Being a Step Dad

File: 1294350967508.jpg (32KB, 257x276px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 257x276px

Mixed Daughter kicking our garage door trying to get in, WTF! She has a key and a remote for the garage door. I guess that is trying to be hood?
Brings over a black guy wearing dark plastic frame sunglasses with what looks like ace bandage ramped around his head with a purple philly ravens hat on.
> I’m on full alert and go to my gun locker,
> wife knows I have one, but doesn’t understand since I don’t own guns.
I grab my midnight special, tuck it into my pocket.

He comes in, makes these weird “ooooohhhhh, dank” and “ohhhhhhhh, you guys balling”
Finish grilling, wife offers him ginger ale, water, diet coke, or coke zero. He says coke zero, never tried it.
As I set table spots at and my wife transfers meat to serving platters he walks into our kitchen and falls over all the sudden.
Says he slipped on a spill
> Oh fuck, I just became the supermarket spill and fall.
Immediately yell, let me help you up
>Squeezing his arm til it will pop.
> take him outside to our front porch,
“really, did you really think you could do a slip and fall accident in a house? We don’t have the same liability with negligence as a grocery store, are you dumb?”
> Ask what negligence is
> say duty and breach
>Still doesn’t understand
> You can’t fuck a person up if they know are you are doing
> Finally gets it
> Runs away
Step daughter is furious,
Wife asks if I said something racist
No,
God damnit, I became more racist than ever.