>BUT WHO THE FUCK IS ROBERT??
ROBERT is the hero Chiraq needs but doesn't deserve; His nemesis is MALE BLACK, a notorious thief, murderer, and general rapscallion. By night they battle for the fate of the city.
>the march toward the inevitable backlog
FOR YOUR LISTENING PLEASURE
>>CPD Dispatch Stream:
http://www.broadcastify.com/listen/feed/763/web
>>Same feed with ambient music:
http://youarelistening.to/chicago
>>For Ambiance:
https://soundcloud.com/sithdemonic/sets/newwaveretro
DANK AUSSIEROBERT OC:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMLxgBxSiyU [Embed]
#### #### #### #### #### #### #### ####
BACK THE BLUE
>>Get Behind the Vest donation drive:
http://www.getbehindthevest.org/
>Chicago cops aren't even issued fucking armor by their shithole city.
>>The Chicago Police Department Memorial Fund (ALSO GET SOME SWEET SWEET MERCH):
http://www.cpdmemorial.org/
#### #### #### #### #### #### #### ####
CHICAGO'S K/D RATIO:
>>Shootings Scoreboards:
http://heyjackass.com
http://www.dnainfo.com/chicago/
http://chitownmugshots.com/
http://crime.chicagotribune.com/chicago/shootings/
http://crime.chicagotribune.com/chicago/homicides/
http://homicides.suntimes.com/
#### #### #### #### #### #### #### ####
>>Chicago Racial Demographics:
http://www.radicalcartography.net/index.html?chicagodots
>>Chiraq Gangland Map:
https://www.wbez.org/shows/wbez-news/in-chicago-gangs-abound-but-where-are-they/0d956c2e-171a-483a-8666-f5228d98812d
>>Police Codes:
http://www.bearcat1.com/radioil.htm
>>Chicago Police Dept. Directives:
http://directives.chicagopolice.org/directives/
>>Related twitter
https://twitter.com/spotnewsonig
https://twitter.com/hashtag/shitoemcsays
PASTEBIN: https://pastebin.com/pD418Eky
PREVIOUS THREAD: >>127378154
Anything good happend tonight?
Bumping with meme magic.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrRNj4tP4Sc
start the new thread off right with a shooting nice
>landlord keeps money in basement
yeah. that's a good idea to let these lowlifes know that
>Landlord keeps money in the basement
>Two men breaking in
>they say land lord keeps money in the basement
sounds like a nigger rumor and someone decided to check it out
Good evening Robert
>good night
square!
Comfy af
>>127400390
Shots fired
Multiples chases
Couple of body snatcher calls
The usual chimping
>>127400679
You think Robert gets to fuck the dispatch ladies?
>>127400421
ROLLIN IN MUH SIX-FOUR
>BWA BWA BWA
evening fellow roberts
>computer won't work
>car needs jumper cables
Robert's having a hard time tonight.
>>127400887
>>127400975
Somebody pick up an alternator for rob and bring a 3/8ths socket
>robert needs jumper cables
oh I hope it's not for a dead battery
>>127400789
>body snatcher
Just looked up what that was. What do you gain from digging up dead bodies?
>>127400908
lol yeah i wish i would find a shot when they where coonning out in that cor doing a drive by
still need a meme smith to make that red pill meme
Sorry he new bread took a bit longer Lads & Lasses. CAPTCHA bombed and I had to reload everything again.
>five male fighting in the street
>>127401148
"body snatcher" is what the Chicago cops call the contractors who come and collect dead bodies
>>127401125
Call Mike Pence
>>127401302
Oh, I'm retarded
>>127401479
But he needs to find the body removal forms first..
>>127401479
No worries get /comfy/
>>127401265
>CAPTCHA bombed
FUUUUCK! last night when captcha shit the bed ! I lost it.
>>127401075
Nah, just boost him and send the car back to the barn for maintenance.
>>127401647
>FUUUUCK! last night when captcha shit the bed ! I lost it.
Bro. I was fucking NOT comfy. I was anti-comfy. Hiroshimoot needs to sort his webchans out. I had to go lay down.
5 shots fired.
