If you had a time machine, what would you do?

>>134457194
kill hitler

>>134457282
oh wait lol

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become a doctor and do a home invasion of my parents house while my mother is pregnant and kill myself as a fetus as a doctor home robber

go back and teach the dinosaurs about jesus so that they will go to heaven when they get hit with the asteroid so that when i go to heaven i can be a raptor jockey

>>134457194
kill winston churchill

>>134457282
this but unironically

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>>134457194
>teleport into this precise moment, longitude, latitude and height in space/time
>camera man's body erupts with the force of me entering the space he previously occupied
>blood, guts, sinew, bone pieces flechette the room
>I stand naked, covered in blood before the Fuhrer
>I don't speak German, so I scream the only thing Hitler would understand
>"DAS JUDEN!!!"

Tell my parents to use a condom.

>>134457194
Help Hitler win now that I know what happends

>>134457194
Vikings with motorboats and machine-guns.

>>134457514
kill your dad, live the oedipal fantasy

>>134457405
Don't know what I was expecting, but this is most certainly better than any of that

>>134457450
BASEDDD! Hitler was so evil! Right guys?!

>>134457194
i would kill constantine in battle with a ak 47. according to legend he will have a cross on his shield . your god isnt superior to mine

christianity fails to ever take root. jews are wiped out. paganism persist to this day in europe. no possible way to try to promote any sense of unity that undermines the west through religion based on belief in a singular god

>>134457194
Go back to 1913 and stop this madness at the source

>>134457194
Tell Hitler to attack after winter was over

>>134457194
Go back and not drop out of college.
Also save Hitler

>>134457194
save the west

>>134457194

lord over time and space for all eternity

Destroy Bill Clinton's political career by exposing his crimes early, before they snowballed into sacrosanct political success

Can someone tell me why there are flags missing on posts?

>>134457194
Kill Adam and rape Eve.

>>134457194
I know what you would do, Jeff

>>134458077
phonefagging?

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>>134457194
Probably give them the blueprints to an atomic weapon for only if they go into hiding pretending to lose the war until the late 2010's, hit Chicago, Detroit, LA, Seattle. Portland, Philly, San Francisco, Basically all of Africa, Mexico, and Middle East.

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Changed Lee's mind at Gettysburg about Pickett's Charge.

go back in time and murder ivan the ruthless, and his heir

i'd eat some vintage poosi

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>>134457880
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)

>>134458306
no, using a browser w/ appchan x

Kill mohammeds mother while she was pregnant with him, then show some early crusaders how to use a nuke

Create Google

You'd probably die of illness pretty fast if you go back much farther than your own lifetime

I'd go back in time and kill Roosevelt, Churchill, and anyone else who got in the way of Hitler winning WW2. I'd kill that one British electronic warfare scientist and make sure that the German bombing raids of London go off flawlessly, obliterating the damn city before raar countermeasures could be employed to stop the Germans.

>>134457194
Make the Rothschilds poor. Control the world and try to rid the world of jewery.

1) Kill Mohamed
2) Make very wise investments in $AMZN and then BTC

>>134457194

Nothing, the moment is more important.

>>134458955
Not sure why then. I use Clover on mobile and the meme flags don't show up.

>>134457194
fuck hitler

>>134459123
now thats what i call edge

>>134457194
Go back and meet Cleopatra, so i could get a chance at that ass

Kill LBJ and everyone involved with the 1965 Immigration Act before it can be drafted.

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>>134459356

But which Cleopatra? :^)

>>134458985
There would have been no need for the Crusades if Muhammad and the Islam never existed.

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>>134457194
I'd go back to my most recent ex and tell myself to get off the anti-depressant medicine, stop being so clingy, and not blow up her phone so much when she decided to dump my ass.

It hurts bros.

>>134459297
How is that edgy? It's just practical you fuck.

>>134459146
>kill Mohammed
Forgot your kekistan I flag

>>134459550

You had to learn, anon.

Don't take it for granted next time.

