/CPD/ - Chicago Police Scanner Thread: Endless July 4th Carnage

>really bad backlog

>really bad --- over here

Anyone catch that?

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>>132441177
>>132441144

Ah that works, checked

>>132441028
Who's that girl? She sounds like she really cares about Robert and the other guys out there.

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>>132441297
Some dispatchers have souls.

>>132441144
>>132441177
THIS THREAD IS CHOSEN

We have a really bad backlog.

>>132441144
>>132441177
kek makes me stay here. Jesus Robert here again.

>>132441297
scratchy dispatch?? or cutie dispatch???

>don't know where they were shot
>don't know their condition
>going to stroeger now to find out

>>132441377
Cutie

we have a thread on deck. Stay here and we will migrate @300
>>132441053

i'll watch it and keep it bumped

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Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fa39QC7rDHs

I'll ask again, where is pic robert? Anyone seen him? I wanna work on my gimp skills.

>>132441446
< This. Save my thread for bump limit

>>132441421
cutie dispatch is new as far as I know. hopefully she can maintain the optomism

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AYO IS DIS DA BANG THREAD

>>132441508
Hopefully she doesn't get burned out and become Crabby or Sassy.

>>132441487
i'll keep it bumped for you so it doesnt archive

OHHHH FUCCKKKKKKK 10-1 10-1
OFFICER DOWN OFFICER DOWN!!!!!!

>>132441508
Do you know if the police here get payed a fuckton more than a police in some quiet neighborhood? If they don't they should

>>132441598
You're fired

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>>132441446
>>132441487
Nice teamwork. Stay comfy, Robert.

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>>132441378
Truly the hero we need.

cutie dispatch makes it comfy

>>132441421
Crabby, Sassy, and Cutie. What a dream team.

>>132441632
they get paid literally shit. I think median for Chicago is mid 40k a year. not sure tho

>>132441549
Yea senpai dis da thred ma nigga.

>>132441632
Their median salary is $56k. Not much at all for a big city and the amount of work they do.

>>132441377
Cuttie/shy dispatch is adorable :3

>>132441643
it came over dispatch 10-1 10-1 officer needs assistance. I didn't bullshit

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>>132441672
>>132441421
latina dispatch best dispatch
>when she rolls her Rs

>>132441660
i like this one

>>132441783
You must be like 10 minutes behind. We heard it earlier.

CHECK YO KEYS NIBBA

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>>132441741
Especially for the danger. Holy shit can you imagine dealing with this niggers every day for that money?

>>132441741
56k is nothing. there are super nice areas in north texas paying 60-80k.

>what if we started monitoring face_book live videos in chicago and reporting them?

>>132441863
well fuck. will check my keys. ty robert

weed lmao

>caller says a male is kicking at her door
>neighbors playing loud music, drinking and smoking dude weed

>>132441873
There's always the chance you get to shoot a few so theres that.

was that morse code?

>>132441787
>see the way you move
>gotta make you sweat
>gotta make you groove

>>132441921
Or Periscope streams.

>>132441921

I was earlier just watching coons repeat "we out here" and "WHattup Live"

>>132441954
it is said you get a secondhand buzz just from walking outside at Diversity street

>caller says she was beaten up and is bleeding from the head

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>>132441921
11/10 idea would actually do that.

wow a fairly responsible parent.

>>132441982
It said "happy 4th of July, Roberts!" God bless you and America

Robert drives a distressed lady and her kid home bc shes had too much to drink. Robert protects and serves

>>132441873

I'm sure they get a lot of over time, which may or may not be a good thing.

>>132442063

It's Diversy

>>132442126
what a swell lado!

>>132442063
good one, Robert
i needed a chuckle

>male kicking at a door

>try bruh

>>132441921
That would require making and using a facespace acct. However, I'd happily watch the content if others mule'd it back here.

Lol 933 Robert is a jolly ol guy

>>132441464
someone a couple of threads ago said he got caught posting by his Sgt and no more since

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>ywn patrol the streets with your fellow Roberts while forgetting to check your keys.

>Breaking each others shit

Grey Goose back.

>TEEENNNNNNNNN FOUR!

933... what a guy

doggo lives matter

>overly fake cheery singing Robert
Sometimes we all snap, it's ok man....it's ok.
>missing black lab named shadow : (

that Robert is super happy.

