Brit/pol/ - Election Special, 2nd edition

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What's for dinner lads?

The absolute state of the electorate, lads.

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RUMORS THAT SKIMMED HAS LOST HIS SEAT

MORE SOON

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Look HERE you labour scum

Britin is for the BRITISH AND WE WILL FUCKING FIGHT TO the last man to protect HER MAJESTIE

*drops mic*

Rule Britannia CUNTS I'm out...

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a few more spaces

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Millwall

we're in here
>>129060628
>>129060628
>>129060628

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I AM TOO EXCITED

>>129063593
Conservative tears.

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>>129063624
>counting not even started yet

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>>129063677
or Trump

>>129063334
F

>UKIP wasn't running in my area
Im so sorry nige

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>>129063593

Who /StayingUpAllNight/ here?

Don't know what to do myself. Got work at 8am in the morning and I have to drive for 10 hours.

Do I risk my life finding out the results?

https://twitter.com/TRobinsonNewEra/status/872900766855516162

REEEEEEEEEEEE

POST MORE TWITTER RUMOURS FFS

**** OFFICIAL BRIT/POL/ EXIT POLL ****
http://www.strawpoll.me/13140045

http://www.strawpoll.me/13140045

http://www.strawpoll.me/13140045

If Labour win what are you lads planning to do?

Me, take the free tuition then leave as soon as possible.

Conservative columinst attacked in the street by butt hurt liberal

https://twitter.com/KTHopkins/status/872824336905895936

>tfw you can smell kebab outside

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Which one of you was this?

>>129063593
My missus was supposed to make me lasagna but she didn't so i ordered a pizza instead. Will have to beat her when she gets in.

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>>129063722

rumour has been bubbling all day, Farron lost his but Cleggy is alright

>>129063646
>"But Corbyn's a man of the people"
>something about privatisation
>"Dianne Abbot for Labour Leader"

etc

Quick, pass me screenshots and images including or about
>Corbyn saying something stupid
>Brithappening
>Hard BREXIT

>>129063842
YKTD

>>129063792
Who are the people who religiously vote libdem

Explain them to me, please

>>129063842
a muslim

>>129063825
Bunker down for 4 years of hell and hope that May is out by the next election, but be happy we protected the internet.

I really....really..fucking hate this GE.

This just in from insiders at CCHQ

Tories: 35%
Labour: 39%
LD: 14%
UKIP: 4%

>>129063842
Knew YKTD hadn't killed himself

ffs, lads, stop thread splitting. reeee

in here:

>>129060628

>>129060628

>>129060628

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>>129063842

>>129064000
Not worth protecting the internet if you won't be able to afford it once Corbyn is done.

>>129063973

Old Anglicans usually.

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>>129063334
No hate speech. No thought crimes.

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>>129063927

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Today we seize the means of production lads.

>>129063723
>tfw no WE candidate in my area

post more Charlotte Smashing Bags Hodivola lads

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Vote for Corbyn! He'll build more houses and raise the minimum wage to £10/hr. And keep us in the single market with free movement of workers to and from the EU.

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>>129063593
Someone recommend me something to make. Going Tesco's soon.

this was posted first:


>>129060628

>>129060628

>>129060628

>>129064001
It's time to leave Juan

>>129063646
'They hate britain'
'Goodbye NHS'

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>>129063891
i know they're nothing to do with politics, but i fucking love these

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19 MINUTES UNTIL THE EXIT POLL LADS

CAN NAY WAIT!

>>129064037

this tripfag has been making threads for the whole day

what time will we really start to see proper results ?

like 1 - 2 am ?

i really can't be arsed staying up

>tfw scottish living in edinburgh and my conservative vote will be meaningless

>>129064125
I'm not leaving

>>129063842
Can the police arrest Muslims for shouting 'Kill all the Jews'? How does that work? I know with SJWs steam stars coming out of their ears when they have to choose who is more oppressed between Jews and Muslims, but what about in Law? Is it racist for the police to arrest Muslims for wanting to kill Jews when it is part of their culture?

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The true thread

Use this thread:

>>129060628

>>129060628

>>129060628

Move back to this one later, lads.

