/cpd/ - CHICAGO POLICE SCANNER THREAD

hola Roberts

>>136648229
Thank you. Let the Robert watch begin (shortly).

>skinny
>white shirts

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bump

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>tfw don't know if I should hang here or skykang thread

>body looks like its going to pop
>memories of a possum that was bloated on the side of the road when I was a kid

>>136649573
For the first time re: skykang, I can agree lol.

Gotta keep the Robert thread going in a tab though--this is just way more comfy than the stream alone.

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All settled in, got sardines, crackers, night cooled off nice, kids asleep for the night.

It's that hazy time between gibs, when people have eaten and smoked everything they have at least a few days ago. Going to be people angry, hunting for fix and cash. Simmering resentment for whitey 'cause of all the shit in the news the last few days...listen to the city bubble and churn like a pot full of fatty pork and peppers, just waiting to go critical and boil over.

Nice to be here with you, robert.

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>>136649573
Skyking on phone, CPD on PC, order a pizza and smoke, live out CIA van LARP.

Live the dream, robert.

>>136650147
I wouldn't mind a cigar or pipe right now. One of these days I'll get in on the tobacco game.

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Your weather for Chicago tonight:
In the 80's over the day, but cooling off to about 64 tonight. Low wind, not many clouds, nice bright moon. It's coonery weather, roberts.

Also, any ongoing reports from mr. drone? last i knew he'd kinda dropped off the radar...probably because the cops were looking for the fucker.

Shots fired

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>>136650507
breeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh....

That looks /comfy/ as fuuuuuuuuuuuuck

just poured a drink. lets get it boys!

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Don't know why we're looking at a war with the norks, got a perfectly good warzone right here. Hell, could you imagine the feeds and livestreams if chicongo went under martial law?

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Good evening Roberts

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threatening suicide!
SHOOT HIM!!

Robbed at gunpoint by Male Black

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2100 hours.

Start of shift change.

>threatening suicide
>car maybe doing drugs
>robbed at gunpoint by male black, fled in car
>hispanic domestic with a six year old
>domestic also called in
>male shoplifters/property damage, being held by rentacops
>perps are five and ten years old

here we go.

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>hispanics
>arguing
>then piled in to car
>blowing stopsigns fleeing from scene

You have to go back.

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>>136652280
what's the reason for Male Black? Like, black male just feels so much more natural

>>136652363
fucking saved

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>male white
>all white clothes
>bothering people
Fucking opposite day...

>battery in progress
>female fighting with cab driver
>female is drunk
I wonder if it's a real cab or an uber. There is no goddamn way i would ever do uber in chicago, not after that tranny maced a guy to not pay a tab and made him smack into a cop car.

also
>ONE!
>ONE SHOT FIRED!
>AH AH AH!
>YOU FUCKING QUITTER!

> The whole of block 730 is fighting each other.

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>several gang members outside
>"sellin' and representin'"

>"fighting the whole rest of the block"
>one arrest, coming back
>been fighting all day
>sounds like the gates of hell in the background

>indian
>criminal sexual abuse

Wait, I walked away for a second, what was that about the whole block fighting?

>>136653039
male red strikes? robert.

>>136653068
Apparently a whole block (houses or a giant project building, not sure) has been in a fight all day. Robert didn't even care. Kind of meh'd it off.

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>>136653068
the 730 block is fighting. Everyone, the whole goddamn block, and have been doing it all day. They're just arresting the stragglers now, like a wolf pack around ill-tempered ape troops.

>>136653147
Pajeet, not feather.

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>fucking panicky-sounding morse code break-ins
>robert goes fucking dark
>dispatch goes dark

Ohshit.

>>136652587
They give the gender first (The 2 genders to Chose from), then the race. So it could be male, white or female, Hispanic

>>136653242
ahh, got gangs of both here.

stay safe robert.

>>136652587
Black Male would be racist. Male Black is ok.

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>>136653234
>>136653242
hahahahahaha

fuckin kek

I wish I could've watched that on a stream or something, fuck. HAHAHA

>>136648229
can i get a quick rundown on this robert?

>>136653457
I get that, but >>136653505
That's fucking dumb. I hate the (((current year))) """"""culture""""""

Checking in for the first time. Is Robert the male dispatcher?

>>136653705
Robert is the name of the police night shift. It's the hero who fights against the villain Male Black.

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>fighting in a car wash
Pure fucking class in chicago.

>>136653705
Robert is the graveyard shift of cops who get put in to deal with the fucking bananas crime rate that spikes up at night. They get the worst of it, and plenty of it.

>breathy, quiet dispatch
Call it in, baby...

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>>136648229

I've seen his regular thread for months now. I know how much the Zim trial and threads changed me, so -
- Question for regular lurkers:

What are key things you've learned from obsessing about the scanner, that you didn't already know?