>>134457194
make sure crimea stays in ukraine

>>134457883
maybe he means kill Hitler so that America and Europe stay white , because the Jews wouldn't punish us for something that didn't happen

>>134457194
Travel back to Nazi-era Germany and give them my time machine technology :^)

>>134457194
Make sure my parents never meet and as a result I am never born.

>>134457194
kill Marx

Sink the slave ships

>>134459832
cute :3

>>134457194
Promote fascism in France in the 30s

>>134459873
Our extinction was always the plan
Peace was never an option

>>134457194
Go back to 1920 and live happily for 20 years, Then kill myself.

>>134457194

Headsnipe every slave trader-exporter for the past four centuries

Eradicate the earliest Arab cultures so that Mohammed and his ilk never come into being.

Teach scientific breakthrough upon scientific breakthrough to both Rome and Byzantium, beginning pre-1054, on the principle that science brings men closer to God.

(Not pol-approved...)
Once Rome and Byzantium are global superpowers, teach "some" scientific advancements to the largest, smartest African tribe such that these Africans can adequately sustain themselves and defend themselves. Belligerent tribes will be annihilated by challenging the one supreme tribe. Thus, an African empire will continue to the present day and will currently condemn slavery and slave-trading.

Economic refugees will go to the empire for aid.

Muslim refugees will be non-existent.

>>134457194

Show the Russians, English, Europeans, Americans and Canadians the future that awaits them, while they still had the culture and strength to stop it.

i would have an excellent adventure

>>134457194
Murder fdr, fly to Germany and defend the Reich to the end.

I would only use my time machine to correct the time lines that all the other time machine idiots keep messing with. Changing time lines you better be fucking sure you don't make things worse. Only way to be sure of that is to be able to see all the possible time lines. You don't mess with time based around ideology. You just make sure the minimum number of people die.

>>134457194
Make sure rome never adopts christianity and wipes out the jews
Kill mohammed
Kill Genghis Khan
Retarded religious dark ages never happen, we space imperium now

>>134457194
I'd go see who killed JFK fa sho

>>134457194
Kill Abraham to prevent the jew fairy tales from coming into existence. Those fairy tales of them being the chosen ones have stopped their extermination by brainwashed idiots.

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Go back in time to aid hitler and convince him of what was to come.I would also bring back weapon schematics if I could.If not.I would tell him not to war with russia and if negotiations broke with america,then I would tell him about D-day.

>>134457194
go back to 07/21/17(Fri)12:21:17 and kill op

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>>134459873
>because the Jews wouldn't punish us for something that didn't happen

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>>134460822

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I would save her...

>>134457194
Tell Hitla all of his mistakes that cost him the war and then watch the Nazis win as I laugh my ass off and think about how I will never have to watch some crying Spielberg Hollywood movie about how Germans were such mean devils.

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>>134457194
Duh
>pic related

>>134457194
go back and tell my fatass to put the fucking fork down.

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>>134462167

>go forward in time 20 years
>go to sex robot factory
>implant time machine technology into the sexbots, that is activated by thrusting... then nick about 5000 of them
>go back in time to present day, with the sexbots
>find out address of 5000 4chan neckbeards
>give them a sexbot each
>not tell them about timetravel tech housed in the sexbots

>go forward in time 5 years , watch anime hitler robots fighting 30' frogs in space whilst having a hearty kek

>>134461349
why would you waste your time on Oswald

>>134457194
go back and give hitler the nuke and convince him that africa and the middle east were the real menace to the white race. if we destroy them, the merchant has no leverage.

kill stalin in November 1941. during a meeting with his high up comrades, kill them too.
USSR in disarray.
Go to meet Julius in Rome. Show him some primitive steam machines, show him an AK-47 then show him smartphone.

>>134457194
Assassinate John Locke and the other ideologues of the "enlightenment".

>>134457194
I'd give the formula of the atom bomb to the Nazis.

>>134457282
>>134457194
warn hitler

Fuck my MoM

>>134457194
Take machine guns to the Second Battle of Tarain (1192 AD)

Kill mohammed Ghori, and push back the fucking pisslamic fuckers.

Save the Aryan Vedas in all their glory and make a unified India a Nuclear superpower by 1550.