>>129064167
its at 10, not 9

>>129063973
Disgusting centrists.

>>129064125
>>129064037

It was posted first because the same cunt keeps thread splitting at 200 posts

>>129063593

Anyone else getting spam warning for typing a n g u s robertson?

>>129064212
Wasn't this blurred on the beeb?

>>129064221
Fuck off

>>129064167
>19 MINUTES

You fucking spastic

>>129064221

nah

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>NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>IT WAS HIS TURN

>>129064063
THE INTERNET MUST ALWAYS BE PROTECTED.

Fuck it I'm gonna start drowning my sorrows.

WHO ELSE HERE A #CORBYN_CRUSADER?

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>>129064212

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>>129063842
>thug

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>>129064125

>>129063842
>A voter allegedly suffered anti-Semitic abuse
Sounded pretty impersonal. like "Fucking jews", rather than being directed toward a specific person.

>>129063646
muh exams, muh ramadan should be there somewhere

>>129063334
I used to love wallace and gromit when I was young


also have fun either living in a neo marxist experiment or a regulated police state haha

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UKIP SURGE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hla1cFbJ9OU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hla1cFbJ9OU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hla1cFbJ9OU

ELECTION STREAM!!!!!!!!!!

>>129063774
Not worth it lad. Don't stay up.
You already know that Jeremy has won. No need to stay up to savour his victory.
Think about poor Theresa. Let's not rub the defeat in her smug, hateful, bearded, terrorist-sympathising, Dianne-Abbott-kissing face. He's suffered enough.

>>129064167
More like an hour and 19 minutes?

This just in from my dad at CCHQ

Tories: 58%
Labour: 26%
LD: 9%
UKIP: 2%

>>129063891
i love these

>>129064200
>i really can't be arsed staying up
>If I wake up and see Jezza's grinning face...

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>>129064345
join the queue lad

>>129063842
Probably some Rabbi.

>>129063646
MUH EHHN AYTCH ESSSS should go in the free space

>>129063800
Fuck sake

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>>129064145

you'll never find him

why are all the shops out of tekken 7 i just want to dress up kuma

>>129063646
fox hunting needs to be a tile

>>129064370
fuckin 'ell

my dad works at mr kipling factory somewhere in Kent

100% UKIP

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tories eternally btfo
parliament now decided by whispering ladies in queues

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>friendly reminder that your next prime minister loves my countrymen more that his own

What should I dink tonight "lads"?

Maybe some gin and curry, traditional british food.

>>129064370
>dat bulge
Her vag must be the size of a toddlers head.

>>129064064
>>129064257
So habitual fence sitters?

If we've learnt one thing from this thread, is CCHQ is massively overstaffed.

>>129064570

Things that never happened.

Guys. Meant to be meeting a brit/pol/er in this wetherspoons and there's two groups of guys I suspect to be them. How do I do a subtle signal?

>>129063774
Not worth your life m8.

>>129064590
liberal tears

>>129064650
My fucking sides.

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>>129064411
ukip will surge alright, to the ground

>>129064639
Jealous roastie detected.

>>129064590
Cup o' tea for your old man, my boy.

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>>129064518
>swerve nobleman

EXIT POLL LEAK

CONS 42%
LAB 39%
LIB 8%
UKIP 5%
GRE 2%
OTH 4%

>>129064669
"Heil Hitler!"

At the top of your lungs.

>>129064453
How do you post from February?

https://twitter.com/BBCNews/status/872788892730220544

>>129064669
Shout something autistic like tunnocks tea cakes

>>129064570
>Corbynfan

I doubt his impartiality in this subject.

>100 posts in 8 minutes
Im off til 10pm. Might aswell talk to the fucking wall

>>129064122
Chips

>>129064470
if he wins (kek as if) i would be pissed off, going out with the lads all day saturday and being scottish they all hate conservative, i cant handle the bants that would ensue

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vote corbyn, u get me?

