/CPD/ CHICAGO PD SCANNER THREAD - NO MISHAPS TONIGHT EDITION

>>129550784
Fuck off with your awoo cancer, you fucking faggot.

>>129550901
/cpd/ is a no-bully zone, Robert

Bumpin
>body removal

3 shots fired

Niggers in the garbage again.

>2 male blacks robbed the 711 at gunpoint

7-11 robbed.

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>>129550901
clam down robert

>7/11 robbed
>here we go

2 male blacks armed robbery

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not cool you faggot get extra comfy dicklicker

looks like we got our first robbery of the night lads

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>>129550955
Kek. That momiji was crafted with Robert love.

>SHOTS FIRED

>OK, HERE WE ARE...A 7-11 HAS BEEN ROBBED.
He sounds so delightfully bored with it all.

burgers, how would you rate criminal situation in Chicongo on the scale from 1 to 10?

Shit a Walgreens just got hit too?

square tattoo 25 years old

>offender has a tattoo of a square under his eye
>some sort of gang insignia

we wuz esoteric symbols n shiet

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>>129551251
>on the scale from 1 to 10?
23. Kek.

>>129551251
DEFCOON 666

8.5 total dumpster fire

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>>129551138
>'coons being 'coons

elderly male beat up
bad feel

>>129551306
>>129551318
Now, is it a geometric square, or a cigarette?

I love these threads.

>black female....dangling child by foot out of window...loud screaming...

Oh chiraq never change.

Shit. It's a war zone tonight
> shots fired
>robbers
>old man beat up

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>>129551363
>DEFCOON
TOP WEW lad!

ongo bongo bongo i dont wanna leave chicongo oh no no no no no no

>male punching cars as he walks by

>>129551438
>niggers in the garbage again
Never forget, even your garbage isn't safe .

>punching women
>punching old guys
>punching cars

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>>129551765

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2400/0000h

Male Black Zero Dark Hour, where Real Robert Hours intersects with pre-Real Nigga Hours

qt voiced Robert, I...

what surprises me the most is the number of cops killed in this warzone
are they immortal or wut?
do they respond for each call?

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>>129551857
>what surprises me the most is the number of cops killed in this warzone
Chicago really isn't that dangerous, just big
>are they immortal or wut?
Yes. Real Roberts don't fuck around, blast niggers first call body snatchers later
>do they respond for each call?
eventually

>>129551857
Most crime that occurs isn't directed at the cops, it's directed at other nigs, and most times when a cop meets someone who might be a threat, they're already dead.

>three middle eastern males dragged a handcuffed male into the woods

Sandniggers causing trouble

>>129552307
>we literally chiraq now

wait she's dispatch?
I need to clean my ears

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>3 middle eastern males got out of a car, a 4th male was handcuffed, they went into a wooded area

> chiraq not being dangerous.....
nigger please

>woohoo baby
the fuck was that

>YOO HOO BAYBEE
>keep up that attitude and u gonna make papah

>>129552325
>>129552307
>>129552362
He is (or now was) probably a fag

Wooohooo baby!!!!!!!

WOHO BABEY

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>>129552325

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>>129552408

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>at 88 degrees & higher Homicide rates in Chicago go up 500%
>Highest temperatures in Chicago in 4 years

ARE YOU GUYS READ FOR REAL ROBERT WEEK

>miss Goldberg

>(((goldberg)))

Black with dreads breaking and entering

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Mrs ((Goldberg))

>Mrs. Goldberg says a tall male black was in her room when she came home
>Goldberg

Mrs Goldberg? What's a nice Jewish lady doing in Chinigo?

>>129552371
>> chiraq not being dangerous.....
>nigger please
maybe for niggers in the hood, average white people are perfectly safe statistically, unless youre out trying to cop in the dope zone or slumming it, even then youre more than likely going to get robbed maybe assaulted not murdered.
Dead whitey=Robert pays more visits

>>129552544
is her jew daughter getting blacked?

brutal, blood on the walls

>>129552585
North side has a lot of Jews. There is Skokie near the ghetto, that has a lot of Jews too.

>>129552508
the male black is just getting cranked up

>50 people drinking by the river

>50 people partying near river
let's go

A nignog having a custody dispute? Weird.

>>129552783
>>129552748
Throw 'em all in, save the trouble.

>>129552783
same 50 who were partying on the street last night?

>>129552783
>>50 people partying near river
>let's go
We Wuz Kangz of Atlantis and sheeeeeeeeit

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Tomorrow being Monday doesnt mean shit when you are on the gibs
Also its 78 degrees right now!