>FIVE
>FIVE SHOTS FIRED
>AH AH AH
>shots fired in an ally
>sending Robert
>FIVE SHOTS
>FIVE SHOTS FIRED
>AH AH AH
what were those noises
>>127402111
>what were those noises
can you be more specific? there are lots of noises. some is just the static of shitty radios. some is background noise when someone keys up their mic. and some of it is people playing fuck around on the radio. for those who were not on earlier, Blinded By the Light was playing again.
>>127402036
OH NO NOT OUR ALLIES
>suspicious vehicle
>two arabs inside
>Robert copy, 1052
Oh shit she needs a sergeant
Seems like a slow night so far... still too early, roberts?
>>127402476
yeah, wait until midnight
>3 homeless males kicked out of ally
>one OD'ing
lol, let them enjoy their ally
>>127402384
Any vehicle with arabs in it is suspicious.
>>127402468
Usually means a complaint about the servicing of the caller's issue. Sergeants get shit on from both directions.
>>127402613
>Usually means a complaint about the servicing of the caller's issue
>I toll him I wanted mys neighbor arrested and he won't do it!"
>whatchu mean you won't either?"
>>127402577
>>127402322
>>127402036
IT'S SPELLED "ALLEY" YOU FUCKING FUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>127402819
grammer nazi alert
WHITE MALE
SAVE THE WHITE MALE
SHOOT ALL GANG MEMBERS ON SIGHT
White boy about to get BLACKED
>sexually aggressive
Male White better GTFO of there
"several gang members are about to beat the white male on the corner"
did i hear that right??? uh oh
>becoming sexually aggressive
S E X U A L L Y
A G G R E S S I V E
>>127402941
>Several men are about to beat white man
SAVE HIM, ROBERT!
>elderly residents complaining about loud music
>3 hispanics fighting outside casa pueblo, nothing further
>3 Male hispanics fighting in front of Casa Pueblo
Fucking typical
>hispanics are fighting in the street outside of Casa Pueblo
God Bless America
>>127403169
>casa pueblo,
good food?
was slavery bad for blacks. I think so but what do you think
>female screaming for help
>disregard that's our arrestee making that noise
>>127403169
>>127403178
>>127403179
>something sexual
square!
>>127403256
slavery was bad because it brought nogs to merika
>>127403256
good for current generations
bad for older generations who were actually slaves
>>127403260
>get arrested by the po-po
>start screaming for halp
makes perfect sense
>male has been shot in the street
HE SHAHT HE LAYIN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET
Genuine question:
When the obama library comes to chicago and a riot happens, will blacks leave it alone? I mean obama is their hero but lets be honest, a riot in chicago is gonna happen at some point.
>shot, laying in the middle of the street
Happy Memorial Day weekend to that Robert
dont those elderly party poopers realize as soon as robert breaks up the party male black will go back to rapin' and robbin'
>>127403440
those shooting stats are getting pushed way up this weekend
>>127403515
Do you actually think they can read the sign saying "Obama Library", much less the books inside? It'll be burned just as quick as anything else
>>127403515
I bet they put in Hawaii because that's where he was allegedly born
>>127403515
>The shop that no rioter wanted to loot... because it sells books
http://www.standard.co.uk/news/get-london-reading/the-shop-that-no-rioter-wanted-to-loot-because-it-sells-books-6444750.html
>intoxicated
>hit some parked cars
>passed out in vehicle
Been looking forward to this thread ever since I got off work tonight.
So comfy now
shits getting real now
>red hoodie
>pulling on a car door handle
Trayvon 2.0, bet
Male black is back bitches
>suspicious person
>male black
>leather jacket
>pulling on car door handles
evening Roberts. hope everyone's /comfy/
Shocker! !!!!!!!!!!!
>also possibly intoxicated - shocker - ....
>Drunk, shocker.
Kek
>dispatch- possibly intoxicated, shocker....
>Intoxicated shocker
Bantz.
>"intoxicated, shocker"
So much battery tonight. Is male black extending his family hours tonight?
"also a possibly intoxicated... *shocker*..."
I love this dispatcher hahahaha
>sassy dispatch
square!
