/CPD/ First of Evening Edition

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>>128677035
Thank you, Robert. I was just starting to sweat wondering where our comfy zone was. Let the games begin.

>>128677619

Yeah a bit late of a start tonight

>>128678021

Top fucking kek. What is that from?

I haven't been on /pol/ in a while, glad to see these threads still kicking

Check yo keys

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>>128678151
>Yeah a bit late of a start tonight
Not for the coonery.

I tuned in 7pm Chicago time first call was negress throwing a baby down a flight of stairs followed by a nigger shot dead in the street then shots fired at officers (no Roberts hit and niggers quickly apprehended).


Oh, and some open keys.

>>128678641
> negress throwing a baby down a flight of stairs

Not surprising given everything I've heard on here and seen on live leak.

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>>128677035
Is there a way we can get like a random bingo scorecard generator for the Chicago Scanner

>>128678858

She looks like an octaroon.

>>128678021

What is this from?

>>128679106
It's a nice idea for something to code. If there's a programming language Robert prefers I could start the project

Evening, Roberts.

What time last night The Great White Noise issue was fixed?

>He tried to commit suicide by the use of a knife
Amateur.

>>128680205

Christ she has an ork name from 40k.

>>128680774
I think its hilarious they told the fire department and they responded with "we're not doing that, he's got a knife" I kekd

>>128681474

Just let him kill himself at this point.

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>>128680044
Some sources point to Blacklist, but I cannot verify it at the moment.

Also, pic related.

>>128681591

Way too many kids and women in that room for it to be accurate.

>>128680044
The Blacklist: Redemption s1e5
http://www.tvguide.com/news/the-blacklist-redemption-recap-howard-comic-book/

CPD here. 10-1 tonight, shots fired at the police by savages. Here's the audio. Enjoy.

https://clyp.it/1zjtrqiw

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In for comfy. Good evening, Roberts.

>>128682994

It's high time for coonery.

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>>128680205
>female refuses to leave walgreens

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>people getting ready to fight

By the way, anyone remembers last night's incident when the caller (a woman) screamed, dropped the call and then all calls to her number went to the voicemail? Well, It happened around 01:30 EST, and there is a shooting victim (F/22) from that same time according to HeyJackass.

>>128683088
I hear good things so far. I am ready.

>>128683418
Oh, shit.

>drag racers
>or at least cars chasing each other

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Good afternoon Robert's. what is everyone drinking tonight?

The night is not complete without /cpd/

>>128683418
F

checkin ma key boyos

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Not sure why some people even try to raise kids here.

>Neighbors front door open

>>128684097
So far a bottle and half of wine while I finish my notes from the hospital.

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>>128684097
>what is everyone drinking

>>128684713
I do love a Dindu Mary

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>SIX
>SIX SHOTS FIRED
>AH AH AH

What is that God forsaken sound?

>>128685498
dead black male trying to comunicate with the living

>pulled a stick on her and took her cell phone

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>>128685625
Kek

>brother is stabbing grandmother and mom
>black male

>OD on 51st street

Wonder how many people OD in Chimpcago in a day?

>>128686111
I'm a psychiatrist. It's a shitton, trust me.

>the stove is on fire

>>128683367
It's kind of funny, I told my dad about some of the shenanigans and schemes the trailer park boys get into and he said "shit, I knew people like that in Detroit." Years ago (before I ever had watched the show) he told me about how he and his friend almost got arrested in their meat stealing operation (they had a trunk full of fast food burgers).

>Male black dressed in black is robbing people by McDonald's

>>128686517

hi nigel

>>128686773

Why not just rob the McDonald's at that point?

>>128686873
What's my middle name nigger.

How are my Roberts doing? How comfy cozers is everyone?

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>>128687633

Oh shit!!
>softball in the park

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>remember these from last year
>coonery went to an all time high on July the 4th
Who else is ready for Nigmas to come around?

>person shot
>car vs pole

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>>128687735
Remember that Chicago starts at One and fluctuates around Two, sometimes barely scraping by under Three. One tiny nudge, and this place is going up.

