Captain Adolf has to hunt his narwhal

>>132888816
>2/5
>Fegelein storms into Hitler's office
>Fegelein: "You son of a bitch."
>Hitler: "This really isn't the time."
>Fegelein: "Okay. I don't know jack about anything but antics, but everybody out there thinks that staying here and fighting the Bolsheviks is suicide. They're just afraid to come in here and say it."
>Hitler: "The High Command is accustomed to following my orders."
>Fegelein: "They're probably accustomed to your orders making sense."
>Hitler: "None of them understand the Judeo-Bolsheviks as I do. ...No one does. No one can."
>Fegelein: "What is that supposed to mean?"
>Hitler: "Twenty seven years ago, they signed an armistice with the Reich. I had their mustard gas wrack my body. I was impoverished by the reparations, humiliated by the loss of living space, every trace of German pride erased. I was targeted by them. They rejected me from architecture school. They locked me in prison. So you can imagine, dear brother-in-law, I have a somewhat unique perspective on the Jews and I know how to fight them. Now if you will excuse me I have work to do."
>Fegelein: "I am such an idiot. ... It's so simple. The Jews hurt you, and now you're going to hurt them back."
>Hitler: "The Master race does not succumb to revenge. We have a more evolved sensibility."
>Fegelein: "Bullshit! I saw the look on your face when you had Röhm killed on the Night of the Long Knives. You were almost enjoying it!"

>>132888856
3/5
>Hitler: "How dare you!"
>Fegelein: "Oh, come on, Führer, You're not the first man to get a thrill from murdering someone. I see it all the time."
>Hitler: "Get out!"
>Fegelein: "Or what? You'll kill me, like you killed Stabschef Röhm?"
>Hitler: "There was no way to save him."
>Fegelein: "You didn't even try! Where was your übermenschlich sensibility then?"
>Hitler: "I don't have time for this."
>Fegelein: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your little quest. Schiffsführer Ahab has to go hunt his whale!"
>Hitler: "What?"
>Fegelein: "You do have books in the Reichskanzlei library?"
>Hitler: "This is not about revenge!"
>Fegelein: "Liar!"
>Hitler: "This is about saving the future of the Deutsches Volk!"
>Fegelein: "Adolf, surrender to Eisenhauer!!"
>Hitler: "No! NOOOOOOOOO!!!
>In anger, Hitler smashes a gilded globe topped by a Reichsadler. Both pause, shocked.
Hitler: “I will not sacrifice the Reich.We've made too many compromises already, too many retreats. They bankrupt our nations, and we fall back. They enslave entire countries, and we fall back. Not again! The line must be drawn here! This far, no further! And I will make them PAY for what they've done!"
>Fegelein: "You broke your little globe. ... See you around, Ahab."
>Hitler: " 'And he piled upon the whale's white hump the sum of all the rage and hate felt by his whole race. If his chest had been a cannon he would have shot his heart upon it.' "
>Fegelein: "What?"
>Hitler: "Moby Dick."
>Fegelein: "Actually, I never read it."
>Hitler: "Ahab spent years hunting the white whale that crippled him in a quest for vengeance; but in the end, it destroyed him and his ship."
>Fegelein: "I guess he didn't know when to quit."
>...

>>132888883
>4/5
>Hitler and Fegelein walk out into the main room
>Hitler: "Prepare to evacuate the Führerbunker, negotiate our surrender to Eisenhauer. and abort the plan to destroy our supply caches and roads."
>...
>Hitler: "Oberscharführer Misch, begin bunker evacuation and radio our surrender to Eisenhauer, authorisation Hitler, four seven alpha tango."
>Eva: "Oberscharführer Misch, Kanzlergehmalin Hitler, confirm bunker evacuation and surrender, authorisation Eva, two two beta charlie."
>Speer: "Oberscharführer Misch, Oberbefehlsleiter Speer, confirm bunker evacuation and surrender, authorisation, Speer three seven gamma echo."
>Rochus Misch: "Command authorisation accepted. Awaiting final code to begin bunker evacuation sequence and transmit surrender to Eisenhauer."
>Hitler: "This is the Führer, Reichskanzler Adolf Hitler, evacuation sequence alpha one, secure surrender sequence beta one. Fifteen minutes silent countdown. ...Enable."
>Misch: "Bunker evacuation followed by radio transmission of surrender to Eisenhauer in fifteen minutes. There will be no further audio warning."
>Eva: "So much for the Third Reich."
>Hitler: "We barely knew her."
>Eva: "Think they'll erect another one?"
>Hitler: "Plenty of numerals and millennia left."
>...
>Hitler approaches Speer.
>Hitler: "Herr Speer. I regret some of the things I said to you earlier."
>Speer: "Some?"
>Hitler: "As a matter of fact I think you're the bravest man I have ever known, and the greatest architect in the world."
>Speer: "Thank you, sir."
>Hitler: "See you at Berchtesgaden."
>Joseph Goebbels (telepathically): "«Führer...»
>Hitler (silently): "Joseph..."
>...

File: 0e9.jpg (27KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

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>american flag

>>132888904
5/5
>As Fegelein is prepping to leave the bunker, Hitler hands him an envelope.
>Hitler: "If you see Reichsführer-SS Himmler, Reichsmarschall Göring, or any of my party leaders, give them this."
>Fegelein: "What is it?"
>Hitler: "A general pardon, and orders to regroup at Berchtesgaden, surrender to Eisenhauer for an alliance against the Bolsheviks, and... preserve the Deutsches Volk."
>Fegelein: "Well, good luck."
>Hitler: "To both of us."
>Fegelein: "You're not leaving, are you?"
>Hitler: "Speer, when I was jailed after the Putsch, and suicidal, my party risked every thing to save me. There is... someone still in this bunker, and I owe him the same."
>Fegelein: "Go and find your friend."

File: Anglo Slav Entente.jpg (89KB, 710x473px) Image search: [Google]

89KB, 710x473px

>>132888912
Nah this is all satirical. Slavs are honorary Anglos, and I fully support another Great Patriotic War to purge the world of the Aryan Menace once and for all.

>>132888816
>>132888856
>>132888883
>>132888904
>>132888928

Yes, we've seen Star Trek 8 too.