An Average Day in New Britain.

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313KB, 1200x1112px

>Wake up at 5am due to the Islamic call to prayer being blasted out of loudspeakers.

>Make myself a toast sandwich and a cup of instant black coffee that tastes of sour dirt.

>Turn on the radio, its Caliph Khan reciting verses from the Qur'an.

>Check my post, shit. I forgot to pay the TV license again, I'm going to prison.

>Its time to go to work at my local call centre.

>Leave my front door, there are odious bearded men patrolling the streets - they give me dirty looks, some call me scum and a kuffar. Litter and rubble is everywhere and pale, skinny hooded chavs comb the streets for cigarette butts

>Approach the bus stop, the first bus had been reappropriated by the local Islamists and ploughed through the last group waiting for it - there are body parts all over the road and the blood stains still haven't been cleaned up since yesterday.

>My ride approaches "LOVE IS THE ONLY TENET OF ISLAM" is emblazoned across the front - luckily this one hasn't been hijacked Get on the bus and pay the bus driver £5.50 for a ten minute journey there are women in niqabs and burkas on every seat so I have to stand. They all go silent as I enter.

>Arrive at the bus stop and get off, there is the daily beheading taking place across the street from where I get off, looks like they finally got Vicar Williams. People are walking past and cheering before kicking the poor Vicar's head into the gutter

>There is another Pakistani running down the main road holding the head of the local police constable - he is shanking old ladies as he rushes down the street. Thank god he didn't see me.

>Cries of ALLAHU ACKBAAR!! fills the air. Its National Mujahideen day - the most important national holiday. My workplace is closed.

>I am torn apart by an exploding pipe bomb that lands at my feet, as my shattered bones and ribbons of flesh splatter across the street - I die happy - at least I wasn't an Islamophobe.