A joke only Jews can understand

>>135473417

Jews bitch about things to eachother a lot, Gentiles are always chipper when talking to other businessmen

t. octaroonjew

>>135473417
Is it because gentiles are bad at business?

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Jews are so funny.

>>135473417
The joke is jews tell it around other jews and non-jews, and the non-jews think there is something they don't get while the jews realize that there is no true meaning other than to confuse non-jews.

>>135473417
norm is the only comedian I still listen to and have respect for.

>>135473658
nah cause jews would complain

>>135473707
BUT KEEP ISRAEL JEWISH YA HEAH MEE YA GODDAMN GOY
YA DONT OWN NUFFIN

>>135473868
same
and he's the only apolitical comedian who really means it. Most are like Carlin or Hicks, it's just part of their edgy act

Love Norm

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A jewish joke by Jacques Attali, one of France's most prominent and influential globalist jews :

"Schlomo telephones David saying: “Listen, I have a great deal for you. I have a truck full of pants worth $1. Do you want them? Great.”

David takes the pants. He telephones Jonathan and tells him: “Listen, I have a great deal for you, a truck full of pants worth $2. Do you want them? Great.”

Jonathan call Shaoul who proposes $3 and the story continues. Until at a certain moment Moshe calls Christian and says: “I have a great deal for you. I have pants worth $49.” “Great, great, I’ll take them.”

The following day Christian telephoned to Moshe saying:
– Listen, you’re really a crook.
– What do you mean I’m a crook?
– But yes, you sold me unwearable pants for $49.
– What do you mean?
– You know very well. I opened the truck and the pants only had one leg. What do you want me to do with pants which no one can wear?
– You don’t understand. These aren’t meant to be worn. They are meant to be bought and sold, to be bought and sold, and bought, and sold!"

It's because it's uncool for Jews to talk positive about business. Usually they will say something like Q. "Hows business? A. " Ahhh, it could always be better."

>>135473417
Jews laughing at goyim for not being able to comprehend in-group preferences anymore.

>>135473417
That's pretty funny desu. I heard a lot of jew jokes are like that, super short, and takes a brain to figure out. maybe it's because their iq is higher then whites, so those type of jokes actually works.

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>>135474468
Ha ha ha

>>135474468
thats pretty good i dont know why youre a nazi desu

goy walks into a store on 7th ave.
goy: how much for the leather jacket in the window?
jew: $500
goy: I'll take it.

>>135475078
>their iq is higher then whites

*than whites. Than whites, goy.

>>135475472
I probably need to add that he said this joke in front of a jewish audience, but it leaked out.

To control the leak he said it again on TV this time but modified the names so the goyim wouldn't get the full meaning of it.

>>135473417

>he's a jew
>half jew
>full jew
>full jew
>holocaust denier, also

>>135473956
kek

it's a pretty simple joke, similar to

>jewish kid comes home from college
>mom: I bought you two sweaters, they're on your bed
>kid comes down wearing one
>mom: what, you don't like the other one

>>135473417
wait wait wait
are you telling me theres finally a new episode of Norm Live??????????????

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>>135476710
>https://youtu.be/VaXlQOzPHK8
>its real

>>135476830
too bad that episode was mind numbingly boring.

>>135473707
How can a man be so based

Brown Reagan when?

>>135474007
ben doesn't care what jews come to israel. african, arabic, asian, south american (black, white, brown).

america and europe should emulate israel's immigration policy and let in black, white, arabic, asian christians.

>>135473531
This is the duplicitous kike answer. The real reason kikes love this joke is because they know that business is never good for non-kikes because the kikes are ripping them off one way or another.

>>135477147
And yet even if niggerjews flooded israel it would still be jewish. This is also keeping in mind the number of non-Caucasian Jews are limited in numbers anyway so the threat of Israel being populated by circumsized niggers is very small.

>>135476981
>Letterman
>funny

pick one

>>135477147
America and Eruope haven't been connected to religion for a hundred years. We first need to reappropriate our religion. Otherwise it would be just like the current Islamic invasion, outbreeding natives.

>>135477219
Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates and Warren Buffett and the Walmart heirs aren't Jewish. how's business for them?

>>135477430
>And yet even if niggerjews flooded israel it would still be jewish.
and if we import african/arabic/asian christians we'd still be christian.