>>129064308

Nothing irritates me more than graphs with inaccurately scaled bars

>>129064570
I somehow doubt this happened

Results are in
Con 43%
Lab 32%
UKIP 18%
LibDem 4%
Others 3%

This is my super psychic selection

>>129064570
Had a similar experience near me. Hordes of OAP's were approaching the polling station. A young urban looking chap in a snap-back whispered 'this is what we feared'.

>>129064669
yell "hail victory"

Is there anyway to determine voter turnout before 10pm?

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>>129064570
>parliament decided by whispering ladies in queues
well that's not a proper basis for a system of government

>>129064669
Wear a Harambe or Pepe badge.

>>129064888
Pretend to be from CCHQ and shitpost it into reality.

>>129064888
I think most legit polling organisations probably keep to the rules.

>>129064650
Kek

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/r/UK on suicide watch

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>>129064669

Why is nobody leaking early exit polls yet?

Can't fucking wait to see the leftists on Twitter bitch and moan.

Waah muh old people
Waah muh bankers

Mmmmm

>>129064649
Yes. Lib Dems are centrists (still left of Democrats), Labour is left (basically islamic gommunists by US standards) and Tories/Conservatives are right (Equivilent to centrist Democrats)

if Chelmsford wetherspoons guy is reading. Sat in grey, facing the TV to the left of the pub

>>129064747
Left coalition: 41%
LAB 39%
GRE 2%

Right coalition 47%:
CONS 42%
UKIP 5%

Whom Lib is going to choose?

>>129064994
Didn't have much respect for him anyway but it's all just gone. Thought he would've been Labour or UKIP. What a prat.

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THE BLAIRITES MUST BE PUT TO THE SWORD

On holiday in florida. Just mailed my ballot for daddy Corbyn :)

Can't wait for the youth SURGE and RED landslide lads

Yes yes well done Momentum well done

HOWEVER

>>129064994
Jim was properly jewed out of his career

>>129064860
based grannys

>>129065070
i see you lad.

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>>129063593
Crispy king prawns with chilli sauce.

>>129064122
Make some burgers lad

>>129065039
Whats great is that it'll be a rollercoaster for them, the exit poll will be bad and they'll kick off, their hopes will get raised by all the earlier Labour seats and then the Tory onslaught will start.

>>129065102
After what happened to Nick Clegg? Lab

>>129064994
nice one Jim. Government funded Big Break return when?

>>129064073
Thanks, anon. Got anything more?

>>129065171
THINGS CAN

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Lads, filter the Yanks. Improve the thread. if nobody replies to them, they will leave.

>>129064669
Yell "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD"

>the choices that have a chance are all cucks

this wont stop article 50 will it? best of luck brits but this seems to a race between 2 turds

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posh boyz getting nervous

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>tfw watching Bridge on the River Kwai
>Eating Lamb leg steaks, chips, mushrooms and peas with a nice helping of mint sauce on the side

I don't think I'll be this comfy again. Hopefully Corbs gets btfo which will increase the comfyness ten fold

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>>129065171

>>129065171

Jeremy Corbyn is like 70. He'll probably be dead by the next election

desu i think the vote is rigged and Corbyn is going to win so they can fuck over the EU referendum result.

>>129063891
>rumour has been bubbling all day

THE COUNTING HASN'T STARTED YET

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>>129063593

dying for a pizza lad

>>129065070

>not setting up a Whatsapp group beforehand

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>>129065171

>>129064888
There are rumours and that's it

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>>129063593

Have a guess

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>>129063593

>>129065197
Now I'm shitting myself. cheers.

>>129064518
Several kings in Denmark where killed in barns. If only they had listened to the Kings in the rest of Europe and had hid in a castle.
It makes a lot of sense, in a barn there is only a limited number of places you can hide, in a castle there a hundreds.

>>129065269
No one is leaving its election night you faggot

What did you guys bet on tonight?

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>>129064744

>>129065315
Still younger than the skeleton warrior, assuming she's even human.

>>129065321
grab that knife and bin that chance

>>129065325
>thinking you need to count the vote to know the result
anon..I

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story of this election:
high yoof turnout in labour safe seats

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>>129065371
clearly not your fault lad.