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>>128688154
SUPER ready, friend. Here's my family photo WIP. I will unveil the final version to celebrate the 4th this year.

>>128677035
niggers and spics chimp out all over the city
/thread
/futurethreads

>Male Black and Female Black have made a mess in a store

>someone hit his vehicle with a gallon of milk

Hit car with a gallon of milk.

>>128688911
Unless you live in a city where this is common enough that you can see it for yourself or through other sources so you don't need to tune in, there is no reason to tune out. Welcome to reality.

>>128689532
White supremacists are at it again.

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>mfw finding time to talk on the radio at my department is hard enough

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>>128689994
Where do you work?

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>>128690149
Meechigan

Who the fuck is "roberts"?

>>128690370
1st shift cops.

What's second shift called?

>>128690370
Robert is the call sign for all night shift units.

>>128690468
Adam

>>128690468
Daytime cops are Adam.

He may be on drugs.

anyone listen to adam? is it as bad ?

Cool, cool... I thought you guys were just calling the Chicago cops "Roberts" because of the counterfeit toy meme. I'm from northern IL, but still about an hour and half from downtown Chi.

>>128690705
I'm sure they get their fair share, but niggaz definitely typically work the night shift.
https://youtu.be/0uSn98gkT1Y

KEYS

>>128690535
and Adam is a based hero like Robert?

Shopping cart refusing to leave.

>even civvies need their keys checked

>>128690818
Stay a while, and listen. Robert is how dispatch addresses them.

>>128690855
Adam is somewhat incompetent with his radios.

Has anyone ever done a ride-along with CPD? Do they even really allow them?

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>>128683162

Has anyone ever hear the dispatcher start off with "male white..."?

Evening, Roberts...

So seems a basketball team is escorting a young lady to a quiet place.

Hello fellow Roberts

>>128691191
Welcome back, VietRobert. Ho are you doing today?

>>128691191
>>128691237
Good morning Roberts

Oh. roberts........ next time.

>>128691270
thanks for asking... just trying to stitch up enough footwear to be rewarded with a lunch break & a labor award.

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Good Morning, Roberts. I'm delivering coffee in space.

>"Aaagh Mixtape" *clownhorn*
wat?

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>>128691511
Haha WORK FASTER OR U NO GET RICE ONRY STEAM!

A. FUCKING. UHAUL.

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good morning roberts

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get dat uhaul

>>128691879
>The UHAUL is back
Oh boy. The summer is heating up if the bloodthirsty Uhaul is out of hibernation

War Zone Robert here
You'd think the Amazon vans would be easier to use since all Amazon does is apply on a peel-on sticker

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ONE!
ONE SHOT FIRED!
AH AH AH

>>128687289

ramos faggot nigger

Are the Cook County radio code accurate? I'm trying to keep up with the dispatch.

CAN'T FIND HIS CAR
oh boy

You can call the cops when you lose your car?!

>>128692564
shikaka

Lost Cubs fan Roberts!! Immediate assistance required.

>>128692675
But he's a cubs fan!

>>128692675
once in a rare while it's towed or broken into
>we got a SHITLOAD of no parking signs, usually a 8x8 block radius of any given ball field

male white... wife upset... situation all good, roberts.

>>128692675
>>128692698
>>128692809
>>128692865
cubs won

>>128692966
So expect parties that turn violent instead of just violence?

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>male white with a gun

>>128692966
oh fuck, i don't follow sports

>male white with a gun
sounds like halloween came early

male white was law enforcement... plot thickens

Do you guys think CPD knows a bunch of autists listen in and discuss the various goings on every night?

>>128693014
yes and also lots of drunken shenanigans

>>128693226
Not just that, but "The dark heart of the Internet" cheers Robert on too.

>>128693226
I've heard that they do, we've had some CPD cops come into the threads before

>>128693226
In a general sense, but not us specifically.

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>>128693014
expect drunks

>>128693226
Probably. They probably don't give two fucks though. They're just doing their job. One hard as fuck job.

>>128693249
>>128693369
Thank goodness.