I like to get stoned snd listen to comfry robert hour
>>127402529
>>127402529
>>127402529
Fucking kek'd.
>throwing garbage
Literal apes
>>127404413
no, apes throw poo
>slurring their words
Those 40 ouncers pack a punch.
>>127404453
At least they do something with it, instead of just leaving it in the middle of the street
I fucking love these threads.
Female nog chimping out
kill them all with a gun Robert
>>127404289
>I like to get stoned
>flag
Checks out.
2071 robert dont got time for no shit
>>127404594
That was a good thread
>caller states females are yelling for help
>females yelling for help
save them robert
>females yelling for help
kekd. Rapin time
>Female black fighting with a man in a moving car
Some skills right there.
>no sense of direction
Kek
>>127404701
>2071
Wait a second Trudeau, that's not current year...
Hot night in coonistan
>>127404813
but if you stop them they win
>>127404850
She might get ejected. it happens a lot.
>>127404594
>you're breaking up Robert
>circling neighborhood in car
>brandishing a gun
>>127405094
cobra love.
>ex gf busting out car window, she has a permit
male black's dick game is strong
>ex-girlfriend trying to bust out his car window
gotta love wymyn
>have work in the morning
>see this thread
dangit
>having sex in a silver car
>People banging
>two people having sex in a silver two door car
>two people having sex in a silver two door car, nothing further
>pretty impressive
>two people having sex in a silver 2 door car
>"pretty impressive"
kek
>Two people having sex in a silver car
Robert, stop this breeding
>>127405268
>>127405235
I'm sorry robert
>fucking in a silver car
The absolutel east of Robert's problems.
>having sex in car
>cop: pretty impressive
kek
>>127405268
Robert
>pretty impressive
kek
>>127405299
>sex in a coupe
manlet confirmed
>tfw no crazy nigger gf
>caller states he doesnt know how to use a firearm
>>127403256
Read "Cannibals All!"
>blacks selling drugs
>in timbs
>selling drugs
check
>male black hard drugs
Bingo
>>127405564
That was fast
the party didn't start till they arrived
>>127403256
importing Africans was a mistake
party but no party going on
hwa
>male black black
super nigger
>robbed at gun point
>2 male blacks
they multiplying
>mugging at gunpoint by two blacks
>male black black with a gun
male black black
we've gone fully gone black
> male black robbery
yess
>loud party
>people arguing and throwing bottles
>>127405995
>people
chimps gonna chimp
>bunch of people on the block gambling
nothing to see here
>people on the block gambling
I got a hot hand nigga! Jamel needs a new pair or Jordan's!
>blacks congregating in the streets, gambling and making noise
Why are they like this
Why dispatchers use such a strange phonetic alphabet?
"Zebra", "young", etc.
>>127400112
NVNNHI
>>127406200
likely what they have used for years. hard to change habits
>>127406096
>>127406109
>tfw too white and nerdy to gamble with niggers
>>127406200
they don't use the NATO , they use the LAPD one
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LAPD_radio_alphabet
>>127406200
The LAPD phonetic predates NATO. It's what police have been using forever.
>black males in the street arguing over a dice game
oh shieeeetttt
>males arguing in the street over a dice game
>>127406200
Some agencies use NATO, many don't mostly because they don't want to be seen as "militaristic"... well, that has really changed in the last 15 years, but the phonetics didn't.
>>127406370
you aint no real robert if you cant walk out into the middle of the urban jungle and throw some bones with silverbacks
>>127406436
Wow, didn't know about this. Thanks for explanation, Robert.
So right on time for Robert we had a shot fired in an alley, then 5 shots fired later and one person shot and laying in the street so far tonight correct? So 7 shots total?
>in the street arguing over money and a dice game
>>127406461
REGULAAAATORS ROLL OUT
Oh boy, what have I missed? Just got back from work and am ready for maximum /comfy/
>dice game
>>127406525
>>127406461
Niggers know how to play dice? Color me surprised.
>several shots fired at sunnyside
>several shots heard and sunnyside and magnolia
>>127406096
>>127406109
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Y3rVGW24wc
here come the fireworks
>>127406629
its not vegas rules Robert.
gun shots
naw its just fireworks
>shoving a garbage bag into a mailbox
I wonder what's in there.
