/CPD/ CHICAGO PD SCANNER THREAD

>There is a guy in a wheelchair in the middle of the street who doesn't apper to be asleep
>Uber driver ended up in wet concrete
>Four male asians in an open garage playing live music since this morning
>Female came down from heaven and is communicating with someone
>Man with a banjo and a bucket playing in front of the church
>Do you have any smooth surfaces that are not wood from which DNA can be obtained?
>Male Black with puple gloves and surgical masks
>We're going to need a bomb dog here
>Something really bad happening. Not sure what.
>Caller was attacked by the computer tech
>Reckless driver is firing shots

G'dEvening, how's the Adam shift?

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>>126838491
Thanks for the SITREP m8. I just came on and saw no thread.

>>126838595
Back at ya, m8.

>Male Dispatch is trying to callback, and is stuck in a robot computer menu
lel. I hope nobody's being murdered

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evening Roberts

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Ay, Adam's got a frequent flyer!

>>126839759
Welcome back, lad.

Male Black is singing and dancing on the bus, trying to get the wheel from the driver

>silver revolver
shit, we movin' on up

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>Both had guns
>One a big silver revolver
>Struck the delivery guy
>Stole Roughly $7
Fuckin coons, mane.

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Keys checked.

had a body snatcher request earlier

>7-8 SHOTS

>7-8 SHOTS FIRED

>AH AH AH

>FEMALE SCREAMING FOR HELP

>"YA KNOW, GOOD PEOPLE!" :3

>trying to kick in the back do'

>>126841850
I tire of Adam's foolishness. 40 minutes until RRH

Been a long ass day Roberts. Ready for comfy time.

How's everyone this evening.

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I'm hungry

>>126843071
>>126843151
Welcome back, anons. Things are still slow.

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CHECK THOSE KEYS!!

Client been drinking, he just wants to get his shit back

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>THE COMPUTER TECH THAT ASSAULTED THE CLIENT EARLIER
>JUST CALLED ALSO
>LEFT HIS PHONE AT THE CLIENT'S APPT
>SHES BEEN DRINKING

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>>126843501

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>>126838313

Does Male Black have any known accomplices?

Diversy is fucked, 15 yr old male black learning to climb fences on his own

Also QUIT PLAYIN DEM DRUMS OUTSIDE MUH APARTMENT

>>126843845
Hizz Panic

3 male blacks in the parking lot, one has gun in bookbag

And BODYSNATCHER

>>126843845
HisPanic, ShotsFired, some others. Some other anon named them all and it was pretty lulzy

Mama drinking, domestic with 20 yr old son

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Good afternoon anon, time to get comfy and get ready for RRH

Female having anxiety attack and husband will not let her out of the house

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>>126844022>>126844154


Police don't use Media code words like "Teens, Youths, Mob Violence" or "Random Attack?"

That's not very PC of them.

>>126844386
Hot cocoa sounds delightful.

>>126843566

Thanks man. Looking forward to the holiday weekend shit show coming up

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>>126844448
Wise husband

>>126844616
Robert's seen far too much to be impacted by such frivolities.

Robert deals in facts, casings, and blood

Also highly intoxicated Hispanic male managed to lock himself inside storage unit

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The sweet sounds of Roberts logging on...19 fries lads

>>126844645
It is going to be messy, if mothers day is any indication.

>>126845191
It always is. Male and Female black will unleash their young on Chicago for the summer

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East coast Robert reporting for duty.

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>>126846096
Welcome back Marinegineer Canuckanon. Shift change is now.

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>>126846096
>>126844386

Welcome to the Octagon, standby for shift change, and please leave your keys in the checked position

>>126846313
Good to be back Robert, are we all rested and full of piss and vinegar ready to pound out these Robert hours? Also, I've gotta travel a little yet so my ID may change Robert.

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>>126846520
Full on a hot supper, beers chilling. Ready for the hilarity to start. Safe travels! Why will your ID be changing? How are you being conveyed?

Git yo' lunch calls in fo' tonight

Foster son missing not the first one - 14 yr old male black, jacked up on ADHD meds

>He has ADHD and is on medication
>Has gone missing
Anon, no!

