Let Her Keep Maiden Name?

It's a sign that she's proud of her accomplishments and has enough self-worth that she feels like taking your name is almost a slight or a way or margializing her accomplishments.

A successful marriage is literally about two people becoming one. They consider the other before themselves, they bend over backwards for the other, etc. I can understand where your woman is coming from though, but ultimately her decision is coming from a place of selfishness. Whether or not you think this "selfishness" could seep into other aspects of your relationship in an unhealthy manner is a bigger questions.

A woman with self worth is great. A woman with inflated self worth leads to a very selfish person.

>>135014291
At very very least make her hyphen it with your name. If you don't out your foot down here it will only get worse

its her name so it doesn't have anything to do with you. have you agreed on the childrens' last name though?

Put your foot down right away but treat her with utmost respect. It's bad for the kids too as they don't know who's side to be on.

usually their excuse is that when people google their publishing history it won't link to their work under their maiden name but that's pretty irrelevant if they're maintaining their cv/linked in/web presence. if that was actually the case I'd say make her take your last name and she can publish with a hyphenated name but since that concern would be so easy to fix with SEO she should just take your name

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>>135014291
>marrying a woman with a phd
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

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>>135014291
>wants to keep her maiden name
Put your foot down and have her change it.

>>135015206
this

your children should carry your name.

>>135014291
If you do not make more money than her, or have more accomplishments under your hat, this relationship is DOOMED.

>>135015206
>>135015526
>career woman
>children
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

>>135014291

i see it as a warning sign. just wait until she shoves a prenup at you.
>i earned all of my money and status, you're not entitled to half of it ...

>>135014291
>she has a phd and is almost done with medical school
red flag # 1
>won't take your name in marriage
red flag # 2

Not only should you not marry her, you should dump her.

>>135014291
It shows she has no concept of traditionalism or masculinity.
Sorry but this is because she doesn't respect you enough to take your name.

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>>135014291
>double barrel namefage here

i choose my mothers name to spite my cuck father. DONT LET HER KEEP THE NAME

>>135014291
Whats your job then?

>>135014291
>actual chance at relationship with a decent woman
>fuck it up by listening to some sexually frustrated online spergs

>>135015709
This

>>135014291
literally kys if you marry that whore

>>135016090
my father's a cuck too and my mother's family are complete badasses, but i could never bring myself to do something like that

>>135015960
All of this. Next.

>>135014291
You cave on this, imagine the cuckdom that awaits you when you get married to this person.

She is seeing how much she can get away with now, for total control of you later....and then the cunt will realize she doesn't want you anymore because you had no spine.

>>135015960
he's on track to being a househusband

>>135016396
my dad let his woman hyphanate their childs last name....fuck him, his legacy died the day he cucked out

>>135014291
That's a redflag. Did she give you a reason or just cause.

>>135014291
You could allow her to practice under her maiden name. She must change her last name though.

>>135014291
Put your foot down. Families only work out if the central figure is the father.

If you treat her as a equal, it all goes downhill from there.

>>135014291
>being with a career woman whore
You're already fucked so it doesn't matter what you do.

>>135014291
she has to keep her name to keep her publications

My sister kept her maiden name. She is now dead from cancer. So it's clear that keeping your maiden name will kill you. So don't do it.

Let her keep her name but prenup her ass to forfeit any future child support or alimony payments.

>>135014291
I knew a guy who was married to a hedge fund manager and despite not making nearly as much as her the relationship was fine, but thats because he was a veteran of the 82nd Airborne, that background made him man enough despite making less.

I work in healthcare, let her keep it. It will just be much, much easier for her.

>>135014291
So is this a partnership or is she seeking to create a family?

>>135014291
If she does not take your name, don't marry her. Trust me, Anon.

>>135014291

>marrying a woman who is about to become a doctor

When will she have time to raise your kids?

Answer: never.

Honestly it's fine to let your wife keep her last name. It's the kids last name that really matters.

My girl tried to pull this shit. It's some kind of feminism thing I bet. Put yer fucking foot down or you're a cuck and you're opening yourself up for more cucking later.

Sure, what's the problem? Better than a double-barrelled name which is retarded as fuck.

>>135017251
>Let her keep her name but prenup her ass
Given that OPs girlfriend has a phd and he posts on 4chan, this doesn't seem like a smart financial decision.

>>135017530
His payments to her not from her.

>>135016590
ireland is a fucking hellhole unfortunately
id personally rather slice my own throat with a dull rusty dagger

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>>135017715
That's not how a prenup works.

