/cpd/ - CHICAGO PD SCANNER THREAD - WEEKEND COMFY EDITION

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I wonder if they were able to bring that toddler home from last night

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>tfw u gotta write up this body removal form but your kitten keeps playing with the pen as you try to write

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what up early roberts. hope all is well.

>>133790598

As long as his keys are checked I see no problem with play time before paperwork time

>>133790756

Get comfy buddy

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good evening roberts

>>133790756
dayum they put the black in male black

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>girlfriend high on PCP, tried to stab him

>drinking "tons" of beer, setting of fireworks

truly comfy

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>>133790130
Evening Roberts. Keys checked.

Oh great. A bunch of fat keyboard faggots listening to real men do their jobs p

>hazmat incident

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>body removal. This one's a HAZMAT incident for extreme hoarding.

>>133793002
Oh great. A fat keyboard faggot on /pol/ judging people on /pol/ for making fun of niggers and cities destroyed by liberalism.

>>133793234
This sounds like a case for...

Detective Dookie
Poop Patrol
S-Pee-U

>>133793002

>Oh great. A bunch of fat keyboard faggots listening to real men do their jobs p

i'll take epic real life action over watching (((sports))), (((holywood))), or (((((((((((((tv))))))))))))) any day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-z9EbsN_Jo

BRING THE SUITS

>25 minute backlog
>hazmat suits needed for dead hoarder

Wanna take bets on how much this fatass hoarder weighs? I'm going with 320 lbs. Price Is Right Rules.

>>133793501
321lbs.

>>133793501
319lbs


i wager 1 shekel

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Hurray /CPD/ time! Let the reports come in.
Did "…claimed to be kidnapped and raped for two weeks" made it in the news?
>inb4 "nigger, this is chicago."

>>133791511
pretty dark fa sho.
>how'd this black nigga get this car?
-brand nubian

>>133793501

i also wager 1 shekel, 322 lbs

>>133793501
Imagine how it smells. Probably like BO and rotting fish

>>133793437
If that doesn't get you in the goddamn mood I don't know what does

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>>133793963
why do they always resort to shitting in bags?

>>133793928
Maserattis aren't nearly as expensive as people make them out to be. They're in the ~100k range for a used one, and there's plenty. Short answer: likely debt or one of many soon to be washed up rappers with a one hit wonder.
>>133793963
There was an old greentext of an EMT anon who had to deal with something similar to this, where the guy's foot practically falls off as he's being hoisted out of the basement stairs. I'll see if I can find it, or maybe it was just a thread many years ago.

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>>133794085

>>133793886
probably some stacy who got creampied by tyrone for a couple of weeks, found out she was pregnant, and when tyrone ran away she decided she'd rather be known as the mother of a rapebaby than a slut who sleeps with niggers willingly ass evidenced by her mutt

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this could be memed and have it read- murdered by niggers, in which case it would be ten feet tall and five times as long. attempts welcome. ill try as well

>>133794248
anyone have the basement ogre pics on hand?

>>133794340

>They're in the ~100k range for a used one,

cheaper than that even

maseratis are cars that aren't even expensive but rare enough for people to chimp out when they see them

kinda like lotuses

>>133794248
>y poop in bag tho

socks run out eventually

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>>133794340
thats a good point. it would probably be comparable to a new 7 series, or M6. Its got lake forest sports cars license plate cover, and its highly unlikely that its stolen if in fact it came from there. i like one hit wonder and his hanger on weed buddies

>>133794477
Lotuses are literally the niggers Lamborghini

does anyone have pics of the basement guy with sour cream pics on hand?

>>133794643

or like that one rapper who rented a lamborghini to make a video about his lamborghini

clever tho

>pleasuring himself in the ally

I wonder if it's the mastubates-at-cars guy from last night

>woman screaming in alley where MALE BLACK was pleasuring himself earlier

F

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>>133794397
I know the image you're looking for. It's a shame that the first result for "basement ogre dvd" is a reddit thread. https://imgur.com/a/OH1lW
>>133793963
Fucking reddit again. Regardless, found it. Worth the read.

Are there every any car chases like in LA?

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WHITE POWER HOT SHOWER
>evening sweet princes of shitlordery and robertin'

>>133794673
You've got that the wrong way around. Lotus is a no-name brand outside of enthusiasts.

