/CPD/ MOTHERFUCKER!! Edition

Thanks, Robert

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>>128382881
Good evening Roberts. Good luck and God speed tonight!

>>128382881
>BUT WHO THE FUCK IS ROBERT???
ROBERT is the hero Chiraq needs but doesn't deserve; His nemesis is MALE BLACK, a notorious thief, murderer, and general rapscallion. By night they battle for the fate of the city.

FOR YOUR LISTENING PLEASURE

>>CPD Dispatch Stream:
http://www.broadcastify.com/listen/feed/763/web

>>Same feed with ambient music:
http://youarelistening.to/chicago

>>For Ambiance:
https://soundcloud.com/sithdemonic/sets/newwaveretro

DANK AUSSIEROBERT OC:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMLxgBxSiyU

#### #### #### #### #### #### #### ####

BACK THE BLUE
>>Get Behind the Vest donation drive:
http://www.getbehindthevest.org/
>Chicago cops aren't even issued fucking armor by their shithole city.

>>The Chicago Police Department Memorial Fund (ALSO GET SOME SWEET SWEET MERCH):
http://www.cpdmemorial.org/

#### #### #### #### #### #### #### ####

CHICAGO'S K/D RATIO:
>>Shootings Scoreboards:
http://heyjackass.com
http://www.dnainfo.com/chicago/
http://chitownmugshots.com/
http://crime.chicagotribune.com/chicago/shootings/
http://crime.chicagotribune.com/chicago/homicides/
http://homicides.suntimes.com/

#### #### #### #### #### #### #### ####

>>Chicago Racial Demographics:
http://www.radicalcartography.net/index.html?chicagodots

>>Chiraq Gangland Map:
https://www.wbez.org/shows/wbez-news/in-chicago-gangs-abound-but-where-are-they/0d956c2e-171a-483a-8666-f5228d98812d

>>Police Codes:
http://www.bearcat1.com/radioil.htm

>>Chicago Police Dept. Directives:
http://directives.chicagopolice.org/directives/

>>Related twitter
https://twitter.com/spotnewsonig
https://twitter.com/hashtag/shitoemcsays

PASTEBIN: https://pastebin.com/pD418Eky

PREVIOUS THREAD: >>128352292

>>128382881
http://youarelistening.to/chicago
>scanner stream with ambient music for max comfy

>amberlamps number 81

>teens are fighting on a lawn
>loud party

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80 degrees and cloudy, so perfect weather for Male Black. Did they get their Gibs Money on Friday?

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incredibly sassy dispatch

18th for drag racers

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my pic got used

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>>128383482
I love that pic. Skyline R32 with projectors hnngggg

>>128383542
I remember that pic.

>order a body snatcher

>fireworks
>June 4th

Whats the occasion?

>>128383652
>you need to wait until the E Tech is done before you order body removal

>64 year old female unresponsive at the bar
party hard

>>128383726
Nigs don't know the diff between June and July?

http://chicago.suntimes.com/news/police-shoot-offender-following-shots-fired-in-washington-park/amp/

>They were working as part of CPD’s new summer mobile patrol unit that was rolled out last week, police spokesman Anthony Guglielmi said

Looks like Roberts got backup

Evening, Roberts.

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>>128383732
I hope Robert brought enough forms. It'd be a shame if he didn't after all this.

I live in Chicago
I should kill some spics
It takes the cops so long to get anywhere
How do we not have a serial killer currently active here

>>128383784
under rated post

>man sitting on the bench with his socks and shoes off

absolute
fucking
madman

>man sitting outside an abandon house with his shoes and socks off

>>128383542
Don't have many cpd pics so I chose yours.
>>128383861
Probs because no one gives a big enough of a fuck.

>>128383891
Oh I thought they said house.

