AMATEUR HOURS
LISTEN HERE
http://www.broadcastify.com/listen/feed/763
PEEP THE SHOT-CLOCK HERE
http://heyjackass.com/
R.egular O.ld B.adass E.verybody's R.eally T.hankful
R.adio O.perator B.itching E.ating R.are T.endies
>>132677316
woah those numericals...tomorrows date (77) and 316 as is John 3:16...IS IT ABOUT TO HAPPEN???
>BUT WHO THE FUCK IS ROBERT???
ROBERT is the hero Chiraq needs but doesn't deserve; His nemesis is MALE BLACK, a notorious thief, murderer, and general rapscallion. By night they battle for the fate of the city.
FOR YOUR LISTENING PLEASURE
>>CPD Dispatch Stream:
http://www.broadcastify.com/listen/feed/763/web
>>Same feed with ambient music:
http://youarelistening.to/chicago
>>For Ambiance:
https://soundcloud.com/sithdemonic/sets/newwaveretro
Zone-6 (isolated scanner of worst area)
http://www.broadcastify.com/listen/feed/13262
#### #### #### #### #### #### #### ####
BACK THE BLUE
>>Get Behind the Vest donation drive:
http://www.getbehindthevest.org/
>Chicago cops aren't even issued fucking armor by their shithole city.
>>The Chicago Police Department Memorial Fund (ALSO GET SOME SWEET SWEET MERCH):
http://www.cpdmemorial.org/
#### #### #### #### #### #### #### ####
CHICAGO'S K/D RATIO:
>>Shootings ScoreboardS:
http://heyjackass.com
http://crime.chicagotribune.com/chicago/shootings/
http://crime.chicagotribune.com/chicago/homicides/
http://homicides.suntimes.com/
#### #### #### #### #### #### #### ####
>>Chicago Racial Demographics:
http://www.radicalcartography.net/index.html?chicagodots
>>Chiraq Gangland Map:
https://www.wbez.org/shows/wbez-news/in-chicago-gangs-abound-but-where-are-they/0d956c2e-171a-483a-8666-f5228d98812d
>>Police Codes:
http://www.bearcat1.com/radioil.htm
>>Chicago Police Dept. Directives:
http://directives.chicagopolice.org/directives/
>>Related twitter
https://twitter.com/spotnewsonig
https://twitter.com/hashtag/shitoemcsays
PASTEBIN: https://pastebin.com/pD418Eky
>not sure if copypasta is up to date
>>132678310
thank yu for pasta upgrade robert.
>>132677316
>OP is fubar'd
>Real Adam Hours Edition
Someone remember to add this to OP next bread: https://youtu.be/ohT9BhBz8G4
>>132678914
Added the link to my pastafile.
>not normal /cpd/ anon
>youths obstructing a parking spot
I thought parking vultures were strictly a uni campus phenom...
>spic-speaking Adam needed
>female screaming from inside a windowless van
Little early for the CandyVan, isn't it?
Evening, Adam
>Female screaming for help from a van
>ALMOST AN HOUR AGO
>>132679339
lack of 'cpd' in OP means this thread is not searchable by regulars and bread split will occur soon. Gonna sage for now and hope for fresh bread when I'm home from work in a few hours.
>>132680521
> lack of 'cpd' in OP means this thread is not searchable by regulars
Wrong.
REAL ROBERT HOURS IN 2 HOURS, 30 MINUTES
Check those keys, Adam!
>Male black inside the store complaining with a knife
Any other Chicago locals here? Old Irving, reporting in.
Was the FBI's jacked SUV ever found?
>http://time.com/4846546/chicago-gun-violence-july-fourth/
And to ruin Norbot's day:
>http://archive.is/MRS9A
here we go boys.
>>132681912
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/breaking/ct-teen-17-charged-in-connection-with-fbi-vehicle-theft-20170704-story.html
>A 17-year-old boy was arrested in the theft of an FBI -issued SUV that an FBI agent had left running at a Near West Side gas station early Monday, Chicago police said Tuesday evening.
>The teen, whose name has not been released, was charged as a juvenile with possession of a stolen motor vehicle, aggravated battery to a government employee and vehicular hijacking, according to police.