Male and female blacks loitering and selling behind Rosalina's building, she can't make her tortillas with that racket

Awww shit domestic in a townhouse, baby is screaming

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Good evening Robert

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>>126847343
Evening, lad. Settle in, the ride is starting!

Male Hispanic calling on female Hispanic girlfriend who is yelling at his kids

They have to go back Robert

This is just a reminder, make sure to listen in this weekend. International Mr. Leather will be taking place at the Congress Hotel and surrounding in the South Loop area, District 1, Zone 4 with events in Boystown, District 19, Zone 2. Their parties can get insane as the fags tear shit up. Keep an ear out.

>>126847708
OH shit now I really can't wait

Gonna need special bingo cards for this, maybe just all squares in the "weird shit" category

>>126847708
Oh boy, that sounds like it has serious flashmob potential. Welcome back, lad. Were you the one who took the pic of the two roberts locked outside their patrol car?

what does robert mean

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>>126848056
One of the many I've taken.

>>126848142
the name of the night shift

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shot fired

>30 SHOTS FIRED

>>126848203
FUCKING THANK YOU! BRB memeing

SHOT FIRED: 30

And one of two males blacks had dreads, that'll make him stand out

>nigger with dreads... all black. and another dindu with dreads.... also in all black

I SWEAR IT WUZN ME

>>126848317
fucks sake its a deathmatch

>>126848052
Definitely need to include phrases like "assless chaps" "fighting with dildos/phallic objects", "public sex" and "wearing all leather".

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>>126848142

>>126846755
Leaving wifi zone to data Robert, going mobile for a bit.

>>126848485
The 7-11/Walgreens shenanigans will be fucking great

>>126838313

It's going to be coon central this weekend. 4th of July practice.

>>126848333
Kek wills it. In this one, a supervisor with a slim Jim drove up.

>male black with a gun at harold's chicken
>his pants are falling down

>>126848203
When Robert is farrrr to careless with his keys

Also, male black with a gun outside the chicken restaurant

>>126848597
"Clerk reported a large group of men wearing, as they claim, "extremely exposing" outfits, refusing to leave."

Pit bull attack - owner stood there laughing

>>126848979
Kek, "Dey stealing all dis baby powder and keep talkin bout chaffing and sheeeiiitt"

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>>126848897
thats wacist
that is a perfect stereotype

someone gettin raped

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>>126848979
Also, hood rats are going to be extremely confused by this walking into da club

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>>126848926
That's why you gotta check ALL of your keys.

Damn Roberta

Dispatch - "he's an insane doofus, what's he doin there if he's a gangbanger, take yo ass home"

DISPATCH CHECK YO OWN KEY

>hes an insane duece
>what is he doing out of bensonville
>take is ass home
Sassy is on fire tonight.

1 male in the alley in suspicious vehicle, is it a fappening?

>>126849428

Do they ever say anything to you?

>>126849808
kek, he's in the "Insane Deuces"
they're a gang
I'm sure he is also an insane doofus though

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>>126838313

>>126850076
Not really. I don't get in their way, the lock out shots were behind them, they didn't see me, other shots, well, they're too busy going somewhere to pay attention to someone taking a pic.

>two year old having a seizure

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>>126848626
Shadilay.

>>126850293
I don't think it's gonna catch on. Sorry anon

>>126838313
I'm trying to collect as much /CPD/ aesthetic as I can. Dump what you have please.

>mental health facility on fire
>female refuses to leave

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>>126850958
I will inevitably be posting my stuff over the course of the thread. I don't know if any other /cpd/ memers are on right now.

>firearm recovered

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>>126850958
anon made this at my request the other day

>>126851547
oh, you edited it to show they only have two choppers?

>>126851885
>>126851960
Kek! I was just about to point that out to you. My autisms couldn't take it.

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>>126850958

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>>126850958
Here you go robert

>>126852007
lol, I was shocked to find they only have the two airships FOR ALL OF FUCKING COOK COUNTY

>>126852120
They don't have vests, what did you expect

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>>126850958

>>126852120
Well, they aren't even used that much. PH1 has a basic loadout, but PH2 has DHS extras like a radiation detector and whatnot. Someone posted a list showing the different specs last night.