>>129063677
Based Palece or charlton scum

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>tfw just voted for a fucking independent

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>>129064845
Annoying leaf spotted
You have to go leaf
We don't care where you go
But you can't stay here

>>129065377
Jelly of that pie.

>>129065102
If LibDem ever get to be kingmakers again, Labour, the coalition with the Tories was a disaster for them. Farron wouldn't even consider it.

Not going to happen though, the Yoof is voting Labour and that's traditionally a major chunk of the Lib Dem's vote.

>>129063334
>Theresa May likes sharia
>Labor likes sharia
You guys literally cant win, why are we caring about this election?

>>129065371
that bowl looks manky, the absolute state of your eating vessels lad

>>129065371
mmmmmmm bread sammich in milk with hp sauce

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>>129063891

>>129065466
come on you spurs

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>tfw you try to half-arse the Captcha and it keeps asking you to do more because it knows you got it wrong

IF YOUR FUCKING NEURAL NETWORK ALREADY KNOWS WHAT FUCKING CARS LOOK LIKE, GOOGLE, WHY DO YOU KEEP ASKING ME?

Why not munchy box Captchas asking me to pick out the doner meat?

>hour to go until polls close

Do i bother to go vote even though i'm in an ultra safe seat lads?

Labour voters are the new vegans. Literally every 5 minutes they tell you they're voting Labour. Like I give a fuck

>>129065331
>says he wants a pizza lad
>in the pizzagate era
Watch your mouth

>>129065530
It's a choice between Sharia Law and Privatised Railways and Sharia Law and Nationalised Railways. I'll take the latter thank you very much

>>129065171
i want to ficky ficky her bi polar ass and sing allahu akbark.

>>129065212
do you have krispy kreme on your side?

>>129065484
It's ok, there really is no good vote here.

>>129065371
god tier keyboard

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>>129065641

>>129065639
Vegans are Labour voters.

Any live spreadsheet like last year?

When do you reckon results will start coming in?

>>129065641
>don't register properly
>not allowed to vote
>REEE RIGGED ELECKSHUN!

>>129065639
someone's been on twitter today

>>129065641
Same here in Cornwall. Dumb cunts just can't do anyhting right, no conspiracy they're just shit.

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and lots of variations of 'i annoyed my parents until they told me they voted labour but they probably still voted conservative because they have to pay for my lifestyle'

>>129065754
All results will be in by 10pm and then the BBC will report it

>>129065754
First result will be Sunderland at about 10:45 (They always race for getting the result first). Next ones can be expected around midnight

>>129065754
http://election.pressassociation.com/Declaration_times/general_2017_by_time.php

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Corbyn is accused by Tories of being antisemitic. Do you think this is actually true? He's certainly anti-Zionist but I don't think he's really antisemitic.

>>129065631
you could pick up a few beers if you haven't already and watch Owen Jones meltdown on ITV.

>>129065783
do people actually believe this shit?

>>129065813
They start COUNTING at 10pm you fucking mongoloid.

>>129065558

The bowl is older than me.

Do not question the integrity of the bowl, heathen.

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Jim's drinking and is slowly having a meltdown.

>>129065612
>write detailed thought out post
>Captcha is 'select all street signs' on a picture of an indonesian urban intersection
>more squares with signs that without
>not just reversing the question
>get sent to 'select all shopfronts'
>shop fronts respawn infinitely, never verifies
>'You have lost connection to Google Captcha'
>Delete post
i fucking despise google for this alone - i thought they were meant to be smart.

>>129065745
The Guardian site has a good map that's updated sometimes quicker than the BBC.

>>129063334
Stop making threads.

You're splitting us up.

>>129065813
>All results will be in by 10pm

Get a load of this guy

>>129065641
Same with Brexit and the US elections. Everyone gearing up to shout 'Rigged' in the event their candidate of choice doesn't get picked. Both sides generally do it 'just in case' too, sad for democracy.

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i'm torn, lads

on one hand i want brexit to suceed so the mayne the V4 can start to get uppity and leave with relative sucess also. i hate the eu and want them to collapse so my country can be free

but i hate england too much. i told my grandparents in the north to vote labour

it's a loose loose. i cant be happy with either decision. i think this is the question most irishmen have to ask themselves
>"do i hate england enough to let my own country be destroyed?"


i think think the answer is yes

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I've got nothing on except me undies and my union jack

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>TOOO FAST
This isn't comfy at all

>>129065906
No, I'm pretty certain they count them as soon as they're in the box lad.