>Monday night, uniformed and plainclothes investigators huddled on Leavitt Street, where the SUV sat with its gas cap undone and a parking ticket on the window — less than a half-mile away from the FBI Chicago Field Office, visible from the area where the car had been abandoned.
>Authorities at that point hadn't searched inside the vehicle to see if any of the weapons were still inside. Instead, officers called for a tow truck to take it to be processed. Another vehicle was found earlier in the day with some of the gear inside, an official said.
No mentioning of the guns, though
>>132682222
woah, check this guys keys
>>132682392
Thanks, anon.
>sex with the garbage can
Did dispatch really say that just now or did I mishear?
MALE WHITE IS HAVING SEX WITH A GARBAGE CAN IN THE ALLEY <- RARE
SEX WITH GARBAGE CAN!!!!!
>>132683178
Life in Chicago truly is exciting.
>male black, shirtless, punching himself
Making meth great again...
>Male black screaming and punching himself
>>132683159
>>132683233
>sex with a garbage can.
confirmed ...haven't heard that one before
also from earlier this evening:
>this is now a homicide scene…
>I need you to check on this quick - explosive device. Caller says he came back from the War. He has a mortar and wants to turn it in.
> foot pursuit male black with dreds and a black cap …get him he’s wanted for a robbery a few days ago
I HAVE A CAR WITH AN EMERGENCY
A rock and a box cutter
>>132685520
What are items needed to fill out a scavenger hunt card, Alex.
Follow up on the man Robert reported was missing half his head on arrival the scene about 9:30 PM, July 4th...
>The man who died was hit in the face by an exploding firework as he peeked inside a mortar tube to figure out why nothing was coming out of it. (Chi Sun Times)
In memory of his life (and even more so his death) a posthumous Darwin Award is forthcoming.
>Dumpster is on fire
The game is officially on
>>132686731
The family will be pissed that Darwin Award doesn't come with a check.
And... Adam goes to lunch.
>That's why you could not hear me. Enjoy your lunch.
>O-ho-ho!
>She says boyfriend attacked her with a screwdriver
Hi it's my first thread and did I just hear there was a chick punched and attacked with a screw driver? Awesome.
I made a prediction before the weekend that the casualties will reach 10 dead and 70 + wounded. mfw they outdid themselves this year.
Oh, sassy!
>knock it off
>*Whistle on air*
>Sassy: "Knock it off!"
Adam, ffs
'Intoxicated, singing at the top of his lungs'. Was wondering where Freddie Mercury went.
>>132680685
eh, I'm stuck on mobile at work for a couple more hours and clover isn't returning any results for 'cpd'. glad it's working for proper web browsers though.
pic unrelated
THE WIFE HAS A KNIFE!
Also doing cocaine
>Wife has a knife, she is trying to stab the caller
>She has been doing cocaine
>>132687687
Is Adam the chadshift of Chicago PD?
>>132687556
Yeah, they are off to a good start this month.
>>132687452
Welcome anon. Hang around and get /comfy/
popped some popcorn, im ready boys
STRAW HAT BLACK MAN OHHHHH
>>132688349
Homeless too!
>tunes in
>immediately hears "black colored male"
Yep, that's Chicago alright.
>>132688364
weapons unknown as well. sheeeeeeeeeeeit
>brendon brandall
>need to notify family
there we go
>3 males fighting one female
Did I hear that right?
slow going so far
>>132688382
You missed male white having sex with a garbage can...
EVERYONE ON POST OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
>white man having sex with a garbage can
>his face is bleeding
Did she say he declined an ambulance?
>>132687452
Wait for Real Robert Hours, newfriend. Screwdriver assaults are an average tier of weird after 10pm CST.
>>132689347
now it's just kick back and do other shit times
Got it, good to know, thanks gents.
what the fuck was that morse code shit
>>132689603
Repeater's ID
jesus was that woman in a wind tunnel
>>132689347
Can confirm that. For example, not so long ago we had a gang of Mexican burglars armed with nail guns.
Whats up with all the garbage cans?
No shirt punching and urinating on garbage cans LMFAO
wait i don't get the robert meme, someone explain?