>>136653705
Robert is the hero we wish we didn't need but are glad to have on our side when times get... dark.

>>136653914
Ty, hopefully Robert can defeat this horde

They're currently high.
We're going to go for simple assult.

>>136654013
the sun does strange shit to it

>bus full of people drinking in the street

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>boyfriend trying to get in caller's home
>"Teeen fooour"

>Two female hispanic
>male white
>smoke crack every day, all day
>downstairs told them to stop, they have kids
>getting angry, high

>assault
>possible mental case
>unknown current location
>wearing all white

>lots of traffic calls
>open keys
>open emergency line
>loud music, drunk, pot
>bus full of people drinking and swearing at kids
>more music in same area

It's not even late.

>>136654013
I didn't find out anything I didn't already know, but the intensity and the frequency of it is what is really stunning.

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>>136654013
The fucking tom-and-jerry level of cartoonish insanity that can happen.
>pic related

Who has a physical scanner next to them with their local shit programed in? That's real deal levels of scannering

>>136654420
Some time after that Male Black took a stop sign and used it as a weapon.

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>FOUR!
>FOUR SHOTS FIRED!
>AH AH AH!

>>136654013
I haven't learned that much, yet I've wondered if a Chicago anon could drive around in his car listening to the police scanner. He could then use the police scanner to pinpoint the location of the crime and then go and take photos/video there. That would be interesting.

CHEK YER KEYS

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>>136654420
>takes down a whole E-pole and carries it down the street with live wires

HO-LEE-SHEEEEEEEEEIT

What is wrong with niggers?

>>136654657
this happens when there is a happening

>>136654544
I've got one but I live in a nice quiet farm town so it's just EMS calls and the occasional fire or car accident.

>>136654684
I feel bad for the good residents of cities like Detroit and Chicago.... Trump should just send in the marines and just clean sweep the entire city of all criminal scum.

>>136655015
Like irl judge dredds.
But straight.

>>136655180

It's Robocop for Detroit.

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>Battery
>in the hospital
>general response of "the fuck do we do?"
>guy got away

>"what's the in process?"
>"ahh...DOA?"
>"well, are detectives on scene?"

>battery in progress
>male hitting female in car

>group of male hispanics
>one with a bat
>walking toward libby's chili

>slow it down to the gang disturbance

>domestic battery
>no visable wounds

>5-6 year old male black
>wandered in
>unable to communicate

>>136655015
Judge Dredd should be an amusing comic, not a valid policy example, but here we fucking are.

>>136655015
The commies/democrats are big fans of the law of the jungle. They call it "democracy", but that's what they mean.

>>136655015
As someone joining the Marines soon, I'm okay with this plan.

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>Group loitering on property
>lots of yelling
>told to leave
>*tired sigh* "nothing further..."

>disturbance
>group of ten male and female blacks
>drinking on abandoned building porch

>kids breaking windows all over the city
>multiple calls
>between 5-10 years old on average

>shoplifter being held after banning

>Fire
>sometime burning on second floor
>nothing further

>Robert starting to roll in for the night

>*mumbled* "by the swimming pool..."

>Male and female having sex in a white chevy
>behind building
>building may also be on fire

>domestic battery
>man says wife is attacking him
>dispatch has a mocking tone

It's not even RRH yet...

Bump again
What are you guys snacking on? I'm eating ramen

>>136655812
You're probably better off eating celery

>male stabbed in the citgo lot
>offender still on scene

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>dispatch background sounds like a on-site feed from a primate house

>morse code cut-in again

>anon callin
>says someone is doing upstairs construction
>unsure if they have permits

>people flashing guns
>"essentially robbing the home"
>homeowner is bedridden

>more morse code cut ins

>homeowner can't control alarm system

>"are you running wagon today?"
>"just waiting on my partner."
>"Ok, so you're up already, i have..."

>man stabbed
>screaming to call 911
>perp is bald, may still be on scene

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>50-60 people
>outside a school
>in the dead of night in Chicago
I'm sure it's a school function.

>amy calling
>car parked by her private spot
>off-duty PO from the 'burbs
>nervous

>burglary in progress
>unknown male hispanic/asian
>credit-card picking the lock
>tried to do this before already
>"Got it, we're just around the corner from there..."

>4 male black
>one has a gun
>nothing further

A few months ago we had a guy call in saying that someone broke into the house. Called in again moments later to state the guy was wearing a bag or mask over his head and had an ax. Dispatch wasn't able to raise the caller again.

>>136657234
>can't get them near a school when they're supposed to be there
>can't keep them out of the place when they aren't

>white buick
>fucking flying

Is that the dude who was trying to credit-card pick the lock on that chick's house? fuck...