>>134457194
Introduce the scientific method, gunpowder, the printing press, stainless steel, germ theory, antibiotics, and vaccinations to the Roman Empire at it's peak.

>>134462572
of what?

He would have still made dumb fuck decisions
>hurr durr lets invade the Slavic undead hoards because lmao snow

>>134457194
Tell to spaniard conquistadors don't mixed with indigenous people.

>>134463033
> at it's peak

So by the time they are implemented the empire is heading downhill.

Nah, do it in around 50BC

>>134457194
Win the lottery

there is no other right answer

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>>134457194
Kill Eve, then spend eternity playing rummy with Adam and the Snake.

Serious answer? I'd probably skip through history, filming the most famous battles. Cannae and Stalingrad would be a hell of a thing to see in person.

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Go back to the 90's and play the tech market.

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>>134463336
nigger

>>134463441
why are her pupils so fucking large

>>134463296
Good call.

SPY puts in 2008

>>134462782
You don't need a time machine for that

It is never too late pooanon

>>134457194
buy amazon ipo

>>134463705
That happens when you turn a woman on.

Tell Rameses about the lamb's blood

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>>134457194

>>134458609
I like it. But South still would have lost. It was inevitable.

>>134463941
>>134463705
bingo

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Load up on this.

>>134459550
I'm with you anon, with scary similarity

It gets better though

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>>134464131
Same here

KEK

>>134457194
Kill Otto von Bismarck

>>134457382
Or how about you just find out when you were conceived and slip a morning after pill in her brekkie?

>>134463705
Could be a number of things.
Loss of oxygen, Belladonna drops, or perhaps arousal. I doubt the latter

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>>134457194
Go back in time and rape myself. Then use the "trauma" and "psychological damage" to win a big settlement against my (future) self, and use it as capital to start my media empire. I'd have some tough shit to deal with in the future though.

>>134457194
I'd kill Hitler and Stalin

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>>134457194
Break your keyboard before you wrote this post.

>>134457194
Kill Abraham Lincoln.

>>134465447
No need.

Just kill Churchill. No WW1, so no WW1.

>>134457194
kill marx

Google and save all of the jew names from:

NASA
Soviet Space Program
Northrop Grumman
Boeing
Lockheed Martin

Tell Hitler to find these people and make sure the allies don't get to them. Download all of the wiki I can on Nuclear Physics and other things that will help Hitler obtain a nuclear bomb. Make damn sure that before all of this kicks off to secure fucking Einstein.

Come back to glorious non-cucked Germany.

>>134465721
*WW2, obviously.

I'd impersonate Satan, and get my followers to mutilate their children on vague promises of ruling the world, and/or becoming like God one day.

>>134457316
Gott verdammter Verräter!!!

>>134465721
Churchill didn't start WW1. That was a filthy serb.

>>134457194
rape, reset, repeat

treat her better

;_;

>>134466393
You can just go to Comet pizza if you want to do that. You can get a new pizza each time.

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>>134466471

I'd go back to 1600's England, organize a group that will later expand to an army of dedicated abolitionist with ethnic nationalist attitudes. I'd then tell them of the adverse effects of the kike and muslim run African slave trade being brought to the colonies and becoming common place in the empire. I'd get to the point in time just before it started to get popular. I'd preach the long term shitty effects it will have what with when slavery eventually is abolished they will get a chip on their shoulder and have a "we wuzslaves n shyett, gibs me dats" attitude (*of course not explained in those terms*) That way Americans won;['t be so easily guilt tripped into supporting the 1965 immigration act, plus they would know the popular opinion from imperial times to the post American Revolution times the attitude all over the Angloshpere would be that slavery sucks and bringing mass amounts of third worlders into your nation for any reason is stupid as bad things are bound to happen. Even though I'm not English, I can fake the fuck out of being remotely British.
>blonde hair
>stormy blue-gay eyes
>skin that turns pink or red when flush or hot
Being of both German and Irish diaspora decent you might wonder why I don't try to stop the mistreatment of the Irish. Because in the long run, it only made them stronger. I might encourage some anti- treaty sentiment in the early 1900's though. As for the Germans? I'd help them by ruthlessly bringing Mosley to power in Britain while at the same time make sure they allow the Irish all of their counties.
>Make the argument that it's not worth the years of political struggle for a minuscule part of Ireland
All those things are a great recipe for a whiter present in the classically define :"Western Civilization"

>>134466681
kill me

>>134457194
Bet on the red sox winning, bet on the cubbies winning, and bet on Trump winning.