>>133794248

Its a slippery slope. The house is a mess because of mental problema and one day the toilet wont flush and they try to plunger it etc on their own but cant fix it. They never call a plumber or maintenace out of fear of being shamed.

>>133795035
>Lotus is a no-name brand outside of enthusiasts.

makes sense. my friend was always bitching about the insane repair costs because there was only 1 mechanic in the whole city (a top 10 US population city) who knew what the fuck to do with them

Is that cop drunk or retarded?

>>133794906
Holy shit someone should have euthanized her

>>133795275
I kept dragging myself away from a local dealership where they had a relatively low priced Elise. I know I did the right thing not buying it, but damn was it a rough choice.

>>133794356
I know of a story where the bitch stayed voluntary in an apartment and got a group of urban youth running a train on her for two fucking months. She fled through the window when the boys started to make their pitbull eat her pussy… but you are probably right.

did i hear that right? did someone just call in for being price gouged by an uber driver?

>>133795770
the pitbull's IQ was too high and scared her off

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Evening Roberts, time to get comfy.

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>>133796092
Holy fuck. My sides.

>>133794906

do you have part 2?

>male hispanic gangbangers beating her up in an alley

>>133796092
Makes me chuckle whenever my eyes slide over it.

>>133790130
Why doesn't Chicongo have a live Cops show on weekend nights?

>>133796473
I don't, but you could probably find it the same way I did.
http://lmgtfy.com/?s=b&q=4chan+paramedic

>4 male asians fighting
RARE

>>133796737
>http://lmgtfy.com/?s=b&q=4chan+paramedic
>bing
You monster

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>>133796737

interestng, lmgtfy now uses bing

pic is part 2!

>>133796770
They just always sound like they are fighting, Fucking gooks

>>133796736
The network jews make them downplay how much of our crime is committed by dindus and beaners.

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>>133796966
part 3!

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get 'em

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>>133796736
They do. Last time I hung out with someone that had cable there was a show on some channel called "PD live" or something like it. They had live cameras following the officers in various locations, followed by commentary in a studio. One of the locations was in black male's domains.
I vaguely remember seeing a dodge caliber roll over on a fence/post and dude getting out swinging a child at police officers as if it was a bar stool. Video of it must exist somewhere. It was last weekend.

>>133796966
>>133797035
I'm really enjoying this trainwreck, thanks for bringing it to the thread

> smoke detector or package of peace

>>133797179
Yeah it's on right now, LivePD on A&E
If they focused on real crime areas it would be much more enthralling

Get a chatroom going fools, lets do this!

>male spic in the laundromat jumping around hitting the dryers.
wut's he on?

>male white choking a female
/pol/ btfo?

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>>133796890
I should've used Jeeves.
Holy shit, it worked.
http://lmgtfy.com/?s=k&q=PD+live+car+flip
>>133796736
>>133797179
Found the video!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UoT7kTerYlk

>>133797035
Disappointing ending

People selling drugs

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>>133797708
choke a thot right

lotta drug sale activity tonight. summer weekends must be the hot sales period

>window smashed in
>glass all over the street

>drag race
this happens in my city a lot

kinda early for the
>drag racers

>male beating a female
>caller yelled at him to stop
>male threw a pipe at him

>woman about to kill her girlfriend at wendy's

for your neets that have never lived in the hood
> summer = prime drug dealing season
> winter = cold outside and holidays so not as much business some dealers dont even deal in the winter months

>>133798007
but wendy's is my comfy place?

>>133798028
in chicago murders go up to at least once a day during the summer

>>133798028
>cold outside and holidays so not as much business some dealers dont even deal in the winter months
they vacation down in FLA? if I was dealing, I guess if I could deal with the cold I could make good money in the winter?

>>133798007
lezbos are always angery and beat the shit out of there (((partners)))

>>133798170
most people in chicago never leave there block. Its too dangerous. Not even memeing its really fucked up.

>precious is having a dispute with her boyfriend

Robert hours...when I turn my local scanners down for some real entertainment, and realize how good I have it because I don't have to live in some scumbag ridden shit hole.