>>132690140
Part and parcel of living in Chicago
http://heyjackass.com/
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST REFRESHED AND 3 HOMICIDES POPPED UP
>>132690216
Originally, "Robert" is the codeword for policemen on night shift. Adam is daytime shift.
earlier in the day there was a homeless man
>taking items out of the garbage can and throwing them everywhere. holloween mask on his head w/ shopping cart
They are really giving the garbage cans hell this week.
>several males
>grey car
>no response
you know it
some policeman got confused by fireworks lmao
WAIT DID SOMEONE SAY "IM ABOUT TO DIE" what the fuck
>>132689398
I'm at work for a half-hour yet, but after the commute home I'll be digging into some lobster-bacon mac-n-cheese, beer, and Real Robert Hours™. Let's get comfy.
>two HUGE BIG Rottweilers blocking her door
>>132691537
ye this is kinda slow, im just gunna go make some shit.
>>132690650
unmarked car with task force?
>>132677316
Put CPD in the title and all you have to do to find the copypasta main body text is search "CPD 4chan" on a search engine.
If you can't make it right, don't make it at all.
>>132691537
thank you. i suck at this. but hey i tried. just trying to spread some awareness about how effective chiraq's gun laws are.
>daughter is posting plans about suicide on facebook
>25 y/o daughter posting plans of suicide on facebook
>>132691642
link new bread. thnaks
WE GOT A POTENTIAL SUICIDE
>>132692041
>>132692091
>>132692081
>>132692081
>>132692081
i meant food
>>132692091
Sounds like teen drama
>>132692081
I told everyone to migrant here since it was the newest. Put CPD in the title next time as that's what most people search for in the catalogue.
>>132688055
That was fucking awesome
>Several kinds in the alley
>Taking off a garage door
>>132692310
Kek I meant the oldest.
>kids in the alley stealing a garage door
Got a new entry for the strange thefts list.
>Foot chase
Norwegian? Thought this was Chicago, dammnit Aryans...
Male black about to get cuckd
>>132687902
Get 'em Adam
Fighting and shooting!
>people fighting and shooting
Get the autist speaking through its
ass off there
back
evening
jeez someone just wants to go home before the R O B E R T
Whats the time in Chiraq?
>>132693044
2133
hey a fire
SHOTS FIRED SHOTS FIRED
Its 4 am here, cant sleep. This is top tier entertainment
>>132693188
you should get comfy your bed anon, much better
>eight males in the back fighting with guns
Ooooh a gun fight in 3rd district
>8 males in the back yard fighting with guns
Wut?
jeez is columbus fucking death street
>ankle monitor
>gun with a laser sight
gun with a laser sight sike
>body removal
>Elderly crowd
someone reported hearing a conversation in the neighbor's back yard about shooting up something
>>132692310
searching cpd works. check that filename cerpico. my pasta is non existant tho.
>burglary
>fingerprints found on doors
sloppy niggas
>3 ambulances for a 2 car crash.
woah what the fuck
another shots fired, swellllll
>People are setting fireworks in the alley, underneath the power line
>>132693958
ruh roh raggy
and another
>body removal
fagget OP here, migrate yo asses to that new shit.
>truck crashes into a car
>tries to leave
>gets stuck
good job man
>>132693816
>>132694073
link?
>>132694157
i meant >>132694063
brb slitting my wrists
working late. real robert hours
>bleeding from legs, unknown cause
oh fuck
>missing person
dubble fuck
>not sure if hes still alive
BUENA NOCHE
>casual overdose
Real Robert Hours draw neigh, friends!
>man on grass, blood on forehead, caller passed by his body 10 minutes ago
17th
lmao, guy smoking drugs outside a walgreens with some kids
>>132694206
new bread seems real slow. i guess my shitty one reigns supreme for the time being.
new-->>132688628
theres the other one just in case.
He's setting up his crack pipe in front of Walgreens in front of children
>Male white, pipe smoking drugs in front of walgreens with children present
>male black setting up his pipe to smoke drugs near the Walmart
>>132694295
This is tame. Storm drain nigga last season was straight out of dystopian sci-fi.
HOLY FUCK SOME CHICK IS GETTING PUMMELED DURING A ROBBERY
>>132694615
wait what, tell me about him
>Spanish speaking Robert is required
>>132694809
necesito roberto jaja
wait why do they say good morning?
