/CPD/ CHICAGO PD SCANNER THREAD - WHERE ALL MY ROBERTS AT EDITION

Cat-In-Lap guy from last night.

Aww yeah, here we go again, Roberts.

>Weed
>Lights out
>Headphones
>Ambient music
>Cat in lap

11/10 comfy

>a spic screaming in an alley

>>127778084

Very nice, I was hoping to catch this thread all day, but since it didn't pop up I just made it, taking a quick smoke break and I'll brb

>>127778205

Hell yeah man, we got allllll fuckin' night to hear the tales

>Red hoodie

Highlight of today:
>He tied his kids with a t-shirt and now he's beating them up

Can some older Roberts describe these threads from all the big riots/happenings the last little while? I'm still new to all this and missed everything. What were the threads like?

OP here, I'm a newer Robert so hopefully some of the others can fill you in. I did live off 17th and Ashland in Pilsen during those times, but I mainly stayed inside and only left for beer and work.

>>127778637
>all the big riots/happenings the last little while
which?
every night this weekend has been insane

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Bumping, also did anyone ever hear back from 25 Robert? His keys switched off and he stopped responding last night.

>>127778637
http://www.nbcchicago.com/news/local/
Read the right column.

>>127779373
More to the Mike Brown case, or any big news events from the past few years (verdicts are announced, etc) how bad did the scanner blow up?

>>127779693

Honestly the worst of it was when the Cubs won the world series lol

>male hispanic on his bike in the alley in his 40's, he's drinking beer

>>127779940
That actually makes the most sense lol good call.

>Yelling and threatening women as they passed by.

Is r9k here now too?

>>127780228

>notorious Robot gang

"OooOOOoh okay."

Sassy startin'

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>>127777569
Robert reporting. Keys checked.

WTH these Adams been doing?

>white male with a knife

>>127781102

it was a cute sassy lol, man all the Roberts must be at work right now

>>127781276

fucking awesome pic, kekd

Nigga better go hide in AutoZone
>>127781385
thanks m8

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>>127777569

Have a bump.

>>127782284

Much appreciated, trying to keep the thread alive until the real Robert Hours

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>Ricky Martin
>Has grand child with her
>Thinks she's mad at him
>a fucking reddit post over dispatch

Any more Nail Gun Crew sightings?

>>127782487

I don't think so but I only listened until about 1:30am EST.

>>127782487

Not as of today

3 shots fired from a minivan. Today has been a non-stop string of batteries.

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Ah, my favourite time of day: Comfy Time.

Oh Lawd
>gunshot hit her balcony window

>>127782962

>minivan on the run, southbound on California

>>127782962

Didn't you hear? This past Memorial Day weekend was a huge success for crime in the city:

http://www.nbcchicago.com/news/local/violence-shootings-chicago-memorial-day-weekend-2017-425106934.html

hot damn
minvan and a Merc in a running gun battle

Things are heating up, been a little boring the last few hours

>shot in the thigh, refusing to give names or information

damn son

>>127783942
>dey dindu nuffin

>>127783537
They're deploying some advanced chimpout prediction technology.

>spic shot in the thigh
>gang members flashin' signs and getting shot at

>>127777569

In the ~10 minutes I've been listening, it sounds like a total free-for-all going on up there in Chicago.

Capone would have loved this if it weren't for the mulignan ruining everything.

>>127784091

>huge success for crime

Like the guy who robbed a store twice in 2 weeks and got away with it. I'm pretty sure they didn't catch him and the neckbeard he was with last night lol

Also anyone remember the nig on the roof last night?

>>127784405

as the night goes on it's just going to get more and more wild

>homeless man face down in the alley

>>127785390

Probably going to need the meat wagon.

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bump

>>127785508
A few so far.

Sassy dispatch
Knife wielding male white
Shots fired (free spaaaaace)
Homeless guy lying on the ground

Gettin' there

>>127785508

Remove At Walgreens on that and replace it with Jewel Osco and it would be perfect haha

Chuck E. Cheese needs to be added

>>127785694
and a spic shot in the thight

>>127786126
I must have missed that one :(

>>127786268

male hispanic shot in the thigh, refuses to talk to police

>shooter is a female hispanic

R A R E

>hit by vehicle
>no ems needed
damn champion

>>127786536
ye, walk dat shit off Tyrone. You good.

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>racial slurs and death threats

Here we go.

