/CPD/ CHICAGO PD SCANNER THREAD - MURDER MURDER MONDAY EDITION

>tfw your life is a total fuckup but at least you're not black, and you have /CPD/

File: twindalecooper.jpg (97KB, 1440x1080px) Image search: [Google]

97KB, 1440x1080px

I got a damn good cup of coffee and I'm here for the long haul.
How is everyone?
How do you take your coffee?

>>128547072
Being white male is obviously GOAT.

>>128547072
Kek.

>Shots fired, Oakley & Foster

>dude thinks he's having a heart attack, requesting EMS
>3 shots fired at oakley and foster

Bumping, man having a heart attack on Irving Park.

File: Breakdown - CPD.jpg (2MB, 4320x2760px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 4320x2760px

/CPD/ is life

What was that?

>>128547245
Whole milk only 2:1 ratio.

>AH AH AH :3
Robertina is having fun!

>>128547245
I take my coffee expensive, toxic, and in cans.

>>128547293
There are more heart attacks at the first of the month.

The niggers get their disability checks and smoke too much crack and have heart attacks

>>128547245
>How do you take your coffee?
Like I like my women...


ground up

>>128547245
Also, super dark roast. As close to literal tar as I can get it. Black Rifle Company does me good in this stead.

File: Mad-Max-high-fatality-road.png (490KB, 853x480px) Image search: [Google]

490KB, 853x480px

Personally i prefer tea
though in morning i have a single cup of coffee
always real cream and sugar

and I have to post this
copied it last night
awesome art, one of best yet

>>128547245
Minimal sugar, splash of half and half.

>>128547473
i thought you were gonna say black and strong

>>128547515
sorry wrong pic

File: 1496025306399.gif (207KB, 1000x750px) Image search: [Google]

207KB, 1000x750px

>>128547245
Doing alright.
>How do you take your coffee?
Just some cream. Cut sugar out a few years ago.

>>128547245
Blaque, like all the males they're chasing

Did robert just report a bloody kid crying?

>Guy put something in microwave to make it explode. Guy is crying

Kek, exploding microwave.

how comfy are we Robert?

just arrived

The Bridgeport is strong with that dispatch.

>>128548176
Cats abound, good pipe tobacco, and some exquisite ginger beer.

>>128548176
first dane ive seen in here. good to see ya m8. my gran pappy is from copenhagan. do you know anyone named Jens?

>>128548176
my life is in JUST mode but still a solid 4/10 comfy. Listening to coons rip Chicago apart is always pleasant
how are you dude

>>128548075
>he doesn't have any bloody crying kids in his city after 12am

lmao, Where the hell you from buddy

>>128548422
LOL Northcenter and I are at the freaking WAR ZONE, pal

File: cpd goodnight adam.jpg (95KB, 360x270px) Image search: [Google]

95KB, 360x270px

>>128548305
now you've got me curious about the ginger beer.
what kind is it?

I have a great business idea


Buy a retired armored truck (like the ones brinks and guarda use) and install more bullet proof glass around it with more benches in back and charge people 100 bucks to drive around during real robert hours on the weekend in the ghetto.

You could probably make 1000 bucks a night

>>128548512
Don't oversell it pal, Northcenter is almost totally safe.

>Woman almost got carjacked; then she got shot at when she drove off

File: male black punching bag.jpg (289KB, 1455x975px) Image search: [Google]

289KB, 1455x975px

>the male black would punch this

>>128548414
Tell me about it. I might have to resort to hooking at this rate. Why won't my phone ring?

>>128548717
I'd punch my dick into her

>>128548606
I got it mixed up for tonight-some of Trader Joe's brand for a milder taste, Reed's Extra for some bold ginger, and Bundaberg for a different flavor to contrast the latter two.

File: cops_29.jpg (84KB, 750x422px) Image search: [Google]

84KB, 750x422px

4 male blacks in 4 door
plate# A186377
fired shots at complainants black grand prix

SHOTS FIRED
DRIVE BY

File: CPD Keys.jpg (100KB, 302x399px) Image search: [Google]

100KB, 302x399px

>>128548659
I like this idea. Time to get on a military surprise site or find a place that sells them used

>ten shell casing of different calibers
>guy shot in the abdomen and leg
>serious condition

>>128548659
Provided the city grants you the permit, which it probably won't.

File: Screen Shot 2017-06-05 at 12.28.34 AM.jpg (38KB, 399x303px) Image search: [Google]

38KB, 399x303px

>4 male blacks
>chrysler sebring
faggots

>>128548974
B O Y S T O W N
O
Y
S
T
O
W
N

>>128548959
It's called being an independent contractor.