RRH imminent
>car occupied by 3 male blacks, going on expressway
>sirens in distance
are you ready kids
>>132694939
Some psychological trick, perhaps.
>>132695088
anyone have a stream of the local news there? if it turns into a chase it would be fun to watch
>car expired since january of '16
thats a heck of a fine
>>132695088
>it's got stolen plates
so some nigga owns a grey mercury, going on expressway, apparently a recurring topic.
stay comfy
>>132695088
MERCURY SABLE
I smell a chase
another recurring topic, blue car, stolen from a dude named john adam
delivery man left his vehicle and got his shit stolen
>male in alley, passed out
>people firing fireworks in alley under power line earlier
what is this a crossover episode
also its 10:00, robert time boys
>>132694708
Ask the other veterans of last summer for the long version. I finally finished the closing paperwork and cash count at work. Time to commute home before I post again.
Short version is:
>limp female body seen being dragged into storm drain
>>132694558
That's because I told everyone to migrate here. If you looked at that thread you would see that. Now you're linking people back to the thread that should be left to die confusing people. Just stop.
Lurk more.
>>132695627
could it be...
My theory is that the recurring stories about missing/loose chiuauas are code talk for something. Like the "gas leaks" or the "fridge fires", you know.
>>132680521
>average negro.gif
>so should we just mark it as "accident' or "missing"
the way she says that gives me a little chill
>>132694605
There are no WalMarts in Chicago
>Ex child's mother
... so an adult?
>dispute with the ex child's mother
>she's trying to spray him with mace
>someone is laying in the grass
>what
ye he's laying in the grass
also they found the john adam car
>man disoriented, says something about a man with a gun
pew pew
>Two gangbangers
Whoahwoah
>2 gangbanging sisters harrassing people in the parking lot
>fellow officer says "good lord'
stay classy chicago
>no cars available to a police officer
PLOT ELEMENT
>Locking a pupper in a mini-van
OVER THE LINE
>"fireworks?"
yikes
>>132696729
death row
I haven't heard any mysterious drone sightings around crime scenes lately.
>>132696089
right
>>132696651
First they dont get armor, now they dont need cars either apparaently
s a v e t h a t p u p
>>132688055
I think Adams mainly comprise newbies. I stand to be corrected, but it seems like Adams sometimes lack basic survival skills, and only the survivors move on to become Roberts.
Can I get a quick rundown? Was the 4th of July episode pretty intense? Sadly I missed it. Is tonight anygood?
>>132696651
This has happened a few times before.
>>132696858
put a fucking newcomer on robert, they gunna be dead come sunrise
>>132696862
tonight isn't as good if you read the mango
otherwise it's mild
>>132696862
Mainly trash can related stff, but we got a gang shooting
>>132696862
If sex with a garbage can falls under 'good' in your dictionary, then tonight is good.
Damn, lit fireworks.
Lol guy just threw fireworks into a bar
>>132697052
>sex with a trash can
lol wut? How is that even possible?
>>132697238
holes.
>>132697052
>sex with a garbage can tonight
>making out with a lamp post last night
This is just getting silly.
i wonder if theres a way to stir shit up from out of state- legally
BANTZ
Is Sassy Black Intern working tonight?
>>132697308
eh
>>132697393
just hire a hitman but drop a tip where he's gunna be, not legal
632 West Anderson St
someone go check out the domestic abuse
>>132697393
call in bomb thread to unos pizzeria
>hammer whales?
wait what the fuck did that policewoman say
>>132697017
I think that Adam apprentices should be assigned to a Robert for at least 2 weeks in order to give them an idea of what it's like at night. I genuinely sorry for Adams, because they are only getting the view of daylight and evenings' end instead of the brutal reality of Real Robert Hours.
>>132697393
re-elect trump?
>landlord keeps blacks on the outside of his doors
?
>>132697754
Locks
>>132697393
>i wonder if theres a way to stir shit up from out of state- legally
search the facbook live map in chicago, report criminal activity
>unknown black man in blue jeans at college door
he just needs to get his homework
WE GOT WEEEEEEEEEDDDDDD ON THE PLAYGROUND!
