/CPD/ CHICAGO PD SCANNER THREAD

first

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drag racers WHEN

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in fo' Robert

2nd

>>134508684
or not xD

>>134508657
https://weather.com/weather/radar/interactive/l/USIL0225:1:US

Bad weather tonight, so good chance no racing.

>>134508567
i'm okay with this. i'm just in it for the audible adorability.

>too drunk
>TOO DRUNK
sounds like a good night, lad.

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>>134508729
so everyone in the ghetto is now drinking and/or doing drugs
surely none of them will get behind the wheel of a car

>>134508729
Actually, I'm kinda surprised at how active it is tonight due to all the thunder storms rolling through tonight.

what up robertos

>>134508837
Everyone's gone in to drink and od

>>134508825
male blacks are always responsible and moral members of society

i'm sure all crime reports will cease in a few minutes

>>134508846
>hit and run
Apparently hit and runs plus a suicide

>truck Vs tree ....again
>tree won....again.

>>134508490
is there a stream I cna plug into mpv or vlc?

>>134508974
wait I got it http://relay.broadcastify.com/il_chicago_police2.mp3?xan=66EDF62DE10EFA20FD7A644DED15C2CB

>>134508927
jeebus christ

>5 shots fired

>dispatch-chan will never say 10/4 to you cutely

it hurts

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>>134509178
The pain is real for almost all of us.

>>134509178
it hurts dont it

>>134508729
Looks like that storm will pass in about an hour.

>>134509178
There's obviously a need for cops in Chicago, get on it dude.

>>134509178
>>134509264
This pain is new....but it feels old

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First time on /cpd/, godspeed ROBERT COP

>>134509392
Or become a dispatcher. I hear they have a new vacancy.

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>Robert

>>134509264
>>134509279
it's like a gentle headpat for your ears.

>tree in the road?
>trees are not satisfied with winning confrontations against drunk drivers
>now they're making the first strike

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>>134509264
Why do you deus vult, robert?

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>Robert

>>134509392
but do I truly have what it takes to be a REAL ROBERT? this is not a mission to be taken lightly.

>>134509448
how common are male dispatchers?

>>134509392
Oh man I would except idk if I can keep up with Roberts ktd ratio

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>>134509694
If you possess the desire to purge Chiraq of the niggardry of MALE BLACK, then you possess the traits of ROBERT COP.

>>134509694
I hear CPD will cover your funeral 100%

>>134509793
desire to purge IS real. israel

>>134509694
More common in the private security sector on the lesser side of the 60/40 in medical. Very rare in public services since its an easy way for those groups to meet their gender diversity quota without exposing the women to any actual physical work or harm.

t. a Brinks guy

>gunshot wound to the left temple

F

Brit Robert, checking in.

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>>134509430

>>134510017
shit, I thought I misheard that

F

>>134509793
>>134509879
>>134509896
thank you for the information, Roberts. first Chicago, then the rest of the US. we will make the streets safe for all Roberts.

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>>134510050
THE FURNITURE OF LAW ENFORCEMENT

>>134509613
It's complex. Personal reasons mostly. I believe there are forces in the universe that are "good" and "evil". There's amazing evils and huge acts of love done every day. I honestly choose to accept that "light" or "good" in my life, choose to be a good person and overall help people.

oh snap, she 'bout to double-stack you, boi

>>134510213
good answer

>shots fired

>brandy vs. unknown male
TOP 10 ANIME FIGHTS

What are the odds the cops know about this thread

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SHOTS FIRED on Expressway!

>>134510043
Morning Robert! You're up early this morning.

>shooting on the expressway
>two victims

>one victim has been cut in the face

>two people shot at express way

>left child alone in stroller
Of fucking course

>male black, is high, left stroller unattended.
smdh

>>134510431
>black male, high

parenting, gentlemen

>captcha: spring playa

>stealing the copper

>>134510393

Shift starts in an hour. Getting some precious comfy time before then.

>>134510431
Where exactly?

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>>134510043
God speed English Robert.

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>>134508490
Evening Roberts. I have ventured long and far from the safety of my eastern whitetopia and and at this very moment in Chicongo, south side. I braved MALE BLACK, crossed a dark rail yard from the docks to pick up a deep dish. I must say, it was worth it!

>pic related
Taken from the ship I'm working aboard. Maybe another Robert can use for some aesthetic OC.

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Podesta the Mo'lesta

>>134510543
i see what ya did there

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>>134510390
>"I'll be back!"

>>134510604
You are a brave leaf. You do not shake in the wind.