Oh shit, we got a crime spree. 2 nig nogs goin for sum cash.

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oops

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>>129551251

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>>129552508
holy fuck
it's going to be a hell of a week

>>129552977
keep on drummin jamal

>>129552869
they're just cleaning the river

>>129552508
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmPNIRguxt0
FIRE IT UP!

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>>129553177
>holy fuck
>it's going to be a hell of a week
getting CRUNKED UP and ready for demons night, target practice and calesthenics

>under 5'
NIGLET CONFIRMED

>>129553496
how bad does it get on the 4th of july?

>black had long hair
Stole his own sistas weave.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OYKGT5a6ws

wtf I love CPD now

He's completely naked, right?

>he's completely naked, right?

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>>129553662
>how bad does it get on the 4th of july?
out of control, nonstop madness, everyone is drunk and high and everyone loves to shoot guns off at midnight, Male Black probably assumes fireworks are good cover for crimes

>supposedly with aids
>send fire robert

did I just imagine that?

>>129553947
Nope.

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>>129553662
Fire and corpses. Fire and corpse everywhere.

Viet-Robert wel-coon

>naked guy yelling about aids
can't make this shit up

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>>129554136
MAIM KILL BURN MAIM KILL BURN

>>129554254
Phone numbers for days.

>>129554254
They have and will. It is glorious.

>>129553662

6 million fireworks calls, usually several murders and extra sassy dispatch.

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Shit is firing up boys.

how do you guys feel about living side by side 3rd world country-tier people?

I mean this shit always surpised me how you can be sure that niggers won't pay a visit to your neighborhood/house one day?

>>129554714
This did happen to someone from my home town. She was brutally murdered. Nigger got caught and should be getting fucking rekt for it.

>>129554714
Nobody wants to come to Kansas. As long as i dont go to the mcdicks near the highway I'm fine.

>>129554714
>how do you guys feel about living side by side
Hahahaha no. I live in Texas, far from anything remotely resembling a Chiraqi Alley Ape.

>>129554714
I live in a literal 3rd world nigger-filled country
living in a gated white rich neighborhood has lots of advantages when it comes to living in nigger cities
I'm in my early 20s and neither me or my parents have ever been victim to violent crime or burglary and shit

>man lying on the floor unresponsive

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feels bad man, idk we just stay in the white areas... we mostly have guns,gates and roberts keep coons outs, but they are on the loose....

>>129554714
well it's easy
just don't live in a few specific areas in chicago, or just don't live in chicago, period. Or any big city for that matter. Also we carry guns.

Ironically most people who would benefit from carrying a gun in the cities also believe in noguns.

>>129554714
niggers tend to stay in nigger areas
they dont like interacting with whites and prefer to keep it to a minimum

>male black driving a Bentley in front of the club, he has cocaine and no license (says the caller)
>audible panic

>audible panic

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>>129555045
>Ironically most people who would benefit from carrying a gun in the cities also believe in noguns.
I will never understand these fruits. They are aliens to me.

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>>129554714
They tend to stick to low rent ghetto areas with lots of Section 8 (subsidized and free housing Gibs)
In some of the worse cities however those can be just on the other side of a major cross street or railroad tracks from million dollar homes
There was a big trend in home invasions in a certain one I worked in, started putting up lots of cameras networked into dispatch, mobile camera trailers, home owners associations adding private armed guards that are patroling a few blocks

The trick is to not live in any of those cities, or get to a nice suburb, or just concealed carry guns everywhere. I keep a large belgian malinois and me and the wife are always armed, would never know it.

tell me /cpd/, how does this make you feel
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcQbKMf8vJo

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>>129555128
>>129555149
4U

>>129555401
another nigger clown the jews have dancing for the masses, normalizing degeneracy

>3 shots fired at Hoyne and Shiller

>>129555225
Niggers destroy their own communities and rarely venture out, there are cases of them moving to one city after the civil war and NEVER moving, white southerners get a lot of shit for incest but first cousin incest among blacks is way more common.

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>>129555636
based

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THREE. THREE SHOTS FIRED.

what iz diz coonery? but for real fucking rapper are the worse they brainwash ((normal)) coons into even worse coons

>3 males threatened to hang the caller
>female hispanic stole a cell phone, caller chased the female

STOP PLAYING PINBALL ROBERT

>>129555862
we /lynching/ now?

>42 y/o woman slit her wrists

bit old to be going through that phase desu

>>129555884
Thought I recognized those sounds.

