CDN Morning News: Poor-ada Edition

CAN'T WAKE UP.

Too Loud-ada

>Scientists urge Canada to limit underwater noise to save B.C. killer whales

http://www.metronews.ca/news/vancouver/2017/04/12/scientists-urge-canada-to-limit-ship-noise-to-save-orcas.html

I'm just picturing your typical "get off my lawn" old man, but with whales and water
>Stop being so god damned loud in the ocean, whales are sleeping!

Chinada

>China sees free trade with Canada as way to avoid future Norsat-like uncertainty

http://www.metronews.ca/news/canada/2017/07/05/china-sees-free-trade-with-canada-as-way-to-avoid-future-norsat-like-uncertainty.html


Canada's largest trading partner is no longer USA, it's China.
Correct your meme lines, leafs
>Darrrrrrrrrrrrr, we are Chinas BIGGEST trading partner

It get's better
>OTTAWA — China is hoping a future free-trade deal with Canada will help it avoid future controversies such as the national security concerns that surfaced over a Chinese takeover of a Canadian satellite technology company.

Canadian get's scholarship to play football in America!!
Go show them god damned 'Mericans, how us leafs play football eh??

http://www.metronews.ca/news/toronto/2017/07/04/meet-the-young-gta-football-player-whos-too-big-to-fail.html

Diallo credits basketball for his mobility and occasionally practises with the school’s basketball team to stay in shape. He said he earned the right after one of their basketball players doubted his skills based on his size and Canadian passport.
“I’m just a kid from Eastern Commerce, and we know how to play,” he said with a chuckle. “I punched (dunked) the ball down, looked at him and was like: ‘Yeah, I’m from Canada.’”


He\s sure showin them eh??
GO CA-NA-DA!!!!!!

>>132470020
>“I punched (dunked) the ball down, looked at him and was like: ‘Yeah, I’m from Canada.’”


Canadians are such cringey fucking losers.

THEY TOOK DOWN SIGNS IN THE AIRPORT THAT HAD INSULTS FOR COWS.

THEY DID IT SO THE COWS WOULDN'T FEEL BAD. THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO SEXUALLY IDENTIFY AS BOVINES.

First Fort McMurray. now Calgary

>Fire advisory issued for forest west of Calgary

http://www.metronews.ca/news/calgary/2017/07/04/fire-advisory-issued-forest-west-of-calgary-alberta-safety.html

Considering the one at Fort McMurray got so out of control, it was the biggest forest fire in recorded Canadian history, this one will probably engulf Calgary while Trudy gets Amazonian Fire Takers from the Rain Forests of Brazil


One of you memesmiiths needs to make Trudy laughing over a burning Calgary

>>132470249
>RE ARE PEOPLE WHO SEXUALLY IDENTIFY AS BOVINES.

They're called Canadian women............
OHHHHHHHH

No joke, the hottest girls at my work at mutts. Half breeds of Portuguese/French of Italian/French

>>132470780
*are mutts
Like mixes. Not ugly.

Gotta include Canada somehow, when talking about America and 4th of July
>Thus, both Canadians and Americans are in the midst of fumbling about for a new kind of way to mark our histories. A less fragile national ego. A less deluded image of ourselves.


http://www.metronews.ca/views/opinion/2017/07/04/america-must-face-its-truth-on-fourth-of-july.html


Oh ya, Happy 4th of July to all the American readers (if any). I know it was yesterday, but I'm jealous of your true freedom. Which I'll never experience cause Im Canadian till I die............

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>>132470477
>One of you memesmiiths needs to make Trudy laughing over a burning Calgary

DONE. FRESH OC.

FEEL FREE TO APPROPRIATE THIS MEME COMRADE.

Halifax,about to get R-E-K-T hard
>A slippery slope:' Halifax regional council gives top bureaucrat more spending power

http://www.metronews.ca/news/halifax/2017/07/04/halifax-council-gives-top-bureaucrat-more-spending-power.html


A Boomer with no spending cap or oversights??
LOL
Halifax is done.

>>132471256
That's fucking awesome. Quick work too. Impressive.

15/10

Saved

>>132471502
these threads have better production value than the canadian msm.

We could pay even an indian in a suit to read our threads on camera, but we'd get him to do it for $3 and it would actually be enjoyable to watch.

Not gonna lie, if you can figure out how to accept you're Canadian, it can be pretty funny around here.
Drunks and addicts are characters, that's for sure............
Can get away with tons of shit too, if you know how "act Canadian"
LOL

>>132470780
>>RE ARE PEOPLE WHO SEXUALLY IDENTIFY AS BOVINES.
>They're called Canadian women............

never thought of it that way. the idea that some fat women got offended is totally plausible in canada. And since it was people who got offended on 'behalf of cows' who had the signs pulled, it is not far fetched it all.

>>132471808
I'd should start a crowdfunded. I'll get tons of IOUs

LOL

Cause Canadians are poor!
HA HA HA

>>132472069
Lots of fat women in Canada...................