>>126852401
See
>>126850649

>the meatwagon has arrived

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>>126852055

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>>126852241
>>126852401
remember Roberts, don't look them in the eye, or they will be provoked into attacking you

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>>126852015

>>126850649
Sorry, I missed it. Fucking Pepe Von Count. Hahaha!

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>>126852695

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>>126852847

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>>126852891

shit, 56 and rainy tonight, going to be a domestic kind of night

>daughter's father is doing drugs and being unruly

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>>126852847

Teeeeeeeeeeeeen Four!

if gets then the chimps will go wild at 12pm

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>>126852941

>still there doing drugs and being unruly

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>>126853210

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>>126853205

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>>126853210
ew, i still have the shit version.

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I got someone in a /cpd/ thread to make this for me by editing a gif, I still laugh anytime I watch it

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>>126853336

digits for chimp den drive by

>brianna says mom locked her out of the apartment
>they don't live in the same apartment
>she was just trying to give mom a hard time

Sounds like someone needs to be tazed.

How do I become a dispatcher?

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>>126853418
top kek

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>>126853444

>female black
>20 years of age
>frequent flyer
wonder how many miles till she gets a free round trip?

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>>126853432

>>126853444
Kek agrees.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1QunAkBWBo

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>>126853643

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>>126853643

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>>126853868

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>>126854003

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>>126853432
These are great, can a nigga get a non-text version for my desktop?

>>126854029
>>126851547
the internet is wide and deep. how long you think before one of these images is sold on the street of Chiraq to tourists?

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Why is it always a taurus, mercury, or 300?
(300 in general, not related to dispatch)

>>126854372
I unfortunately do not have one for that one, or most of these really. Going forward I will save text-less versions of my pics.

>black male driving a mercury

Don't lie, dispatch. A Mercury cannot be driven.

>>126854451
We need to beat them to it, just like the coffee table book idea

>another domestic
>where ever I am I must also nig

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>>126854712
nobody wants to steal the stock rims on those?

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>>126854719
thx, here, have a robert.

>>126855049
Jesus, don't drive a honda in Chicago.

7/11 happening.

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Male black is giving Robert a busy night.

>missing 15 year old
>named precious
>ward of the state
>habitual

>>126855900
how does something of that mass go missing?

>>126855900
is she fat and does she steal chicken?

>>126856079
I'm going to say yes to both.

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check those keys.....or else

>minivan with 8 kids

Did I hear that right?

>>126856655
an urban troop transport. when they get older, they'll be borrowing it to do drive bys.

>homeless female wearing a garbage bag pushing a cart down the street

>>126856655
Yes, yes you did

>>126838313
I'm currently in PHX airport waiting to board my plane to ORD to start my internship in Chicago. I am afraid.

>>126856932
ghetto camouflage

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>>126857137
>I am afraid.
You're also our newest reconnaissance asset. congratulations! I hope you have a good plate carrier and a better phone camera!

>>126857137
just tell yourself it's distant thunder and not gunshots
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9cXPYZ3mrg

>>126857346
I'm not sure what you mean by plate carrier but I'm going to be staying with a Mexican family on Airbnb on the west side of Chicago, am I fucked?

>>126857137
We expect press level pics of the shit happening on the streets, this is your new internship

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>>126857515
Do you get to keep the house when they go back?

>>126857515
>plate carrier
it's a step above a bullet proof vest that usually has ceramic or steel plates for extra balistic protection

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so many damn domestics

>>126858142
it's cold and rainy, Male Black can't hang out on the corner

>>126858142
everyone's gettin they ass beat 2nite.

>>126857515
>Mexican family
>Airbnb
>am I fucked?
I predict rape, or organ harvesting.

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>>126857346
Welcome to the jungle, rookie.

>Mrs. Bauller is at the hospital
>Needs pictures took of her beat to shit mouf region

>Traffic stop with a long-expired DL

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the pictures of the city with that like 3d glasses effect are amazing. nice work roberts

>>126858805
that street screams "DON'T STOP NIGGER! KEEP DRIVING!"