>both female hispanics
>one shot in the head
>other shot in the leg

F

>one female shot in the head
F

>2 female hispanics in their 20s, one shot in the head and one in the leg

>>134510604
saved. its beautiful

>shot in the head

>shot in the head

F

>One shot in head, one in leg
>Currently no one is deceased
>currently
F

>>134510707
>>134510714
F

>"Ok so, lemme get ah, one shot in the leg, and uh..."
Are we ordering fast food?

>>134510604
Aesthetic as fuck. May you slip through the rake safely.

>>134510393
morning

>no one is deceased, correct?
>no answer

fuck, there aren't enough F's.

>female next door is hollering rape

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>>134510755
I'll have two number nines, a number nine large

>>134510780
Brain injury is scary. She might honestly be better off dead.

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>>134510714
>>134510708
>>134510707
No one deceased

>>134510508
Good plan. God speed and best of luck on that shift. :)

>>134510833
you gon get dis numbah 44 in yo head is whatchu gon get.

>>134510604
Will see what I can do with that tonight. Looks comfy.

4 monkeys outside of a church!!!!

>>134510707
>>134510730
>>134510727
>>134510747
F

>4 males arguing
>outside of a church
every day, we stray further from God

>four males agrusing outside of a church

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>>134510676
>>134510720
>>134510775
Ayy thanks Roberts. Here's another from the same day.

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>>134510868
should consider a euthenasia law allowing officers to double-tap

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sheeiiiit

Cermak and what?

>>134510604
>>134510994
>F L A T E A R T H

>>134511014
fucking kek. my brother is obesessed with D,D & D

this is exciting

>>134510994
this looks like the beginning of an early 90s cop/courtroom drama show.

>husband is trying to break in the back door (?)
>caller is in hallway with child

>battery in progress at a party, no further.

>BOTH ARE SHOT
RIP
F

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Hey Roberts, I was thinking, what are thoughts on a New Orleans Police Scanner thread tomorrow? I'm listening right now, and some madman just drove a car through a residential alleyway. It's pretty wild.

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>>134511092

>>134511092
Shhh...

>>134510604
>in Chicongo
>Leaf

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>>134511146
currently watching it on food network, love the weekend marathons. downloaded the first 14 seasons. 60 hours of gluttony
>>134511092
so close anon, yet so far

>>134511237
Las Vegas would be god damn interesting to listen to as well.

>>134511237
>>134511337

if there were only a way to get the entire state of Florida in on this. we're all mentally ill here.

>>134511237
Yeah listening right now.
No prints but a MacBook

>>134511337
Ooo, don't forget New York and parts of San Fransisco

>>134511416
Florida is a special kind of mentally ill.

whoa whoa, who's partying in the church? is that the same place where the 4 dudes were arguing?

>>134511487
True, Florida man is the BEST meme

>>134511476
Some of Sanfan would be interesting, not many shootings tho.

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Any Roberts fancy some Nutella crumpets?

>>134511521
the stories that come out from this place never fail to impress me. meth is a helluva drug.

>>134511578
Just had a peanut butter and honey sandwich, it was pretty good

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>>134511237
dunno, chicago is where its at. im biased of course cause im a lake county (847) robert. please, tell me more

>'husband' breaks in back door
>wife with child in room
sure he is

>>134511578
looks pretty fucked up robert

>>134511714
Someone also broken into a home in New Orleans, and I think someone stole a Macbook. Shit gets really weird at Mardi Gras

>>134511792
Crumpets aren't generally known for their aesthetics Robert

Well, G'night Roberts. It's been /comfy/, but I got stuff to do tomorrow, so I will check out for the night. Stay safe, and don't let the MALE BLACK break in and steal yo shit.

>>134511714
I'm sure you have some crazy stories. I gotta ask tho, what do you guys think of /cpd/? Does dispatch find it creepy we listen to them?

>>134511578
if crumpets exist, then do larger biscuits called "crumps" exist?

>I'M ASKING THE REAL QUESTIONS HERE

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>>134511921

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>>134511972
Can't crump the Trump

>female saying she needs police then hung up, no call back.

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Nightstalker from the other night

>>134511521
its something in the fucking water or some shit.
>spend 2 years out in florida
>grandparents only have one neighbor
>rest is just empty land
>guy and his family buy a chunk of land next to my grandparents
>couple months pass
>out of fucking nowhere guy starts shoveling out dirt and tries fencing away some of my grandparents land claiming its his and we stole it from him
>our other neighbor gets into a argument with new guy while defending my grandparents
>new guy chases at the old man with a bat and old man almost shot at him
>his family calls cops on him for shooting
>cops dont give a fuck because it was self defense
>new guy eventually puts house for sale and leaves

>>134511921
only if we start drawing anime fanart of dispatch-chan, her older and more grizzled dispatch comrade, and an army of numbered clone Roberts that keep the peace against the beastly forces of MALE BLACK.