>>135477701
>not jews
>they just work for them
bluepilled as fuck faggot

>>135477147
america is already letting in tens of millions of spic christians. now we also need tens of millions of 70 iq african christians too?

christcucks are so fucking stupid. i'm just glad you're going to die when the west does and you can't poison the future anymore.

I like how he had to pause and mentally rephrase to avoid saying "goyim"

>>135477879
but israel was predominantly ashkenazi ("white") jewish in the early 1900s up until 1948, they then took in mizrahi (arabic) jews en masse, nearly half its population without hesitation and israel has only gotten stronger, better since.

>>135477147
>america and europe should emulate israel's immigration policy and let in black, white, arabic, asian christians.
you're right
we should do like Israel and import hordes of non-whites who follow our religion, then sterilize them under the guise of vaccinations

>>135477701
Jeff bezos isn't a Jew? Could have fooled me he looks like a kike

>>135478068
there's only a tiny amount of kikes in the entire world you fucking retard. random 60 iq mud people can't just magically convert to it like they can with christianity. saying america needs to accept christians just means we need to accept all the fucking shitskins in south america and most of africa.

judaism is a small club while christianity is a public park moron.

>>135477219
It probably goes a step further than that. The kikes are ripping everyone off, but doing it in such a manner that the goyim are deceived into thinking getting ripped off is good for them.

>>135477607
i never said letterman was funny

>>135478154
that was practiced on some ethiopians, not all and not for long. this wasn't practiced on the arabic/maghrebi/asian jews. besides, their ethiopian population has tripled in size since.
>>135478455
and israel is tiny, it's a tiny land and if you're a real jew (anyone can convert properly if they want) they won't turn you away. we can do this, man. all christians are our brothers at the end of the day, we can't discriminate against them.

>>135477906
Noticed that too.

>>135477906
haha yeah i thought the same thing

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>>135473417
a joke about jews anyone can understand

>>135478616
>our brothers
fuck off. i'm happy that china is burning down christcuck churchs and killing preachers. fuck you. and fuck anybody who thinks 50 iq mud people are human's equals. you're why the west is going to collapse and also why christianity is going to fail and be removed from this world.

good job being a delusional fucking retard. also no they can't convert if they feel like it. kikes don't allow subhumans to become jewish cause they feel like it. it's for the stupid golem goyim like yourself

>>135478796
kek

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>>135478796
kek

>>135478834
nope. they allow anyone to convert. anyone. if you convert orthodox you're a jew and get automatic citizenship. if you're reformed that's another story. anyone has the right to convert orthodox.

nice going, you leave christianity and our faith the moment times get tough. you are weak. you're what the bible describes as "the synagogue of satan".

>>135473417
>Literally the one time we need an Israeli poster here and none to be found

Oy vey

>>135479064
>"the synagogue of satan".
Right about that you are.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6WwQgPl_9o

>>135479271
Ill try and summon them
>Boy Israel sure sucks, can't believe jews did 911.
Free stuff.

>>135473417
the joke is that kikes would still complain even if they were doing well

goyim dont understand it unless they know about this stereotype.

>>135479064
times are tough cause you're a fucking retard who thinks 60 iq mud people are white men's equals you fucking retard. if you didn't exist then there wouldn't be tough times.

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:}

>>135473417
>So two gentile businessmen meet on the street. One of them says,
>>How's business?
>The other one says,
>>Great!

The joke is about paranoia and the lack of it among gentiles. Jews would never say that business is good (esp to other Jews) because it would encourage the other Jew to copy them.

>>135481654
Nah. They believe their business is going well when they're actually kicking it up to the jew who isn't working at all. If business is good for their gentile slaves, it's good for them as well. Any other interpretation is a kike trying to mislead you.

>>135473417
I got a better one


2 Jews walk into a bar

Bartender says : get the fuck out

>>135481019
not an argument

>>135481944
he should have shot them.

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>>135473417
Oy vey.

>>135473707
Where are you really from? Why are you here?

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>>135477701
>how's business for them?
Great!

Two gentiles walk into a bar. The Jewish examiner fails them both.

Replace youtube with hooktube in the url to archive vids and to avoid giving clicks please.

https://hooktube.com/watch?v=-xYRW8DGNrg

Evil is evil i get that also.

