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>be american
>first time in Brazil
>drop off plane
>hungry and tired as fuck because brazilians couldn't stop talking in brazilian the entire trip
>get to hotel
>bedroom is nothing like pictures
>bathroom has suicide shower with exposed circuits to tempt me
>leave hotel cause hungry as fuck
>get to a churrascaria and eat clearly warmed meat for one hour
>get infection
>hurry back to hotel to shit
>spend 2 hours stuck there
>finally leave to take shower
>shower broke on the last guest and I had to take it cold
>lucky cause last guest probably got zapped to death
>toilet starts overflowing with shit and water cause I threw toilet paper in like a fucking human being should
>have to clear it out
>change bedrooms
>second one is between two floors
>have to listen to brazilians fuck like chimps the entire night
>can't sleep
>wake up feeling like shit
>go to beach to see the one thing I wanted to see in this shithole
>random nog walks to me, pulls out a .38 somehow
>takes my sandals, phone and sunglasses
>go to police
>the one brazilian who understood what I said told me they can't do shit about it cause he was a minor
Fuck this place. THis hellhole doesn't deserve to be a country. Every second here has been a nightmare.
How do you survive Brazil, brazilians? I'd kill myself if I had to live here.
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>>133999987
Doesn't sound that different from America desu
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>>133999987
>brazillian
They speak Portuguese you dumb fucking burger.
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>>133999987
>get to a churrascaria and eat clearly warmed meat for one hour
U M A D E L I C I A
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>>134000387
clearly you've never been to America... as in anywhere in America
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Go treat that self hatred.
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>>133999987
Why did you go to Brazil in the first place? Every Brazilian on /pol/ hates their country and wishes that it would be nuked out of existence. Did you think they were just memeing?
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>>134000500
Meat just tastes like third day steak. Those that you put somewhere and then microwave it to eat when you are too lazy to cook anything human.
I don't know why people say brazilian barbecue is good. Steak tastes like shit and the shit that they eat with the meat also taste bad.
I'm yet to ask about sopa de macaco. I got an infection so bad that I'm shitting yellow pasta as I type. It's fucking horrible.
I'm gonna have to buy new underpants here but I'm afraid I'll buy cheap underwear and get Gonorrhea.
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>>133999987
Looks like you wanted to save a few shekels on a shitty hotel huh
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>>134000985
But in all seriousness, you do realize you just ate monkey meat?
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>>134000867
Gf is half-brazilian and wanted to visit.
I told her about sopa de macaco and she just found it hilarious and wanted to come even more. She's not redpilled so I could not drop the truth that brazilians are all murderous niggers with an IQ of 85.
I'm now stuck in hotel with food infection without my phone and my passport (nog took my wallet). She's afraid she'll get mugged if she leaves. She'll never get to visit a favela to do her Instagram virtue signaling before we leave.
I'm right now just shouting at her face at how stupid this idea was. We also can't embrace the brazilian reality and have sex non-stop all vacations because I can't stop shitting yellow jelly.
Fuck Brazil.
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>>133999987
>warmed meat for one hour
It's imperative to make sure your sopa de macaco is thoroughly cooked.
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>>134001356
Hope you make it out in one peace bro.
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>>134001356
Why isn't your flag brazilian?
Thread posts: 14
Thread images: 3
Thread images: 3