>Pot in the playground
>More fireworks
>smoking weed and lighting fireworks in a playground
sounds like a good time
Caning the little girls too! The fuck is wrong with this city?!
>>132677316
Who's the dispatch tonight?
>12 year old granddaughter ran out when she was getting beaten with a switch
>>132697893
honestly though, why do drug users be as highkey as possible.
do they want to go to jail?
>10 year old girl leaves home after being beat with a switch(like a stick)
yea no fucking shit what the fuck do you think
>>132697926
Hey Discount Sweden, What are you doing listening at this time of night? its like 3 in the morning in Norway
robert in other thread asked for bingo cards if you are here,
>>132698119
its 5:26
Fucked up sleeping schedule
>>132698158
Morse code whaaaaaaaat
>>132698119
Norway is premium sweden
im just curious, is it legal to be listening to this?
drinking challenge, take a shot every time they say 10-4
>>132698277
it's apparently the reciever's code
>>132698224
What is tommorow like? Do I survive?
>>132698004
idk but she sounds kinda plane jane yet experienced. not very sassy at all.
>>132698277
Repeater ID I think.
>>132698305
true
>>132698277
I've heard that several times the past few nights I've listened.
It's "sos"
the grand daughters fathers brother is trying to take the daughters.....and he's got jack daniels..
>>132698331
>im just curious, is it legal to be listening to this?
Why the fuck not?
>>132698265
i think ill start filling that shit out
>>132698331
>im just curious, is it legal to be listening to this?
Yes.
>>132698332
Male black stabbs u 23 times in alley while lighting fireworks
anyone have an ideo of how long the delay is? gotta be 30 sec to a min atleast.
>>132698331
no the feed is actually owned by cpd and this is a bootleg stream u are supposed to buy it on itunes
>another gangbanger outside a restaurant
3rd one today
Shit Wendy's mafia is out in Chicago!
>male black in a wendy's uniform trying to drag black female into a van
>black men dragged a girl in a wendy's costume into a van
OHHHHHHHHH SHITTTTT
>Male black kinda dragged a female into a van
getting crazy....female with a gun in a wendy's uniform taking another female into a van...
>>132698711
>>132698720
>>132698721
>>132698762
i think we may not be on the same page
i probably heard that wrong....
>>132698798
>male black dragging Wendy into a uniformed van
>>132698798
used the one in op's post
>>132698798
I heard a male black with a gun is trying to drag a girl in a Wendy's uniform into a green van.
Is it a good night?
Not tired and seems like a /comfy/ thing to listen to while reading.
>>132698700
>>132698711
>>132698720
>>132698721
>>132698762
>>132698798
>>132698874
>>132698905
all very possible in chiraq
>>132698720
>>132698721
>>132698762
>>132698798
>Man in Clown Suit known to locals as 'Ronald' seen dragging Wendy's employee into van
>lining up beer cans and pulling down pants
Pulling his pants up and down, lighting up Beer cans. Black Male
>black male pulling his pants up and down
there we go
>male black
>lining up beer cans
>pulling his pants up and down
>Pulling hes pants up and down lmao
>male black playing peak a boo pee pee
>>132699046
Please call him by his proper name. Male Black
>>132684843
fuck me, wish I'd heard the one about screwing a garbage can
>>132699052
thats become my favorite card. an anon suggested it a few nights ago. only had 2 dud streets i fixed last night. pretty easy to get a coverall in a couple hours
>4 male black standing on the corner, stopping people, trying to get into their pockets
Do we ever get to see the elusive Male White?
my install just finished, all righttttt
but im staying here don't worry roberts
>>132698798
http://www.broadcastify.com/listen/feed/763/web
What's with all the political shit in these threads nowadays? While I can't be excused, political shit seems to be trying to overtake the comfy atmosphere. Is this a slide technique? I am genuinely curious.
>>132699546
i didn't hear nuffin
male white intoxicated!
>>132699546
What political stuff?
>>132699546
Political whut
>>132699623
>>132699687
>>132699696
>falling for the eternal leaf
come on guys..
>>132699546
Typical.
>>132699391
My old lunch break card .
I work days.
CPD is just as good @ 8 a.m. on the subway.
>12 y/o female missing
lol
>>132699659
>male white enters the ring!
Wait, male robbed at gunpoint WHILE waiting for police?