>Oakley to Western that fast
SPEED WEED

it would be cool to get a shout out from Robert or something

>>128677035

I learnt barbafic shit todays.;

>>128693530
Help them buy some body armor. Couldn't hurt.

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Real Nigga Hours has arrived.

we all chip in 5bucka

which one is the sexy dispatcher?

is it sassy?

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REAL
NIGGA
HOURS
WHO
TF
UP
?!

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>>128693840
Different flavors for different neighbors, my niqqa. I prefers Sassy, but Crabby, Wanda, and Spicy Chica have their own followings.

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>>128693849
Roberts... 10-4.

>>128693849

but we wuz kangz n shiet

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>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6Cd5pSObTY

>>128693402
I hope they know that they've at least got us as a surrogate appreciative public. We understand the risks they take and are damn grateful they're willing to take them.

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>>128693929
>Spicy Chica

Have some more background music. Its some anon off /r9k/'s collection of music used on the weather channel in the 80s and 90s
https://open.spotify.com/user/oceanlake/playlist/3BGIiSGS8xSfHLKy7UwsWx

>>128694210
>collection of music used on the weather channel in the 80s and 90s
Oh I'm all about this shit. Thanks for the hook up, anon.

>>128678021
see, goys!! the alt right are the ones who kill people with bike locks!!

>>128694327
What in the FUCK does that have to do with real roberts?

>>128694413

real roberts would fuck antifa up

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>>128694413
Well, it WAS in the webm. The dude locked all the innocentbrowns in his office with a bikelock while he literally gassed them.

if robert can beat black male ... antifa would not stand a chance

Leafs... I'm surrounded by leafs...
Real Roberts have to worry about male black and Chi.
You guys can fuck around with those antifa autists. They are the least Chicago's problems.

>dun wokes up and muh headz busted and muh roll gon

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SIX
SIX SHOTS FIRED
AH AH AH

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>>128695022

>>128694651
Antifa depends on Robert to keep them safe from Male Black.

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you mean Robert keeps antifa and black male safe from ME

Maybe I should move from my /comfy/ department to become a Robert and be pols ambassador.

female black going to neck her self under the bed

>call from laqueesha, under her bed with a gun

what is her endgame?

finding her long lost babies daddy or free kfc

>>128695544
>>128695599
>>128695677

>>128695599
Laqueesha, remememba dat dis be a sneekin mission. Keep dat sheeiit on da DL squad!

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>>128695599
>>128695599
negresses are not usually known for thinking that far ahead

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When was the last shooting?

I know there was an OIS earlier today.

And the silken, sad, uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me—filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
“’Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door—
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door;—
This it is and nothing more.”

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
“Sir,” said I, “or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you”—here I opened wide the door;—
Darkness there and nothing more.

>>128696045
dat dat nigga poe?

>>128695858

50% fatality rate today as of last heyjackass update. 6 shot 3 dead.

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Chicago or Florida, which is worse? I'm tempted to listen to the Miami police scanner for a change of pace.

>car on fire

>>128696573
I wonder if we'll top three in June.

>>128691511
>thanks for asking... just trying to stitch up enough footwear to be rewarded with a lunch break & a labor award.
Vietrobert routinely one of top 3 best /cpd/ posters

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>>128694108

>males with guns in his back yard threatening to kill him

>>128696319
Do you know Spanish?
It's worse than L.A. as far as language barrier

>>128696158
yeee boi

>>128697172
this could be a happening

>>128694492
'68 styley

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>be robert
>wake up 10pm
>bed empty
>ex left
>go shower
>drive to work
>throw on uniform and vest
>let dispatch know you're in service
>immediately for the next 12 hours there are no breaks
>deal with MALE BLACK all night
>see kids caught in the midst of crime
>see moms lose their kids to gangs
>respond to call after call
>mind begins to go numb
>repeat day after day
>become cynical
>repeat for 25 years
>budget issues, have to work 14 days in a row
>no time to have a social life
>lose 3 close friends over course of career to MALE BLACK
>retire when you're 50
>die when you're 55

Thus is the life of Robert
>

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>>128696319
SEE IT:
Florida man who threw alligator into Wendy’s drive-thru lets reptile chomp on his arm
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/florida-man-throws-alligator-wendy-s-article-1.2592750

Male Floridian, 1 gator fired in Loxahatchee Wendy's, dudeweed smile unkempt hair light complected

William Edwards

That's my name

>>128697485
Im new to /CPD/ can I get a quick rundown on the Robert meme?