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>>134457194

Time Travel(which only allows you to go back to the Past) doesn't allow you to return to the Original Timeline you left.

[Made a thread on this a while ago: http://archive.4plebs.org/_/search/subject/knowledge%20bomb/username/anonymous5/tripcode/%21%219O2tecpDHQ6/]

Any changes in the Past, will create a New Timeline that you would return to.

Time Travel operations are part of BBP(Black Budget Programs).

>>134468501
can you do a knowledge bomb on how there is no such thing as angels and that the angel of death in the biblical story of exodus is in fact moses. the jews killed the first born sons.

>>134457194
Go back in time and tell Hitler and the Nazis what becomes of Germany and rest of Europe if they lose
>>134457282
t. hans oster
>>134463162
>hurr durr lets invade the Slavic undead hoards because lmao snow
it was more like lets invade the Slavic-Asiatic undead hoards because lmao muh judeo-bolsheviks

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Film a whole lot of shit from Hiroshima and Nagasaki to the eruption of Vesuvious to Martel's defense of Europe to Thermopylae. Then probably go full Genghis.

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>return all the way to the garden of eden
>tell adán that his rib is more important than a wet hole that talks all day doesn't get shit done and it's as bad as a snake
>grab the fucking snake and make a belt out of it
>return
>a functional society of male that had developed waifu-robotics
>no niggers
>no jews
>PARADISE

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>>134462167
and stain her mountaintops

>>134457194
I would go back in time to september 11th, rush in a race against time to the boston airport, stop the hijackers in their tracks and tell them to fly even lower into the building so more people get trapped

>>134457927
Western education yall...

>>134463162
this. hitler was a demagogue nothing more. his own party made numerous attempts to assassinate him since they knew he was a liability.

>>134460756
>Implying what you said about Africa hasn't happened?
>Implying it wasnt the Bantu who sold everyone else into slavery, while taking over 95% of africa.
>implying they used that position of power to make themselves better humans

>>134457194
Harry Potter and the sex change

>>134457194
Take a video of now and show it to Hitler.
>Germany
>Sweden
>England
>America
>Denmark
>Norway
>France
Show him the fall of the Germanic world if he fails in his task.
I'd take out Mohammed, or make it so that it is non-halal to have more than 2 children.
I'd go forward in time and see the ramifications of my actions.
>possibly go sideways to see what happens if they don't listen to me

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>>134457194
Your mom...son

Buy bitcoins
Truck loads of bit coins

>>134457778
Saxons with M16s and Blackhawks

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I'd order mass eugenics on the entire African population. Then I'd kill Muhammad and whoever created Judaism. And then finally, I'd secure the victory of the Axis powers.

>>134475777
>Tfw the Lord himself realised Abraham was a mistake...

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>>134457194
>Call in a spooky to Buckingham Palace during the year of our Lord 1814

>>134459550
You're clingy because your brain doesn't have enough serotonin. How the fuck is getting off the meds going to improve that?

kill the first rothschild
tell jfk not to take that car ride

>>134458132
very Islamic of you

>>134457939
Yes. Prevent WW1 and the old order can live on for a little longer.

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Prevent WW1 or help the Germans win WW1.

>>134457194
kill mahomet when he was a child

>>134457194
stop womens rights

>>134457927
>he thinks that killing Constantine would wipe out christianity
The only thing it would do is delay the Christian uprising by a couple decades. Constantine didn't just magically convert he and the rest of Rome to christianity: paganism was on the decline, and people were wanting something new. I doubt any of Romes leadership and elite sincerely cared about Paganism at that point, or else they would have prevented Constantine from making the shift. People always forget that the Roman Emperors had to be reasonable with the wishes of the senate and other governing bodies/families of Rome.