>>132699881
thats an under 30 min card haha, good idea robert
jesus christ how are there so many reports involving guns i thought guns were illegal in chiraq????? WTF
someone redpill me on what robert means
>>132700150
kek
>>132700183
Police officer
>>132700150
>implying that'll stop illegal guns
shots fired!
fuck it's hitting a rough patch
>>132700183
Its code for people working night shift
>>132700183
>>132695041
Nice art, yo. :-)
>>132700253
U missed a bunch
>>132700230
Robert has been working on this recently
The ambient stream isn't playing music for me :(
>>132700230
>>132700473
which ones
>2 PEOPLE SHOT
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
>>132700486
wadcutters
kek
Adam is still on the clock? I thought it was real Robert hours
>>132700253
50 y/o having seizure
OD
>>132700500
Try to hit "Next"
>>132700565
it ain't clean cut robert until 12
>all we got is 2 people shot
thats it i guess
>>132700643
Just pulled up the two links separately. Thank you though, anon
>>132700611
cheers
>bf and gf argueing again
hm
>>132700643
just play a utube vid of resident evil save room music-extended of course. that's what i do. really adds a racCOON city vibe to the radio chatter.
>>132677528
Robert will be the man to make first contact. But jokes aside, that is one hell of a get....
>>132699888
Is it the same one who ran off when she was getting beaten by grandma?
wait does lake refer to lake shore?
>>132700913
10-4
>>132700965
idk I missed the beating
>>132700985
no they will saw lake shore.
god fuck this city, everyone who lives in that shit hole should be instantly vaporized its the only solution
>>132700965
Must be
>>132700985
lake st = ≠ lake shore drive
>>132701120
>>132701211
thanks
Im eating a big bowl of VANILLA BEAN icecream and listening to the tales of Robert vs. MALE BLACK while snuggled in a warm blanket.
Who else /comfy/ here?
Event one seven six three two, anyone know what it means?
Enjoy one of my Chicago pics Roberts.
t. the unfortunate faggot still in this state
bumb limit reech'd.
thanks for rollin' with me on the warmup hours.
new bread
>>132688628
>>132688628
>>132688628
>>132688628
>>132701411
>Im eating a big bowl of VANILLA BEAN icecream
i havent eaten ice cream in over 5 years. stuck eating mixed nuts with a spritz of coconut oil covered in tony chacheries
>>132699999
1
>>132701659
That sounds tasty. I like Cajun spices, too.
Why not eat your favorite ice cream just once a week?
>>132701472
Chicago is honestly gorgeous.too bad the crime and other shit ruins it.
I wanted to move there but I've already live in STL.
ROBERT IS GONNA KICK SOME NIGLET ASS!!!!
>>132701411
I'm drinking an IPA coz it's summer, and feeling that chiraq is a zombie-infested war zone, as always. I'm /comfy/ in that I'm far away from it.
>>132701967
i dont do cheat days, i used to eat really unhealthy and i made a commitment to never eat that way again. i make a mean egg custard with cashew milk, and drink a lot of iced coffee so i get my sweet fix
>>132696862
http://abc7chicago.com/news/cpd-conducting-raids-across-city-in-effort-to-curb-holiday-violence/2181950/
Thanks to Robert's diligence and undying efforts to reclaim his city, this year's 4th was pretty mellow compared to last year. Usual insane shit continues on normal nights where the city didn't approve extra funding.
>mfw captcha had "Walnut St"
>>132701659
>Tony's
Fuck that stuff is god tier. Goes great on almost everything.
>>132702663
i qill post pic in other thread, they make an extra spice one now
>>132688628
>>132688628
Post count is 315+. Time to migrate Robert.
>>132688628
>>132688628
>>132690331
Robert hunts and keeps us safe from MALE BLACK. welcome to CPD scanner
>>132700106
Funny thing is .
during the day..
it is " Who the fuck is ADAM "
and his nemesis is male/ BROWN.
lunch time Bingo can be hard..
>>132697993
If >>132698008 is an accurate quote, it sounds like based grandparents opening a much needed old fashioned can of whoopass on some mouthy little skank.
>>132702364
That sounds like a good idea. Is there a resource for always eating healthy but tasty food?