>>132442070
On that note, should we compile all of our Robert memes in a series of hardcover books and send them to CPD

>>132442314

He was here tonight? Also, PICROBERT IS A COP!?

>>132441916
can confirm
lateral officers to Irving start 70's and get a great pension
and no niggers to deal with

>>132441921
Honestly have considered doing something like this. I think its about time we started helping Robert more. We've become familiar enough with the system

Lots of couples fighting tonight. Weve got a few alleys and a white 4 door suv fight.

>>132442408
Yes. As a big thankyou.

>>132442314
>Sgt was on 4chan

>>132442430
another texasbro? happy 4th bub

>large group of guys beating two females in the street

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>>132442326
fug you and your comic sans, robert ;_;

5 dudes beating up 2 females whattt?

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>>132442314
This Robert?

>>132442382 The brand new legend

>>132442430
Was literally gonna say one of my buddies started there 2 years ago.

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>>132442417

>males fighting females in the street
>shots fired at 64 Campbell
>caller says she heard 10 shots
>large crowd at Wood

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wew after midnight the shots fired calls have really ramped up

>>132442408
Hahaha....The idea of a meet up with a rented armored car outfitted with cameras, a hotel command center, and other autism like delivering dispatch food were talked about.....why not make it. they could make the nogs they lock up look at while they wait to be processed.

>>132442636
10:00 Real Robert Hours
12:00 Real Nigger Hours

>victim #1 has a gunshot wound to the head
>victim #2 has a gunshot to the thigh
>he got shot twice

It's headshot night.

>>132442396
Fucking fireworks.

>Shot in the foot
kek

>footshot

>>132442608

I'm talking about the namefag PicRobert

>>132442666
hiya satan. I was anon that recommended buying a used brinks truck to tour Chicago in lol. would make for some amazing experiences for sure

>tfw She can't walk doggers.

>>132442666
>you will NEVER bring cute dispatch a bucket of chicago's finest friend chicken wings, her eyes lighting up as she realizes her work doesnt go unappreciated

very unsatanic post

>>132442310
It's the adderall.

>>1324427 how many homicides is that

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>>132442636

>>132442516
>>132442570
been here all night guys
Im the fag who fucked up and posted CNN shit in last thread
see Im really not a shill

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>>132442809
This was the last pic he took. He won't be posting here any more...

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>>132442666
whoa, Kek finds this a devilish idea

>this nig is going to blow up a dumpster /livemap#@41.837040624,-87.689659118,10z

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>>132442947
Still don't care. Check your keys, Robert.

>>132442952

God damn. I never realized PicRobert was that fucking epic. I memed on a lot of his pictures.

>>132442786

I met a lady once who was shot in the foot, and lost her leg nearly up to the knee. I think it got infected, and she must have had the shittiest ghetto insurance.

She was shot waiting at the bus stop. Yes she was Black.

>>132442666
every used armored car sell site I can find doesn't list prices REEEEEE

>2 females fighting outside an unknown vehicle

>battery in progress
>2 females

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>>132442952
I got the other angle

>>132443164
http://www.commercialtrucktrader.com/listing/2004-Gmc-C6500--122138183

NOT OVER THE AIR YOU FOOL!

>>132442558
needs a badge present in pic

>>132443151
yea picrobert was very prolific for quite a while. should have a gallery showing of the work done. any artfags here? get a gallery showing of CPD prints for the bullet proof vest fund??

>just tuned in
Can someone give me a quick rundown?

>>132442947
don't admit when you do a naughty

>>132443293
The potential

>PURSUIT
>SOUTH ON LUMIS?

>two GSWs

>>132442818
Would be an interesting OC event that's for sure.
>>132442902
>tfw you'll never have sassy hate fuck you to remove the stress of work
>>132442988
Would *you* want to be in jail and left nothing to do but look at a book of meme's of you going to jail?
>>132443164
I think we'd have to rent one somehow. We'd need to protect the external cameras from nog attacks.