At 10pm Dimbleby tells you the results, and who had got how many seats.

>>129063334
is there a non-bong livecast, they're all geoblocked from australia

don't forget to vote angus lads

>>129065866
If he loses it doesn't matter if he wins and it is true I expect him to either to be couped resign or die in an ""accident""".

WILL THERE BE AN EXIT POLL? IS IT USUALLY ACCURATE?

>>129066028
Just filter foreign flags. The thread goes as fast but you see far fewer posts.

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>>129065783
semi-related

>>129065783
Getting flashbacks of
https://www.instagram.com/p/BMCK16ZFWJR/

My 8 year old wife's Muslim son is literally shaking right now. I told him if May wins she'll come to the house, bash his skull in with a hammer and rape his mother. Theresa May is evil! #voteCorbyn

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>>129066064
oops

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L-lads?

>>129065928
invite him here.

>>129065631
vote UKIP if you can lad - more vote % equals more visibility on question time etc as they base it off that

>>129063677
Its Millhouse you dumb fuck.

https://twitter.com/reporterboy/status/872905098355191808

>>129065866
Anti-zionist and anti-semitic are considered essentially the same in certain circles.

>>129065980
labour will outperform the exit poll by about 1% - a lot of difficulties in administering high turnouts in some areas, those extra are likely to break for labour. gonna be tight in a lot of areas, i think we might see the PM decided by groundgame on the day.

>>129066071
At 10 pm and usually pretty accurate

>>129066144
>popular vote poll predicts hung parliament
i thought this guy is smart

Wetherspoons fag. where are you sat. christ this was poor planned

>>129065437
Conservative majority of 1-24 seats

>>129066144
YouGov is the product of two very rich Tories, so it is in their interest to make sure that potential Tory voters do not think "oh well, we're going to win anyway, may as well not vote".

>>129066144
Didn't their final poll predict an increased tory majority?

>>129066144

That's the poll from yesterday bender.

>>129066144
(((YOUGOV)))
remember last election in 2015?
how there was gonna be a hung parliament and Labour and Torys were all neck and neck?

>>129066144
hung parliament is part of the best case scenario
we want the tories to have a coalition with ukip

>>129065631
>Do i bother to go vote even though i'm in an ultra safe seat lads?

Yes. So you can hold your head up high knowing you did it, lad.

So that if shit hits the fan you can take responsibility for it or say "I didn't vote for this"

>>129066028
Somebody make a thread in /vg/ so we can have a higher post count.

It'll be ages before the mods penetrate our bongistani slang and figure out we're not discussing vidya.

>>129065884
They have a good old tug over stuff like this.

who /scared/ here?

1 HOUR TO GO LADS

>>129066087
god I'm so glad Hillary didn't win, we would have never heard the end of "MUH GIRL POWER"

>>129066223
its really at 10? i thought midnight

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>>129066144

>Richard Dawkins

>>129066140
The funny thing is these retards don't realize voting SNP will be HELPING the Tories.

SNP have an upper limit of votes.
Most of Scotland already voted them last time.
Labour lost because of that.
Labour have had to try convert ENGLAND instead.
If they fail, we get a Tory win and SNP will still be useless.
kek

>>129066344
Yeah, polls are basically worthless these days.

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>>129064744

STOP THREAD SPLITTING YOU MORONS

I'VE GOT ENOUGH STRESS TODAY AS IT IS

>>129066191
Why does these people know with such certainty?
People are shouting who they're voting for in the polling station

I remember Isabel Hardman confirmed Nigel lost Thanet at something like 1am

>>129066346
Ukip has 0 seats now and will have 0 seats tomorrow

>>129065693
No.

>>129066306
he told you he's wearing grey and sat near the telly

just voted for a tory that doesn't even live in the constituency ;)

>>129066422
Me. /scared/ May will get in with a majority. Muh freedums and bennies.