>>128383907
clearly a homicidal maniac

>>128383726
Welcome to Chicago
Mexican start this shit around the 5th of May and continue to September
Repeat again around January

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Keeeeeeeekkkk
https://www.gunsamerica.com/blog/chicago-juvenile-ends-dead-trying-rob-concealed-carrier/?utm_source=email&utm_medium=20170602_FridayDigest_124g&utm_campaign=/blog/chicago-juvenile-ends-dead-trying-rob-concealed-carrier/

>>128383891
now that's living it up

>>128383891
some men just want to watch the world burn

>>128384048
shiiieeeeet

>>128384048
You'll never hear that on Chicago news.

>>128384161
Of course not. The Narrative must be preserved.

>>128384161
Dindu 12 year old Nobel Rocket Scientist Nominated for Sainthood was Shot Today by NRA Supporter

>>128384306
>the fact that I could see this on cnn

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>>128384306
>Nobel Rocket Scientist
ahahahahaha!

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>>128384306
yep
pic related

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>>128384306
ANd then there's this faggot in the comments section...

>>128384522
>>128384581
SSSSHHHEEEEEIIIIIITT

>>128384522
>>128384581
Hive mind

>>128384522
>>128384581
kek

>>128384522
great minds think alike
but I couldn't solve the fucking captcha

>>128384701
>>128384713
Hive

>>128384761
>He doesn't CALLE CALLE
Step yo game up, son.

Blue jacket and shorts following girls.

>following two girls with a can of SOMETHING

....following two girls into an alley....

>>128384761
these captchas are beyond cancer

>unhappy customer

That's a gruff Robert

>>128384902
Lol. Is this code for corpse
Please be

>>128384898
48 oz. of RAPE ICE. Dat shit be refreshing!

>>128385055
digits confirms

>>128384902
I get the picture one only, I miss the days of Operation Renigger. I got pretty good at figuring out which was the real word, and which one I could use nigger for.

Drug dealer named Chico

> Chico's selling drugs again
Goddamn it Chico

Chico

>50 people having street party
>some sellers
>main seller is named "Chico"

Get OUT OF THERE CHICO!!!! You been made, dawg.

>male black
>31
>6'3 220
>deceased

>more shitheads throwing gang signs

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>>128385137
bruh...

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>>128385303
>>128385243
>>128385251
>>128385235

>>128383309
>General rapscallion.

I was wondering where you went, muthafugga.

Good to see ya.

>>128385331
>75 min for removal
time to kick back Robert

>>128385255
now we're talking

75 minutes for corpse removal

This city

1,914 listeners

>>128385519
wtf do you do sitting next to a nigger corpse for 75 minutes?

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>>128384522
>>128384581
i couldn't resist

>>128384666
>i-its the democrats

WEW

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>>128385467
Ay. I've been here, just quiet. Letting you all carry the ball. I don't need to make every thread to keep the comfy moving.

>>128385638
Practice darts

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Good evening boys
Just checking in
Has male black been subdued?
Will Robert be able to take the night off?
Can Unicorns really fart pixie dust?

>>128385638
Laugh

>>128385638
shitpost in /cpd/

>>128385638
look at facebutt and twitter on your phone and smoke? have your partner make a snack run?

>>128385638
Hit him again.

I hear dindudes

15-24 Robert is surrounded by coons.

all those chimp noises while Robert tries to talk

>>128385706
>Has male black been subdued?
The battle for the fate of Chicago rages on.

man that one Robert is way down in a hole
can barely hear him

Stay strong,Robert. Backup's on the way

> 250 lbs
Gonna take a couple Roberts to haul that nigger off

>4147 S. Archer
>2 beaners beaning the crap out of each other
>One is a beanlet

Uh oh, Linda is dead... 250lbs... Did the mean streets take her?

>gang disruption ; Drake and Courtland

>>128386398
the diabetus did

Another truck needing help turning around. That happened yesterday, right?

>>128386398
>Did the mean streets take her?
More like Wing Street™ sounds like

>>128386650
Western is a shitty street for traffic.

>party in the rear

It's go time. I feel it.

>huge glock type guns

>supposed to have the huge Glawk type guns
whut?

How does Robert stay cool with so many Male Blacks wreaking havoc everywhere?

2 male blacks trying to break down a door.

>>128386830
>>128386813
Hi Points, kek.

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>>128386850
become numb to it all?