>>132442947
If you really are, I'll reply to you a 5th time. Stop fucking posting

>>132442666
You guys are always welcome at my apartment for a Chicago command center

the 4th isn't over until adam gets back

>>132443293
35k is pretty cheap. get 10 anons to throw in and outfit it with cameras. prolly get some tech help from g and comfy tips from DIY. very doable

> White floppy hat with a white shirt

boys im too drunk for this

>male black, floppy hat

>male white with a floppy hat

>>132443531
I'm down for a 2018 4th of july /pol/ Chicongo safari. What's the rules on body armor while driving around in a car with cameras?

offender fled in a gran prix. truly the niggerest of cars, tied with the Chrysler 300

>2 male asians and a female asian

R A R E

>male Asian dangling another male Asian

>Hanging someone over a bridge

wtf

>>132443672
I don't think there are any restrictions on body armor in the US

>DANGLED OVER BRIDGE BY ANKLES

Our men and women in blue are rapidly overdosing on red pills. Let us all pray for their swift recovery.

that chick spounded like an ingin.

>two male asians and a female asian in some kind of altercation
>larger male was dangling the smaller one over the kennedy by his feet

This night has been everything I expected and more.

Triads mean business

oh shit MALE ASIAN. truly a rare find

>>132443803
*sounded

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>>132443555
i got 5 on it.

>>132443775

We triads now

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>>132443703
what is it with niggers and boxy Chryslers

Chink dangling over the drink.

>>132443892
/b/roken

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>>132443314
>constant fireworks complaints till midnight or so
>more shots fired than anyone can count
>male shot four times, still coherent, requesting help
>stolen construction vehicle (occupant with AR-15)
>YOU'RE CUTTING EACH OTHER OFF AND I'M NOT DEALING WITH IT
>more shots fired
>teenagers too intoxicated to turn car on
>block party, loud music and disco lights
>more shots fired
>more street fights
>more shots fired

>>132443963
kek

> Caitlin Westig on a boat called summertime

>a boat called Summertime

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OH SHIT GOOGLES STEALIN A BOAT GOIN BACK TO AFRICA

>>132443957
cheap as fuck. they buy em from the auctions usually. do zero real work to it and just put a cheap lift and 30 inch rims on em.

>someone being helf over the side of a bridge by the ankles.

>>132443555
This would more or less be /pol/ making our own cops like program show....only we'd have autism and somehow we'd jew out for a super chat.

>>132443786
Body Armor Law in Illinois. However, it is illegal to for individuals to wear body armor while in possession of a dangerous weapon, other than a firearm, during the commission or attempted commission of any offense.
>legal to have lv3 hard plates on a SUV convo of televised autism.

>>132443892
is it bad that I know octopussy's actual name?

>>132444043

We kicked off with a machete attack around 6:30

>>132444119
We could film it - they say the addresses. Who here's the best fastest driver?

>>132444043
thanks, just as I expected

>>132444043
Dont forget every trash can and abondoned house is on fire as well.

Also groups/hordes pf people fighting in allys

Constantly checking keys

>First name Jamon
Literally Ham.

>>132444171
Octobutthole just doesn't have the same ring does it

>>132444119
so aslong as we have no weapons we can wear all the armor we want? I mean we gonna be in a brinks truck to begin with so no need to have weapons

>>132444171
Maud Adams?

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>>132443314
>garbage can on fire
>alley on fire
>"fuckin America baby"
>kids shooting a gun in the school parking lot
>caller heard glass breaking and female screaming for help in the basement
>"we got a mariachi band AND fireworks"
>machete attack (x2)
>multiple women off their meds and suicidal
>dude shot in the arm, ass, and twice in the head
>house on fire
>another garbage can on fire
>large group fighting at Aberdeen, all available cars requested for backup
>male asian dangling another male asian off a bridge by the ankles

>gsw to abdomen . critial condition
>gsw to right chest. unknown condition.

>>132441378
UPDATE:
>first victim shot in the abdomen
>critical condition
>second shot in the chest
>stable condition

Stable is not a condition REEEEEEE!

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>>132444197
Sorry, I forgot that having been mentioned. I was grilling dinner at that time.

>>132444295
i knew someone would catch that.

>the tree is still on fire

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Become Robert

>>132444401
t. Arizona

tree is still on fire lmao

>>132444444

>>132444237
Reporting. I drive.
It's even a big ass van

>>132444497
Kek

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PUT THE FUCKING TREE OUT

>>132443892

Jew

>garage door on fire

someone on the boat. garage on fire

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>>132444599
We need an anon to go to the police department and tell them to put the tree out

>>132444266
I forgot about burning trash cans and empty houses on fire. At this point those are basically sounding like fireworks complaints apparently.