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>>133798007

>>133798170
they normal make anuff money to be /comfy/ til spring.... kfc blunts and not going into cold cold fucking freeze nuts wealth of chiraq

>>133798057
Not in downtown Chicago

>>133796770

Chinks fight eachother all the time. One time i was in bar and a big group of chinks showed up. Then 30mins later another big group of chinks showed up. They were rival gangs and instantly started screaming at eachother. The bar was U shaped so they ended up on opposite sides of the bar throwing all the bottles of liquor they could reach, all the mugs, glasses, fucking cup of cherries, everything. The entire place was covered in broken glasses. Then they started brawling and it spilled outside to the big patio and parking lot. Then the shooting started. It was fucking awesome to watch.

>like whattttttttttttttttttttttt

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>>133797573
I'd imagine people in showbiz are very risk adverse. Not just from being in close range to firearms (I worked at a set where 70% of people said they would attend filming because there would be live ammo). Now imagine being in Chirak at the receiving end/trying to stop this https://youtu.be/XON4kCdAqR8 and all you have is a very expensive camera.
Also, from what little I've read about the show since I found out what it's actually called, it's already under fire for a perceived racial bias. Inconvenient truths I suppose.

>male white trying to jump off the side of a building

Faggot better do a flip.

Someone will an hero

>>133798644
>first time I hear "male white"
>he's trying to kill himself

>>133798644
>said they would attend filming
wouldn't

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>male white 35 trying to kill himself
no pls no

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> 4 females fighting
beaners vs nogs
> RACEWAR NOW

>>133798836
>beaners vs nogs
that's not a race war, that's just every day

>>133798836
>beaners vs nogs
no two races hate one another more then these

Male Mohammed is complaining about Male Hispanic

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>KNIFE
>SPICS
>JEEP
>ALLEY

WOOO BOYS HERE WE GO

>>133798780
>>133798809
living in chicago caught up with him

>using fake money at a mcdonalds
jesus christ what level of ghetto is this

>>133793501
1 lb

>>133798915
animals hate other animals because of resource use
> how can /pol/ stoke this fire?

>>133798809

35 really is the an hero age isn't it

>>133799012
Besides leaving what choice do you have?

>>133799072
its the age you become a wizard

>>133799138
he could at least take some niggers out with him

Clown on the loose

>there's a clown walking around the block

>>133799019
the same kind of ghetto that has to put bullet proof glass in front of the registers?

NO ONE ORDERED A CLOWN!

>clown on the block
>nobody ordered a clown
>kids are running away

>clown black

>Nobody ordered a clown
>They about to get one

There's a clown running around the block. Nobody ordered a clown. The kids are running away.

>There's a crown walking around the block
>No one ordered a clown
>Kids are running away

lmfao

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>clown

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SHIFT CHANGE
H
I
F
T

C
H
A
N
G
E

>homeland security
um what? are the feds being called in for the clown?

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JOHN have you returned?

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>>133799227
>>133799235
>>133799236
>>133799242
>>133799248
you know why those kids are running, right?

>>133799273
Kill it with fire.

>>133799203
Now that's the right attitude right there! He could make the world a better place

>>133799321
Probably for Mohammed who called about the spics. President Trump ain't letting DHS take no chances.

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homeland called must be big drugs or weapons

we /RRH/ now

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>>133798915
>>133798836
nogs were putting up posters about the spics earlier this year

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>>133799528

promises made, promises kept

>his boyfriend is trying to beat him up

Gay and lesbian domestic violence tonight.

>>133799672
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9yruQM1ggc

>8 shots heard
things are starting to heat up

Robert has one of the worst jobs. And he isn't given the tools to do his job properly. How can they be helped?

>>133791889
drunk 5 y/o

did this seriously happen?

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we Real Robert Hours now

>>133799957
im sure trump sending in the feds helped

>>133799957

when i lived in the south side, all the local establishments would give cops free food

you can also donate to the vest fund:

http://www.getbehindthevest.org/

>>133799957
by reading the OP. There's link there to where you can donate for better vests.

alley fight, a rumblearoni

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REAL ROBERT HOUR

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>>133800094
what did they mean by this

>>133800004
they just arrested a 6 y/o in Chicongo that was robbing people at gun point
gun
point
what do you think?