You'll learn about it in college

feedback is harsh right now

>>128548305
nice, haven't had a ginger beer in forever

>>128548328
I've been lurking for a bit, but it's just too comfy not to post. I know a lot of people called Jens

>>128548414
shiieet hope things work out Robert, I'm pretty good but groggy

>neighbor's dog wont shut the fuck up
>caller tried to hang himself yesterday

>attempted suicide. Guy's friend texted him he was going to kill himself. He tried to before

File: shyv.jpg (378KB, 1000x750px) Image search: [Google]

378KB, 1000x750px

>>128547245
>http://youarelistening.to/chicago
I'm playing nasus and listening to life in the big city with a warm vanilla coffee

>his friend called him and said he was going to kill himself
>tried to hang himself yesterday

>Face tattoos
Oh, that nigga's guilty.

im not high on acid but wat tf. anyone else hear that

>>128549171
A constant barking dog can push a man to his limits

just buy a normal short school bus
apply to city for license to due travellers tours of city
once you've got licence, then armor it up a bit
hire an armed gaurd

its been done before in new york, and the guy was making a killing til the SJW's found out
times ran an article and his regular business tanked so he got out of it
http://www.cnn.com/2013/05/23/travel/new-york-bronx-ghetto-tours/index.html

File: dindus gonna dindu.jpg (229KB, 1000x667px) Image search: [Google]

229KB, 1000x667px

>>128549251
>>Face tattoos
>Oh, that nigga's guilty.

No way, He dindu nuffin. He a good boy that was getting his life on track,

File: 379.jpg (69KB, 290x387px) Image search: [Google]

69KB, 290x387px

>>128549448
Please use archive
>http://cnn com/2013/05/23/travel/new-york-bronx-ghetto-tours/index.html
https://archive.is/53LUg

>small child wakes up every time the parents do it
>10 shots fired

did they just say garage on fire

>>128549114
cool m8. thats my uncle's middle name, my grandpas brother's name, lead singer of mushuggah's name, my middle name and my son's name. its a good strong danish name. that is all

>>128547245
>Male black keeps Robert up
>Coffee black keeps me up

>>128549448
It'll happen here something aweful.

File: 750674406-return_of_stinkmeaner450.jpg (48KB, 720x480px) Image search: [Google]

48KB, 720x480px

>>128549324
>>128549456

File: _62554019_rexfeatures_464055d.jpg (40KB, 624x403px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 624x403px

>>128549504
ten
ten shots fired
AH AH AH AH AH

>>128548328
billionth seppo ive seen in here. good to see ya cunt. my grandpa is from austin. do you know anyone named Cleetus?

File: Pussy Ass Nigga.jpg (44KB, 500x289px) Image search: [Google]

44KB, 500x289px

>>128549651
God, I miss that show

>>128549448
Armoring is very expensive. Even to just level IIIA, You want at least protection up to HPR.

That would cost literally over a hundred thousand to do a school bus in just protection up to .45auto (IIIA).

Cheaper to buy a armored truck from a guard service.

Plus they are already equipped with gun ports, siren, lights, emergency locks, ect.

Another suicidal person.

>>128549826
I do too

I would just take a cheap ass car and wire it all Google Maps like with hidden 360 cams, and then drive THAT through

>>128549826
WHAAATDIDJEWSAYYY NIGGUHHH??!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6HOFRGOzknQ

>>128549853
Either everyone is trying to get out of work tomorrow or living in Chicago genuinely makes people prefer death over living.

>>128549804
ya, your old relative from austin? texas or chicago ya aussie fag

>>128549853
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gO7uemm6Yo

>>128550073
That's Monday for ya

>>128549984
A nigger will steal it somehow.

>>128550073
It's a big city so suicide calls will happen regardless.

>>128549622
it's a good choice, the people I know called Jens have always been based

I only got here 20 years ago though

>3 male blacks robbing the gas station

>hiding in the back
>3 male blacks are robbing the store
GO ROBERT!

>>128550081
take a look at the thread title, then kick yourself ya seppo cunt.

>>128548659
pretty sure they already do this in la

its called gang tourism and it already had some nig nog activists complaining that it dehumanizes these po chilluns in the gangs

>>128549832
ok
but basic plan stays the same
get the business licence BEFORE you start doing the tours
dont tell them what kind of tours ... there just "sightseeing tours"
be deliberately vague
I would get state and local licence as well, in case one cancelled on you
make sure all your clients sign an iron clad liability waiver, could be just as important as your iron clad truck too

>male black harassing passengers, all decked out in colorful clothes

>>128550516
Good call

Male black harassing people at the California blue line. Fuck me, I hate the California blue line.