>>126858975
Oh yeah. Just expanded that image a few seconds, and my house spontaneously grew bars on the windows. Powerful coonish energies at work there.

>>126859145
ha yea i like how the street lights going off into the distance look. like danger is lurking or something

>>126859463
I wonder how many even work

Robert flirting on the air with QT dispatch? Scandalous!

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>robert and dispatch flirting
>mfw

>>126860110
>>126860110
"Transferring you to a MALE"

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>>126860010
trying to catch a dispatcher
Nice

>>126857776
How much does one cost?

>>126858335
how should I proceed ???

>>126860202
>>126860193
>>126860110
>>126860220
That's a rare spot on the bingo cards.

>>126860377
I'm just fuckin witchu, mane. You'll be fine
>Don't be alone at night.

>>126860263
depends on brand and features, and that's before you add in the cost of plates

>>126860506
Can u estimate a price range?

>>126857137
>>126860377
what's your internship for and why is it in Chicago?
I don't know about staying with a Mexican family off of airbnb. I'd never heard of airbnb before, but
>Airbnb is an online marketplace and hospitality service, enabling people to lease or rent short-term lodging including vacation rentals, apartment rentals, homestays, hostel beds, or hotel rooms.
from wikipedia makes it sound like you're rolling the dice with this one. Dunno how it works though, or if there's ratings and stuff, etc.

>>126860708
airbnb is legit, you just type in a city and find a host with good reviews
couchsurfing is an alternative

>>126860625
a simple plate carrier is $150-200 min, if it's made of Kevlar fabric the price climbs. Plates can run $200-500 depending on material (steel, or ceramic)
or you can just get a simple "soft" bullet proof vest with a small "second chance" plate that goes over the heart

>>126860885
>couchsurfing

Isn't that just asking to get murdered?

>>126861019
If you do it in white areas, no

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>known offender
>possibly gang related

>>126860885
Oh OK, yeah, he'll probably be fine then
>>126860377
hey, if anything interesting happens, come back with a story, robert

>>126861328
wew, that's hood as fuck.

Precious is accounted for! Now beat that dumb bitch!

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>female screaming for help
>They don't know where she is

>precious has returned
>corpse in the ER

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>>126861651
does not look friendly. a couple more blocks west, you end up here^

>>126862113
Austin is bad news. Englewood is also bad news.

>>126862113
>84.2% black population
I would smack the real estate agent and tell them don't you dare try to show me anything in that neighborhood

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>>126862113
Here's a gangmap made by ???. It is useful to keep open when taking streetview tours.
https://www.google.com/maps/d/u/0/viewer?mid=1C1zMOFEfuvs8yPH8ydvQj5m0_AA&hl=en_US&ll=41.83732343962313%2C-87.65881775000003&z=11

So I have no idea what's going on, can someone explain what the appeal. Right now I'm hearing a woman chase a nigga into a basement? That's fucked

>>126862531
it's like an IV drip of happenings. Crazy shit goes down in Chicago but like anything there are big nights and quiet nights. Weather plays a big part

>>126862285
My grandpa was a Danish immigrant and went to high school in Austin in the 40's. Demographics have shifted a bit.

>>126862366
kek, imagine being a real estate agent in austin. tough gig

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>>126862531
We are vultures, watching a great wounded beast bleed. It staggers in circles, bellowing its rage and defiance at its fate, and yet never dies.

>>126862725
>Demographics have shifted a bit.
Just a little, kek.

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>>126862531

>>126862467
>Boss Pimps
lol. didn't know google got down on slang like Chiraq

>>126862647
What weather brings the niggles out the most?

>>126863088
The hotter it is, the crazier the shit that goes on. Difference is literally night and day. If it's raining, we'll only really hear about domestic calls. Indoor stuff.

>>126862725
>kek, imagine being a real estate agent in austin. tough gig
not going to make much on commission. I imagine there are a few black owned West Shells and Remaxx offices that work those areas, and maybe even a few independents that are willing to deal with the bull shit
>Whatchu mean we can't 200k for my granmamas house? It's big n' shit!
>well it also needs a new roof, electrical work and there are three years of unpaid property taxes hanging over it.