>>133800177

whoa i never noticed it until now, but the license plate looks like 'RoBbert'

>>133800268

the emperor pays off the military to he doesn't get coup'd, news at 11

>>133800395
>to

meant 'so'

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>>133800304
https://archive.is/J68ZQ
article on the incident.

Kids are used a lot in chicago because illionois is very soft on juvenile crime. Even the rap music that comes out of chicago the rappers are as young as 13/14.

>>133800095
>>133800094
Yeah I'm not paying anything. I was thinking more of how to remove the problem.

>>133800268

my friend works at a small/medium sized business in the southside. said the owner pays a hefty check to the cpd every year for extra vigilance ;)

>>133800702
thats like a story you hear out of the 3rd world

>ADAM FUCKIN UP
KSY VS AUTO

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all these shots fired and not a single count /cpd/ you slipin

>>133800758

the business would still get police response one way or another, but

if they hear 'XYZ business is getting activity' they'll probably get higher priority or maybe even two units, because it's like "hey, we know those guys, they donate a lot"

>>133800702
Imagine giving out gibs instead of arming your police. They should all just quit.

>>133801066
explain this meme to me

>>133801129
>>133801129
i mean it makes sense why they do it and I don't blame them. But its a shame you gotta donate to the cops to feel safe
in america.

"I say we take off, and nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure" - Corporal Hicks.

>>133801215

this is a business with $10+ million of assets on site. it's a relatively small risk management cost desu

WATCH YOUR KEYS

WATCH YO KEYS ROBERT

>>133801215
Only in the shitholes.

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units watch your keys!

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>>133801156
when shots are fire ... we count and post the count from sesame street

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>>133801156

>>133801156
Lurk moar faggot.

>>133800758

Just another day in African America.

>>133801556

it gets better. the owner bought the current site from the city at a huge discount in order to "renew the blighted neighborhood"

guess what religion he practices

The fuck how do I read these numbers. And Robert is like roger right?

>caller reports her husband is trying to stab her son
>her son

>>133801556
Except Americans are paying for their welfare and Robert to clean them up. And to house them when they're sentenced. They need whiteys help for almost everything.

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>>133801752
>And Robert is like roger right?
nope

K N O W N
Gangbangers

>>133801744
>guess what religion he practices
judyism?

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>>133801744
>>133801862

>pitbull chasing people
shocking

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we overdue for someone getting shot

>>133802049
But my dog is so much smarter than niggers..but I get it.

>>133802353
Creatures of peace. How dare you

Did they just say 50 males fighting in the park?
50... dafuq

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Check your damn keys people.

>>133802685
really makes you think when you consider many medieval skirmishes were fought with a similar amount of combatants

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>FIVE
>FIVE SHOTS FIRED
>AH AH AH

> son did not come home til 3am
def white male

>>133802921
count 'em Count!

Why is it so comfy to listen to this?
I'm listening to horrible shit happening, but it's strangely chill, and nice to play video games to.

This feels wrong.

>caller can smell smoke
somebody BBQing in their apartment again?

>>133803106

it's comfy because it's real life. this is actually /happening/

it's not the scripted song and dance that TV/sports/movies show you

>>133801875
Thx I'm so confused the key in op's post seems inadequate

>she was beat up by a woman named cynthia
>then she was beaten by her boyfriend
>sounds very intoxicated

>>133802685
I remember >Group of 300 youth at a fuelstation
Not sure if they were about to storm this place.

>>133803274
listen for a few nights and it will all be clear

>>133803293
Rock paper scissors

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>>133803322

would be a terrible time for a... freak gasoline accident

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>>133803125
could be.
<<the search for storm drain nog continues

drinkin and doing drugs.... my new rap LP

>>133803599
>man hole cover is missing
think it was sold to a scrap dealer?

>a gurl is tryin to fight the calluh
Are the niggresses always this violent or is it a full moon over there?

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>>133803848
very likely

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>>133803923
women with "strange" names tend to be violent in my experience

>3 males beating another male at a family party
Uncle Jimmy get drunk again?

damn rapscallion

>>133804098
I can't tell if they're men or women

>teenage beaners shooting at a beaner at 7-11

>party full of gangbangers guns being waved around

But WAIT... don't guns be illegal in Chirag?

party full of gang bangers
> aint nothing gangstaaa parttyyyy

>>133804422
They just need an army to roll thru. Place is fucked.

nigs raiding property for copper

>>133804557
Nuke from orbit baby!