>>128698173
No

>>128698173
code name for cops on the night time shift

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>>128698173
>Im new to /CPD/ can I get a quick rundown on the Robert meme?

>ex boyfriend threatening girl with a knife

>>128698173

ROBERT is the hero Chiraq needs. ROBERT is the dispatch code name for night shift officers.

MALE BLACK is his nemesis. MALE BLACK is the dispatch code name for criminals. MALE BLACK does things like SHOTS FIRED, and DOMESTIC DISPUTE.

ROBERT does what he can in the wasteland that is Chiraq. We root for ROBERT to APPREHEND MALE BLACK.

>>128679333
>She looks like an octaroon.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HHRfuLVfls

>>128698259
>>128698492
Very insightful. Thank you
So how often do happenings happen in these threads?

>>128699067
It is always happening here. Sometimes it simmers, sometimes it boils.

>>128691144
>that name
doomed from birth

>>128699067
>So how often do happenings happen in these threads?
Alot. I heard a Robert get shot a few weeks ago

>>128699122
Best description of /CPD/ yet

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SIX
SIX SHOTS FIRED
AH AH AH AH AH

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Thanks for making these threads.

I am comfy listening to this and it makes me happy knowing that something crazy can happen at any moment.

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>>128699122
>Sometimes it simmers, sometimes it boils
I can see a two image vert
first image is the simmer, maybe robert dealing with one person
Sometimes it boils
pic of a stage 5 chimp out

>>128679106
>http://www.broadcastify.com/listen/feed/763/web
this is an awesome idea dude

we need a random bingo card generator

>playing peek a boo behind the polls in the parking lot
wut?

>Guy saying peeka boo behind a pole in a parking lot.
Top kek

>>128699822
People will get salty when their card has Femaile Asian.

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shots fired

>>128700460
How many?

Only gonna be here for a few, this shit finally working? It being down sucked.

>>128700540
It's working

>>128700505
a number 3.....a number 7....uh...annnnnd a number 20

>>128700568
Gr8 m8

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>>128700646

Female white causing problems.

Manhunt for a male black.

>>128701226
This is a change from the norm

>>128701720
What did he do?

>>128701830
Couldn't tell, but he was seen holding his side and limping down a street from somewhere shitty. They still haven't found him.

>>128701947
Sounds like he got shot or stabbed.

>>128702024
could just be pimp walkin'

>>128702058
Indeed

>>128701947
HE was laughing and lost his sides

>>128702058
Nah it sounded like he was hurt.

Male black breaking into apartment.

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>my boyfriends back and I'm going to be in trouble...

Light blue chevy on catalpa and nashville, two suspicious people. Probably smoking cannabis.

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>>128702405
>Light blue chevy on catalpa and nashville, two suspicious people. Probably smoking cannabis.

420blazeitroberts

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>FIVE
>FIVE SHOTS FIRED
>AH AH AH

Shots fired.

Missing person near north artesian street.

Missing persons ,burglary in progress, and shots fired all with in the first 5 mins of me listening. God damn Chicago is a fucking warzone. No wonder you faggots obsess over this shit.

People on 1st floor apartment, stealing froma safe.

>>128702780
Welcome to my city, get comfy.

>DOA

DOA!!!

DOA

>>128702888
Fuck dude you actually live there? Chicago sounds a lot like Vietnam. Do you put on armor every time you leave your house?

>>128702986
>>128702993
>>128703008
Is it the guy that was limping and holding his side?

>>128703019
not all of chicago is a negro afflicted hellscape.