>>128386830
It means the people who already can't hit shit won't be able to hit shit with a Glock..

....okay, Robert, I'll take the noise complaint, you take those two gangbangers walking south on Rogers with the big glocks

>Robert needs a car
>[Loud Sheboon chimping noises]

>need a car outside the station.....90 on way outside,!

>Robert needs a car
>right outside the station
>sheeboons screeching in the background
wtf

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>>128386283

>wat

>>128387077
is 90 a supervisor/sgt?

>>128386930
You'd have to, right? I wonder how many Roberts make it to retirement.

>large disorderly crowd refusing to leave

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>>128387007
they isn't using they sights when dey shoot

Mr. Lovett got drunk and forgot his security code again, goddamn it!

>>128387260
dispatcher

> Male black teens chasing pedestrians with bats
kek

>threatened people with bats
oh boi did i hear that right?

>group of male black teens hitting pedestrians with baseball bats.

>ROBERT
>PLS

lel

The Warriors?

>>128387631
yea, I heard it too

>caller is locked in his bathroom, his wife has a knife and is trying to attack him

>he's locked in his bathroom; his wife is trying to attack him

>>128387411
Factor in an additional 9 pound trigger pull... because you know they pull that shit instead of squeezing.

>CAN YOU DIG IT?

Jesus. That sounded like a full blown chimpout.

>>128387260

yep, multiples of 10 are sergeants. 99 I think is leutenan and 00 would be a commander, Robert

>wife with a knife

>>128387697
Hope Robert is safe

>>128387631
The Baseball Furies

>>128387697
somebody was playing a clip from an old school dindu gang movie over the air

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bTUrWYv2vtU

>>128387687
Block with NY #2 trigger is 11.5-12 pound pull

My carry Glocks are modified to about 2.5 pound pull

And I don't have homeboy night sights

>>128387810
I think that was the robert requesting additional cars awhile ago.

>>128387411
>Side shooting capabilities
Then I noticed the location of the night sight.

Kek

>man laying on the ground by the carwash

We ready!

Downer at the carwash

>a "downer" by the carwash...a guy laying down...

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>>128387941
>12 pound trigger pull

>>128387962
male black really means business

>>128387941

are night sights mall ninja?

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>>128387971

>out front in his Superman shirt

white t-shirt , checkered boxers

>The Warriors
>Carwash

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>>128388088
something about those digits

>>128388188
>using the gun the way it was designed to be used
feels good, man

>>128387941
Black people modify their cars, not their guns.

>>128388128
No good reason. Liberal bureaucracy dictating rules over that which they've no experience as always. They believe it's a safety feature, as the gun is tougher to fire. In all actuality, the gun just becomes harder to shoot accurately so more bystanders get tagged.

>People throwing items from the platform on Damon

Damen blue line, people throwing shit. The blue line really sucks.

>>128388128
NYC wants a heavy trigger pull

also replaces the polygonal barrels with traditional lan and groove barrel

I prefer a lighter trigger pull, but Im training not to put my finger on the trigger till my sights are on target

>>128388144
If it isn't crimson trace it's a meme.

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someones been shot
ems enroute

They're bringing the wagon!?!?

>>128388128
Because NYPD switched from revolvers and nobody in their armory understands how guns work, or should work.

>>128388490
Male Blacks going for a roughride.

>>128382881
The best daily thread.

>>128388345
>Liberal bureaucracy dictating rules over that which they've no experience as always.
Amen

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1 Robert's got the wagon tonight!

I love this dispatch

I need a spainish enterprator

>
>Assault in progress at the gas station

>8 shots fired at Shakespeare and Kimble
>male beating a female in front of the Walgreens

>8 gunshots

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Shots fired

Walgreeeeens

Shots fired by shakespeare and kimball.

Uppity bitch gettin' knocked the fuck out in fronta Walgreens, fool.

> got a call of 2 black males fighting in front of a caravan.....

caravan.....must have been called in by a Brit

>>128388932
Bitch wouldn't gibs no moneys fo dem newports.