>>135014291
>woman more accomplished than you agrees to marry you
>still think you can place conditions on her and "put your foot down"
This is why white people need to die. Entitled fucking faggots like you doom us all.

>>135014291
Huge red flag, abort

>>135014291

It's a superficial tradition but it's still a little odd that she doesn't want your last name.

Express disapproval but don't be a childish faggot about it and she should change her mind in time.

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>>135014291
Don't do it bro. You need to put your foot down.

>Tfw only my brother and I carry our last name.
>No one else to carry it.
>No cousins or anything that carry the name. All father had was sisters.

>Mfw my brother is probably the only one who can continue the lineage.
>Mfw my line will die out.

Tell her if she wants to go non-traditional you're fine with that. You didn't want to wear a wedding ring anyway.

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>>135018162
rub one off mister tranny
oh wait...

>>135014291


she takes your name or no ring

dont buckle on this one

>>135014291
whatever floats your boat

My brother's wife had to keep her maiden name because Chinese law requires you to keep your maiden name or the commies will claim your inheritance. Her parents are landowners.

Have you asked her what her reasoning is?

>1 post by this ID

nevermind this was a troll thread

It's common for an established woman (specially PHD) to continue to use their maiden name in professional circumstances, and otherwise use their married name.

Retards on here won't understand that it's important to tie research together to a specific person. Author of research in academics is usually a key factor, so it's tough if that person's name changes.

The above is a good compromise, no reason she can't just continue to write journals etc under her old name, and use the new one for everything else.

>>135014291

Ask her to change her name but call herself whatever she wants professionally like a stage name. That way she can have a career that wont bleed into her personal life as easily.

>>135015206

>phd
>plus medical school

Shes going to need all that education to figure out how to conceive let alone more than one. Shes got to be 32-35 right now right? Let alone when she has time for kids.

>let her keep her name
Guaranteed divorce, though the chances are already high because she seems to be a career woman.
At the very least you need to combine names with a hyphen and your children need to take your last name.

Why would anyone want to be called Dr. Faggot? Let her keep it OP.

>>135018162
It IS his entitlement, the surname of the man is the child's birthright.

>>135019005
Hyphen route is cucked. Elevating their status equal to yours.

For an argument to her, state the (true) thing about "it's not you taking my name, it's about me sharing my name with you, becoming part of a single family with me" etc.

Either way maiden name for professional circumstances (AKA. New Name). New name for everything else.

She'll initially argue against it, put foot down, then she'll self rationalise later, and can't claim you're being unreasonable.

>>135018266
>superficial
Obviously you aren't too well-educated in history.

>>135014291
>marrying a woman who went to the University

Absolutely disgusting

>>135014291
I'd be okay with it, as long as the kids carry my name. Otherwise you need to step up and assert yourself. And if you don't plan on having kids, then there is literally no point in marrying.

>>135019625
>entitlement
no. Surnames are a relatively modern creation. There is no such entitlement or established tradition.
On the other hand, turning down an entitled insecure faggot is her's and her father's absolute right.

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>>135014291
>To be a cuck, or not to be a cuck
What a dilemma, OP

>>135015960
This. Hypergamy is not a meme. She will kick you to the curb and hook up with a doctor Chad the second she gets the chance.

>>135015709
Yup...unless you don't mind being completely emasculated.

My sife wanted to keep her basic normie name cause she couldn't pronounce mine.

Now she can't pronounce hers.

>>135018285
>mfw It's just me left to carry the family name

27 and the clock keeps ticking

>>135020337
Tyrone is an easy name to pronounce. She has a lisp or smth?

>>135014291
Why don't you just take her name while you're at it, cuckboy.

My fiance is a doctor as well and we are getting married in a few months.
I told her straight up either she takes my name or we can live in a civil partnership and that it is up to her to decide. She decide to take my name.
Put your foot down OP.

>>135014291
>>135014883
>>135015865
>>135015773


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RACE WAR NOW
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This is so the European(white) male can live well. That's all its about. So we can start families and continue the works of our Father.

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>>135016860
This is the only way to go.

>>135014291
When I got married I actually took her name. As long as you don't hyphenate, because that's always stupid.

