/CPD/ CHICAGO PD SCANNER GENERAL - REAL NIGGER HOURS EDITION

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Getting hectic out there

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in for Robert busting up street nogs

real crack-smoking hours

>to kiwi Robert
There's well over 300 million people in this country. By any real standard, at least a few of them are going to be total fucking idiots.

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>>135370280
friday night prime Robert hours

>because someone will cut her head off

>>135370136
Thanks for the thread Robert, had to be away for a few.

>someone can't see her because she's black and someone will cut her head off
What...did i misshear this?

>>135370375
even with a large population things shouldnt be like this, this is because you guys got easy on the niggers

you think shit was like this in the 40's? fuck no because if they ever tried to pull this shit they would get fucking lynched

>>135370508
Got your back Robert

>>135370514
No anon, you sure didn't.

>>135370514
this is just an average night for Chicago's blacks

>>135370411
That happened in my city, over a game of Magic on Halloween. I wish I was kidding. Dude was caught walking down the highway with a machete and a head.

>>135370566
Them digits.

Really I think that's an actual factor for a lot of things nationwide as a whole. Men are not men, but little boys. Women are little girls and whores. There's no real guidance for the youth or punishment in life for most things anymore.

>>135370659
>caught
Was he trying to be sneaky? Fuck m8

>>135370566
Civil Rights Act of 1964 is the law which has placed us here and who truly knows for the future.

>>135370659
I'm shocked it was not a "sweet ass katana" since they were playing magic.

>foot chase

>>135370566
You see anon, once upon a time along came a Jew, and to the niggers of America this particular Jew proclaimed, "I have a Dream!" And now here we are.

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get 'em Robert

>is this a male or female?
transphobic bitch

>>135370136
>gambling and swearing
>like they do every night

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>>135370566
I'd be more then happy to start treating them like animals, but pretty much everyone in a city will act as if your insane for being worried about the borderline feral apes.

>america used to be a first world country not to long ago

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>Like Lazarus
Oh god their becoming immune to bullets

>>135370767
Well, no. He called the cops on himself. Hold on.

http://kfor.com/2014/10/30/police-investigate-near-beheading-murder-of-stillwater-teen-one-in-custody/

There ya go. Then we had some crazy bitch plow through a parade. Then a bunch of methheads burned a body on not their property. It's sleepy till it's nuts, hard to describe. School's about to start up too, bringing in some more nonsense to deal with. Drugs come with students.

>Like lazarus, he came back to life.
It's a Chiraq miracle.

>like Lazarus he has come back to life
lmao

>>135370912
The first mistake was Deposit Insurance Provisions of the Banking Act of 1933.

>>135371141
This is not America. This is ChIraq.

>>135371174
shoot yourself with small bullets to build up immunity to larger calibre bullets

>>135371221
1914 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Federal_Reserve_Act

>>135371141
Chicago is like South Africa's Lesotho

Is Lesotho in South Africa?
Yes

Is it even more fucked than South Africa?
Yes

Is Chicago in America?
Yes

Is Chicago way more fucked up than the rest of America?
Yes

>>135371221
>1865

>>135371191
>stillwater
we wuz third street saints and sheeit

>>135371384
And yes I understand that Lesotho is it's own country

>>135371267
More than one African has killed himself because he believed the witch doctor who told him to do that.

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>>135371267
I had to do that in order to live in Chicago. Start with a 2mm pinfire (pic related) every day and work your way up. Shit hurts but you get used to it. .

>group of males blacks selling drugs
WHAT?!??!!

>114 mph

>114 mph
>in a nissan

god speed guy, but you don't need it

>>135371441
The ghetto starts at 9th, close though. That game fucked with me since SPD don't fuck around, Operation Dragonslayer and whatnot.

>Doin' donuts in the street.
>Group of Blacks sellin' drugs, one has a pocket knife.

>white charger doing donuts in the street

>>135371474
yeah you gotta step your way up. The people who used the 50AE for youtube were really on a 9mm level of tolerance.

>white dodge charger doing doughnuts

Doughnuts doin' dodge charger northbound.

>between 35 and 39 cars drag racing in the parking lot

>35 to 39 cars trying to use a parking lot to race.