Walgreens gang fight

First time in one of these threads, Robert. What's the craziest shit y'all have heard come over the radio?

>whatever

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>>128389108

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male hispanic
55 MacKenzie
gang fight
pistol involved
Robert is at the scene

Yeah but who told you you had to notify the ET for a burglary?

>>128383861
Fuck, there are like 7 or 8 suspected serial murderers in cook county alone.

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>>128389108

Arguing whether an Evidence Team is needed when a burglary obviously hasn't happened

>>128389108
Couple weeks back there were a pair of sheboons fighting each other with hammers.

Believe me though, the crazy shit has yet to come. 4th of July week is pure unrestricted chaos in the city.

Pool of blood

>theres a pool of blood

>pool of blood

Male...16, pool of blood

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>>128386930
>>128386930
Thanks for the idea, mane.

>shots fired

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More shots fired
A couple more

>>128389480
Kek

>>128389108
black tranny got beat down last night
perps, one white guy, casually walked into a store after they did it

>>128389108
>What's the craziest shit y'all have heard come over the radio?
https://youtu.be/Tr_VbIg5LrU

>>128389338
never hear about it

Another reason I love these threads is that there's no shitposting *jinx*

>>128389480
very nice

>>128389480
Fuck dude thats awesome
I wish i could learn to do that

>>128389108
entire southside on fire
body hanging from crane
werewolf

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VOTA INDEPENDIENTE! Don't get distracted by the same political parties' shills! ¡VOTA INDEPENDIENTE!

>128382598
>>128382598
>128382598
>>128382598
>128382598
>>128382598
>128382598

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>>128389480
fuck, this edit robert? nice

>cones knocked down
>block compromised

>knocked down a lot of my cones

>>128389480
excellent

>>128389583
eh shit, not sure I even have the heart to listen to this one.

Sounds like Robert is in trouble.

>>128389681
Fuck outta here,chico

>>128389681
sorry, all mexicans here vote democrat. Good luck

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>>128389693
Yes sir. Haha.

>>128389480
btw i am stealing that to post in future cpd threads

Definitely one of the best yet

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>>128389480
beautiful

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>>128389583
oh shit

>>128389480

kek

>>128389782
nooo, chico is dealing at that block party

>>128389681
Chico we don't want your drugs

>>128389791
I beg to differ, Trump had my vote this election.

Robert had to use the phaser.

anyone ever watch a video where the police are about to beat someones ass or a there is about to be a shootout and you hear a beeping on their radio.

How come in ALL the police videos that beeping only starts right before shit is about to go done?


Serious question, What is that? An alarm a cop activates?

>Vic crashed, there is a weapon in the vic
Aw sheeiit.

>>128389845
Steal it. It all belongs to /cpd/ mane. That's why I never tried putting a name on any of it.

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>>128389821
I got you to make Chiraqalypse Now for me, I got you to do the Wargames pic, now it's Tiresome meme, and I think you did this image for me

Evening, Roberts.

London needs to join a /cpd/ thread sometime. Might calm them down a bit.

>over 500 people

500 people?!

Did they say 500 people?

>>128390233
Fuck, that was all for you?? You've got some memeworthy ideas, Robert. Happy to oblige.

Man down at Marshfield and Altgeld.

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>>128389986
>Set phasers on "Kill"

>>128389108
Maybe not the absolute craziest, but my personal favorite was when tow male blacks were pursued on foot and decided to take a swim in the lake to escape. If I remember correctly, they pretty much did a half-assed rescue attempt, basically letting them die in the frigid water, and hauled their bodies out an hour or two later. In my city of ~1mil, this would make the news, but this shit is so commonplace in Chiraq it barely warrants the blink of an eye.

Oh, one of my other favorites was when a black Robert apprehended male black for shoplifting two bottles of lotion from a CVS. The dispatcher was like "wait... all he took was two bottles of lotion?" and black Robert replies "yes ma'am, it's cold outside, he was getting ashy". Maybe you had to be there, but it was fucking hilarious.