Male white with DIY Flail assaulting people

Male swinging a rope with a ball attached to it

>>127786927
tether-ball that game was fun in elementary school

>possibly pulling into the parking lot at JJ Peppers

>>127787069
I think he's a cleric trying to gain levels in Chicago.

How's Adam's evening been?

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>>127787231
kek

>>127787310

Very productive a couple hours ago

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>pulling into JJ Peppers on Diversey

>there's some bushes on fire

>bushes on fiyah

Tfw when yiur at home high as shit listening to. Real robert hour

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>>127787231
new character someone shop this into a cpd meme

>>127787614

Real Robert hours coming up soon, not yet though :D

What is male black up too tonight

Jijaboo spear chuckers

>>127787826
yes, family photo please

>>127787499
https://www.yelp.com/biz/jj-peppers-chicago-4

So good reviews in there.

>Went in for bottled water, juice and snacks...
Felt like I walked out feeling like I might have caught an std
Seriously the place is a hole in the wall..Gross floors...limited items..overpriced
Didn't like the fact I felt ike I was being watched the entire time while I was trying to figure out what to buy...and above all it is shady
Guy at the counter who enjoys watching people here's a tip: Grab a broom every once in a while and cleanup...put windex to use!

Just settling in to bed, Adams. Gotta get some /cpd/ comfy pajama time in before I hit the hay. Wish I could stay awake for RRH during weeknights, but Adam'll have to do.

>his mother's van was stolen
>male black and male hispanic getting ready to fight next to a gray minivan

Related?

What do you guys do while listening other than browse the thread? I have trouble reading other threads and paying attention to the radio at the same time, and Im having a hard time thinking of any visual entertainment to go with this.

>>127788515

looool

Robert bless these didgts

>kid screams "HELP!"
>nig instinct is to yell "what u need?"

Margaret Sanger did nothing wrong

>>127788687
i play minecraft with fap breaks

>>127788515
sounds like a coontown place

>>127788687
reading some 419 lad safaris

>we need all hands on deck tonight

>>127788687

I usually use the tracker with ambient music and just chill and drink a couple beers

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I'm so glad Sassy is working tonight

minivans are the rage this evening

>>127789458

Loved the roving gunbattle between a minivan and a merc earlier lol

>>127789090
>https://forum.419eater.com/

What am I reading?

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>>127783537
not nearly bad as last year though according to the article you linked

>>127789679

Just started looking and I'm not sure yet lol, people who troll scammers?

>>127789879

yeah they backed the wounded number down from 2016 lol

>>127788687

Grind out Hearthstone games

asking for dhs numbers

>>127789679
>>127790132
my personal fav is 'Hell Safari'

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>>127789879
I guess it somewhat depends on what you consider a greater crime wounding who will likely shoot again or killing someone who will likely shoot again.

>>127790152
and given they deployed 1300 more cops was the cost worth it?

I just tuned in, lads. Did I miss anything good?

a fucking white male

>>127790718

roving gun battles between a minivan and mercedes, hispanic male getting shot in the leg, white male flailing people with a homemade flail, amongst other things

>>127790718
based cpd cleric

>being threatened with a bat by the roommate

>>127790883
That sounds good, shame that I missed it. I hope no nail guns were involved this time.

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>domestic...threatened with a baseball bat

>>127791299

Nailgun crew out of commission today

Living in Chicago suburbs level of comfy right now

>female refused to give him his money

Pimpin' aint easy

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Good evening, my dudes. Comfy levels are rising. we are 69 minutes from RRH and counting.

what does real robert hours mean?

>>127792346
Third shift

>>127778084

Do you smoke weed around your cat?

long winded as fuck

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>Sassy in charge of 17th District tonight

top comfy m8s

>>127792001

I can't wait for those RRH man, welcome in!

>refuses to leave store

like pottery

>person with a knife at Walgreens...intoxicated male white

>>127784405
Capone would never stand for this. He was all for lawlessness and violence but only if it favored him. The only gang would be his gang.

>yeah.... really?
sassy bein sassy

>burning tires in the school parking lot

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A comfy evening to all. What will Robert get into tonight?

>>127793494

Just waitin for those Real Robert Hours, stay tuned lol

>>127785945

You have no idea how many nigs refuse to leave Walgreens.

The victim has been struck in the head with a pot

she got POTTED

Is it decided on what the Real Robert Hours are in chicago time?

>>127793685
A little blackberry kush and I'll be tuned in just fine

>struck in the head with a pot.