File: tim-hortons-takeout-cup.jpg (94KB, 726x931px) Image search: [Google]

94KB, 726x931px

I got my Tim's Double Double.
Playing some Rainbow Six Siege.

>>128550474
>commit enough crime worthy of tourism
>WE ARE HUMANZ N SHIEEET, DIS DISRESPECTFUL
>rob and rape the same day


Niggers.

>>128550762
Sounds like safari

>>128550926
I think I would feel safer in a real safari, The moneys wouldn't have guns and be high on crack

>>128551028
moneys

Monkeys*

>>128550446
lol. possibly the best /adv/ ive received in awhile. just learned seppo too. i visit nightly faggot

>>128550749

>sugar in covfefe

shame

Bridgeport dispatch again.

>>128551028
>The monkeys wouldn't have guns
Oh yeah watch this.

The moneys wouldn't have guns

>>128551249
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhxqIITtTtU

Male hispanics trying to steal a sign.

>male hispanic in white tank top shooting, then fled to a maroon SUV

File: 1495942781206.gif (212KB, 720x480px) Image search: [Google]

212KB, 720x480px

>>128548881
thanks - we don't have Trader Joe's up here, but I'll keep an eye out for those other two.

>male white hitting on female white


I see nothing wrong here

>anonymous caller says someone in the basement is beating a dog

File: General Halleck When the Dab Hit.png (53KB, 245x254px) Image search: [Google]

53KB, 245x254px

>Light blue jacket.... and nothing else
Lewd!

>>128550749
>drinking swill
faggot

>>128551449
Robert please.....

>>128551470
Robert, get the gun.

>>128551470
I hope they beat that guys ass. I like dogs

>>128551493
kek. been waiting for that

>roscos chicken
>customer refuses to leave

>>128551370
I know Canada has a ripoff of Trader Joe's known as Pirate Joe's but I forgot where it was.

>>128551449
White males aren't allowed to hit on white females anymore

Sebring is still at large

>three year old with burn marks to the neck and shoulder

>>128551664
I think they are going to let these coons kill their own reputations before gunning them down.

>Robert needs photos taken of a 3y/o
>Burn marks on cheek and neck
Oh, go ahead and kill whoever did that shit.

>female caller wants someone removed, caller is intoxicated
>"4 security guards are trying to hold him down"

File: You're a big guy.jpg (76KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

76KB, 1280x720px

>male white 6'5 fighting people.
He's a big guy.

At given times, it's pretty much The Shield / The Wire

haha they're trying to take a drunk guy back to his house and the drunk guy doesn't know where he lives

it's cool that cops do that in chicago, in my town they're just rude fucking cunts

>>128552177
CPD can be assholes, but they do also give a fuck.

>>128552177
>>128552322
I depends on the cop. You never know who you come across

>GBRRRSRRRZZZRGZRGRZGZRGRZGZRGZRGZRGZRGZRGZGZRGZRGZRZRZGHZDBFBRGTR
What did Robert mean by this?

I hear an open key

Robert needs to check his keys.

File: RSBN AUDIO.jpg (147KB, 1277x717px) Image search: [Google]

147KB, 1277x717px

>>128552450
I hear [ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL]

>check your damn keys, man.

File: CPD - TSUN TSUN DISPATCH AWOO 1.png (358KB, 1200x900px) Image search: [Google]

358KB, 1200x900px

HOLY SHIT THIS OPEN KEY IS GOING TO GO ON FOREVER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

we /space/ now

>ROBERT, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AND CHECK YOUR KEYS!

can we do 20 minutes boys

Is it male black jamming Robert's communications?

>>128552846
Male black got a killstreak

File: SASSY.jpg (206KB, 1666x1271px) Image search: [Google]

206KB, 1666x1271px

Wow, this is impressive. I've never heard it entirely whited out before.

>>128552984
He did this weekend, kek.

File: 1495943304788.gif (162KB, 720x383px) Image search: [Google]

162KB, 720x383px

>>128551996
for you

File: CPD - CHECK YO KEYS PEPE 1.gif (1MB, 2200x1238px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 2200x1238px

TEN MINUTES!!!

Check your keys Robert!!

>>128547502
Fuck you aaron

This is some good white noise to drift off to sleep to

File: CPD - BLUES BROS KEYS 1.gif (176KB, 564x423px) Image search: [Google]

176KB, 564x423px

BRBRBRBRBRLLBRBRBLRBRBLRBLBLLLLBRBLLBRBLBLBLRBLRBRLBRBBRBBBRRRRRR KEEEEEEEYS KEYS! CHECK YOUR GOD DAMN KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYSSSSS!