>>128390295
>>128390271
>>128390314
second time in like 4 days lol

>>128390271
>>128390295
>>128390314
Nogs can't count and tend to grossly exaggerate things

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>OVER FIVE HUNDRED COONS
I don't think they have enough cage cars for this welfare check party.

>>128390243
its like 6am in Bongland during RRH
>>128390271
>>128390295
>>128390314
I heard this too and thought i was tripping

>>128390341
I hope I can keep you going Robert

>>128390438
this.

It's probably more like 70 people

>males fighting with sticks and stuff

>>128389947
I thank you for the support but our mayor is not helping the situation. His new welfare system for illegals will gut us financially.

>husband on pcp

>>128390386
>Nogs jump in water on cold day
>know Nogs can't swim
>I aint going in that water, lets wait for the boat
lol

>>128390438
reminds me of when scouts would include women, children and elderly as part of an army count

good point Robert

Climbed in the window high on PCP? The night is warming up...

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>>128390527
committing 500 people's worth of the crime, kek.

>High on PCP
>Just climbed into the callers window and is refusing to leave

>>128390521
Meme on, mane. I'm sure you'll feed me something new sometime.

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Guy high on PCP just climbed through my window and refuses to leave!
he doesnt live here!

Is this shit for real????

>Benjamin states his wife was beating him up

>>128389108
The nigger trying to kill the chihuahua last night.
Spoiler: he failed.

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>>128390849
Latrine be one huge bitch.

>>128390750
kekd hard at that one

>>128390759
if someone asks if you are edit Robert, that will be me

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Gunshots at whasington? and augusta

on evergreen, pcp nigger on the run

>Face tattoo is the driver
I think he's probably guilty of something, kek.

>>128390833
is he trying to force chock that nigger?

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Hey guys! been at work all week, ready for a night off and some Chiraq Ambiance!

>>128390583
Seriously, fuck illegals. They make people like me (several generations in the US) and newer proper migrants look bad with their crime. Now democrats pander to us for votes so they can look cool and "diverse."

>>128390985
I'm picking up all kinds of new nicknames in these threads. PicRobert calls me Glitchcain (stay a while, and listen!) Edit Robert works fine too.

>Robbed by two male blacks

>>128391019
>pcp
I notice the first few days of the month are full of PCP calls.......I wonder why that is?

>>128391054
Welcome back, Robert. Pull up a chair, shit is getting comfy.

>>128391054
Sup Robert

>>128389108
POSEIDONZ who jumped in the river and got rescued by CPD divers

Male blacks side chick putting banana peels in his gas tank

Indoor Nig BBQs

Freddy Kruger male black with laser pointers

Male blacks stealing entire phone poles and the wires

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>>128391052
I think Robert just wants a grande mocha!

>150 ppl in the middle of the street
>I think they have a DJ too...

>"...Great."

They might hold up the L trains.

>>128391054
it's popping off already, i hope you brought a drink

>>128391061
Don't mean to get too political in this thread but that's the thing the left doesn't realize. Legal Latinos don't want to compete with illegals anymore than whites do.

>>128391186
when does your welfare pay out
In canada its ussually last wednesday of month

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>>128391255
Just finished watching UFC.
Any highlights yet tonight?

>7-10 shots heard

SHOTS

>>128391054
Evening, robert. Get some r&r during rrh.

>>128391407
I think some states it's the first weekday of the month

>>128391054
Sup Robert>>128391431
Hmmm, I got here as this second thread was made, there was a 16 male in a pool of blood, one thing that stuck out to me so far

>>128391376
We really don't.

>>128391509
Error: Too many individual events, must identify by magnitude.

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WATCH YOUR FUCKING KEEYS

>>128391431
Been a good bit going on tonight actually

>>128391431
going to watch the replay in a few hours, was it a good one?

Shots fired, Sacramento and Kedzie.

>>128391623
no awoo!

shots fired and a suicide attempt. Already alot of action

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Sacramento and Fulton
& shots fired
seven shots fired
drug sales

>>128391723
No? Damn. I'm kinda proud of that one too. Was a pain in the ass hunting down the Chicago 911 dispatcher patch she's wearing.