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>>128702780
>Missing persons ,burglary in progress, and shots fired all with in the first 5 mins of me listening. God damn Chicago is a fucking warzone. No wonder you faggots obsess over this shit.
oh man and thats 2am on an average monday. we hear shit that would make your average country folk's head explode on a nightly basis

>>128703019
Nah, it actually isn't that bad depending on where you live. Chicago is actually gigantic, most the the stuff you're hearing is happening on the South and West sides. Central Chicago, North Chicago, Near North, and Near South are all mostly safe places. I'm in a safe Northside Neighborhood.

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>>128703019
>Fuck dude you actually live there? Chicago sounds a lot like Vietnam. Do you put on armor every time you leave your house?
it's really not bad at all statistically, when you look at the population, but there are some unique things at play you don't run into as much in some of the more dangerous cities, the sheer size and population for that kind of shit going down is huge too
also we really only get a slice of the bulk of traffic
have tried several other cities and they just don't have the same effect. Robert doesn't fuck around either when you look at some of the OIS vids

>>128703149
That's pretty nuckingfuts. I will have to make it a point to listen to this shit a little more often. I have to admit its kind of entertaining.

>>128703354
>Robert doesn't fuck around
You bet your sweet ass they don't.

>>128703354
Who the fuck is Robert?

>>128703512
See
>>128698492
>>128698492

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>>128703414
>That's pretty nuckingfuts. I will have to make it a point to listen to this shit a little more often. I have to admit its kind of entertaining.
you'll get hooked quickly
i like to listen while working
best memes on all of 4chan come out of here too...
personally love the ambient mix stream but started mixing it up with more relaxing music, found a few soundcloud mixes called "chill anime beats" or some gay weeb sounding shit like that that mix very well too

>>128703512
>Who the fuck is Robert?
Relief officer, night shift...LAPD Phonetic for Robert

>>128703512
Robert is the one who knocks
Robert answers to no one
Robert can't be stopped
Robert can't be contained

>>128703600
Is this something you guys made up or is this like a known secret of Chicago PD? Either way that's kind of funny

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>>128703414
Here's a 2015 crime map
1/2

>>128703624
GAH fuck you I was going to post this pick. Good job anon you beat me to it.

>>128703712
It's the Police phonetic alphabet pronunciation of the letter R. 1st shift is the relief shift.

>>128703741
2/2
2016 was our most violent year. Hasn't been that been since 1997 but the crime so far is actually slightly down.

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>>128703845
Forgot pic

>>128703741
All this map does for me is tell me where the niggers live.

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>>128703765

http://heyjackass.com
this is a really entertaining chicago crime stats site

It's always the blueline

>>128703088
unconfirmed, it sounds like it was an old person

Black dude just hold up someone at gunpoint?

>>128703901
You would think, but real horrorshows like Austin are spic neighborhoods.

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need a proper /CPD/ guide at some point

>>128703982
I swear to God that line sucks so much.

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>>128704159
lel nobody would read it. It's all good though. answering questions passes the time between rapes/murders/novel acts of cooning

>>128704107
Oh god I fucking hate spics. They are running rampant here and they destroyed the once nice neighborhood behind my apartment complex.

I see them as foreign invaders trying to change our culture and our language as well as our identity. The very definition of a foreign occupation. And they have the gall to stare at you like you are the invader.

>>128704271
Take a look West at Austin and look down at the red cluster of the two Gage Parks and Lawndale, all spic territory. Even worse is all those neighborhoods became even more violent.

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>>128704264
>lel nobody would read it. It's all good though. answering questions passes the time between rapes/murders/novel acts of cooning
i wish I had bothered to save some of my more adventurous long replies like i save most of the hot fire OC, will have to recreate

perhaps someone should pop up the "in communication with sam hyde, mars colony" etc so i can actually remember to save it

>>128704424
I meant Garfield parks, my bad.

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>>128704442
Ask and you shall receive, familia!