Someone call CPD and have them check Roberts Keys!!

>>128551302
>ape with AK-47
I know guns but I can't tell which one is the ape.

Guys, maybe there's just no more crime. Maybe they finally fixed Chicago

>>128553523
My favorite movie

File: Screen Shot 2017-01-23 at 2.26.23 PM.jpg (90KB, 601x583px) Image search: [Google]

90KB, 601x583px

well fuck, say SOMEthing

>>128553576
Robert please....

>>128553591
Just checked, no reports of a nuke going off

>>128553591
chalk it up boys, partys over

i don't believe it

>>128553591
>Maybe they finally fixed Chicago
It just went DEAD on my end. Anyone else's?

>>128553750
Someone's key is open

>>128549832
Fuck off bigger tits

>buy wielder
>buy 3/4 steel
>buy old deuce and a half
>play legos with above shit
>wreck those mugs
>?????
>profit

>>128553821
no shit, sherlock. I've been here the whole time. But there's no more clutter, its just a persistent white hiss now.

>>128553887
What? You asked if anyone else had nothing but static.

Meanwhile, using Robert's momentary informational blindness, male black is running his dastardly schemes.

>>128553821
why is dispatch not telling them to check their keys?

File: CPD - KEYS 1.gif (472KB, 1246x763px) Image search: [Google]

472KB, 1246x763px

>>128554026
No, I asked if it went entirely DEAD for anyone else. Dead air.

I'm starting to wonder if the radio this stream is playing from is fucked. Also, CONGRATS EVERYONE! TWENTY MINUTES!!

Who the fuck is keying down like a retard?

>>128554099
this is like hot potato -- if someone's trigger is stuck on, no one else can get through

>>128554099
DISPATCH IS KILL

File: asdf.jpg (77KB, 739x739px) Image search: [Google]

77KB, 739x739px

ok fellas, we've heard a shit ton of weird shit on here, has anyone heard a whiteout this long. is anyone else worried about robert? despite the fact that he is a de facto hero

File: chimpageddoon.jpg (1MB, 1838x1027px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1838x1027px

Male black has the golden op to take the city right now, but he doesn't know about the keys

File: Announcer_Salesman.png (742KB, 650x691px) Image search: [Google]

742KB, 650x691px

Could the male black have stolen a radio and caused a hot mike on purpose? Will our hero Robert find out in time? Is it finally curtains for the city of Chiraq?!

>>128554174
>one Robert is jerking off in his car and accidentally pressing his walkie talkie into the seat, fucking up the entire CPD communication channel and the entertainment for several NEETS on a chinese boxing forum

I love how shitty their system is, that one man can bring it down at any time

>>128554253
this happened like 2 weeks ago and someone posted a different stream that worked

I am now firmly convinced the stream is temporarily kill.

Guys, Districts 16 and 17 are still up, that's Albany Park and Jefferson Park, haunts to male hispanic. Here's a link if anyone is interested while we wait.
http://www.broadcastify.com/listen/feed/16702/web

Surely they would have some kind of fallback frequency to use when something like this happens?

Shouldn't they have some other freq for situations like this though?

>>128554565
Jinx

>>128554460
It's not the stream, It's the radio.

I have the frequencies in my scanner and even they are white noise

>>128554473
dead also

>>128554665
Fuck you're right, they were up a second ago.

>>128554715
Can confirm.

WTF is going on?

G-guys, did chicago just disappear off the map?

File: CPD - A E S T H E T I C 18.gif (2MB, 2128x2128px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 2128x2128px

>>128554632
Well, that does me no good. I think I'm going to call it a night. You all stay comfy, wherever you are. I'll see you all tomorrow, unless Chicago was actually the site of 2nd Impact and we're al gonna die.

WHAT HAPPEN
ONLY QUIET

Now we know what that Secret Service squad was for from LSD few hours ago

>>128554796
ha, i welcome that, but i can't see or smell anything out the window

>>128554790
Dindus developed ECM warfare.

WHO'S THE MASTER RACE NOW HUH?

thing is this scanner channel we're listening to jumps through all the zones. It doesn't jump to another zone til a transmission is finished. that's why we got this. we could all just tune in to a specific zone and listen to that. west side is usually the hottest. I'll find out what zone in a sec

well well

BLEEP BLOOP

Seems they are alive, after all!

