When you die, will St Peter let you into heaven?

Of course, I'm white

>>135890221Sage goes on all fields

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>>135890221
And when he gets to heaven
to St Peter he will tell
One more soldier reporting sir
I've served my time in hell

>>135890221
I hope so

>>135890221
If he doesn't want his ass beat.

>>135890405
hey newfag

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>>135890294
This

After I kill him and cut the faggots balls off.

>>135890221
Of course. I have connections up there, so he has no choice but to let me through

No, I gave money to the government that was used to kill innocent babies so Im doomed to hell for eternity.

>>135890221
I jerk off on traps, so probably not.

>>135890221

no, I can't go because I owe my soul to the company store

>>135890221
>implying Peter has any say whether or not anyone enters heaven
Jews and papists burn in Hell, lad.

>>135892426
Matthew 16:18-19King James Version (KJV)

18 And I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.

19 And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.

>baptists have never read their bible

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>>135890221
No because i'm Mexican, but i'll cross the fence anyway

>>135890405
wall goes on the border

>>135894017
Heaven is being brought to Earth and it is Christ who decides, no one else.
You need to actually read the Bible.

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>>135890221
When I die the Euskaldun will grant me eternal life, yes.

Threadly reminder that jeebus is the devil and the Great Dragon of the apocalypse is the actual God.

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>>135890221
No, I'll take unbelief to my grave.

>>135890221
Nope. I shall lounge in the Paradise of Folkvangr, not some made up "heaven" that doesn't even have chairs.

Yes

All traps go to heaven

>>135896913
>Folkvangr

What if you go with Odin and he slurps your sea men?

>>135890221
>implying even a single person here isn't riddled with literal evil

Man, I hope so.

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>>135894017

>>135897000
trips of faggottry

Why be a slave in heaven when you can be a king in hell?

>>135890509
what the hell kind of autism is this?

>heaven
>Real

>>135890221
i hope i simply cease to exist.

>>135890221
Of course, I'm gay

>>135890509
wtf I am laughing my butt off

>>135894858
Then quote the verse jackass...

Except you can't. Baptist BTFO.

>>135895133
dragon of apocalypse is saturn.

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>>135894361

>>135890221
No, because heaven isnt real. And if it was they wouldn't let jews like him in.

>>135902337
but it is real, dumb hohol

>>135890221
Probably not, no.
That's ok, Christ cucks are literally god's boot lickers.

>>135890221
most likely not, if hell is where most people who like to fuck party and get drunk are going, I would rather go and be with them.

Doubtful. But a man can pray his sins will be forgiven.

I hope so man, I do my best to do right and I be sure to thank God for all he does for me.

>>135890221
Depends on the will of Allah

I don't believe in God so I can only hope not.

>>135902235
>muh metaphors

>>135890221
http://i.imgur.com/CuhXNwh.jpg

>>135904144
post it right here

>>135890221
>never hurt anyone in my entire life and only ever try to help people
>didn't pick the right denomination of sand nigger religion at random so go to hell

thanks (((Yahweh)))

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>>135890221

Checkmate atheists.

>>135890221
A man called John died and woke up in heaven
He seen ST.Peter in front of him and begun chatting him
Peter gave him a tour about the place and they walked by a huge wall covered in clocks
John Asked Peter:
>What is this wall and why is it covered in clocks?
>St.Peter: Ah! That is the Great Wall of Lie Clocks, Every one has one, including you! Every time someone lies, their lie clock will tick once. This way god can keep track of everyones lies
>St.Peter: Look over here, this is Mother Theresa's clock. As you can see she has not lied once! Here is Abraham Lincoln's clock and it shows that he has only lied twice
>John: So where is Obama's?
St.Peter: Oh, well it is actually not up here, Jesus has it in his office. He uses it as a fan you see

>>135894017
Peter's faith is like a rock, the foundation of the church is faith in Jesus.

The keys to heaven is the Word of God, which was given to all of us. It is the Word which saves.

Enjoy Hell, filthy papist. We all know that Catholics don't read the Bible, rather they burn people for reading the Bible.