>>132444753
Don't you hate when that happens?

wew your fucked son. failure to appear and on parole. bye nigga

Haven't heard fireworks for a bit. Wonder if it's time for gunshots.

>>132444827
>yfw that's a problem for you

Love it or leave it.

>>132444476
i look too aryan to go into the congo
wouldn't i get me jumped by nogs and white wymyns?

>>132441373
what the fuck is that proxy

that chimp in the background lol

>condition
>stable
eeeeEEEeeeEee

>>132444994
So you're a drunk, phoneposting, newfag?

>>132444922
You memed it bruh. Next do explosives

>>132444992
yes

>female is destroying her car, waiting for police

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>>132445086

Let there be light!

female Is still beating up the car. still waiting on police. fuck me, that's gotta look like a street fighter bonus stage by now

>shots fired at 3800 Wentworth

>>132445072
popped over from /lit/ for the cpd thread, so yes

>John Adams

>>132445233

Holy kek

>>132445257
how does one find CPD from /lit/. not hating just interesting leap

>>132445257
Fuck yeah /lit/bro. Good evening Robert

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>>132445180
double or nothing

>>132445336
jumped on /pol/ a few times when bored and saw these wonderful cpd threads, and since i live in chicago they're pretty fun to drink to with 2814 or some other ~wave~ ambient on in the background when ive got nothing better to do on a friday night

>unruly
unruly
>unruly
unruly

>without too much noise

>>132445257
Welcome /lit/fag. Check your keys, relax and enjoy. How's life? Have any weapons next to you to fend of male black?

>Question

Would you be an Uber driver in Chicago tonight for $3,000?

>/cpd/ robert hours are prime snacking hours.

>>132445563
No.

>>132445563
fuck no

>>132445488
These are no doubt the /comfiest/ threads. But they don't represent /pol/s autism. Maybe that's a good thing. Also would advise against posting with the Kekifaggot flag

>>132444994
Welcome newfriend

You can change your flag from geographic location to a political faction of your choosing, should you choose to come here from Reditt.

>>132445563

If I could carry a gun sure

>>132445257
>>132445336
I'm curious as well. I'm wagering it's just the natural pull of comfy threads that transcends boards. That, and it being "fuck the brits" burger night.

>>132445488
kickass, glad to have ya Robert. cheers to you on the 4th.

Another machete. Is this France?

>shot in the left arm and right hand

>>132445563
that doesnt even cover the ER visit

>>132445563
No fucking way. For a thee hour shift, with a co-pilot driver in an old suburban, in full body armor with medical supplies all around....about $450k

>>132445626
yes you can carry

>>132445681
Victim's name appears to be John Kennedy

>>132445563
double fuck no. I would rather be stuck in a time loop where I was a helicopter gunner in vietnam for eternity.

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>>132445488
Nice. Stay safe and comfy, Robert.

>>132445611
Kek is vital to life.
Kek expands consciousness.
Kek is love.
Kek is life.
Kek will bring us a nigger explosion

>>132445669
chicongo
they are deeply rooting in their heritage. cant take africa outta the nig

>he was shot five times

check those, or imma come down there an check 'em fo ya!

>shot 5 times
>5 weapons in the house.

>clothes not to be found inside the home
let's CSA, Robert!

>>132445822
but we could put the nig back in the Africa yes??

>>132445905
You can take the nig out of Africa, but you can also put him back.

>hit the caller in the head with a fork

>>132445905
we would need a lot of nets but yes

>hit in the head with a fork
>hit
>fork
I love Chicago

story time /cpd/
i once met a chicago gangbanger in a psych ward
he was a member of the Satan's Disciples in for OD'ing on heroin
tattoos all over, thug life spelled out over knuckles, one filled one clear teardrop on face
ama

>hit in the head with a fork
I hear that right? Britbong style felony assault tonight.

Should I play saints row 1-2 tonight in light of tonight's niggatry?
I'd play GTA San andreas but someone stole my computer

> tfw I'm the aussie who brought back /cpd/ this year
> tfw no regrets, I love this shit

>>132445955
numbers are true
roommate hit him in the head with a fork. fuck i'm in tears giggling

>>132445611
kek i clicked it once gonna change it back now NOFAG nofag here

>>132446021
He's a motherforker.

until every coon is treed america will be fucked
> make slavery great again

>>132446021
Bin that fork

>>132441028
Robert is becoming quite powerful.