>>135481654
This. Copy them... Or sabatoge, or otherwise get an upper hand over them

>>135482617
Kek

>>135473417
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKzzyOsvajc

>>135482823
Why would I want to do that? It's Norm.

>>135473417

The jew would say "ehh, could be better"

>>135483259
Or perhaps leech from them in some way.

>>135478616
>> convert to Jew.

Like nigs converting to white.

>>135474628
Not uncool... barbaric.

It's foolish to let others know how well you are doing.

I'm a goy and learned this from the Chinese. All old merchant cultures know this, only naive barbarians don't.

>>135482216
What is their problem with Wendy's?

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>>135473417
This is why I never watched Seinfeld. The jokes are as funny as watching planes crash on 9/11 while jews are dancing on roof tops. It's just bizarre and odd. Just... wtf man... jews are weird creatures.

>>135473417
I don't get it........

>>135484984
business is a great thing

>>135476981
The praise that everyone kept heaping on him as if he was Jesus Christ returned. Watch Lettermans earlier stuff. In particular watch his first interviews with John Candy (an actual talent) and you'll see he was actually really shitty at his job. Usually just a little annoying to the guests. I don't know whose dick he sucked to get that job, but I'll bet you anything it was cut during a bar-mitzvah.

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Norm on gay pride

http://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1501387762908.webm

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>>135478834
>he doesn't realize he's talking to a jew hiding behind a meme flag

>>135476353
What's the joke? Derivatives?

>>135489078
The joke is that the goy, Christian, is too stupid (down to earth) to understand that the intrinsic value of goods doesn't matter when trading.

So he gets scammed and the stock market crashes. Stock markets crash because goyim are dumb.

>>135474007
Well israel isnt as big as america

>>135490664
Wtf!!!! So it's just the scam!!

In trading this is called the short squeeze. But it can't happen on the long side because things have intrinsic value so you could hold it til next quarter. So it's a kike long squeeze.

>>135474007

a large portion of isreal's population are russians and arabs and the jews that exist there come several different ethnic groups due to their dispora history

>>135473821
This is the best answer so far, the truth is that the joke means whatever a Jew wants it to mean at any given moment. That's the answer to every Jewish joke and riddle: there is no right answer. It's an endless argument to see who can Jew the other one the most. There is no bottom, no ultimate truth, no principle or virtue that can't be bent. Just more and more kikery until the goyim get fed up and chase you out with torches and pitchforks.

>>135491896
This is the most Jewish answer I've ever heard in my life. It's also bullshit. The base formula for all Jewery is the following:

what you see is a cyclical, amorphous thing and you should just accept it for what it is because who knows what tomorrow will bring. The price might not be what you came in here wanting, and what I'm saying isn't what you want to hear. But it's the truth and the marketplace is really difficult for the thing you're doing so the price is the first price i said -12% because I know you now. And you're smart enough to get the -12% from my cousin. So I'm jumping on the deal.

There is always a price. And it's always simple.

>>135482531
fuck, I laughed harder than I should have.

Norm is God

>>135473417
>So two jewish businessmen meet on the street. One of them says,
>>How's business?
>The other one says,
>>Lousy!

For those of you that don't get the joke.

>>135473417
Let me see if I can translate this joke into Goyspeak.

So two negro stoics meet on the street. One of them says,
>How's your resolve and accountability?
The other one says,
>I'm complacent.

It's not as funny though, if you don't hate niggers as much s Jews hate gentiles. I tried.

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>>135474468
>>135475177
you dumbass goyim are doing it wrong
it's supposed to be short and to the point

IE
>yo mama so fat they had to push her smoke up the chimney

>>135488429
Norm is the best

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I miss the Man-Grate selling chunky Norm.
When's the Tyson episode due?

Well he gave away the meaning before he even told the joke.
>The joke is that you won't get the joke
Here's the key: it's only "funny" if a Jew tells the joke.
It's just some bullshit for a Jew to throw out to confuse people.

>>135480574
Fuck off retareded goy nutjob

>>135497811
You have to go back Igor

>>135473417
Jews would say that it could be better

>>135476704
the only reason i got this joke was because 90s sitcoms explain what jews are like

>>135492180
The joke is actually that jews love to complain about things.