>>129066346
will UKIP even get any seats? don't you have some sort of "winner take it all system"?

STOP TRIPFAG THREAD-SPLITTING

>>129060628

>>129060628

>>129060628

>>129060628

>>129060628

STOP TRIPFAG THREAD-SPLITTING

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Get ready to go behind enemy lines onto twitter and leddit to capture that arsehurt lads.

>>129066434
I THOUGHT ENGLAND WAS SIX HOURS AHEAD
I CAN'T WAIT ONE MORE HOUR
F U C K

Why does >>>/pol/ always treat elections like a sport?

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ONE HOUR TO GO UNTIL 4CHAN IS REGULATED LADS, HURRAH

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T MINUS ONE HOUR FOR THE EXIT POLL

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5HLGaVyXtg

1. From Russia With Love
2. Dr No.
3. Goldfinger
4. Thunderball
5. A View to a Kill
6. Licence to Kill
7. Casino Royale
8. Living Daylights
9. Tomorrow Never Dies
10. Spy Who Loved Me
11-26. rest

>>129066422
me. terribly.

>>129066607
Kek.

>>129066525
i-it's just a best case scenario, no matter how unlikely it is

>>129066596
go away

>>129066078
But some of us are Brits

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The Heavens Open!

>>129066048
Go to bed.

>>129066223
fuck, i just realized you're an hour behind..

>>129066472
Yes

>>129060628

>>129060628

>>129060628

>>129060628

>>129060628

NEW THREAD

>>129066511
Sounding confident can swing last-minute undecided voters.

>>129066607
in what way? betting on it?

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>>129066596
Stop posting early you cunt

Reported

>>129066607

It is like a sport and today is the world cup final.

>>129066699
I only have Yanks, South Africans and the irish filtered atm and it makes the thread 100 times better.

Wow that Sky News intro thing was cringey

>>129066607
looks like someone is on the loosing side..

>>129066596
kys.

New election edition

>>129066732

>>129066732

>>129066732

>>129066732

>>129066732

Will there be an election sticky to take some of the flak or will britpol threads be horribly fast?

>>129065230
Shout, gonna post in the next few threads. See you lads there.

>>129066666
lets see it

>>129063891
>>129064145
>>129064518
>>129064744
>>129065441

Holy kek where did these come from?

>>129066607

It feels like im on /sp/ during the olympics

Thread splitting faggots I will end you all I swear

>>129066735
FUCK OFF THREADSPLITTER AND YOUR SHITTY FUCKING THREADS

>>129066723
Waiting until 10 when the results are in lady daddy cruddy

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>>129066607
Politics is the ultimate sport, complete domination over how the losers live

>>129065928
that guy literally leaves the country if labour are in power, kek

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>>129065612
I wish we had those in England. I would destroy one of those in a heartbeat.

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>>129066661
>Tomorrow Never Dies in top 10

Good lad

>>129065641

Literally just walked in with my poll card and voted. in and out in under 5 minutes. kek.

>>129066607
At least we're not blowing millions of fucking vuvuzelas you cunt.

>>129066144
um, no sweetie, yougov are now predicting a tory majority

>>129066751
Yes. I hear there are a few agencies that have already jumped on the bandwagon.

LABOUR WON'T REGULATE 4CHAN, NERDS

>>129063890
What a fucking bitch

NEW election edition

>>129066732

>>129066732

>>129066732

>>129066732

>>129066843
every time olympics roles around I forget to visit /sp/, is it worth it?

This thread is ded someone start a new one quick thanks bai

>>129064063
>Not wanting to protect the british world wide web

Fucking faggot

>>129063334
Anyone can tell me short what corbyn's opinion of imigration/integration. And what will happen to these issues if he wins

Cheers!

>>129066809
I told you you'd do and it you'd like it; useful little tripfag that you are

http://www.strawpoll.me/13138868/r

Only degenerates didn't vote The Christian Party

>>129067059

Its good just for the banter

>>129065737
I'm not, fuck socialism

>>129067124

Against free movement as it undercuts wages
Immigration will meet the needs of the economy

>>129067124
The same as if the tories win