>>126862531
Because things like this happen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tr_VbIg5LrU

>sorry reg roberts, most don't want to relive those nights

>>126863013
Whomever generates that map knows the game. the little descriptors that list the thugs names for different neighborhoods, and the gang sub-cliques all hold up. I'm not sure if its current, however. From what I've turned up in my reading, turf is highly marbled in most cases, and control is fluid in many hoods.

>>126863088
hot and dry. when it's cold and/or wet you'll hear a lot of domestics. Exception is sometimes on the weekends you'll hear about crazy shit going down at bars even when the weather sucks

>>126863005
And what of this mythical creature known as Robert? You guys seem to like him allot.

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>>126863258
>REEEEEEEEEEE
No, its an indicator of how real shit can get with little or no warning. It was dead quiet, that was a normal tedious traffic stop when that ambush came in.

>>126863364
He is the yin to MALE BLACK's yang. He keeps the balance in Chicago.

>>126863285
>turf is highly marbled in most cases, and control is fluid in many hoods.
I'm sure there are many blocks and streets that two diff gangs will say they "own". Is it like the 80s still? do they tag the streets they own? or do things kind of reach an equilibrium and the two groups know that street X is a dividing line not to be crossed?

>>126863258

I was listening live to that. I posted it to the board when someone asked for it. Weeks later I put on my YouTube history while I am cleaning. Never wanted to hear it again.

>someone has a gun
>they were having sex with someone

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>>126863364
Robert is radio brevity for "R", in Chicago, the 1st shift (10pm-6am) officers are called the "relief" watch, hence, "Robert"
>He is a superhero, singlehandedly taking on the night to safeguard his city against the diabolical forces of Male Black.


>Someone has a GUN
>They are having sex with someone

>someone has a gun. Is having sex. There's a commotion in the middle of the street

What

>>126862531
To expand on what >>126862647 said, it turns out that chicago male black is water soluble in rain. Thus, with no way of committing battery at the club, he is instead resigned to beating whoever lives with him. Such is life in the Chicago.

Warm weekends are the best for /CPD/ threads and rainy weekdays are the slowest. Even then, a slow /CPD/ thread has more comfy and more happenings than you could imagine.

Example:
>male holding gun while fucking someone else in the middle of the street

>>126863545
>do they tag the streets they own?
yes. I have observed fairly recent streetview imagery of overpasses and rail tresses bearing obvious and recognizable gang tags.
>do things kind of reach an equilibrium and the two groups know that street X is a dividing line not to be crossed?
I do not know. I am intensely curious, however.

>>126863676
How about last week, when the call came in about a guy masturbating while pushing a van

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>>126863258
A day I remember all too well.

>>126863570
Same on the live feed that night. I'm with the many that never want to hear it again.

Chiraq is a fucked up place man

>>126863258
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tr_VbIg5LrU

RIP Roberts

>>126863942
Two officers were shot, one on the back, the other in the arm and hip. Both survived, thankfully.

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Anyone have the story post that was put over this one?

>Robert sitting on "the Alderman's residence"
>to be relieved at 2 am
gee, I'm sure everyone in Chitcago wishes they could have a CPD car and two Roberts sitting outside their home all night long too.

>>126863798
Oh wow I wasn't there for that one. I've heard of chicago's finest citizens publicly masturbating IN vans. I've never heard of them going full John Henry and fapping at passerbys. They're evolving anon...

>she thinks her boyfriend has set the garage on fire

Garage on fire

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>>126864209
gotchu senpai

>>126864456
That's the one. This time it's saved to my phone. Thanks.

>>126864456
>stable condition
Jesus kek

>>126863594
best Count

>>126864644
the whole thread hollering at Robert when he made that call was a beautiful thing

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>FOUR TO FIVE
>FOUR TO FIVE SHOTS FIRED
>AH AH AH

And people screaming

>>126864797
thx m8

>Male hispanic says someone is trying to shoot him

>unknown hispanic tried to shoot him

Male His Panic is up to something.