>>135020508
Kek, my high school's debate coach hyphenated his name with his wife's
He was the biggest nu-male fag ever, everyone hated him
Plus he vaped constantly
Do you wanna be that guy OP

I am taking my wife's son last name so that he can think of me as his true guardian. Let her do what she wants anon

>>135014291
Don't be a tryhard faggot and let her keep it. My mother is a professor and kept her name because she had already published a bunch of stuff when she married my dad. They're still happily married

>>135014291
get hyphenated
have her produce many white children
secure good paying job to support white children
have her killed
legally change last name only to yours before oldest one is grown enough to question it

>>135014291
Fake and gay. Why is /pol/ the most gullible board on 4chan?

Oh wait, its because it's a containment board full of retards

I refuse to any guy's name when I get married because I'm no cuckquean.

My wife almost kept her last name.
She asked my opinion.
I told her.
She took my last name.
You don't have to be an asshole about it, anon, but you will resent her if you don't let your true feelings be known.

>>135014291
She is your wife, she should take your name. Allow her to change her middle name at most, anything less is an insult to you. If everyone did the hyphenated last name you would have a stupid last name 20 hyphens long in a few generations.

Also make sure the kids aren't cucked out if your last name.

>>135021143
This.
If the name is an actual deal breaker for any man, you need to seriously reconsider if this insecure whiny boy is who you really wanna marry.

Not a troll post. Lot's to think about

>>135014291
She is testing your leadership, your masculine side, YOUR MANHOOD!

It actually should be the other way around and her bring it up that she will change her name.!!
You already failed but its fixable, just put your foot down RIGHT NOW, and if she does not agree, with the outmost respect tell her that its probably not going to work and should probably go different ways.

After reading everything so far this seems to be the most reasonable:
"You could allow her to practice under her maiden name. She must change her last name though."

I have to admit tho I have done something wrong because she had this idea to begin with.

im 32 shes 28
so no kids for 3-4 years
I would prob be the house husband as my income will normally be around 100-120k and hers 200k+. But I'm ok with that because I can be a father (best job) and still have space because her work schedule will be busy

Thank you

>>135019198
KEK

>>135015501

>being such an insecure faggot you can't deal with an educated woman
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Do you have a shitty last name? Like polish or german garbage?

>>135022702
>"You could allow her to practice under her maiden name. She must change her last name though."

Nigger you don't own her. That'll go over well, you telling her you MUST change her name. Fuck off, don't be such a retard.

>T. anon whose parents both kept their own names because who gives a shit

>>135014291
don't be a cuck. she has to take your name.

>>135014291
Ur a cuck
>>135014883
>>135015205
>>135015206
Ashamed you are my countrymen. Her refusal to take his last name is a sign of disrespect. She doesn't view him as a man, and is prob right because flag. OP should gtfo

>>135014291

Fuck the bitch. If she's problematic now she'll be worse when you get married.

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>>135014291
my second wife hyphenated her name, but i put my foot down when our son was born, he has my last name.

well didn't work out in the end, hope you have better luck than I good sir.

>>135014883
Shouldn't that be the same for you?

>>135015387
This. Ask her "Who's side are the kids on?" If she doesn't come around in a few days, cut your losses.

>>135022702
Lol classic eurocucks. Take her last name faggot

>>135014291
Have your kid keep the two names, doesn't matter. If you have a brother who's not gay, then take her maiden name.

>>135014291
>keep her old name
does she have any publications? it would be difficult to search for her after changing names so she should keep it if she already has official papers written. if not shes cucking you for no good reason n u should dump her fucking HARD. plenty of other doctor fish in the sea u hv no idea.

t. married a phd. md. mph. w.a.i.f.u.

>>135014291
Tell her, "ok, keep your name, we'll just cancel the wedding".

>>135014291
She does keep her maiden name. It just turns into her middle name.

>>135014291
No telling what bullshit you've taken from her if shes willing to go for keeping her maiden name.

If she wont take your name shes not worth it, I'd be surprised if she doesnt run all over you already.

>>135024618
> if not shes cucking you for no good reason n u should dump her fucking HARD
She's just repeating the consensus of her (((feminist))) friends. Show her the error of her ways and give her a chance to come around.

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Leave her, she does not have enough respect for you.
Let her divorce another man.

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>>135022702
You are 32
Why would you marry a women who is 28

She is drying up by the day
Have fun with your autistic children

>>135014291
My aunt and uncle did this when they got married (she kept her name). You know what happened 5 years later? They divorced.

OP you're being cucked. Put your foot down or jump ship.

>>135022702
What a faggot, enjoy your one autistic child

>>135024618
Indeed which is why the wife can still just use her old name for professional circumstances / publications, with an AKA. to her real (now changed) legal name, which will be his.

