Give me you best Jewish conspiracy theories

The holocaust did happen, Hitler caught all of the jews and gassed them all, but every one of them survived the gas.

my theory is that Jews are actually normal people that don't follow the majority religion and have developed ethnic and cultural differences due to inter-mairage being highly frowned upon, thus leading to people misunderstanding them.

>>127150777
What did kek mean by this

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jews its always been the jews oh god i think i may be ill

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>>127150777
How can I misunderstand the giant hole in my checking account when Mr. Shekelstein pilfers my shekels?

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>>127149937

>>127149937

Jews don't actually exist. We're just being jewed to believe the jews are jewing us by some sort of meta-jew race.

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Jews are literally children of Satan, and not human-beings.

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the jews stole the secrets of the ancients from egypt

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>>127149937
Jews are a race (sub species) and have the highest IQ and are really talented and never participate in world wide usury schemes, slave trades, opium, or blood diamonds,

well when the aliens where here after the flood they took advantage of all these tribes, one being these jews isrealites. the aliens tormented and used the jews as slaves. most of the stuff in the first bible is true. jews told by aliens they were gods chosen people thus believe themselves to be superior, also jewish kaballah is some real shit

>>127152126
That sounds like something Trump would say.

>>127149937
Most of the governments of the west are under the control or heavy influence of a predominantly Jewish deep state (ZOG)

Nothing too exciting, babby's first redpill

>>127150777
You're probably right, but now everyone just calls Rothschild minions "jews" and we get nowhere.
What if the Jews (the layman) are our okayest allies but we misunderstand?
How do we name the problem without calling them Jews?

>>127150777
Witnessed

>>127149937
Hitler was a jew and he faked the holocaust for youtube views

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They're trying to get rid of all white people and rule over all "goyim".

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When I was drunk I concocted the idea that everything marked Kosher was a sign to the Jews of what foods weren't GMO, disease-causing. Therefore they could outlive most other groups.

Wouldn't be surprised if there is a hint of truth in that, eat your Matzah bawlllss.

Read the creature from jeckll island, replace the cabal with Jews. Entire book is 100% accurate as it describes history of what happens when you go against bankers. The federal reserve member banks are all Jews. Basically they get paid money and don't do a damn thing, federal reserve prints money sounds like typical jewry to me.

>>127150915

seriously???>>127150777

No jew has ever gone to heaven, YHWH abandoned them starting with Judah

>>127150777
i kind of agree, i don't think they have secret meetings or some shit. they just have high iqs and place lots of value on education. that said, they are physically truly an inbred, physically weak, ugly people who benefit unjustly from their legally permissible nepotism, perpetual victimhood, and ability to seemingly modify their identity (jews are white! no wait, we aren't!) at will. they also rarely produce goods and services of actual value or beauty and destroy societies with their short-term mentality, as

>>127151324

mentions (good jpg, read it if you haven't).

>>127155201
>surviving on hummus
fuck that id rather die

>>127156317
Would probably be pretty expensive importing on that island too. Aren't sheep and hobbits staples in your diet?

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>>127149937

>>127149937
Holy fuck how did I miss that slimy merchant in the Phantom Menace being totally jewish?

Is George Lucas redpilled as fuck? I was never much into Star Wars. Did Disney jew him out of the star wars properties to (((enhance))) the propaganda?

>>127149937
JEWlery

Need I say more?

>>127156873
/pol/ is well and alive in Lithuania

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>>127149937
The whole meme about all Jews being evil is fabricated by the Jews. Not all Jews are bad but the good jews are used as patsys by the bad ones. When the good jews are killed by unkowing stormfags, the bad ones point to "anti-semitism" and they gain from victim hood.
>Bad bolshevik jews fuck up Germany
>Hitler is tricked that all jews are bad
>kills some Jews
>OY VEY MUH HOLOCUAST
>Israel is established a few years later.

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>>127157920

>>127150777
This is true, on average the jew is not our enemy. Bankings/investors and corporations are the enemy. Numales and SJWs are the enemies. It just so happens that jews are wildly over represented in those groups but every individual should be weighed on their own, not with the weight of the sins of their race.