>she's not stepping out, she doesn't want them to know she's the one calling
Niggress just standing in the middle of a party on the phone with the cops

>>132446007
I knew about the teardrops but I didn't know there was a distinction of filled and clear. Care to clarify on that?

>933 is still way too fucking happy
I think he needs help.

>check dishes/utensil on weapon bingo

who the fuck is robert?

First time in one of these threads, shit's fascinating. Within seconds of tuning in I hear about a guy that was shot five times with multiple weapons in the house. Is it always this lively?

933 Robert is still high on life.

>>132446007

Did you guys fuck?

>>132446088
You're fine. Literally the only threads on /pol/ that aren't too hostile

>>132445635
/comfy/
by 'come from /lit/' i meant i dont spend time here with you degenerates but used to browse occasionally months ago till i found better things to do (>>>/lit/, newfag and phoneposter so the worst)

>shot locations included right arm and buttocks

>>132446153
in Texas. filled is a kill. and outlined is in memory of a homie

>>132446036
Isn't possession of violent and obscene vidya a felony offense in emu country?

>>132446178
Listen for 10 minutes. And then listen to me: this is just another night in Chicago. Absolutely anything you here happens every day. It's bananas man

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>>132446123
Ban assault forks! Moms demand action!!!

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>>132446123
>put your weapon in the bin

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>good, fair, or critical
Dispatch dishing facts tonight!

WHO THE FUCK IS ROBERT REeeeeeeeeeee

>>132446178

This is Nigmas. Christmas in July for /cpd/. We get the most blood tonight but it's something new every night.

>>132446202
in the shower, yeah
he was roma so i got plenty of his cousin and probably sister injected up my anus

>>132446313
Our hero

>>132446313
Nigger hush. Robert shot Batman because he was wearing all black. Listen and enjoy

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>>132446036
Saints Row for sure.
>stole your computer
Sounds like Male Black got his revenge on you for bringing the threads back. He does have a vast network of operatives

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>>132444476
Been considering it, especially due to family ties in law enforcement who may or may not be in the city, but besides not being /fit/, being remarkably depressed with some narcolepsy thrown in, and really worried about a pension et al. I don't think I can do it.
Maybe detective or something armchair officer esque, but I don't see that happening either. At least I'll still hear all the whacky stories without the mind numbing bureaucracy of the job.

>>132446295
that was hilarious. sassy logic

Is there a 1488 Robert?

>>132446462
Yes

>>132446262
>>132446153
think this is correct. filled is killed and clear is honoring a fallen banger

>body removal needed

1488 reporting jesus robert im almost too buniped to be much good

>>132446427
maybe go the criminal psychologist route??? don't have to be fit and don't have to do the grunt work but can still be in the police environment

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>>132446036
Much love if you were indeed the one to start posting these again a couple months ago. These threads make for a comfy retreat from summerfag shite.
>stolen computer
Abbos or emus?

>>132446174
Read the OP, faggot.

>>132446564
>get the barrels
>pour in the acid
>~fin~

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>call in the snatchers

>male black hispanics with guns are after him

>>132446606
hahahah I feel you. Today was draining...the amount of total dumb shit is staggering. Get some rest when you get a chance Robert.

what are we listening to now lads? give some quality albums

>>132446645
i really like this /cpd/wave image. good one robert.

>>132446744
you dun fucked up jpedro

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>>132446701
>he stole my heart and me, as well

Is there a Detroit version? My old frat house was out there so I've seen the seediness firsthand

>>132446884
no other scanner is even half as active as CPD.

>large group of guys beating up a woman in the street

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Oh Kek hear me. Bring us a burning negro.

Behold that this man of Pompeii has died masturbating. It is only right that for one of ours we take one of theirs. Amen.

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>>132446678

What happened so far lads I'm drunk happy birthday America!!

>>132446625
I actually will look into this, thanks for the advice.