The whole point is to join together to one family. Females will self rationalise the romanticism in this, "oh I wouldn't mind being called Mrs x.." after a while, because if you're man enough, they desire to belong.

But of course for those with publications, using their maiden name as their professional name is reasonable.

Marriage is a willing contract between two people. No name change, no ring / contract.

If she brings up that it's old and not needed nowadays to change name well, that applies to marriage too heh.

>>135014291
If she's making all the money who gives a fuck. Milk it for all it's worth and never work another day in your life. Until she meets Nurse Chad, of course.

>>135014291

>has a phd

Doesn't matter, you're going to get cucked anyway.

OP, this is a sign of things to come. Get the fuck out now, or be miserable for the rest of your life.

>>135025179
This!
She's been in the commie school system her whole life and she's almost 30. There has been a lot of conversations about how the world actually works. Some topics like white-genocide, nature over nurture, and everyone is and should be a racist is still being debated. Her phd is in psychology and I'm an online faggot like the lot of you so wtf do I know.

>>135014291
She's far enough in her fields that it might be a practical matter. Let her use her name for professional purposes, no big. Ask her if she'd be OK officially taking your name legally but continue to be referred to by her old name while working.

There's also hyphenation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fL2R99G7kyE

So do the kids get two last names?
When the girls get married do they get three names?

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>>135026530
Your marriage will not work

She will begin to resent you over the next decade

You will lose your kids, house, dog, and money

She is the alpha of the relationship

She will walk all over you

You will lose

You have been warned

>t.reddit spacing

>>135014291
put your foot down or you'll be raising kids without your family name

>>135014291

I'm in a similar position. She's not keen on taking my last name mainly because it will sound fucking stupid because of the alliteration. I agree it sounds stupid but have told her she has to take my name when we get married, otherwise we dont get married.

Got to admit though, having second thoughts as if we double-barrled our surnames together it would sound kind of badass, but i dont want to feel like a modern, low test, beta male cuck.

Difficult position anon.

>>135026982

Kids will take my name. No debate around that.

She's done publications and I understand the significance which is why I allowed this to become a conversation to begin with.


>>135027328
you get me

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>>135014291
Double-barrel is fine but anything less just means you're a cuck. If your name isn't part of her's then you've failed.

>>135021143
>>135021754
t.roastie
you got time for shitposting at the brothel?

>>135014291
Ask her if she'd consider merging her last name, or you both take a different last name.

>>135014291
Put your foot down for sure, it is best she knows what a faggot you are not now so she can meet a nice guy.

>>135014883
Fpbp. Put your foot down OP. Told my wife she would take my name or no wedding.

>>135014291

That you even have to ask indicates your consummate cuckoldry. How about you man up and tell your woman how it is going to be? It sounds like she is wearing the pants in the relationship you low T faggot.

>>135020385
In my case my dad's brother had 6 or 7 kids, and they all have kids too.
So I'm good.

>>135014291
Letting her keep her name isn't cucked, it's certainly not alpha, but it isnt cucked
Just don't change your name, becoming a hyphenate is maximum cuckoldry

>>135014291
let her keep it. it's her dad's name.

>>135014291
Who cares. The only thing that matters is that you make kids.

>>135014291
when I got married, I didnt much care if my wife took my name, but I wanted my kids to have my last name.

no hyphenated bullshit last name, my last name.

So my wife took my name because she wanted her kids to have her last name as well.

>>135019700
It could backfire and she'll demand he change his name instead

compromise. have her change her middle name to her maiden name and take your last name.

>>135014291
She's a feminist, drop her like a rock.

>>135020385
same, but we have like 10 years to pump out a kid, maybe more. clock is really ticking harder for women

>>135018162
This is why Chad is fucking your girl you spineless faggot. You think women want a man who will easily give up his pride and be intimidated by his woman's status? Women want to be treated like women the way men want to be treated like men

>>135014291
>Bitches want marriage cuz tradition
>keeps maiden name

>both parents were adopted
>no specific knowledge of ancestry
>my last name is from father's adoptive father
I feel like I'm carrying something I'm not part of. One of the reasons I don't want kids

>>135014291
It's just an identifier. Who the fuck cares?

>>135017350
This leaf gets it. Who gives a fuck except for these anon virgin spergelords. You have got to pick your battles wisely, the kids are what is important.

>>135014291
She wants to keep her name because she's already published papers, and it's a pain in the ass as a researcher to change your name when citations are LastName, F.

It's not a feminism thing, it's a career thing. Let her keep her legal name and publish with it, and people can still call her Mrs. YourLastName