>gangbangers making noise

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>>134512073
>calls back twice, no answer
what the fug

>>134512073
She's ded isn't she

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>>134511972
They're only referred to as giant crumpets. They missed the boat on that one.

>>134511972

>The term itself may refer to a crumpled or curled-up cake, or have Celtic origins relating to the Breton krampouezh/Cornish krampoeth[3] meaning a "thin, flat cake" and the Welsh crempog or crempot, a type of pancake.[4]

>>134512145
there's money to be made, then. you can pioneer the crump, Robert.

>1999 listeners
ALMOST
Also why are so many people listening? Are they all here, or are there hidden Roberts monitoring the stream?

>>134512097
fuck bucktown and fuck all the hipster fucks that are moving into logan square.

All the nice ma and pa grocery stores and hole in the wall resturants are getting replaced with overpriced garbage

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>>134512108
They must not understand the internet very well then.

MORSE CODE WHAT'S HAPPENING

>>134512306

this hobby is larger than /pol/, believe it or not.

>huge house party

>>134512306
There's supposed to be a happening tonight in Chiraq. Probably a bunch of journalists listening in.

>huge house party
>drinking outside in front
>black bmw parked on hydrant (i guess the hydrant won)

>>134511921
well, i live on the north shore, and the cultural enrichment here comes from waukegan. someone found a male black in their living room a couple weeks ago.. but thats unusual.. i live in a mostly white neighborhood.

>>134512455

nope, you are a faggot.

chicago scanner hits 2000 listeners every night.

>>134512455
Really? Where did you hear that?

>>134512455
2,000 doesn't seem like any more than a usual Friday night.

>>134512477
Totally don't blame you for not living in the Congo. >>134512306
4th of july had close to 4,000 almost all day if i recall

>>134512455
Its a stormy friday night and there has been flooding in neighboring counties so im p sure it doesnt have much to do with crime outside of it being friday

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Dispatch-chan getting sassy tonight

>>134512615
i was tuned in on the 4th, rejoicing the fact that i'm a safe distance away

>>134512352
well, this isn't anime-style, which makes it less creepy. strange how that works.

just wait til my cpd fanfiction gets done, guys, it's gonna be the bestest and they're gonna make an animu about it and i'm gonna be the most famous guy in all of japanland

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Checking out Roberts. Stay safe.

>>134512743
>just wait til my cpd fanfiction gets done
>https://pastebin.com/bSryX4qJ
You're new huh?

>>134512743
btw, who's oc is the dispatch with the cig?

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>>134508490

>When gun control goes terribly wrong.

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>med exam name
> time for body removal

>>134512819
this is not pure animu with kawaii waifus! Grorious Nippon will not accept this! Mine's gonna have laser beams and super robots and ancient spirits possessing firearms!

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Dispute with customer in blue SUV at McDick's

F-off Adam... dees Robert hours...

>female yelling "help me" in the park

>body removal

>female yelling for help in the park
I'm sure she's just peachy. she lives in such a safe place!

>>134513062
>tfw there could have been a burger king highlight the other day but i bought the aggressor a burger so he could leave the poor fucking cashier alone

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>>134513025
>Not even mentioning moe factor
Dude what are you even doing??

That female still shouting for help.

>>134513116
>HELP ME
>HELP ME
>lol disregard lmao
f

>knife fight

>>134513116
>Disregard
Welp, she's getting enriched.

>they have knives

>transfer report complete

>>134513289
F

>>134513204
oh please, moe factor is automatically included within "kawaii waifus". don't you try and bring me down, KEVIN. I KNOW IT'S YOU, ALWAYS BOTHERING ME ON MY DEVIANTART. QUIT STEALING MY CHARACTERS!

>>134512308
One of my observations is that the people who are gentrifying are bringing all their bourgeois strip mall bullshit with them to the city so that the city is becoming the suburbs and all of those mom and pop restaurants and groceries are moving out so that the suburbs are becoming the city.

>Hispanics pulling the ol' dine and dash

>two females and four male hispanics ate without paying, surgio is saying they left in minivan

>>134513349
First time listening to the scanner. What does that mean?

>>134513367
say goodnight kevin

>the son and other children are trying to jump him

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>>134513261
>Artist depiction of the altercation.

>spics dine-n-dash

>>134513452
It's the process to move a body, normally of a homicide.

>>134513384
Thats basically whats happening except the whole retardation that comes with it is alot of industry is moving out to the burbs because property price in the city keeps going up.

>>134512813
cya brit-robert!

>>134513466
I'M NOT KEVIN, YOUR KEVIN. STOP BULLYING ME.