>BONAFIDE burglary

>the daughter's at the door with a knife trying to fight the other daughter

>>135371934
One will end up dead the other will end up in jail, The boy they are fighting over forgot them in a week

>gsw to right shin left ankle

>woman yelling for help
Robert is literally a superhero

Niggers are in jail longer entirely because they get more serious charges.

https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=1985377

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>>135370136
Help me Robert!!

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>>135371387

>>135370136
Somebody throwing up signs and threatening people.

>special attention skate park
>launda having issues with boyfriend

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>>135372172
>that almost perfectly circular hole

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>complaining about the white....

I bet they've never used that combination of words before

>>135372386
I think you can see his lung expanding and deflating also

>the wagon's coming your way

>gunshot wound
>serious condition

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>>135371544
>>group of males blacks selling drugs
>WHAT?!??!!

i know right? sounds like a fucking lie.

>>135372478
Now and then they do. Not long ago there was the unicorn Native American with tribal tattoos stabbing a black woman.

>>135372682
One night we also had 3 male arabs dragging a handcuffed guy into the woods.

>>135372681
His face pisses me off EXACTLY as much as niggers' faces do now. Christ I'm serious its uncanny. Fucking triggering meme you got there be careful.

>loud music, people can't sleep

I'm going to bed, I have things to do tomorrow. Keep your keys checked.

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>Can't translate baboon speak

>>135372841
I felt weird just looking at it myself.

>>135372172
and nignog's friend, or whoever, probably didn't call anyone. gotta git dem views

>>135373364
Goodnight, Robert.

alright faggots, see you tommorrow

and fix your fucking country

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>>135371021
Star nigg to the rescue

>>135373839
See you next time

>>135373483
that's a cool pepe

>>135372569
Yup, and he left a big pile of his skin on that metal plate behind him.

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>>135372841
>>135373491

Diversity is our strength!

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>Being surrounded
>Cops just left

>>135370136
Late to the party, Roberts, anything good happen?

>>135375150
The usual Friday night coonery.

>>135375150
Some typical shit, but stuff like drag racing, a few deaths, drunk bitches who couldn't move, 11 year old with a gun, dudes gambling, shitty drug fronts, but otherwise standard shit.

>30 year old male walked into the hospital with three stab wounds to the back

Man stabbed in Garfield Park.

>>135370136
40 year old male hit in throat and bleeding, unable to speak.

Did they just say responding to people armed with flathead screwdrivers?

>Female screaming out of the house for help

What else is new

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>>135372172
>when niggers steal electricity

>>135370136
More drag races, must be some kind of season.

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Fritatto or Fritatta?

Now I'm hungry

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>>135370136
I support the police. It is sad I never see marches to support the police.

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ready for an all-nighter.

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>>135373434
I just died from that.

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Why is, "check your keys" a meme, is a dispatcher famous for saying this?

>>135376813
I don't know if you ever went down to Lower Wacker but it's a whole "Fast and the Furious" scene pretty much every weekend. Sorry for the lame Commie Trib vid, don't feel like looking for anything better.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHF-3U507vE

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>>135377492
The radios have a button to talk which can get stuck and keep them broadcasting over the channel. So dispatch will notify the channel there's an open key, or active radio.

Sometimes it takes a little while before Robert notices

>male early 20s shot in the street

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Halsted and Roscoe is "Boystown" for all you non-Chicago listeners. Fags in drag at the gay bars, the fights get very catty.

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>>135377659
hahaha, I gather "robert" is code for.... cop?

>>135377905
Night shift patrol cars.

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>>135377905
Yep!

>the person shot is going to voicemail

F

>there was an auto accident
>now the drivers are punching each other

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>TWO
>TWO AMBULANCES NEEDED FOR THE KNIFE FIGHT
>AH AH AH

>males throwing knives and fighting with each other while others stand around filming it
WORLDSTAR

>>135378390
The winner of a knife fight is the guy who dies in the hospital.

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sounds like it going to be a boring night, robert

>>135378390
yeah wtf, "throwing knifes at each other, bystanders filming" Id seriously just shoot them both and arrest the filmers (don't know how to green text)

>>135378525
dis gun be good

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Evening, Roberts. Looks pretty comfy here tonite.

