Hey man,
You said that you didn't know why Jesus would sacrifice himself.
You don't know why he'd endure the infinite pain and torture of the quantum (some call it the fixed wheel).
He did it for you, he did it for all of us.
Today a miracle happened and God broke my bitterness. I forgive your family for what they've done to my brothers and sisters.
You're not too far gone, brother. None of us are.
I hope you see this. You are loved.
Thanks.