Britbongistan

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>Be me.
>Rapeugee immigrating to Britbongistan illegally.
>Riding towards the cost on my boat Hurka Durka.
>British defense forces show up to stop me but I keep on going.
>The first one shoots at me but the magazine falls out of the L85. The second one shoots but forgot to hit the forward assist so he is stuck clearing a jam.

>Land, unload all my passengers. Mfw my goat Aisha was hit by the one bullet that the britbongs actually managed to fire.
>Fuck, they will pay for this.
>Find local ISIS recruiters on Twitter. It is okay, the British authorities won't arrest them. That would be insensitive.
>Build bomb. ALLAHU AKBAR
>Blow up 50 primary school girls. ALLAHU AKBAR

>"#prayforus if only there wasn't intolerance in Britain then those poor disadvantaged and oppressed Middle Easterners wouldn't have to hurt us. #end Islamophobia."
>By Allah, they are taking the little girls to Hospitals. I need to bomb them there too.
>Pull out phone I got from money the British gave me. Look up British hospitals.
>First result: "British Red Cross: 'Humanitarian crisis' in NHS hospitals - BBC"-- [sic]
>Second: "'Humanitarian crisis' in NHS hospitals, warns Red Cross - BBC"-- [sic]

>Allahu Akbar! Allah has shown his hand! I do not need to do anything. They will die by their caretakers' hands.
> "Terrorism is part and parcel of big city life." -London mayor Sadiq Khan
>Fourth terrorist attack in 4 weeks.
>British government and reporters still baffled as to the motive.

How shitty could a country possibly be? I would say that I am sorry for the Britbongs but they would probably be honestly offended at me doing so because of my 'evil intolerant, bigoted, Islamophobia.'