Oww damn

>>127793952
10pm CST

>>127793952
10 PM Chicago time is the beginning of RRH

Does anyone know the conclusion to Robert chasing shooter in the alley? Also, ER brawl? I fell asleep right around then

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>>127792777
>>127792799
Meme magic ITT tonight. I hope this bodes well.

>>127792753
Cheers, m8.

>people fighting out front with guns
>and they're stabbing people

>have guns and are stabbing people

Anyone catch the rest of that?

>>127794694
Sounded like a pretty standard chimpout.

>sticks
>bats
>poles
>guns
>stabbing

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guns and stabbing people what are they using bayonets ?

>>127794642
>>127794694
when is rahm going to get these weebs off the damn streets??

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>>127794957
pic dammit

>>127794887
I would not exclude that

>all chopped up whatever that means

body snatcher needed

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Male black at Popeyes causing trouble

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>SIX
>SIX SHOTS FIRED
>AH AH AH

Two cars shooting at each other

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>>127795358

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>>127795473
the best kind of call.
>AH AH AH

Teenager came home with fancy clothes and won't say where he got the money.

I suspected SWAG

Woo hoo...another vehicular gunbattle

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>>127795050

>>127795501
top kek

913 Robert checking them keys and...dammit, a man with a knife!

>>127794469

Holy shit, thanks for editing that pic, I thought it would be a pretty awesome one for /CPD/

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>>127795538

>>127795541
I can't wait for Twisted Metal: Chicago Edition to come out

>>127795008

>tfw Squall is part of La Raza

>>127795991
she must be like 6bills holey fuck

>irate male black in a neck brace

>>127795963
better story than the game, right?

>>127795770
Thanks for feeding the beast, mane.

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>>127795991
I love that show.

>>127796085
she is on the show "My 600lb Life"

>>127796124

>better story than the game

I think /CPD/ has the best story of all time and yes also

>>127796306
never seen it but when she dies the body snatchers will need a fucking crane

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>>127795991
I noticed the fryer on the bed the first time...this time, I just noticed THE FUCKING BAG OF FLOUR HOLY FUCK THAT BITCH IS HAND-BREADING AND FRYING HER CHIKINS IN FUCKING BED AAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHH
>pic related

If anyone hears 25 (two five) Robert today let me know, he went missing last night, someone was sent to find him and afaik nobody has heard anything yet.

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>>127796617
MHMMMMMMMMM

Reel robert hour

>>127796806

I've been listening to the scanner since about 5 pm my time (4 pm Chicago time) no word on 25 Robert

>>127796359
The absolute best. No writers could concoct half the shit the real residents of these cities come up with.

>>127796826
Plz stop. This is awful. I think my insurance premiums are rising just watching this.

>>127797031
well with obummer care you are correct yes they are

>>127796826
Be honest, would you guys dick her?

>>127797193
absolutely not

>>127797193
What do you think the flour is for?
Her boyfriend rolls her around in it and aims for the wet spot.

>>127797193
how? smack her thigh and ride the wave in?

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>>127797193
these bois might cook her

>>127797193
You mean in the vagina? Could you even? I'm not talking about preferences here, just mechanical capabilities. I think the closest you could get realistically is to kinda... wag your dick around in one of the available folds?

Was someone just crying on the radio?

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>>127797031
>No writers could concoct half the shit the real residents of these cities come up with.
have a (you) and some OC

>>127797193
Yes! I am so alone!!!!!!

Being a neo nazi means my dating options are limited and no black woman will fuck me! White women are all stuck up. Holy shit I am so alone.

I have devolved to seeking traps on craigslist.

Alt right pill is the worst pill.

>first name Jamal

>>127777569
>People find nigger shenigans in my city entertaining

Please send in the national guard.

>>127797638

Take the /cpd/ pill and hop the train to China Town or South Side and bang some whores

>first name jamal
>30 seconds later
>first name lamal
>obligatory roberts ensue

>person shot

>>127797638
you appear to be in the wrong neighborhood, friend
all passive aggressive and general non-comfy posts belong elsewhere

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Shit ...not the Walgreens again

>>127797732
You don't deserve the National Guard.
You get Robert.

>>127797638

Take the nigger pill and hang yourself from a tree.

>>127798017
So, when did these threads start? First one I remember was for the world series.

>on the RED LINE exposing herself

>>127797638
https://mobile.twitter.com/AceLoliBot/status/869520264274485248

Good evening, Roberts.

Did they find missing Robert last night?

