The Role of the State

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I'm constantly getting into (friendly) arguments with my leftist friends about what exactly the role of a state in the U.S.

I was raised in Texas, as were they, so obviously we were raised with the idea that the states are meant to take care of their respective citizens in a far more intimate way than the federal government.

They make the argument that states are really just "extensions" of the federal government's authority. Something that bugs me immensely about this, is that they seem to ignore how one state can differ from another (I;e California is not Iowa)

In particular, that argument isn't even comprehensible to them when I say
> "what works in california might not work elsewhere, some of those policies would harm a lot of people"

All I get is a really shifty/angry liberal tardrage in response, "ITS ALL SCALABLE, WHAT WORKS HERE WORKS EVERYWHERE, JUST LIKE HOW SWEDEN IS GOOD SO WE NEED TO ACT LIKE SWEDEN"

(I shit you not this was almost verbatim, but to be fair we were a few beers deep)

So my question for y'all - What do you believe the role of a state is in the Union?

Are policies that work amazingly in one state proof that they'll work in other?