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>>129555884
>>129555985

>>129555862
>female hispanic stole a cell phone
>caller chased the female
...like at a phone store? Why is a phone store open at one in the morning? How did he make that call?

>>129555902
between the honor killings, car punching and wife beatings I wouldn't put it past them

>>129555776
black families unironically alienate members of the family who try and leave the city to make a living, I knew a nig who went to be an entrepreneur, a rather successful one at that. Family disowned him for "being too white." Niggers really are the worst

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Man with a gun on the loose

>>129556055
>but who was phone

>>129556040
fucking kek

>>129556055
you can buy cell phones anywhere now, lad

>>129556062
>honor killings
what? we /ISIS/ here?

>>129556055
it was probably just a pedestrian dicking around on the phone then the female his panic snatched it

>>129556040
It still works on 10 (and on linux with WINE)
https://mega.nz/#F!yYFnQJza!2lmvmnhbXuzxHtCtkN7HUA
Have a copy i pulled off XP myself.

>>129556134

see

>>129552307
>>129552362

>>129556040
>>129556040
Kek

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>>129555401
>tell me /cpd/, how does this make you feel
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcQbKMf8vJo [Embed]
Whack. Just listened to the entire song to give an honest review, production is obnoxious. Big Boi was ok I guess, Killer Mike has always been a little annoying (isn't he a BLM activist or some shit like that now?), and Jeezy fucking sucks always has.

Not even hip-hop, more like "ignorant nigger rap", mr bojangles tap dancing on top of a watermelon wearing a chicken bone necklace and a top hat
Male Black appropriating asian culture too what the fuck

>shots fired at 2441 w Augusta

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>>129556296
>Male Black appropriating asian culture too what the fuck

black weebs might be the funniest thing on this planet

>>129556402
What the fuck. Why do you have that image saved

>Male black bit GF

>>129556159
I have a win 98 retrobox, and I will get this also. Space Cadet on everythang.

>>129556296
>killer mike bluepilled
Correct. I always enjoyed the political commentary between El-P and him though, though I'm not 100% sure what El-P thinks beyond "muh illuminati." What got by bone was
>miku samples

>>129556482
To out newfags like you.

>>129556402
you need some unpaid time off, robert

>>129556402
>/k/

>>129556402
That pic is /k/ personified.

>>129556568
>>129556582
Holy shit, lad.

>>129556065
>black families unironically alienate members of the family who try and leave the city to make a living, I knew a nig who went to be an entrepreneur, a rather successful one at that. Family disowned him for "being too white." Niggers really are the worst
yeah other than that they leave the city and lose access to public transpo, minimum wage service jobs, big hospitals to ditch on the bill for free healthcare

>>129556467
>black weebs might be the funniest thing on this planet

aaaaaaaaahhahahahaha fat white girl chinese cartoons

>>129556482
why don't you have pictures like that anon

>>129556467
please post more

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>>129556402

>>129556402
>Thank you anon you have saved me a lot of time
DLTE for the love of god
i blew the picture up that is the first time i have been /uncomfy/ in cpd

>>129556651
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DW31upNEEg

>Male Hispanic damaging trees

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>>129556634

>son Brett is high on cocaine, ran out naked

NAKED AND HIGH ON COCAINEEEE

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>says her son brad is high on cocaine, ran out naked, unknown direction of travel
>copy, do you want the helicopter?

Brett is having a blast.

>>129556952
PERKLEPERKLEPERKLEPERKLE

>>129556882
>>129556926
I wonder if he was the one the other caller reported screaming about aids

>>129556634
>>129556634
>The wiimote is not in her pooper
Or
>The wiimote is in her vagoo
>But the 'chuck is not in her pooper
Either way, I am disappoint.

>>129556735
No.

>>129551488
>1488
top get

>>129557218
That is the face of dismay.

>>129556952
Damn, they let loose the birds for something as simple as a doped out naked guy?

You need to be actively killing people to get tat reaction in my city.

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>>129557237
>someone finally noticed
Thank fuck. Cheers, m8.

>>129557351
>>someone finally noticed
>Thank fuck. Cheers, m8.
and classy as always didn't even say anything about it

>>129557218
>Star Platinum
ORALORALORALORALORALORALORALORAL

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>>129551488
>1488
Comfy get. Checked, Robert.

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>>129557542
I would never check my own get. That smacks of heresy

CHECK YO KEYS ROBERT

>lookin at me cray-zee
suddenly, i luvs open keys

VIET-ROBERT QUIT CREEPIN join in the fun brahh

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>>129557717
>I would never check my own get. That smacks of heresy
I once sarcastically did that on a specific one in some random /pol/ thread and some people came unhinged, redditbashing, the whole 9

on a seemingly random sidenote, is anyone familiar with this place (pic related) in terms of living there? I had an extremely attractive job offer there and am seriously considering giving it a try for a year or two. I seem to remember someone mentioning it a few weeks back

Dead body in apartment?