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>>127798153
>So, when did these threads start?
Well, first there was Nigs @ Nite, that lasted a while, /cpd/ grew out of those last year, and the 4th of july mass-coonery event kind of cemented the deal. Earlier this year, a canuck and an aussie brought it up again in /ptg/, and we started it back up. Here we are now, several months later, and the city is not disappointing us, the memes flow nightly. Welcome back.

>>127798254

not as far as I know, I've been on the lookout since about 4pm chicago time.


>>127798201
Red Line can be a pretty tough spot at night, only train that runs 24/7. I used to have to take it alot heading home from work. I'd usually just sit in a corner and drink.

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chicago fag here. might want to consider adding this to the sticky for next time:

http://www.cwbchicago.com/

that stands for crime in wrigleyville and boystown.

This is a website on crime in the lakeview area It posts stories on lincoln park and the gay and wealthy area. Lakeview is an area on the north side of the city, and includes wrigleyville. There are a lot of dispatches made to the area when I listen to the scanner, so you may be able to read about major incidents. I think the main police department for the area is Addison, by wrigley field.

the background is that crime has been seeping into the wealthier areas of the city.

77 year olds yelling at each other

i put up a meme i got from candid today and someone gave me shit about it being a reddit meme. what is that about and how do you tell a reddit meme from another?

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>>127798618
>http://www.cwbchicago.com/
Heh, yep. I like this already. I'll add it to my .txt boilerplate file. I should omit the pastebin, it's out of date, and I can't modify it.

>>127798618
>Report: Man Raped By Two Strangers In Lakeview Stairwell
>The man refused medical services at the scene, but he later took himself to Illinois Masonic Medical Center for treatment, according to records.

I believe we heard about this one.

>>127798618
It's more complicated. For instance, near Belmont and Clark crime has been going up because of new shelters being put up which attracts niggers.

Better bus service to the west side is causing more mobile nigger shenigans.

General chimping is also spreading.

>>127798492
Blue Line runs 24/7 as well.

>drunk man trying to fight players at a softball tournament
The players outnumber him and they have bats, but this guy doesn't give a fuck

>>127798774

How do they know the age that specifically?

>Lincoln Park Gas Station Burglar Was Carrying 68 Packs Of Smokes, Cops Say

Tobacco is a helluva drug.

>>127799092
The absolute madman

>>127799039

Yep, not as dodgy though unless you head far enough west

>>127798857
memes.com probably has an FAQ

>>127799159
It's not a real incident. It's a masonic code for something. Maybe.

>>127798908
Yea, I remember that one

>>127799344
>digits
it must be true

>>127799444
dubstrips. Wew lad.

>>127799444

wew lad, calm down

>>127777569
Bahaha I love this thread.

>>127798943
>Mobile nigger shenanigans

>>127799541

It's a very comfy place

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>>127799761
>>127799541
It's the best.

>she's a known cutter

>caller heard what sounded like an explosion

>explosions

>Explosion
IT'S HAPPENING

>>127800106
>with flashes of light

no kiddin'

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suicide threats, explosions, driving gun battles, I love this place so much.

>>127799270
At least it smells less of piss than the rest.

>>127800184
Blinding light?

>using racial slurs

Mah nigger!

need a body snatcher

>>127800106

Hopefully some inside BBQing gone right

>>127799962

Niice

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>>127800286
play snatcher for MSX

>CHECK YOUR KEYS!

Late night coonery

Anything decent tonight? had to wait for AMD's presentation to finish.

>>127800667
>Late night
It's just 2215 in Chicongo.

>>127800756

roving gun battles between cars, white male beating people with a DIY flail dubbed cpd Cleric, gunshots all around, explosion just now, other stuff

>>127800911
aka "Tuesday Night in Chicago"

>>127798861
Oh shit was this that poor Fuck that got raped by multiple male blacks and refused EMS?

>I did not ask you that...

>>127798908
Butthole status: Double Blacked

What happended to candy bar bandits from last night

Dispatch is being a biiiiitch tonight, damn

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>>127800249
Cmon Robert hit yo jam on an open key

>>127801372
Yes, I believe it was.

>a minor accident
>was a minor accident
>then a major accident happened

>>127801372
That guy was raped by three dindus. Think he was robbed too.

>>127801523
Proceeds got spent on chicken and weed within 15 minutes, guaranteed

>wearing all black armed with AK-47s

It's habbening!

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>army guns and ak-47s in all black

>>127801710
Nothing like chicken and herb after nutting in a man's anus. Male Black is fucked up.