>holy shit, is that a pursuit

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That background wooping though
and that bg laughter...

>southbound on harlem

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>>134513367
First my mom forgets my pepperoni hot pockets and now this. Just ship my shit up senpai.

>>134513523
Oh shit.
F

>>134513552
kek

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>They have a robbery
You mean a ROBERTRY

>so are you following them or did you lose them
>we're circling back to find the complainant
>they lost them, over

older dispatch lady bringing the banter

>unknown male banging on the door
f

>vehicle registration expire in 2013

>locked herself in the restroom to get away from drunk male black

pray for her, gents

>>134513838
damn son

>shots fired, sounded like it came from machine gun.
.....wut?

>shots fired
>sounds like a machine gun

>shots fired
>machine gun
F

>MACHINE GUN

what the fuck, guys, I don't wanna play anymore

>shots fired machine gun
Prey for robert pls

>>134513935
time to tap out

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shots fired
Machine gun

>drunks playing with the revolving door

6 intoxicated people playing with spinning door

>>134513974
This is some of the realest Robert shit.

>people playing with revolving doors
and then we get back to stuff like this, lol

>playing with revolving doors and spilling drinks all over lobby

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>drunk people playing with revolving doors
Jesus fuck

>>134514026
Kek

did anyone hear a guy start to yell just then

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>>134513936
It's ok. Robert is eternal.

lmao.
>we need fingerprints pulled
>is it in the rain?
>we can't pull finger prints off wet surfaces.
come on Robert

>>134514074
>>134514026
sounds like fun desu

>>134514472
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kevi5H03x0U

>2 Trucks attempting to tow a vehicle.
>Black male offender with a gun following them on foot.

>>134514949
>today I will remind them

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>my computer's kinda screwed up
>aren't they all?

These poor elderly people just want to sleep. Why can't they leave them alone?

>two males walking up and down the street taking pictures

>Making a delivery
>Leaves keys in the vehicle
>Car is stolen

>>134515302
>they say that's weird for this time of night

>group in the alley being loud
>drinking and urinating

>Car broke down
>People looking inside
Oh my

>>134515399
that is a total sweet white housewife thing to say, too.

>well, I saw the two guys taking pictures and, you know, I didn't want to intrude on you guys or anything, but I just thought it was sorta strange. Oh, but maybe you shouldn't come, I'd hate for them to be inconvenienced, don'tcha know?

>car breaks down
>people walking up and peeking inside
enrichment immanent

>a bloody nose

oh SHITJUST GOT REAL NOW

>skinny male black with a bloody nose and pink hat

what's with the morse code

>>134515683
Nigga gai

>>134515781
it is how the robot Roberts communicate to organize their street-by-street purges.

>can't pronounce the owner's name
Sha'qwuan'aire

>>134510604
Naval vessel or commercial?

>>134513384

Name an overpriced joint

>>134515846
did you just put a hex on me

>making threats against CTA personnel because he has a headache

>>134515936
Kek. She was so confused.

>man wants to die and be with his mom. She died on sunday.

>wants to join mom
so sad

Going to be with mom

>man wants to die
>wants to be with his mom who died on sunday
>he wants to go be with her

fuck man, these feels...

>>134516044
Muh feels

>>134516044
doubles of saddness...

rip in peace that guy's mom.

>>134512352
Dispatchers may wear uniforms at CPD, but not sexy stewardess-type as in your illustration. Many civilian police employees (non-sworn LEOs) wear polo shirts, with skirts or slacks...

male Asian has returned!

>guy drank too much and is now laying in a tunnel

>>134516306
I think they dispatched someone trained in suicide prevention. Hopefully he gets help.

>>134510211
holy shit C3PO-1000

have a good night, Roberts. i'm clocking out.

>>134517116
Night robert

Well armed huh. Ak47s and dracos kek

I'm out too. Highlight of the night was the machine gun.

>attempting suicide outside the bar

>Man breaks up with a woman.
>Landlord changes the key lock
>Possible grand daughter break up
haha

>when you're gf's mom kicks you out of the rental because she's the land lord and you broke up with her daughter

NIGGER DOWN AT MICKY D'S
WHERE MY BIG MAC AT YO

>woman threatening to kill herself
>last seen in a green lexus near the lakefront

Damn it is a suicidy night tonight.

Let it begin

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>>134508657
yeah dude, its fucking raining here.

>>134511335
are you implying a flat earth?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgY8zNZ35uw&list=PLmWeueTF8l82GItQhl7vTP_WM43B4ebNq

alright, gn fagets
OP should add that link I posted earlier to the OP

>caller heard several shots

>joe is being harassed by the K9 officer

>>134515916
no that's his girlfriend's name

test