Sounds like we've got a helicopter up.

>>136657234

It's nog Michael Myers

What the hell is happening in Chiraq now?

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What is going on in Chicago these days?

>>136659288
Trump sent in the feds, remember?

>tfw Chiraq has been melting down this night

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>>136659478

what a night

>residents in the building are smoking pot and occupying a woman's apartment

if I heard someone sexually abusing a 5 year old I'd call the cops after

>>136660680
uh, after I kicked in his door and beat the shit out of him
to be clear

>>136660680
Fuck
Just heard that as well on the scanner

>Free government phone

Sweet. Glad that's working out

>>136660849
on second thought I am not sure I'd call the cops until i was sure his dick flushed all the way down

>>136660948
Would be embarrassing to explain to Robert why there is a dickless dude on the floor while plunging the toilet.

>>136661049
Robert would understand.

>damaged car fleeing at a high rate of speed
>driver is a female black midget

This fucking city.

>black males throwing rocks at a house

>male playing a saxophone in front of the church

>>136650507
nice view bruh

>>136662245
Fucking hell, it's a reincarnation of Louis Armstrong!

>gangster attack

>couple fighting over a baby

This is becoming a weird night.

GET
A
ROOOOOM

>10 shots fired

>this is a large antagonized family
>probably going to be an all night thing

>>136663190
Inb4 officer down later in the night

>>136663087
I know, wtf was even being discussed? Something about Viagra, dispatch giggling and then Robert groaning. Interesting night.

>>136663329
Is Robert jealous?

>>136662026
Literal ape behavior

>crime scene that just happened
>shooting
>five victims
>blood at two addresses
>a bunch of shell casings

>>136663517
Time to throw another nog on the gurney

Are they just going to ignore this suitcase on the side of the road? They're dancing all around saying they are afraid it's a bomb.

So many fucking snitches calling petty things in, makes me sick.

Double stabbing at concert earlier

>double stabbing at a concert earlier
>still waiting on the evidence techs
>there's a blood trail

>nothing but shootings coming in

>5-7 people fighting/arguing
>drunk uncle
>two niglets shouting on skateboards

LOL Brainwashing call!

>her husband is trying to brainwash her kids so

The hell is in the water tonight?

>husband brainwashing kid
not on the bingo cards yet.

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>>136664773
>The hell is in the water tonight?
ITS A FULL BLOOD MOON TONIGHT

She's pregnant and has a broken nose.

>occupied black car parked for over an hour

probably playing pokemon go

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Checking on /cpd/. Is the club going up on a tuesday??

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>>136665247

>black male on bike

>>136665776
ITs MaLE bLACk WRAYSICST!!!

>unknown male sleeping in the back yard

>man with knife on him leaves it

>he's still being harassed by the boyfriend

I remember that there were two Asian suspects earlier. This night is turning out to be a weird one.

>two male blacks fighting in the walgreens parking lot
>one has a brick

>male black robbed the caller

if you had Australian wildlife loose in Chiraq (such as an emu or a blue ring octopus), would it be appropriate to call the Chicago police to deal with it?

i like your pic bro

cool

>>136668033
The dindus would find a way to use them as bludgeoning weapons.

>>136648229

It was confirmed by shills that the dox of Anon5 was a false flag. Spread the word.

>>136668264
if they grab a blue ringed octopus they'd all be dead in about 20 minutes. its bite is painless

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>shot in the abdomen and groin
>he'll live

>>136668497
SEND
THEM
IN
IMMEDIATELY

>>136668575
>The blue-ringed octopus, despite its small size, carries enough venom to kill twenty-six adult humans within minutes. Their bites are tiny and often painless, with many victims not realizing they have been envenomated until respiratory depression and paralysis start to set in. No blue-ringed octopus antivenom is available yet, making it one of the deadliest reef inhabitants in the ocean.
Are you sure you want them m8?

i compliment you and you don't give a fuck

fuck u .

>>136668575
>>136668982
nig nogs don't do water though.

>>136669054
they can survive out of water. i know a guy who had one in a tank and he found it after returning from a vacation just walking around the kitchen floor

Is this the call that confirmed Nork nuke strikes?

>kids tearing up a fence and throwing boards in the street

>>136669258
blacks or octopi?

>>136671003
You don't keep blacks in an aquarium, anon.

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>>136671736
I heard they can be held in tanks though.

Lol,

>pepper sprayed for fun

These crazy kids and their kicks

>male in a wheelchair screaming for help

slow night

get that man a cigar

Why are Blacks so fucking dumb?
Genetics?

I dont understand any of the words they are saying

>>136678610
Their mothers drink and do drugs while pregnant, then they drink and do drugs.

still haven't caught the guys stealing rims with the 12k xenon headlight kit