>>127406678
why won't my 14 year old daughter cum inside?
>male and female black
>removed black garbage bag from trunk
dumping body confirmed
>14 year old daughter refuses to come inside
W H O R E
>>127406785
kek
>"we have 2 shell casings on the street and car with gun shot holes"
>victim shot while walking down the street
nigga cannot catch a break
>shot as he was walking down the street
>innocent vehicle was in the wrong place at the wrong time
just now tunning in 10-4 Roberts
>wrong place wrong time
Every time in Chicago
>the innocent vehicle
top kek
Who is the Robert who sounds like a fucking baseball game announcer?
>classic announcer voice dispatch
>shoving a gabage bag into a postal box
>2 shell casings
>innocent vehicle in the wrong place at the wrong time
Robert sounds like a movie trailer announcer
INNOCENT VEHICLE
F
>>127406511
Cheers, m8. I thought it was pretty cool.
>shell casing on the street
>a vehicle that has been shot twice
>"so he was the passenger?"
>no, he was shot while he was walking the street
>the innocent vehicle was just in the wrong place at the wrong time
holy kek
>2 male black
>carrying a weapon
sharing it?
So... Vin Scully retired and joined the CPD?
Thanks so much
>>127406997
C R E W
S E R V E D
MALE BLACK STRIKES AGAIN
>grey SUV
>2 males blacks
>might be a warrant
>panicked latina needs a cop
this sounds like the plot of a porno, where real innocent latinas get ROBERT'D
>>127407231
reminds me of the border patrol ones, those are good
>innocent vehicle shot
heh, that's bingo card worthy material
ANONYMOUSS
>>127407397
Steve is the comfiest guy on Youtube.
I wonder what robert looks like...
>>127407504
Who?
>>127407514
>>127407590
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2I6Et1JkidnnbWgJFiMeHA
>>127407590
steve1989. The guy in the gif. He hunts down and tries out vintage MREs.
>>127407723
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HiIy3SlHs4
>bike stolen
>doing a report
people dying in the streets they doing a stolen bike report
>>127407625
>anonymous heard several shots fired
It's still hard for me to look back on American colonists importing blacks and not ask, "what were they thinking?" But they were just doing what everyone was doing. Africans owned other Africans as slaves, along with European slaves.
It was a white innovation to say that slavery was wrong. It just came too late after the discovery of the Americas.
>muh bike got stolen
>>127407625
ROTFLMFAO, love it.
>>127407877
>>127407924
just gotta nigger proof your bike
some more comfy ambient music to play at low volume
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1mUiAjHzAI
>hotboxing in a car
>>127407333
triples confirm
>Passin' out on the street
The Rookie
i heard screaming
>all units
!!!
>>127408188
Speaking of screaming, just saw a vid of some nasty fucker getting a golf ball sized cyst on his head lanced. Digest that info for a moment.
Hot pursuit
>smoking marijuana in the alley
>>127408354
That's tasty
>smoking marijuana in the alley
What we call in Canada a typical Saturday night
>>127408430
It looked like cream cheese, man.
>>127406596
Aww shit
940 checking in to the Texas Delegation of Roberts
>>127408600
210, checkin' in! Damn it feels good to be a Texan.
>>127408600
214 up!
>>127407877
Fun fact about the bike. They can't even prove it's yours unless you have the serial number written down somewhere. They ain't even gonna look for that bike. Or return it IF they do happen to find it.
>pink shirt green cargo shorts male white
/fa/?
>walking into the middle of the road causing a disturbance
why do they do that
>homeless female inside the lobby asleep
>priority
>>127408721
>>127408739
soon to be roadkill
>>127408765
must be a jewish owned building
>>127408026
god, that's the best prank I've ever seen
wish there was more
>>127408600
817 checkin in
>>127408765
That was funny.
>>127408765
Please don't be trump tower...please god. It'll be the story of the fucking summer
>>127408739
>why do they do that
it's a urban thing. they walk down the middle of the street so someone can't step out of a doorway or alley and rob them. at least that was why they first did it, now it's just a thing they do.
