Ahmed The Clockboy and The Big Bang Theory

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>sheldon notices new student in cafeteria holding a suspicious case
>scared shitless, he packs up his things quickly and makes leonard take him home immediately
leonard: what is up with you sheldon? what is going on?
sheldon: (looking out the windows in a frantic state) just drive! Ill explain at home!
>they enter living room and sheldon runs to grab his emergency kit
sheldon: Im gonna grab my emergency kit you get yours, quick! theres no time to allert the others!
leonard: just tell me what YOU THINK ITS GOING ON THIS IS CRAZIER THAN USUAL
sheldon: (shaking-grabs leonard by his shoulders) I saw him leonard..I saw him.An arab at the university's cafeteria..holding a weird case.Its happening leonard...ITS HAPPENING
leonard: sheldon youre unbelievable.That was ahmed! Have you been living under a rock or something?
sheldon: w-who?
leonard:(sighs) He is this genius kid engineer who was discriminated against by his school because they thought he made a bomb, and now he has a schollarship at our university you big dummy
>sheldon calms down a bit and sits at his spot
sheldon: I may have..overeacted a bit.
leonard: (sits down) you think?!
>as they turn on the TV a blinding light appears at the window, followed by what seems like an escalating earthquake and rumble.As the sonic blast blows up the windows and a mushroom cloud is formed in the horizon, sheldon turns to leonard and says "arent you tired of always being wrong?" right before the blast consumes their apartment

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>ahmed walks in big bang theory living room
>crowd is cheering and gives him a standing ovation for 5 minutes straight while all the actors stay at their places smiling awkwardly
>starts meeting everyone
>sees howard
ahmed: Wait a sec, is this a fucking jew?
>crowd goes OOOOOOHHHHH
>howard looks very awkward
>audience laughs
>ahmed takes out his clock-sword and starts decapitating howard while filming it
>everyone claps for adversity
>sheldon says BAZINGA while howards head rolls to his feet

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>ahmed enters studio
>crowd goes crazy some people rush over to maybe even touch him a little bit but security holds them back
leonard: so ahmed, what happened to you was a real bummer.You should know that most of us are very tolerant and we dont assume things based on religion or race.
ahmed: thank you my friend, my ordeal was very unpleasant indeed.When the police showed up, I was so angry I was about to explode! (looks at camera)
>crowd literally screams at this point not even laughter just pure screams
leonard: oh you! so how does this clock work?
ahmed: you just say alahu akbar and press that red button there
>leonard presses button and the apartment explodes
>sheldon comes out the rumble with face blackened by cartoon explosion
sheldon: now thats what I call a BIG BANGZINGA!

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>ahmed walks into living room
>crowd starts cheering like rabid chimps, grabbing their children by their feet and bashing
their heads on the floor until their brains spill out, as a sacrifice to allah
>ahmed gets introduced to everyone
leonard: ..and this is penny she lives down the hall
penny: nice to me you! (gives him her hand)
>ahmed just looks at her top to bottom
>imediately starts raping her
>the others try to stop him
>penny is screaming
leonard: AHMED WHAT ARE YOU DOING? NO! STOP! YOU CANT DO THIS
>ahmed stops mid-thrust while still inside her
>slowly looks at leonard
ahmed: did you just TELL a MUSLIM what he CAN and CANT fucking do?
>everyone stares silently at each other, visibly scared, penny is still screaming
>next day ahmed is in charge of all women's organizations due to racist backlash

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>leonard enters room with ahmed, the guys are eating
leonard: hey guys, this is ahmed! he won a scholarship to our university, he made this kick-ass clock, the kid is a born engineer
>sheldon looks at howard
sheldon: (whispers) born engineer? and what does he need an education for, isnt he on benefits?
>audience ROARS with laughter
>howard scoffs
howard: dont mind sheldon, in fact just consider him a robot it will be easier for all of us. (audience starts dying from laughter and throwing kids at the walls) Hi im howard nice to meet you
ahmed: hello howard.Let me ask, are you by any chance jewish?
>howard looks around kinda worried
howard: y-yeah..why?
ahmed: oh nothing! I just didnt expect a bonus today desu
howard: w-what?
>ahmed unzips his hoodie revealing the 72 bricks of c4 strapped on him
ahmed: ALAHU AKBAAAAAR
>audience in a frenzy runs towards the explosion to redeem themselves for being born white

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>everyone in the living room eating
sheldon: the food is dry. I dont like dry food.
>crowd's clothing is already wet by tears of laughter
>doorbell rings
leonard: oh hey guys, thats ahmed, my new friend! he just got a scholarsip in our university, he's a genius engineer and I invited him over for dinner!
>opens door, ahmed walks in
>crowd goes crazy people are cheering, screaming, crying
ahmed: hi Im ahmed
>men rip their throats out laughing and hit each other with them
>women maniacally laughing, get pregnant and give birth to interracial children on the spot
leonard: ahmed these are my friends, I told you about them
the gang: hi ahmed!
ahmed: hello friends, very nice to meet you! I have brought presents for all of you!
>gang is excited, sheldon sulks and crowd is screaming at the top of their lungs
ahmed: for you leonard, this superman toy or whatever, in it's original package.. for you sheldon, this miniature 1732 toy train (sheldon's face lights up and the crowd goes AWWWWW)
sheldon: gimmegimmegimme! (rushes and takes toy train from ahmed's hands)
>crowd uses tubes to screamlaugh isnide each others ear drums until they bleed
ahmed: for you raj, I got this great book, its called POO IN LOO, I think you might need it
>raj looks embarassed but takes the book anyway
>crowd is dead and rotten by laughter at this point, studio reeks of fresh death
ahmed: and for you howard, this.. bag of coins!
>howard breaks down crying and kissing ahmed's feet
leonard: excuse me ahmed? it seems like my toy is ticking..
all of them: yeah ours too, what is this
ahmed: oh friends.I have another surprise for you..
all of them: what?
>ahmed checks his watch (its actually his "homemade" clock mounted on his wrist)
ahmed: A L L A H U A K B A A A A A R