Kill Mohammad's mother before she gave birth.

Help Hitler finish the job.

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>>134463249
>Be conquistador on an expedition for King and Country.
>We've survived the whimsical mistress that is the sea in a difficult journey which has cost the lives of many good Spaniards.
>We finally see Land. Our bravos are ready to explore and conquer these new lands in the name of our Lord.
>We do not know yet of the dangers and adventures that await us out there, but we are fearless warriors, God is on our side and...
>Suddenly, the shrubs behind me rustle.
>We're shitting ourselves. What kind of beast or unholy demon are we about to face?
>It's a brown manlet dressing funny, flaying his arms like possessed by Beelzebú as he yells: "No se lleven el oro! No se follen a las indias!"
>Suddenly a shot is heard, and the guy falls before he can reach us.
>The fuck did just happen?
>El Capitán looks pissed.
>"Rediez, Fernandez Martínez Garrido de las Casas de León de Medinaceli! Why the fuck did you shoot that strange man in the face?"
>Fernandez looks around, lowers his smoking weapon and mutters:
>"Por... por Dios y por la patria?"
>El capitán nods, and so do all the other men, looking at each other.
>We proceed our march, pillaging all the gold and taking beautiful brown women for ourselves in every different town we come across. No other native seems to speak our language.
> We've decided to call this place las Indias, as it was the name that odd looking guy yelled."

undo every wrong I have ever done
not hurt people I love
talk less
listen more
dance in puddles in the rain
take naps under trees
play with all the great dogs I have had
un-invent computers

make my mom abort me

>>134457194
Kill Yakub before he creates Tricknology and the cave ape.

>>134457194
Push your mother down the stairs when she was pregnant with you.

>>134458609
Better yet, make sure the Yanks never find Lee's secret order wrapped around cigars and prevent Antietam from blocking Lee's northern invasion

>>134459873
They still do though.

>>134457282
This. I'd kill Hitler.

I'd kill him in 1940 after he's already served his purpose of creating Nazi Germany and starting the war, but before he went batshit insane and betrayed the Soviets while the Brits were still in the fight.

Save Abraham Lincoln. Honesty Abe shouldn't have gone out like that

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>>134457194

Roll FDR down a flight of stairs in his wheelchair.

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>>134457282

Fucking this, he literally singlehandedly killed white nationalism. I'd bash his fucking skull in and feed him to pigs.

>>134464893
That would not work if you were born because of an hormomal disbalance that voided the effect of those pills.

t. me

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>>134457194

Prevent the time machine from being invented and make the universe shit itself to death in the resulting paradox.

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>>134483798

you bitch!

>>134457194
Convince Hitler to do the holocaust

>>134457194
>mfw I know a girl who looks almost exactly like that and is a virgin
Should I wife her?

>>134460232
this, a thousand times

Prevent the Romans from being ambushed in the Teutoburg Forest.

And then convince them to conquer the germanic area till the Oder, and the area that's now the Jutland area of Denmark.

>>134457194
Kill Abraham as a child.

>>134457194
I'd return to Feudal England with firearms, the means to make more and the means to produce ammunition, a stack of history books, a laptop and a hand-powered generator for charging.
I'd then use my available knowledge of historical figures of the age and my superior firepower to rise to defacto ruler of the nation, conquer the rest of Europe then lead a holy crusade to wipe nonwhites from the face of the earth.

Would be a laugh.

>>134457194
Tbh try and stop the middle east from being broken up into spheres of influence and just telling the British or the Americans to colonize it. Also find a way to annex Cuba.

>>134457194
Also find some way to get WW1 artillery guns on the walls of Constantinople to stop Muslim hordes from taking hold.

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>>134457442
seriously underrated post

>>134459550
getting off your meds is the worst idea. YOu gotta get yourself straightened out though bro it does get better over time. Good luck anon.

>>134457194
KIll Marx and his gay lover Engels

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>>134457194
Go visit my ancestors and fight the fucking roaches.
Then I'd pay Berlin a visit.