All the sitting around from winter and bottom tier USA food.

Maybe leaf women are hot, just too fat.
Any girl goes from a 0-4 to a 6-8 after dropping half a person

>"So Much For China Working With Us": Trump Slams China On N.Korea Trade

It seems while the rift is growing between the USA and china, the 'head dude' of canada keeps getting deeper into bed with them - and the 'mericans aren't liking it.

Will Canadians #ISTANDWITHCHINA, only time will tell.

>>132472474
China is buying Canada, to have a base closer to USA.

I'm not a parent, I donno, but it seems like "paying attention to your child" isn't a thing with "parents" anymore

>Health Canada probes Banana Boat sunscreen after multiple burn complaints

http://www.metronews.ca/news/vancouver/2017/07/04/health-canada-testing-banana-boat-sunscreen-products-as-complaints-mount.html

These poor babies. Like what the fuck? Yoiu're not looking at your baby or something??
How do you let your baby get that sun burned??

>>132472565
There more economic interests they have the more they can and will justify military, influence and intelligence operations.

Canada would need US help to defenestrate at this point.

>>132472894
>DUUUUUUUUUH I put sun screen on the baby, it's should be FINE!!! I was having wine with my bestie at the beach LAWLZ
>Sun screen is like putting my baby under a tent


How did the human race live this long??????
Im not fucking kidding. Humans are dumb as shit.
I got my theories on what "we" are, but those are /X tier and too red pilled for any of you.

>>132469174
what a fucking cringe thread

go swallow some Roundup the next time youre considering posting this shit

saged

>>132472954
Hopefully Chinada is a lot nicer than Canada'

Hell, the Chinese SKI INDOORS. They built mountains to ski on, INSIDE BUILDINGS!!!

I'm sure they can figure out how to make Canada, like California.

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>>132473326

>>132473365
Canada is a California!!! A progressive cesspool of smug assholes!

Even if you win, you lose in Canada.............

>Ottawa won the Grey Cup, but lost money doing it

http://www.metronews.ca/news/ottawa/2017/07/04/ottawa-lost-financially-winning-the-grey-cup-.html

They're basically whining about how much money they need to spend, cause they are playing for the Grey Cup

LOL

>Wahhhhhhhhhh, couldn't you have just lost, so I could keep my profits??

These people hate anything out of their comfort zone of doing nothing and getting paid

>>132473601
Minus the weather, geography and our country is in one state, ya it's similar.


Like Imagine leafette you play vidya with, lived in the same state,like maybe 6 hours drive max, not half way across the 2nd largest country on the planet.

Wow, someone at the Toronto Sun has some balls

http://www.torontosun.com/2017/07/04/canada-rewards-terrorists-israel-punishes-them

I saw this headline and 2 things popped into my mind
>Chinese
and
>Vancouver

Ferrari driver clocked at 210 km/h on Lions Gate Bridge

http://www.torontosun.com/2017/07/04/ferrari-driver-clocked-at-210-kmh-on-lions-gate-bridge

Ain't no Canadian, driving no Ferrari LOL

Just what the fuck.................the headline is enough for me.
What is WRONG with some people???

>Calgary woman accused of fatally dragging a dog tied to vehicle

http://www.torontosun.com/2017/07/04/calgary-woman-charged-after-deadly-dog-dragging

For out international readers, this is what TOP TIER Leafettes look like

http://www.torontosun.com/sunshine-girl/2017/06/29/katie


They use to put the "SunShine Girl" on page 3.
This is a true story, I'm not making this up. When I was in grade 6, our class took some field trip to the newspaper place and all the girls in the class just kept asking
>Why is the girl on page 3? Women aren't objects
>Why is there no "sun shine boy" ?
And just tons of shit like that. They even wrote an editiorial on how empowered the girls where and put the SUnShine girl all the way in the back

Here's an idea women, STFU. Seriously.

canadian women don't shower often. they have the stinkiest gashes.

>>132476040
Girls at my work start getting sassy? I just straight up tell em
> I don't wanna hear it. Shut up and go away

Call me "Iceberg Slim". So tired of hearing women talk. You're dumb. Your ideas are terrible. Just shut up.

>>132476232
Sadly, this can be confirmed by myself.........
"Dated" some girl for a few days and she did not shower or even change he clothes.
Also had a facebook full of beta orbiters ready to smash to unshowered pussy in a flash.

I told that to a girl friend of mine, and she was like "what, didn't shower for 2 days or something?"
I said "I shower every day. Twice sometimes.........."
Even she didn't shower daily...........

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>This is Karenza & she has bipolar disorder. Go inside her mind & witness her internal struggle, shown through dance.

CBC think nothing of using a mentally ill woman for content, putting her on display for clicks under the guise of 'raising awareness'.

Despicable.

Reptilian as fucccc.

I hate old people and talk a lot of shit, but this is too much.................

>Caught on video: Elderly Ottawa man with dementia punched in face 11 times by personal support worker

http://www.torontosun.com/2017/07/04/caught-on-video-elderly-ottawa-man-with-dementia-punched-in-face-11-times-by-personal-support-worker


Just DIE!!! Just fucking die! Save yourself the wrath of us youth.