>female white 75 y/o hasn't been heard from in over a month, now there's a foul odor coming from her apartment

>foul odor from the apartment
>that dejected 10-4 as he is going to check it out

>>129557900
That reminds me: was there ever any update on the crazy looking nigger with the butcher knife and hook from last night?

>>129558320
he's right behind you

>male in a Camry is foaming at the mouth

>>129558320
>That reminds me: was there ever any update on the crazy looking nigger with the butcher knife and hook from last night?
Sounds like I know what you nig last summer, wish i had actually tuned in last night i took a rare break from /pol/, didn't even lurk for 24hrs

foam party

>>129558105
I haven't been that far east, sorry.

what about an update on the Uber driving rapeugees?

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>>129551511
Underrated

>>129558092
deeze fookin shoes don't make themselves, brah

>>129558517
>I haven't been that far east, sorry.
I've been to all the big cities in the Lone Star state but only driven straight through there, just hoping its not nigged out or trailertrash style in general (wouldn't mind living there in a trailer if it was in a nice area), can't find much real info on the place I guess I'm going to have to go check it out in person

>>129558864
>deeze fookin shoes don't make themselves, brah
did you ever get that lunch break?

my 2nd favorite /cpd/ meme-magician of all time is a Viet-Robert, and they have the best gangs and a fat Buddha, top tier asians in my mind

>male black threatening to kill someone in the club

>>129559033
>did you ever get that lunch break?
in viet nam never lunch, only war.

>>129559033
>just hoping its not nigged out or trailertrash style in general
The wiki makes it seem nice.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Longview,_Texas

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>>129559137
>in viet nam never lunch, only war.
child soldiers make the best running shoes, nimble fingers

>>129559555
This post contains Kek-ordained truth.

>>129559679
>This post contains Kek-ordained truth.
further proof that kek digit gibs are intended for non (complete) garbage posts

>the guy with the backpack returned
>male lying in the street at Roosevelt

>Parked in a no parking zone

all this nice homicide weather wasted with shitpost 911 calls like that make me fucking sick

>Struck her collarbone with a hammer

That's more like it

>boyfriend struck caller with a hammer

hammer time

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THE HAMMER SISTERS ARE BACK!!

how can they even accurately communicate? its just noise, they're not speaking clearly at all. i dont get it.

>male His Panic threatened to go to grandparents' house and break their windows

>>129560448
>how can they even accurately communicate? its just noise, they're not speaking clearly at all. i dont get it.
you get used to it when you work on a radio on a daily basis, easy enough to ask for a repeat, go to a side channel, or switch to the phone if necessary

>50 people in the street making noise

>approximately 50 people in the street making too much noise

>>129560684
>>50 people in the street making noise
male riverblack is moving on up

>>129560684
>>129560686
The one last night turned into mass fight. This has potential.

>>129560749
Where are these people coming from, do they just congregate naturally?

2AM! All the bars are now closing.

>[chimpish screeching]

3 SHOTS
AH AH AH

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>>129561404
fuck

>akira butler's boyfriend tried to kill her by pushing her down the stairs

>>129561442
usually the women are pregnant when Tyrone decides to push them down the stairs. I guess a normal bitch decided to act up

>several men banging on caller's door, one has a Polish accent

>unknown male is drunk and urinating in the street

Went a drinkin, now a pissin. such is life for porch monkey.

>>129554714
These niggers never understood the concept of "don't shit where you eat." Stay out of their areas and you'll be fine almost 100% of the time. If you're adjacent to a shit neighborhood, basically just be smart. Also, carry a pack of menthol cigarettes so you can give a couple away if you find yourself cornered with a nigger (or niggers) who will likely beat the shit out of you if you say no. But just be on edge, because I've had it happen where they ask you for a cigarette to distract you for a second then they sucker punch you or pull a gun.

>tall skinny black male selling drugs
>also doing drugs

>>129552508
There was a story by either Ray Bradbury or Richard Matheson about this; at a specific temperature people turn feral, in a sense.

>>129553747
what that coon just hit the pavement with his shots?

>>129563479
Limpwristing is a cardinal sin. This sinner was correctly punished.

Nig on the run
Feat. Cell Phone Tracking

>>129564083
i hope robert gives him what he wants