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>>133804098

Isnt chiraq also flooding right now? Is Male Black going to go on a looting spree?

Stealing copper? Ffs

>>133804625
tishh...you...terria...really?

the call may have actually been the shooter? did i hear that right?

shotter or shottieeee ?
> the world may never know

>then who was shooter?
>shooter was phone

>>133804613
Its just the south side. Wall it off and put cameras everywhere. Almost like hunger games. Except all useless humans are game. They'll figure it out.

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>>133804625
forgot pic
>WOOOG!

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>>133804821

uhoh blackmale has gun

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TFW you call to report a shooter, and then you think, wait, I'm the shooter.

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>>133804557
Trump sent ATF last weekend for 4th July back up .
>4th = GANSTA PARIDISE

lol beaners being beaners and nigs nogging

>>133804098
should change the one in the lower right to "Jane" or something

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anyone having trouble with the ambient music?

>>133805242
you have to open it in soundcloud. Something is fucky with the comfy stream

>>133805084
They can't even take care of what they have now. They must've loved it

>Saturday Night
>Hot July
>Chicago
>Robert hours

Good times.

>throwing eggs
why are police going after this? maybe handing out eggs to the gangbangers would lower murder rates

>>133805516
I doubt the are. Sounds like they have too much already

>>133804980
Buy these for your kids and win $10million

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>>133805357
well known fireworks cover gun fire . not just ChiraQ but all over there is a spike in gun play.

>>133805777
you aint lyin'....not with them digitz.

>>133805777
Witnessed.
>male white choking female white.

>>133805893
I'm sure wherever large groups of blacks are there is an increase in violence/gunplay. Just how it goes.

>>133805084
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpGbzYlnz7c

>>133804961

it's not just the south side. about half the shootings are in the west side. plenty up north now too.

"the south side" was just a meme for real estate agents to tell north siders so they'd feel better about buying in an infested city. the problem has metastasized throughout the whole city at this point.

door alarm on donut store

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>>133806826
I missed something about a taco bell. Robert was mumbling badly.
>captcha is robetson museum.

>vehicle on fire

>>133807072

some of these roberts sound like they just woke up drunk at 4am after a 2 hour sleep. it's possible some of them might just be legitimately retarded.

>hey [retarded robert], dispatch says you gotta go in first to clear the gangbanger alley. don't stop to lick the windows on the way in like last time.

>>133806708
My friend lives there and says they've never seen anything like what's on the radio.

>>133807852
Your friend is smart. He's minding his own business.

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>>133807852

check the pic bro, it's literally everywhere.

i heard a shot in my neighborhood, i go out to find where it was and found the happening /in front of/ the police station.

i've seen people start fights at shops across the street from police stations.

these animals have no known deterrents.

pic source: http://heyjackass.com/2017-deadliest-hoods/

>>133808261
Animals have deterrents. This could be solved in less than a week if it was taken seriously. They are pests.

>>133808052

>Your friend is smart. He's minding his own business.

that's not how it works lmfao. if you're around these things they will attack you without provocation. they travel freely throughout the whole city.

>flag

yep

>polish

>>133808691
that's racist.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UoT7kTerYlk

>>133808816
Some don't understand until they've been personally culturally enriched.

>>133808824
Good groundwork Robert!

>>133809141
And some even feel guilty AFTER being enriched…
There is no limit to how deep a cuck can sink.

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>>133808261
Have a map from 2015 for comparison

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You lot know most of these shootings, esp between gangs is spoke about in 'drill' music. A good youtube channel is 'chicago world news'.

Each set has shooters, normally kids between ages of 14 through to 21, running hits, catching bodies, before they get offed by a rival. Some of them have 'bodies' tallying 5+ and are spoken about in their music, it literally fuels the violence and continues the cyclic nature of their feuds.

For example Shootashellz (pic related), three months ago released a dis against a gang which has two rappers who've now made it and are part of a group called nlmb, gherbo and lil bibby, both now out of chicago.

