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Archangel Uriel
The Truth of the Human Race.. 2017-07-20 05:04:25 Post No. 134276384
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The Truth of the Human Race.. 2017-07-20 05:04:25 Post No. 134276384
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In the year ~745 /anno domini/, Pope Zachary initiated the largest act of censorship the world has ever known. He removed the name and parables of Archangel Uriel from all canonical Christian literature and left Gabriel, Michael, and Raphael licit. But why go through all the trouble to wipe just one name from text for all time? Why erase /this/ name?
Let me tell you the ONE story the Christian Church, and the entire world, has tried to prevent going out to the public for millennia....
As I watched Adam and Eve converse with the serpent that was the devil, that's when my faith in humanity was lost entirely. Lucifer was a powerless garden snake and Adam and Eve still lacked self awareness. I could end it all here with one swing of my flaming sword. The Devil and Mankind would both be destroyed in one swoop, but as I grasped the handle of my blade, my vision faded to white....
I was with God now, my consciousness detached from my physical form, and he said
"Uriel, don't do this. Not yet."
My eyes were bloodshot and unblinking with unfathomable anger, my teeth gritted so hard hairline cracks formed on them. These innocent creatures (the precursor to all humanity) were going to completely sell themselves out to Satan. But I knew better than to resist the will of the creator, so with a heavy sigh I regained my composure and dropped my dominant hand from my sword. I only had one word to bequeath before my creator..
"Why?"
"Because, Uriel, they are my finest creations! Because the /are/ flawed, susceptible, and capable of sin they are immaculate! They are endowed with free will as I! They have choice! They can walk any path they choose for and by themselves! They can /choose/ to live lives of heretic or saint! Vile or pure! Selfish or selfless! Uriel, my sweet child, you mustn't let your instinct get the better of you! These great beings souls can reside in heaven or hell whilst upon the Earth! They can bequeath /both/ domains upon it!"
To be cont....
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Hurry the fuck up OP
or just link wherever you copied this from
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bumpo
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>>134276384
Link me bitch..
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Hurry. Or link. Either way
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>>134276384
Jesus Christ how long does it take? Are you typing all of this out?
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>>134276384
"Oh Uriel! How broken you must feel having to gaze upon beings capable of such unfathomable cruelties! But you must understand, that these beings are my finest creations! Uriel, these beings are the purest extensions of me! And I will conceive my very child in the womb of man!"
I got my knees before The Creator and cried in the lowliest sob of regret.."Oh greatest God! Please forgive me for my foul murderous intent! For when my eyes gaze upon those who seek destruction I am filled with the greatest of contempts! They were conversing with Lucifer! I could not bear such innocence to be let astray by his foul tongue! Oh lord how I weepeth in complete regret of my actions! Oh, I not wish for forgiveness from thee, but demand the harshest of retributions for even the thought of smiting thines finest work!"
I laid and I cried, cried, and cried. I felt like Lucifer, a rebel, against the creators will...
"Rise....Uriel. For your reaction is completely warranted. Th name that I bestowed upon thee is URIEL ("God's Light"), a name synonymous with the likes of my most /purifying/ light! You are the Angel of the Three Realms (Manager of Hell, Guardian of Earth, and Angel of Heaven), and is your duty to torment the wicked as much as nurture their victims! Do you know why I made your wings black Uriel?'
That question did it. I began to weep and break down into a shrill scream of unfathomable agony. God made my wings black because I bear the great burden all of the creators knowledge. Of all agonies in creation, all torments, and even the knowledge of what it means to exist in the absence of the creator.
"THOSE BEAUTIFUL CREATURES DON'T DESERVE THE PAIN OF KNOWLEDGE!! THEY DO NOT KNOW WHERE INTELLECT LEADS!! OH GOD!! HOW I WEEPETH FOR ALLETH OF MAN!!!!"
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>>134279231
Aaaand, question answered.
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>>134279231
>>134276384
very fake news
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What is this?
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>>134279231
"DO THEY NOT PRESENTLY KNOW THAT THE INEVITABILITY OF KNOWING ALL THERE IS IS A HORSEMAN OF THE END TIMES?? DO THEY NOT KNOW THAT THEY THEMSELVES CAN TAKE ON THE WILL OF THE DEVIL UNWITTINGLY??"
God broke my ramble with the heartiest of laughs, not out of mockery, but because he was and always has been amused at how I always focus on the negative. But then I got it, and all it took was a simple laugh. My tears went from those of anger, to those of regret, to those of agony, and, finally, to those of utter and total awe. He did it, he made a /true/ masterpiece. Because, as with a third of the Angels rebelling, for every soul of evil, there would be two souls of good. I could see the timeline of this world unfold before me. Wingless angels were impeccable, and /absolutely/ God's finest work. They would perform an endless amount of acts in /all/ likenesses upon the divine stage of the world (the word "person" comes from."a mask used for a play"). They would laugh, feast, sing, and create monumental structures and great works. I could not believe my vision! These beings would conceive into the world 1/3 of the depths of hell and 2/3 of the wonders of heaven upon it!
My vision returned to the Garden of Eden, and with a smile and tears of joy, I ushered out Adam and Eve into the world, eager to bear witness to what mankind would do with both free will and his knowledge....
FIN
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>>134280849
that was purrty
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>>134280518
some roleplaying faggot. /pol/ is a shilling and roleplaying board now
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Slide thread. Saged.
But I'll bite. So your story definitely isn't apocryphal and your plebbit spacing is obvious. Why would reading your miserable expose of prose lead us to any missing enlightenment of the past millenia?
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This reads so much like a Tumblr fanfiction, I wouldn't be surprised if it actually was one. I hope you wake up in the morning and in your cereal, there will be a bug with a very similar appearance to cereal, but radically different taste and texture. I hope you eat this bug, and never trust cereal again, just as I will never trust one of these "the truth about x" posts ever again. It's only 1:30 in the morning and you've already ruined my day. Fuck you, you likely shill nigger.
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>>134276384
This is advanced cringe
Couldn't make it 1/3 through
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I counted 5 grammatical mistakes in op's story.
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>>134284187
Truly the language of the gods.
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X tier bump
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>You are now aware of your penis
>Play with me
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>>134282911
>>134282831
>>134282316
"Hey Michael! Can we not even throw these heathens on the bowl scale? Thanks bro you know I like it when people think I'm fiction! Michael they think you're not real too dude! It's almost as if we shouldn't even exist down here! I mean, if even the Christian Church thinks Uriel (NAME MEANS GOD'S LIGHT) shouldn't even be known to man why should you be too dude? What's that? These "peoples" lineages back to Adam and Eve are fiction novels in the Tartarus Library? Thanks bro I'M GLAD WE'RE ON THE SAME PAGE."
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>>134276384
making christianity look like extensive LARP
If you dont repent, the sin you got by this mockery, will weight heavily on your soul....
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>>134276384
>>134279231
>>134280849
Am I on /tg/?
Did I just walk in on a "Humanity Heck Ya!" thread? ON POL?!
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>>134280849
This sounds like RP, but...that was beautifully written OP. I do not mind this thread.
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>>134282911
1:30 in the morning and you've already ruined my day. Fuck you, you likely shill nigger.
This comment made my day.
>>134285265#
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