>A L L B L A CK

>A K - 4 7 S

SHEEEEIIIIITTTT

Nuggas just watched heat

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>>127801954

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>>127800911
>beating people with a DIY flail

we /Runescape/ now
>noob couldnt afford an abyssal whip

>loud music at the church

Praise Jesus!

I've been following these threads for a while. There is just one question I have - why and how does anyone even justify living in Chicago?

It seems like only fans of Russian roulette would enjoy it.

>>127802700

There are very nice areas and lots of stuff to do.

>>127802700
because its one of the most highly segregated cities in the US. Ask the locals when they hop in. They'll all tell you to avoid X streets, or Y neighborhoods, or to only take the train no further south than Z stop. It's intriguing.

>>127802700

There's a lot of universities there but other than that they're just champagne liberal white urbanite scum.

>>127802700
>how does anyone even justify living in X
How is that bomb coming along, Abu Muhammad?

>60yr old man hurling slurs

Bus of peace

>>127802700
Deutsches volk, please.

Like the area around Sud-Bahnhof in Frankfurt is any different.

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>racial slurs ,spitting at people

Is this the same guy from two hours ago?

>>127803194
Gramps getting RAYCISS

Rape wagon inbound!

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>>127802700
>why and how does anyone even justify living in Chicago?
Because they're from the area, you stupid fucking pseudo-jihadist. It's a large space and crime is mostly confined to a handful of neighborhoods, it's really not too bad.

>3 male blacks kidnapped two girls, one managed to escape
Rape wagon!

>16 year old female black kidnapped by 3 male blacks in a van
>escaped
>other female black still in the van

>>127803639
F

>12 or 13 cases I gotta count 'em all

Spray and pray!

>>127803639
well, that's still enough holes, unfortunately. RIP Shaqueesha.

so since we are in the thread does this make us roberts ??

>>127804134

We are all Robert here. Unless you're rooting for Male Black...

>>127792464
sometimes I get my cat high

>>127804195
No! I am a Robert i am new to these threads and am wary of them so i tread lightly here i come in peace though !

>>127804280

Does it act any differently?

>>127804334
Prove it. Shoot someone. I shouldn't have to tell you who.

>>127804405
>what is cat-nip

We need new comfy bread.

>>127804334

Lol it's the comfiest spot on /pol/ welcome aboard.

>>127804405
I'd say so. He seems to chill out.

>>127804644
Already ready man. will drop it @ 300.

>>127804456
i have to shoot male black ?

>>127804644

If someone else wants to make the bread, I only made this one because it wasn't up. It was my first /cpd/ bread

>>127804334
SImmah down nah, Robert, and check you keys!

>>127804701
You're the real hero. Me and the waifu get comfy to be his every night before bed

>>127804678
i like this stream i am sad i didnt come to this sooner

>>127804822
wtf?!

>>127804778
Someone is drinking and arguing right now. It's gotta be either the West/South side. You know what to do.

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>>127804785
You did fine, lad. Thanks for starting us off!

>>127804825
Quite an interesting family activity you've started. Say hi to the missus for me!

>This OST fucking hell!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEk2N9uHTT0

I JUST HEARD 25 ROBERT HES GOOD! WOOOoooo

>>127804970
g-gulps yes sir o> *shakes a little bit*

>10-4...

Any news on Porsche guy

>verbal and physical abuse of a one year and a two year old
>and a five year old and a six year old
>an a ten year old

>>127805270
they sound mean ;/

>>127805133
kek be praised!

>>127805133

He was just missing for a whole day?

>Mentally ill
>Drunk
>Struck someone
>Trying to stab (?)

Typical Robert hours.

>>127805440
lunch

>>127805097

Thanks! I was waiting around for a couple hours and just said fuck it. Had to scroll through my history to find an old thread for a copy/paste. Saved it to a .txt

>stabbing people with a bag of hypodermic needles

>>127805815
They get inventive.

>>127805815
fucking what

>>127805754
I normally don't get home until 8+ in the evening, CST. Its nice seeing someone else thought to get a thread up first. I appreciate it a lot.

>>127805925
>>127805925
>>127805925
>>127805925
>>127805925

NU BREAD

>>127805925
>>127805925
>>127805925
>>127805925
>>127805925

HOT

>Need a midnight car at the crime scene over here..."

>dark 4 door westbound fired those shots...."

How many black on black crimes tonight pol?