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7805? Marquette
1 shot fired

>>128391557
L8rs

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ONE
ONE SHOT FIRED
AH AH AH AH AH

>>128391623
saved
thanks

>>128391859
.......I saved it.....

>>128391882
>>128391946
Suicide. Someone just punched their own ticket out of Chiraq

>>128391623
I like it, /cpd/ awoos welcome I say

>>128391947
>>128392010
ahahahahahaha nice.

>All cops to the middle of the block. Lets start clearing them out.
RALLY TO ME! FORM RANKS!

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>>128391431
Just need wound description and car jacking to get Male Blackout on this card.

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>>128391562
>16
sheeit

>>128391676
Sorry if i spoiled the result for you.
Best card of the year so far, the main event was hype as fuck.

>all the coppers to the middle of the block and push back the crowds

....b, b, but I'd rather clear the crowd from the safety of my car, Robert.

>no liquor license
Kek

>nigger in a nissan altima
that will be a bit hard to narrow down

>>128392160
I don't have this card! Saved.

>CRIM. SEXUAL ASSAULT
EVERYBODY'S GETTING RAPED!

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>>128392140
>All cops to the middle of the block. Lets start clearing them out.
GAME ON!

>>128389480

Hahahhahahahahahahhaahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahha

one of the dispatchers is hispanic and sounds kinda cute when she says a spanish name
i didnt come here to feel

damn that's the third time i heard reports of fireworks tonight

>>128392178
no worries i haven't been opening the webms, but i'm excited now

"Took a Louisville slugger to both headlights"

Chick beating a dudes vehicle with a baseball bat!

>>128392359
>i didnt come here to feel
It's ok, Robert. There's several dispatch-fu fanclubs in these threads.
>Sassy is mine. I claimed her first.

Car getting hit at N. Central park by a woman with a baseball bat.

>appreciation for Robert

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>>128392497

>>128392543
>Thank you for all your hard work :333
FUCKING DISPATCH A CUTE! A CUTE!!

>>128392531
>Car getting hit at N. Central park by a woman with a baseball bat.
Boyfriend cheated on her

>>128392624
How do you know?

I can't believe we hit 300 already.

>>128392573
>Tiny or Smaller
Muda da

>>128392700
I've seen this happen before.

>>128392476
>fireworks
oh is that what that was?
I'm on 18th street with my window open and i heard 2 sets in the last hour

>>128392700
why the fuck else would a bitch beat a car with a baseball bat

>...a lot of animals
>gunshot wound to left chest

>he got shot in the left chest
>it went through
>critical condition

GSW TO THE ... WAS A THROUGH AND THROUGH

NIGGA BE GOIN TO THE HOSPITAL

>>128392841
>>128392845
so sucking chest wound?

Gun shot to left chest would probably be critical.
Pretty sure the heart is over there.

ROBERT ATUALLY HAS A SUSPECT IN CUSTODY FOR THAT GSW!! HOLY FUCK!

This might be the most effective police outreach program of all time. Everybody here leaves with a greater appreciation of the Men in Blue.

>>128392729
RRH is my favorite thing about /pol/.

New thread time

>>128392700
u best be baking, niqqa

>>128392949
It's all I come here for anymore.

>>128392910
the heart and a lung is there, though you can live for a while without a lung lobe or two. A punctured lung is still a huge issue

we need a new bread sometime soon

are they still arguing about that burglary evidence tech?

>>128392799
prelude to the 4th i suppose
stay safe Robert

>>128392981
>>128393076
Giving OP till page 9, then I'll bake. Stay comfy.

So when they say left, is the standard to say left from the perspective of the person reporting, or from the perspective of the victim? I'd assume from the perspective of the victim, but that seems more likely to cause mistakes for those reporting the side.

>>128382881
NEW THREAD >>128393159
NEW THREAD >>128393159
NEW THREAD >>128393159

>>128393032
It's up

>>128393211
Same as if they said his left arm.

>we also have a large crowd of 100+
>a few shots fired on south green

>>128393318
Ah, true.