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>request for body removal

>Robert needs amber lamps
>female adult is down

>known cutter
>history of suicide attempts
>just released from the psych hospital
>threatening to kill herself

>just released from psyche hospital
>threatening to kill herself
Well that didn't take long

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>>126866508
>>126866529

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my comp couldn't handle real robert hours, had to do a half hour software update, missed all the gunplay

>someone was ringing her doorbell for 20 minutes
>then left and came back

>>126868389
No guns, can't shoot. reeeee

>lunchtime
Have a nice meal, Robert!

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>THREE
>THREE SHOTS FIRED
>AH AH AH

Black hoodie?? What about his skin?

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>>126863005
>obligatory pic related

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B&E?

>pulled victim out of the vehicle and stabbed him

>victim stabbed the offender
>awesome
noice

>victim stabbed the offender
>that's awesome
*dispatch chimes in*
>HA, awesome

>I HAVE THREE OFFENDERS IN THE VEHICLE
>AS THE THIRD CARJACKER WAS GETTING INTO THE CAR, THE VICTIM STABBED HIM

>[LAUGHING] WHAT IS THE LICENSE PLATE OF THE VEHICLE?

>>126870316
You heard wrong friend.

How's it going, lads?

Just got off work. I'm at Remedy on Milwaukee. Anything happening near me?

holy shit
>grandpa pistol whipped

>dispatcher 1: as the offenders pulled him out of the car, the victim stabbed him
>Robert: hahaha that's awesome
>dispatcher 2: yeah that's awesome

They're still laughing and so am I.

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>>126870491

Took this today, looked good to me. Fucking homeless smelling like piss under the bridge. Held my breath taking the pic.

>>126870573
Jamal's going to jail, and he's going to be sporting a new hole for Kareem to rape. Sheeeiiit!

>>126870804
Chicago has some mighty nasty overpasses.

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>>126870804
hello friend. pigeon shit all over the ground behind the sign is a nice touch

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>>126870905

Truly disgusting between the homeless and the balls of pigeon feathers mixed with shit. It's mortifying.

OP is stepping out, lads. Stay comfy!

>>126871669
adios anon. see ya next time

20 people fighting outside, god if only that became a full scale riot

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>20 people fighting

wow this general ain't so bad

>>126871800
Good god. 20

>>126838313
bumpin the blood wars niggas know

>>126871829
kaotic has some pretty insane chimpout vids with 20 or so participants

>>126872021
Thanks.

sounds like a knife fight in a house

Nothing but a simple knife fight.

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>>126872309

>>126872494
looks like something duterte would do

>>126862467
Lol "Vice Lords"
"Gangster Disciples"

Do they get edgy 10 year olds to name their faggot cool kid clubs or something?

>>126872868
Who the fuck would want to be a disciple? It's like naming your game "Begginer/Intermediate Warrior"

>>126872494

great movie

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>>126872868
kek, this is from that map

>name
Multiple Gangs " Roseland"
description
WILD 100s ROSELAND/ THROUGHOUT THESE AREAS THERE ARE MANY GANGS ON BLOCKS FROM MICKEY COBRAS, GANGSTER DISCIPLES, BLACK DISCIPLES, BLACK P. STONES, AND VICE LORDS

>>126873381
sorry that wasn't me yelling, copypaste went bad

>three bonafide missings from the group home

How's it going tonight? Anything exciting?

>>126875713
runecrafting cant talk
but it was pretty neat.
victim of carjacking stabbed one of the offenders, robert and dispatched both laughed and said it was awesome

also 20 person fight and the usual

>>126876116
also robert and dispatch getting a little flirty early on

>>126875713
its been raining all night in chicongo so a little quiet

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>>126876116
>getting blood all over the inside of your car
Poor guy

>>126869860
I'm in that area. A couple days ago the phone store a few blocks away was robbed. I wonder if it's the same guys.

One na na

>this call

Male Caller was robbed by Male Black he met on social media.

>Okie dokie

>>126877736
shouldn't have relaxed