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Homosexuality is a mental illness

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Serious problem here /Pol/ and I need honest answer : with all the redpills that I swallow here on a daily basis I feel like my homosexuality is preventing my destiny to happen : I love a man and he come to my life but he is 200% selfabsorbed and in the closet, very proud of himself and don't want any relation with me while visiting me, calling me.. but I like his way to deal with life, i admire his confidence Iam hooked on this asshole. I want this mess to stop and I really want to man up. My sexuality is making me loose a fucking huge amount of time because I feel hard to deal with man, at the end. Gays relationship are based on dominance on both sides and I want love, romance and a meaningful relationship out of this degeneracy that I live. How do I do , anons? How do I change myself ?

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