I can't seem to overcome my internalized, subconscious racism

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I can't eradicate some racist thoughts no matter how conscious I try to be of them. For example, I admit that I've crossed the street or had my guard up when "shady" looking (excuse the term) black men have walked past me. I haven't done the same when it comes to white men. This is abjectly racist behavior and I'm disgusted with myself. I then try to rationalize it by thinking that "well, the only people who've harassed me on the street have been underprivileged black men, so I'm just playing the odds for the sake of safety". But I know that's horribly racist as well. I'm really ashamed that I'm struggling with this and I find myself blaming myself for walking around at night and visiting neighborhoods that are somewhat grittier. The fact of the matter is, most of the people I'm so subconsciously scared of are just honest, hard-working humans going about their life -- and here I am judging them. I know they notice me cross the street. I know they see me tense up. How can I train myself to be better?

Here's another issue -- today it was announced that NYC was planning to integrate public schools with busing. I understand that this was long-needed. It makes no sense that you have certain school districts that are 90% white while others are majority minority. But instinctively, I was frustrated by this news. I immediately started worrying for my children's safety and the quality of their education. I made it about myself, when really, it should have been about the people it will really affect -- the children. I look forward to my kids being enriched with diversity, but in the recesses of my mind, I still worry. I don't want to be so disgustingly hypocritical and racist any longer. I'd love to hear your thoughts.