>>134457194
Give Hitler Copies of WW2 documentaries from the History Channel.

He would have won the war and we wouldn't be living in Hell right now.

>>134459832
Crimea is Russian stupid Ukrop

Fuck Audrey Hepburn

>>134487238
>not Grace Kelly

>>134484811


Don't, your kids will inherit dark hair and dark eye genes. I know many irish-italians who look tanned as fuck.

>>134485109
It would certainly be a laugh.

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>>134487304
Nope

>>134457194
Bring back videos of Blacked.com to show the founding fathers, getting them to abolish slavery early.

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>>134488015
Zero class.

>>134457282
This. Although I would be worried about the grandfather paradox

>>134457194
Play the great depression. I'd own everything by the time WW2 breaks out

>>134457194
Gather 1,000 of myself from different times and teach them to become a megazord.

>>134457194
Kill Jeff Magnum.

Go back in time and kill yourself, therefore causing a paradox

Lead a mass execution of jews during the roman dominion of judea

>>134488491
Or go back further and ensure that Andrew Jackson's plan to kill central banking was successful. Kill William Henry Harrison before he can win the presidency.

>>134488522
Then make 1 trillion self-megazords to take on the sun.

>>134489110
1 trillion ME-gazords

>>134457194
go back in time and fuck dinosaurs. (lol)

>>134457194
I would fuck OP's mom one more time before I found out she was pregnant with OP.

>>134488996
How can one man be so based ?

>>134488996
>448899
Tripz doobz confirm this (As satire).

>>134483599
the soviets were going to betray the German first.

>>134459125
Become the Jew

>>134459832
My ancestors were all born in Ukraine, my dad fled in 94. Why does every Ukrainian poster here make me ashamed of my people? Fucking retard hohol

>>134457194
make sure women didn't get the right to vote

>>134463705
>t. virgin

>>134457194
Kill baby A.Lincoln and then, send all the blacks back to Africa before they learn to race-bait.

Become Biff from back to the future.

>>134457194
go to the future where chinese have exterminated all the shitskins and control the earth and try to survive

>>134457194
Kill Churchill. Maybe Stalin too. Also give the axis modern military tech. Id be looking if there are real concentration camp ,if there are use my power ro deport them as fast as possible (just so their whining cant be so effective)


Also to add the axis werent perfect ,but honestly if we see what happened to the west it all boils down to this point. The wrong side won the war. Doenst mean the axis was just in every way

fuck the everliving shit out of natalie wood

>>134457282

Save Hitler.

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>>134492484
>>134463705
>>134463941
>>134465203

>>134457194
>Kill Marx
>Kill Muhammad
>Kill Jesus

>>134494532

I mean i'd do it modern porno style with elaborate moves like pile drivers and putting my balls in her mouth and slapping them through her cheek, 69 analingus, that sort of thing.

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>>134457194

Give Hitler all my books.

>>134457988
>attacking Russia during the spring muds of 1942
>not just telling Hitler's to continue the drive on Moscow and sever the railroad hub for the whole Soviet Union
>not telling hitler to listen to Manstein and Guderian

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>>134457442
literally the only correct answer in the whole fucking thread jesus christ /pol/ is a shitshow now

The 90s and money.

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>>134457194

>>134457194
Kill Adam and fuck eva

>>134460822
Bogus journey.

>>134457194
Kill Mohammad

>>134457194
1 thing, make sure that Brits could not have escaped Dunkirk

>>134457194
I find you and kill you for posting this shit thread every day, you fucking kike.

>>134457194
Why I'd jizz in the primordial ooze, of course.
What's with all the small dreamers ITT?
>>134457405
You're cool though

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>>134457194
Rape Anne Frank, and give away her location afterwards.

>>134494660

Just kill Jesus.

Marx and Mohammad only existed because they were kikes who wanted to destroy Christendom out of jealousy.

>>134457194
breed with her over and over

I would travel to the future and reprimand the time traveller who I noticed observing me when I was ~7. Very sloppy and dangerous.