>How-To: Make a doctor's note against intolerance and normalize BDSM.
http://www.notgivingyoufucksanyclicks.com

CBC: the brain tumour killing canada

Good news everybody, one group of criminals is losing power to another group of criminals

>Ontario's Libs losing their Toronto stronghold: Poll

http://www.torontosun.com/2017/07/02/ontarios-libs-losing-their-toronto-stronghold-poll

>>132477522
>CBC
Canadian Brainwashing Corporation

I haven't posted any CBC links today.
The SUN across Canada is owned by postmedia inc

CBC is funded by the tax payer and government run.

Where does this money keep coming from??
>Liberals to spend $2.1-billion on trade, U.S. border congestion

http://www.torontosun.com/2017/07/04/liberals-to-spend-21-billion-on-trade-us-border-congestion

>>132478099
BILLIONS IS A LOT OF MONEY on this planet.

A thousand millions.

They just keep pulling these sums out of thin air it seems.

Ontario is 281 BILLION IN DEBT

FIX THAT FIRST EH??

>>132477807
>I haven't posted any CBC links today.

I try to never do it. They are so full of shit that you can invent CBC headlines and people believe it's legit.

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>Canadians were never white, experts say

>"...as we unpack things further we start to see that whiteness is a social construct imposed on others, we cannot know what past Canadians identified as due to a lack of data and when we account for implicit bias we can see that white identifying whites are a minority in our history""

http://www.cbc.ca/whites-need-to-go-fucking-die

>>132477155
80 something years old, dementia, literal vegetable, can take 11 shots in the face and still keep ticking.

The Canadians that survived are hard as fuck, but dumb as shit and useless...............

>>132478367
CBC is great for satire, which is basically "my thing" with these threads.

Boomers getting a taste of their own medicine

>Couple being pushed out of home vows 'they'll have to take us out in handcuffs'

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/high-park-development-bateman-rental-1.4189435

>He said they have spent "well over" $60,000 on renovations to their unit over the years, and that they are intent on finishing their life out in the same home in which their 26-year-old son was born.

What kind of retard, sinks that kind of money into a rental property??
It's not YOURS, dummy..........
He could've had a down payment, plus his monthly rent of 35 years, and OWNED his own home.

It's NOT YOURS dummy............

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Canada: A Nation that Exists Via Superfluousness and Extraneous Circumstances

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvlxpdwojnQ

black pigeon is hitting homers with this one. covers the demographic shift crimes the post modernist is trying to perpetrate.

>>132479214
Let's archive it https://archive.is/Ldf1o

>>132470148
You're a prime example

ANALYSIS :
Why will Omar Khadr receive $10.5M? Because the Supreme Court ruled his rights were violated

http://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/omar-khadr-settlement-analysis-aaron-wherry-1.4189472


OKAY?????
It's FINE!!!!!
Just shut up!!!

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>>132479572

so this...is the power of leafposting..

Canadians DIDN'T live like Pioneers!!!!

>Auto sales hit one-million mark by midway point of year for first time

http://www.cbc.ca/news/business/car-sales-2017-1.4190753

That goal was done in like the 1920s by American Automakers....................

>>132473326
This its two guys jerking each other off its fucking hilarious

>>132480363
i mod r/canada in between circle jerks

>>132469174
but they can take care of worthless shitskin refugees and that's what counts!

>>132479574
lol, Canadians now paying immigrants who kill US soldiers. NORTH WALL WHEN?

>>132480660
>>132480800

ur just jellous.

>>132480800
Cheeze em............

Seems too costly. Most of Canada is empty. One of the largest borders in the world.

Just invade us and make us a State like Puerto Rico.

There's only 35 million of us and rougly 20 million are 65 and over

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DAILY REMINDER; More than Half of ALL Canadians will be dead in 40-50 years.

>Canadian seniors now outnumber children for 1st time, 2016 census shows

http://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/2016-census-age-gender-1.4095360
https://archive.is/Tp6xF

>More Canadians are 65 and over than under age 15, StatsCan says

http://www.cbc.ca/news/business/statistics-canada-seniors-1.3248295
https://archive.is/i3qW1

>>132481337
Someone please vaporwave that.
Feel free to make a better version.

WHO seriously wants to be annexed???

http://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/websites-youth-trudeau-employment-skills-focus-groups-education-digital-1.4190076

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau may be Canada's youth minister, but new research suggests his government has failed to connect with young people about education, jobs, skills and training.

>Prime Minister
>Youth Minister

He's obsessed with being "the cool prime minister who all the young kids like"

Let's start a meme campaign to convince Trudy to get Canada annexed by USA.
We will use precision strike tactics of exploiting Trudys weaknesses of autism and wanting to be liked,

I'm out for today.
Feel free to keep the thread going with your own links

Just remember
>No matter, how you live kid, we all die alone.

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>>132481424