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>ahmed sits down and explains to the guys how he made his clock
sheldon: this...isnt very smart. At all. In fact, I would go as far as to call it juvenile.Even howard could built this.
howard: (rolls eyes-sarcastic tone) thanks sheldon.
>just as howard delivers his line 100 special forces officers break down the door and throw flashbang grenades in apartment, storming in screaming GO GO GO
>they start beating the shit out of sheldon, handcuff him and make him blow ahmed for 20 minutes before dragging him away
>sheldon is never heard of again and the new protagonist of the show is ahmed
>he beheads howard in his sleep, bathes in his blood and takes his wife down his basement as a torture/sex slave
>with ahmed as head-researcher, all of the university's funding goes toward re-making things to look like bombs and being butthurt when someone points it out

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>shot of living room where the guys are hanging out with ahmed
ahmed: ..and so I said to the cop "look we could sit around jiberjabbing all night long, bottom line is tommorow night Im gonna be on Conan and youre gonna be home fucking your fatass whore wife wishing you could end yourself"
>everyone laughing
>audience has taken a cop hostage and theyre slowly dismembering him from bottom to top while laughing like schizophrenics
leonard: (trying to stop laughing) oh man youre killing me...ahmed youre the MAN my man youre hillarious and innovative
sheldon: I gotta admit, there is very little humor I find actually funny but you ahmed, my friend, you just keep knocking it right out of the park
ahmed: (kind of embarrased) oh come on you guys..stop it
howard: no man youre rea-
ahmed: YOU SHUT YOUR FUCKING KIKE MOUTH YOU FUCKING DIRTY DISGUSTING GODDAMN PIG HOW DARE YOU EVEN ADRESS ME
>ahmed is now standing up just starring at howard ready to explode
>actors break character
leonard: dude ahmed, chill out, thats not in the script
howard: yeah man relax, wha the hell is wrong with you
>this fades in slowly https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYjt1-TEQk4
>everyone is confused as to where the music is coming from while ahmed, still staring at howard, starts slowly pulling out a scimitar from his pants
>before studio security even manages to interviene ahmed has already beheaded howard, recorded it, uploaded it on youtube, and denied its him in the video

meh

Try reddit!

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>Ahmed and the regular cast are sitting on the couch having dinner and chatting
>Suddenly a flashbang is thrown in through the window
>Grenade detonates and Israeli special forces commandos kick down the door, entering with guns drawn
>Ahmed weakly stands up and tries to reach what looks like a detonator but the commandos open fire, riddling him with bullets
>The rest of the gang recovers and frantically ask what's going on
>The soldiers turn over Ahmed's body, pulling an ISIS flag out of his back pocket and revealing the Koran scripture tattoos on every inch of his body covered by clothes
Penny: Wow! What a RADICAL development!
Sheldon: Bazinga!
>credits roll as audience applauds and cheers

>>130671532
You just know that was his dads for use in a terror plot.

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>Penny enters the apartment wearing a burqa Penny: Assalamu alaikham!
>laughtrack and cheers
Leonard: Uh, Penny, what are you doing?
Penny: I met a very inspirational man today! He is so smart, just like you guys or even more, and he showed me the light and love of the Koran!
Sheldon: You converted to Islam because some arab tricked everyone into thinking his bomb was a clock?
Penny: Sheldon! That's very rude! You kaffirs need to be shown the true power of Allah!
>Penny opens her robes and reveals the C4 strapped to her body
Penny: Allahu Ackbar!
Sheldon: (whispers while a tear runs down his face) Hitler's only mistake was not going far enough.
>Penny detonates the bombs, leveling the entire block
>Fadeout to credits as audience laughs and applauds

Thats all.
I hope nu/pol/ enjoys these and they dont have their civic nationalism feelings hurt or be mad for making fun of their favorite show

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Check out my cool clock!

What became of the kid anyway?

>>130671438
>ahmed: Wait a sec, is this a fucking jew?

>>130672829
thats a bomb

>>130672698
brilliant reads anon, good find!

Is it possible to deport the entire shit skin family?

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>>130672019
>ahmed: for you leonard, this superman toy or whatever

I vaguely remember these top kek
Someone post them on /tv/

these are shit KYS "le old pol xD"

>>130676967

Go away newfag

>>130678534
stfu you LARPing moron

>>130671024
not that great
honestly seeing that sandnigger hand would be funnier

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>>130678870
>kekistani flag
>accuses others of larping

>>130679839
cringe

>>130673205
I think he got deported.

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>>130672361
>Sheldon: (whispers while a tear runs down his face) Hitler's only mistake was not going far enough.

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>>130671943
>ahmed: hello howard.Let me ask, are you by any chance jewish?
>>howard looks around kinda worried
>howard: y-yeah..why?
>ahmed: oh nothing! I just didnt expect a bonus today desu