Anyway pic is what happened to shootashellz at 9:30am over on the east block in a zone known as 'killaward'

This is a recent example of hunderds which are openly posted about, spoke about on twitter and yt videos. Fuck knows what CPD is up to but hardly any are convicted despite it being well known exactly which guy in which set pulled the hit.

Bit of a rabbit hole to go down, I've been watching these since 2014 and beefs from 2011/12 are still ongoing, collecting bodies daily.

>gunshot wound to the lower left leg
>good condition

>>133810597
that's some first class, complicated niggerdom, bro

I dont know a damn thing your talking about lol drillz and nibs. who listens to rap anymore?

Did I just hear that right? An old guy sitting in a lawn chair yelling at cars?

ROAD RAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!

>>133811973
To punch running cars on the street seems to be a thing in Chicago too. And shooting at them of course.

>>133810579

that 2015 makes sense - when i saw the 2017 one i wondered why the west side wasn't as bad as before

i guess the west side is improving, relatively? or maybe it just looks different because we're only halfway through the year?

>>133808816
Regard them like I do: like polar bears.

I think it was Cousteau I heard this from. Basically they asked him what animal still scares him and he said polar bears because "one minute they're off minding their own business and completely uninterested in you, the next they're mauling you."

>shots fired

>>133812225
Probably. We're 18 murders ahead of this time last year though.

>>133812225
>or maybe it just looks different because we're only halfway through the year?
that's what I'm guessing

>>133810597

if you live in chicago you should drop cpd a line to ask about working in their gang intel division (whatever that may be called)

sadly they're probably too obsessed with favor trading and nepotism to consider hiring you. america (or maybe just liberal areas) are retarded right now when it comes to getting jobs based on qualifications alone.

>>133812590

i mean assuming you would want to do that as a living of course (which i assume you probably wouldnt)

the problem with making a hobby/pasttime into a job is just that, it stops being fun and becomes a job

e.g., i love listening to /cpd/ but i'd never want to be a cop. first responder medic for <1 year maybe, but i couldnt do it long term because it wouldn't be fun anymore.

>>133797754
Of course it's in SC

>need somebody to secure the vehicle

>>133812313

i wonder if the shootings will peak this year. i just don't see how it could continue - at some point they have to have just killed each other so much that the total gangbanger population decreases.

then again, single motherhood has rapidly increased especially since the 2000's. that's the literal breeding ground for these things, so maybe things will only ramp up from here.

Quick rundown of tonight lads?

Male Hispanic is running and screaming in the alley

>Shot in the head

>driver was shot in the head

F

>>133799227
top kek

>>133813171

my favorite highlight of the night:

>Dispatch:
>"There's a clown walking around the block."
>"No one ordered a clown."
>"Kids are running away."

>Male hispanic waving a knife

>>133813532
Sketch

>first victim has a gunshot wound to the left leg
>other victim was shot in the left shoulder

>Jimmy threatening his gf to kill himself. Now, not answering his phone.

>>133802923
last night a nog was beating a nigress in front of her kids on a playground around 2am.
surely this is a white male

Sup my Roberts!

>beaten in the face
>needs an ambulance

>he's in extreme critical

>>133814165
dont do it jimmy

>Party getting out of hand, they're breaking things.
Tyrone partying hard.

>can hear the landlord screaming for help

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>>133814907
total madman

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>Landlord screaming for help.
So what are the odds its a nigger incident?

>male fighting women on the sixth floor
>hitting them and throwing them to the floor

What was that?
>…waited for him in the bushes

>>133815547
threw a brick at him as he was leaving work

male shot in neck

>shot in the neck

Hahaha
>male white trying to charge ppl 60$ for parking on a residential street

>>133815547
offender threw a brick at someone leaving work, is now hiding in the bushes

ALSO
>Someone got shot in the neck
F

>men with a gun
>one goes by pancake

5'1'' hispanic skinny and tattooed..lighter fluid...
Eddie is about to burn this bitch down..

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>Male black with a gun

Any1 baking?
t. mobilefag

>car crashed in wall, (now burning?)
>large group of motorcyclists blocking traffic

>5 intoxicated college girls in a wagon

someone will have a great night

Emergency bread: >>133817369