CNN's Crisis Papers

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An Adaptation of the Crisis Papers 1 by Thomas Paine: THESE are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands by it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness only that gives every thing its value. Heaven knows how to put a proper price upon its goods; and it would be strange indeed if so celestial an article as FREEDOM should not be highly rated.

CNN, with an army of journalists to enforce her tyranny, has declared that she has a right (not only to DEFAME) but "to DOX us in ALL CASES WHATSOEVER" and if being bound in that manner, is not slavery, then is there not such a thing as slavery upon earth. Even the expression is impious; for so unlimited a power can belong only to God.

'Tis surprising to see how rapidly a panic will sometimes run through a country. All nations and ages have been subject to them. CNN has trembled like an ague at our memes; and in the election of 2016 the whole journalist army, after ravaging the America, was driven back like men petrified with fear... Many a disguised SJW has lately shown his head, that shall penitentially solemnize with curses the day on which CNN arrived in America.