>>135474468
This is giving me PTSD to the day I went all in on an altcoin pump and lost

>>135482531
top kek

Norm is such a fucking legend

Two Jews reminiscence about their time at Auschwitz

>>135473417
There are many jewish supremacist ways of looking at it, but it triggers laughter because of jewish study of the Talmud where they have to argue the validity and probability of derivative meaning. The joke is that gentiles don't know how this joke is supposed to go. It's a thought pattern joke.

I like how Seinfeld pauses before saying gentile.

>two ... gentile businessmen

He wanted to say goyim but caught himself.

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>>135473417
>So two gentile businessmen meet on the street. One of them says,
>>How's business?
>The other one says,
>>Great!

hahaha... oh shit

>>135473417

The joke is that it takes a 115 Jewish IQ to understand that there is no joke, while the 100 IQ goy sits there scratching his head assuming there is

>t. Schlomo

>>135503019
I can't tell if he was purposefully trying to be as jewy as possible and caught himself or not.

This kike's yid magic is strong.

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post more jew jokes

There's this guy on the train and he's seated across from a very old jewish man. The jewish man can't stop talking:

"Oooooy am I thoisty! Oooooooooooy am I THOISTY!"

So the guy thinks to himself, this guy is suffering, why is no one getting him a drink? So he goes up to the man and asks him if he can get him anything to drink. He ends up going through the entire train to get to the bar cart, gets a cup of ice water, and brings it to the jewish man, who drinks it down in one go.

Five minutes pass in complete silence. Then the man starts up again:

"OOOOYYYYY WAS I THOISTY!"

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>>135503143
The joke is their "great profits" are skimmed to send to Israel like the good slaves they are.

>>135503182
This is a thread for Jew jokes, not a thread for jokes about Jews, sir. Get with it.

>>135503248
>implying I didn't get this joke from a jew

>>135501406
>oh shit this goy knows, gotta shut it down
>nutjob

hehe the goyim will never know *hand rubs*

>>135473417
It's funny to the jews because when they hear the opening lines they make all kinds of complex expectations on how the other responds - yet he measily says "Great".

>>135473417
the point of the joke is just how he pronounces "Great".

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>>135475078
>maybe it's because their iq is higher then whites
Speak for yourself. You sound like a retard and you spell like one too

>>135507217
Israel isn't Jews, Israel is full of shitskins too mate, you honestly think the juden are going to give up their slave workforce lmao

>>135507217
jews are only found in israel? dude, i got some bad news. you may want to sit down for this.

>>135476197
grammar. i think we may have found the one thing canadians are actually good at. Too bad it won't help the clown whomst you elected leader than your nigger economy comes crashing down.

>>135507518
>dude, i got some bad news
Oh look it's the retard who can't spell.. I have some bad news for you too. I'm not the two professors who did the study and wrote the book, ask them. And now the bad news. You just proved yourself to be a low IQ retard.

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>>135507352
>Israel isn't Jews
Sure I believe you schlomo.

>>135508688
Does statistics regarding the average IQ in the US represent white people?

No because niggers like you draw down the average.

Ok. Let me break it down to you. You will call me fatha! Here is the true meaning simplified: The white master finished his dinner, farted and left the table. He took of his leather belt because his fat and sweaty belly was squeezed. He wrapped the belt around his hand ready to hit the house nigger in the face (the goy). He looked at the nigga and said.. - eh, not today and by the way you can have some of that fried chicken I left on my plate.

Get it now? Well you see, thats a Great! Day for the nigger.

>>135473658

No, nepotist parasite culture.
You are obliged to help a fellow Jews out.
If you are in politics or banking you can do it with the Goyim money that you have stolen with deception.
If you are just a small business man, but doing financially well, you are supposed help then a fellow Jews with your own money.
So better not tell a fellow Jews business is great.

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Crackwhore!

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>>135473707

>>135473417
/thread
t. 100% Jew

>>135482531
Lol

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LeLtbBhitRY

Skip to 7:24 if you're short on time

>>135477430
Only Ethiopian Jews are allowed because they don't look or act old niggers.
They look like black Jews, facial structure kvetching and everything.
Even then they are still treated like second class citizens because even the Mizrahi Jews know how dumb and barbaric niggers are.

>>135477701
>goy
>peanuts for jews