Robert is back online folks

>>128554954
Aliens confirmed.

>>128554914
I already tried, it seems like all the lines are down.

I guess robert is still down

>>128554977
all i hear is white noise from broadcastify.com/listen/feed/763/web

File: lights_on_nobody.jpg (394KB, 3072x2048px) Image search: [Google]

394KB, 3072x2048px

>>128554632
dispatch center neutralized by Male Black

File: 1467859901335-pol.jpg (417KB, 1047x1600px) Image search: [Google]

417KB, 1047x1600px

zone 12 is working. it covers 25th district which is a war zone. tune in Roberts

>>128555171
I heard a dispatcher talking to a robert, then it went back to white noise

>Check Heyjackass in the morning
>Chicago has it's own St. Bartholomew's Day now

>>128555227

http://www.broadcastify.com/listen/feed/653

oh, got some beeps

File: Chicago_violent_crime_map.png (245KB, 990x882px) Image search: [Google]

245KB, 990x882px

>>128555227
>>128555318
thanks Robert

>>128555318
ALL ROBERTS ARE GO HERE

>>128555227
>Austin and Belmont Cragin
Warzone indeed.

>>128555425
How can Hyde Park be so chill compared to the neighbors?

>>128554565
What you listen to is not a single frequency. It's sort of an aggregate of several frequencies. The receivers scans them until if senses a carrier and then it stops until the carrier goes away.
If somebody accidentally keeps pressing his key, the scanner locks to that channel and we can't hear anything else. That's why you should always check your keys. Hope this explains it.

>>128555606
University of Chicago.

>>128555425
That shit's outdated, Engelwood, West Engelwood, Riverdale, and Austin should all be red or damn near red.

>>128555662
Ah I see.

I think I would like Edison Park the most.

File: 2017_city_map_060117.png (43KB, 628x946px) Image search: [Google]

43KB, 628x946px

>>128555737

heyjackass keeps their stuff updated

>>128555847
Much better.

>lunch Central and Wellington

Roberts getting some Golden Nugget pancakes

The feed is dead for me.

File: Untitled.png (3MB, 1525x801px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 1525x801px

>>128555800
Oo, very cool area indeed!

>>128556246
That place is pretty safe.

>guy almost hit a patrol guy car. Black chevy impala

>>128556523
>>128556326
If I visit Chicago, is there a safari tour to see dindus hunting each other?

original broadcastify link seems to be working

>>128556822
nvm im retarded

>>128556657

heard the county morgue has a "open house" every once in awhile where people can come in and see all the unclaimed bodies. aside from that you could rent a car and listen to the scanner like nightcrawler

>>128556657
If you don't mind the possibility of catching your own bullets, yeah. The only remotely safe ways to do it is to either stay with someone from one of those bad neighborhoods, or drive through.

What's a Robert

>>128556657
Yes, an armored convoy, complete with SMG-toting security, first aid, a bar fridge, and rpg-proof windows through which to watch the carnage that unfolds. It's called motorcade 1.

File: IMG_6954.jpg (138KB, 399x714px) Image search: [Google]

138KB, 399x714px

>>128547245
With a scoop of chai

>>128557305
A slang name for chicago police officers

>>128557305
>ROBERT is the hero Chiraq needs but doesn't deserve;
>His nemesis is MALE BLACK,
>By night they battle for the fate of the city.
>The mayor answers to Robert
>Robert can't be stopped
>Robert can't be contained

Last nights officer involved shooting til Robert get back

https://youtu.be/KgUyZ5lFYT8

Last nights officer involved shooting til Robert get back

https://youtu.be/KgUyZ5lFYT8

just me or has it been static for a while
?

>>128558710
been on and off static for about 45 minutes now

Male stealing from dumpster.

>>128558710
Static- this thing on??

>>128558870
albanians in chicago confirmed

>>128559164
They've always been here, one with nice tits sometimes brings me souvenirs for the countries she visits with her parents; nice girl.

>>128559535
*from.

Here's an account from my favorite Chicago based news outlet about life in one of the most dangerous and nigger-filled neighborhoods, Engelwood.

https://www.google.com/amp/wgntv.com/2013/08/25/its-englewood-12-hours-in-one-of-chicagos-most-dangerous-neighborhoods/amp/

Robert made a growl

check those keys Roberts!

listening to englewood scanner because the main scanner is down for some reason

https://www.broadcastify.com/listen/feed/19608/web

>>128561292
Most of the shit you hear will be strictly gang related.

Shit, someone broke into and Engelwood house.

>>128546910
chicago is the ideal city. blacks removing blacks.