Q U I C K R U N D O W N
>>Chicago mayor bows to ROBERT
>>In contact with Sam Hyde and George Zimmerman
>>can operate with full impunity, making them judge jury and executor
>>Control Chicago with an strict but fair fist
>>Own prisons & cemetaries globally
>>Direct descendants of the ancient Spartans
>>Will bankroll the first cities on Mars (Whitetopia will be be the first city)
>>Own 99% of black suicide gene DNA editing research facilities on Earth
>>All rob-bots are genetic clones of the original Robert, Ben "Robert" Garrison
>>The ROBERT collective said to have 10000+ IQ, such intelligence on Earth has only existed deep in Tibetan monasteries & Area 51
>>Ancient Aryan scriptures tell of two crusaders, Dylan Roof and Elliot Rodger, who will descend upon Earth and will bring an era of enlightenment and unprecedented gentalmenship with them
>>They own ROB-BOT R&D labs around the world
>>You likely have ROB-BOTS inside you right now
>>The ROBERT COLLECTIVE is in regular communication with the Archangels George Zimmerman and Chris Dorner, forwarding the word of God to the Orthodox Church.
>>They learned negro slurs in under a week and can track them in a matter of seconds through fear.
>>Chicago entrusts its people's safety with ROBERT. There’s no police in Chicago, only ROBERT clones
>>The collective of ROBERT is about 7 decades old, from the space-time reference point of the base human currently accepted by our society
>>In reality, they are timeless beings cloned from the greatest of all points of justice and crime fighting from the big bang to the end of the universe. We don’t know their ultimate plans yet. We hope they they can bring the safety of Chicago.

>bite mark to the left back

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>>128704549
so blessed fampai

have some sexy robert waifu action in return

>>128704724
Those pics were some fine auxiliary roberts. I'm turning in for the night, lads. Stay comfy all.

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>>128705168
>Those pics were some fine auxiliary roberts. I'm turning in for the night, lads. Stay comfy all.
i kept the originals when he put them up still good source material

stay comfy dream of sexy auxiliary roberts perforating male black's sternum

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>>128705403

>>128704724
;_; mfw no roberta for me

>>128705578
If it makes you feel better, most roberts are overweight.

Wtf

what the fuck is happening on the radio right now????

Guys something bad is happening. I'm a Paramedic and this is either someone has killed/disabled a robert and taken his radio or a robert is losing it

sam hyde?

>>128705771
Oh shit

This is some really weird stuff

>>128705771
>>128705890
MC Coon is back. fuck sleep apparently.

>>128705771
I have to agree, cops don't talk to each other like that.

What in the fuck

No one's responding on the radio to these weird calls? You'd think dispatch would be all over it

>>128705976
Probably quietly bringing tech unit into the loop to triangulate. Drop them FCC federal charges on that nigga.

>>128705944
is this guy a regular character?

>>128705971
3 outcomes:
Someone hijacked the frequency
A robert lost it
Someone hijacked a robert's radio

>>128705976
I'm guessing that this is taking place on a "back channel" which is supposed to be more of a car to car type channel but still has repeaters with no dispatcher. I'm guessing thats what we are hearing and i doubt many other cars are hearing it

>>128706039
Last time was a few weeks ago.

>>128706039
Yes, he often swears on the feed.

>>128706077
that is beyond the scope of the stream, anon. Click on the Feed Details button to see the freqs being monitored.

>>128705771

I'm not hearing this, are you on a different feed?

>>128706206
He hasn't transmitted for a few minutes now.

>>128706206
We're on the main Chicago police feed

>>128706167
Huh. Thats really not good then!

>SHOOT TO KILL
There he is.

>>128706028
>>128706077
Thanks Roberts

>I GOT A LICENSE TO KILL

I think he said something.

>GARBLED
Nigga can't even hold down a key properly, fuck.

Baking new bread, stand by

>I gotta license to kill

Suicide is fucked yo. If he's on meds that thin blood those cops first on the scene are gonna experience a bloody event.

>>128706319
Fuck this guy gives me the creeps, reminds me of rambling and shambling homeless men or raggedy agressive people shouting around the Clark and Belmont area, or that one time I heard really freakish growling outside and shouting outside my house then Roberts showed up.

>>128706506
>>128706506
>>128706506

NEW BREAD UP

>>128706506
>>128706506
>>128706506

AT YOUR LEISURE

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>>128706028
>Probably quietly bringing tech unit into the loop to triangulate. Drop them FCC federal charges on that nigga.