HE IS THE ONE

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Upon witnessing President Trump's CNN smackdown tweet today, I was left making much the same facial expression Laurence Fishburn makes at the end of The Matrix when he realizes Neo truly is The One. Today was the first day I truly saw him for what he is: Trump is not just a Chad, he is The Chad, in much the same way top-level Taoists claim to become the Tao. This is the key to understanding his behavior. If you were to combine every star high school quarterback and Ray-Ban clad summer lifeguard into one, you still would not be scratching the surface of the Pure Chadism that flows through Donald Trump's veins at any given moment. For him, bullyciding isn't just a fun pasttime; it's a way of life.

Donald Trump is a 139 IQ certified triple alpha Apex Chad, born with a nearly perfect anti-autism genome which was then steeled through a lifetime spent in the cutthroat world of high-end ManFUCKINGhatten real estate, which is basically the Olympics of bare, no holds barred Jewry. When you see Trump retweeting a meme of (real, actual) himself delivering a WWE Raw smackdown to the bugman hive that is CNN, you're watching a completely autonomic response; trolling comes as easy to President Trump as breathing comes to the rest of us.

Whether he's a plucky, new-to-the-scene NYC realtor having his associate "John Miller" call up some sleazeball tabloid yid to call him a faggot, or a 2016 Republican presidential candidate bragging about his dick size to 80 million prime-time viewers, or the President of the United States of America retweeting a silly meme showing him giving CNN a stunner, The Chad is acting on 100% instinct at all time; this makes him an absolutely fatal opponent for the bugman, whose modus operandi is by nature spergy, data/consensus-driven, and highly fragile.

When you're watching Trump troll, you're not merely watching a maestro at work; no, you're seeing the very essence of trolling given human form.