>>132446884
Let's wait until they rack up another 200 murders per year

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>>132446772
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zG_Avg6VtM

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>>132446645
one of the top 5

>https://www.wbez.org/shows/wbez-news/in-chicago-gangs-abound-but-where-are-they/0d956c2e-171a-483a-8666-f5228d98812d

holy fuck i literally live inside a colored (kek) territory

>>132446989

Best Ive heard so far:

> Male Asian dangling male asian over bridge by ankles
> guy stabbed in head with fork
>guy shot in foot
> guy shot 4 times, called in for help. condition was fine

>>132445563
sounds like a bunch of pussies answering you or richfags. yes. yes i would

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>>132446340
Basically this. The 4th is guaranteed shenanigans, but a random wednesday night could go completely off the rails without any apparent reason. Full moons in warmer months are primetime shitshow, too.

>>132446989
cheers.
man lost half his head
gun shots and nigs shot
chimps chimpin
garbage cans got the worst of it tonight
bitches getting hit
fork to the head
crowds getting rowdy

>>132446645
Family nicked it to pay rent


It all started again when I was bored at work and I started listening to the Chicago scanner again since I was hooked on it last year as well.
So I started making a list of things that happened that night and posted it in /ptg/, and so a Canadian started the thread up again and I provided him with the pastebin of the OP (the OP of this thread and all the links in it actually)
I stuck with it but I don't go to /ptg/ anymore, I'm more of an /sg/ guy.

I'm very happy to have had a part in bringing back /cpd/

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im tapping out boys keep strong roberts..... prevent coonery and be good boys til the next chimpmas

>>132447151
>fork to the head
Let's be clear: victim -hit- in the head with a fork

>>132446984
>tumblr
that says enough

>>132447189
Long Live Assad
Glad to have you back

>>132447106
>shot 4 times
>condition: fine

Hardcore mother fucker

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>>132447221
Folks, let's think for a second. Could it not be the Blue Raja?

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53rd and Wood St, where the Robert asked for more cars to help break up the crowd

>>132447151
Chink off a bridge

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>>132447283
If you think Chicago is fun, you should see the shit Arabs do to eachother

>>132441053
>>132441053
>>132441053
>>132441053
>>132441053
>>132441053

>>132447325
Chicago chimps get a +4 to ranged defense at birth

>>132447376
>Every house is boarded up.

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>>132447376
well, there's a nice tree in the neighborhood

>>132447487
Probably the one that was burning earlier

>>132447421
Jesus, I thought jungle niggers were vicious. Sand niggers are fucking animals.

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>>132447189
Warm fuzzy feels for ya gallippolibro. Last season was a shitload of janky fun. Crude, half-assed memes and untold hours of comfy fuckery. Sorry to hear about your computer though, Robert.

>garage on fire

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJtL8vWNZ4o
>>132447424

>>132447616
Some men, just want to watch the world burn...

>>132447189
i cant handle /ptg/ dick sucking and defending. /sg/ has great info one of the best generals on /pol/ next to /cpd/, thanks anon. you gave an oldfag a place to hide.

I'm going to bed Roberts clan. everyone sleep well and keep male black in check.

As for you last Americans around, remember that we had to earn that party yesterday. Sober up and lets make next years party our xl freedom edition.

>inb4 some garage exploded

been gone for an hour, what has happened? anything interesting?

>Black male in blue jeans

>crowd of 20 people fighting

>>132447762
/sg/ is great, /cpd/ is comfy and escapist.
/nsg/ is a redpill/comfy heaven

WTF WAS THAT? WHAT DOESN'T HE REMEMBER?

>>132447887
wheres that?

BUMP LIMIT HIT TIME TO MIGRATE, ROBERTS

lol wtf was that?

WHY CANT HE REMEMBER

>>132447887
>Only 20

>>132447980

>>132441053

>>132447946
Spat some of my drink out when I heard that

>>132447921
i go to /nsg/ just to dump redpills . maybe i should stick around

>>132446295
fuckin excellent pic

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>>132447946

LOL HOLY SHIT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsaB3ynIZH4&feature=youtu.be&t=60

How did they put that over the scanner LMAO

>gunshot wound to right ankle, achilles heel area

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>>132448089
It's good shit. Discourse can be very interesting and genuine. Plus the a e s t h e t i c

>>132447106
>>132447151
Holy shit dude

>>132448255
i always said when a libertarian looses all hope in mankind they auto become a NS