>>127408696
10-4 Robert.
underage drinking
>>127408600
705 checking in.Sup Roberts.
Chicago needs a happening
>>127408848
Ahahaha this pleases me, LeafRobert
>>127408848
original video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NX9wHZSRTl0
>Party, loud music, possibly underage drinking
WTF is male black celebrating?
Ems not going
>>127407723
Nice
>>127409074
8 of his chilrun's birthdays?
robert check my double digits over
>bleeding to death somewhere waiting for EMS
>EMS calls cops wants them to check it out first
You did this to yourselves, shooting at the ambulance and then needing their help
>>127409140
60 year old chesterfields. One day, I will have them.
>>127409028
Chicago IS a Happening.
>>127409074
dunno, gibs day isn't until what, Thursday?
Roberti the nigger hunter
>daughter hit her son with a stick
>then hit her
>hit her son with a stick
>loud noise in the background, nothing further
>>127409074
Dodging Child Support.
>>127409167
kek
>>127409137
Im on the edge of my seat robert
OH SHIT, Chimp out. It got a stick and dun hit da fambrily
>>127409208
No sympathy.
>daughter hit son with a stick, then hit mother
>>127409238
That orange flavored cereal bar from 1977 looked pretty heat
Robert bleess these digits
>>127409245
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PArF9k2SbQk
>>127409268
>>127409275
so, did she hit the callers son, or her own son? It could be either.
>>127409245
Niqqa scored a shitload of Tide, crack and Hennessy for erryone tonight!
>>127409399
checking those roberts
MUSIC DISTURBANCE!!!!!
>>127409399
>10-4 checked Robert, nothing further
>>127409399
>>127409399
Huh.
You ok Robert?
>>127409433
YEEEEEE NIGGUUUUHHHHH
>>127409414
>>127409414
>>127409414
>>127409386
I am sort of embarassed by how much I want to try compressed cereal bars, desu.
>unruly male in the mezzanine area
>>127409421
They're learning to use simple tools! Somebody send the PCP truck in stat!
>>127409414
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luo40WjBKWI
>>127409555
Shadilay!
>FIVE! AH AH AH!
had to step away for a couple hours, 847 returning robert here.
>about a hundred people drinking and being loud
>about a hundred people out there drinking
Did I hear that correctly?
>>127409555
What does Kek mean by all these digits tonight? Has the one true chaos god finally descended into Chicago to start the citywide Chimpogeddon?
>>127409784
We can only hope, and have faith, brother.
>>127409781
That's gonna turn real fucking fast
>100 people outside drinking
>male black X 100
>>127409781
Confirmed.
>>127409067
much appreciated, Robert
>12-15 people fighting inside
>security says they are strapping now
>>127409900
Checked. Expect some serious violence.
New bread almost ready
>>127409752
>>127409781
it's proly just 10-15 but the person that called it in was all "Dey be like...a hunna people out her drinkin' and shit, send the pohlese!"
>>127409555
>>127409900
>>127409966
whats going on here
>>127409784
>>127409900
S H A D I L A Y
>>127409966
K3k wills it
any video/chase streams?
where has crabby dispatch gone??
>>127409966
WHAT DOES KEK MEAN BY THIS?!
>>127400112
Damn this is awesome.
>>127409966
Checked for Robert's guardian angel, callsign CHAOS
Tonight is Beat-your-wife-and-play-loud-music night in Chicongo. A national holiday.
>>127409692
Just in time for the shitskin pot to boil over. Welcome back.
people fighting AND trying to break into cars. WTF
NEW BREAD
NEW BREAD
NEW BREAD
>>127410130
>>127410130
migrate
>>127410130
>>127409966
PRAISE HIM!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXZQd0mQcwg
>>127410133
>>127410144
OH FUG.
Robert stay safe out there!
>>127410122
>>127410133
>>127410144
He speaks!
>>127410196
>yo nigga nah nah, I'm on papers still motha fucka don't be breakin into shit
>fight ensues.
I like my version
>robbery grey suv
>two male black
Here we go lads!
GOOOOO git em Robert!
>>127408600
817
>You OK over there?
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON
>stabbed in the torso