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>>135378599
Evening good sir. Can we.... get the video of the knife fight?

>a suicide
>but nothing unusual

Obama's Legacy.

Why is there not a fkn curfew in Chicago.

>>135378931
das rayciss

>>135378931
walgreens

>>135378931
Democrats are running the city. Why would they do something against their voterbase?

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>>135378931
>Blacks can tell time

>>135379019
against their voter base? if there were a curfew there would be no nigglers standing around at 1 am throwing knifes at each other

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>>135379086
kek

>>135379158
>niggers can't sell drugs and have negro moment
>das racist am not gon to da electionz

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>Drunk males throwing beer cans
>Some guy having a seizure
>Not authorized to be in wallgreens

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>>135379397

Sounds like the most recent /CPD/ meetup.

>Man of a ..... Dark complexion
God dam women are the cutest things ever.

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We need to return to the Classical Era of Robert.

>>135379545
I heard there was one, apparently it got slightly out of hand but I didn't hear specifics.

What went on?


>Teenage runaways a tale as old as time

>>135379640
reminds me of the beginning of one of the Dirty Harry movies...can't remember which one it was.

>>135379711
Checked

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>>135379711

We got shithoused. I didn't eat at work and had a couple drinks before going to meet up with another anon. We irl shitposted hipsters, got kicked out of bars, got in a fight between us. There was blood. /CPD/ meetup almost ends in arrests, the irony is not lost on me. Haven't touched alcohol since, too old for that level of drunk antics. Still a success.

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>>135379982
Still sounds like a fun time, if you do it again just bring a sober friend who can keep you relatively in line.

>>135379839
The one where he's eating and there's a robbery across the street, or when the diner he goes to is getting robbed?

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Peeping Tyrone
>She recognized his eyebrow
Lol, what?

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Recognized his eyebrows?

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>omgoodness Robert

>>135380208
>>135379839
yeah, that's the one I'm thinking of.

>>135380446
HUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE

>someone breaking into the meat freezer at the crab shack

>>135381033
>so what are you in for?
>I was feeling kinda crabby and made a bad choice.

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>>135381033
>>135381106

Yep, I remember my first krabby patty

>middle eastern men creeping

>Male black trying to break 7/11 door

I don't think they lock?

Assault in progress
Male black trying to break into 7-11
Male blacks fighting in a house

I just realized it's Friday night, did I miss anything good?

>>135381730
Standard shit, but also 11 year old with gun, lots of fights, drunk bitches passed out, man recognized by his eyebrows, men swearing and gambling, lots of drag races, shit like that.

>Drunk in a cubs hat being drunk and obnoxious on the Red Line
I'm shocked

>>135381872
Thanks anon. 11yo, outstanding. Niggerlyness and the fall of western civilization never disappoints.

>male locked himself in the bathroom at Subway and refuses to come out

>>135382523
He's refusing to come out because it's taking him a while to shit out all those crappy vegetables. The hardest part is when you need to get those cucumbers out.

>another attempted suicide in the garage

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>Another attempted suicide in the garage.

>>135382523
This same shit happened in Denver a couple months ago, I'm curious how Robert will handle it.

>over 200 people drag racing
>Honda driving around on three wheels

>>135370136
Male black shooting at a car in West Town.

>>135370136
8 shots fired, the boys are bringing out their heaters.

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>EIGHT
>EIGHT SHOTS FIRED
>AH AH AH

>shot in the back
>doesn't know where he was when he got shot

>>victim shot in the back

>>truck with a bullet hole

>>pregnant teen touched in no no spot by sisters boyfriend

>>anybody got any crime scene tape?

Male white trying to jump into cars when they stop.

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>2 females feel uncomfortable in house
>Male trying to get inside
Did you get that?
No

>>135381033
Is Jameis Winston in Chicago?

>>135377492
Chicago police are notorious for misplacing their car keys.
Friendly dispatchers just reminding them to check on em'

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>Split personality
>Drinking
>Woman

A winning combination

>>135370136
Male black at 7-11 again. Anyway it's late, sun will be up here in Chicago, goodnight.

>>135386679
Goodnight Robet.

>on the look out for mongolian beef(?)