/CPD/ CHICAGO PD SCANNER THREAD - CHIRAQALYPSE NOW EDITION

>>126533785
righteous

>>126533785
more great OC, OP

>he's calling and she's calling and there's loads of extra crap

>>126533785
so there was a suicidal robert I missed?

>>126533785
genius...

>>126533785
that's pretty fuckin sweet OC bro. saved

Good morning Roberts, sorry I'm late
>>126533785
Great looking OC Robert!

>>126533785
pretty good work man

>>126533785
Saved. nice work

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>>126533872
>>126533909
>>126533970
>>126533976
>>126533997
>>126534057
>>126534079
Thanks lads, and thank you anon, who challenged me with the idea. Its a pretty fucking rad concept.

at the Drunkin Monkey??? did i hear that right??

>Asian Male
>Drunkin Monkey

I love this scanner

> at the Drunken Monkey
> asian man punched out their window

>asian man punched officer's window
>asian

>Drunken Monkey
This goes on the list with Chinese Yum Yum

>u com down now!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ML8xzmbyG6A

>caller states 22 y/o intoxicated daughter needs to be removed

>tfw no drunk burnout gf

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>mfw i realized i have a bag of pork rinds and don't need to go to the gas station

also I've never heard of the Drunken Monkey

>>126534259
only bar i can find is The Drum and Monkey

>>126534347
Literally all I want in life


a qt gf who likes to drink with me

>shitty OC circle jerk

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>>126534519

>>126533785
god damn it sharon

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>>126534519

>>126534407
https://www.yelp.com/map/drunken-monkey-bar-and-smokehouse-grant-park

dispatch probably thought they meant grant park chicago not wherever the fuck this is.

>woman doesn't feel safe because homeless people at the train station

>>126534329
how many traffic accident deaths happen daily there??? the traffic vids from ho chi min city looks nuts.

>>126533785
>doesn't feel safe because there are homeless people at the train station.....handle accordingly

>>126533785
call him

>>126534773
dispatch sounded disgusted

>>126534773
First world problems.

>>126534787
>>126534773
She's in Chicago. If that disturbs her calm, she's going to have a bad time.

>>126534852
Chicongo is the 3rd world.

>>126534329
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4phFYiMGCIY

>>126534913
fuckin a she's gonna have a bad time

>>126534773
>>126534787
>>126534913
remember: homeless "people"
these probably aren't your ordinary homeless "people"

> group of 10 male asians

Now it's 10 male asians... hahahaha

>10 male asians in green and tan polos busting windows.

It is the Drum and Monkey. dispatch came in clear this time
10 male asians. oh shit son its a gaggle of gooks

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>>126534501
>yfw alpha males do this all the time
>yfw this is considered normal behavior in the current year and you're not participating in it

>>126534983
it's probably a group of homeless asians

>10 male asians
THE UPLISING BEGINS!

>>126534786
much less than you'd think. you can't drive very fast and there is a rhythm to it.

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>>126535008
>mfw a gaggle of gooks is about

>>126535038
>American Asians
>homeless

>>126534989
Probably Chinese mafia.

Might see some rush hour 2 shit with the gooks and niggers teaming up

I'm just realizing there hasn't been a single white person yet.

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>>126535008
ITS A GOSH DARN GAGGLE OF GOOKS!

>child caller said people are fighting on 3rd floor and someone's screaming

come on

>>126535145
> chinese and niggers teaming up
Apart from Rush Hour, has that ever happened?

>>126535132
this. i just realized i have seen one old asian lady that was homeless in my entire life.

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>mfw Robert goes Dynasty Warriors on this gabble of gooks.

>>126535255
Rush hour 1 as well

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>>126535225

Height 6'3", weight 450

>"male 6'3 and 400 to 450"
>bipolar female adult resident threatening to burn building down

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male black 6'3" between 400-450 lbs. holy shit thats a shaved gorilla

>>126535415
She's bluffing. How will she get out?

>>126535391
>>126535415
>>126535421

that's on the fat side though

another body snatcher needed

>>126535256
There used to be this really polite asian homeless lady near Division and Dearborn that would push around a purchased garbage can on wheels and constantly buy 30 lbs of peanuts and never bothered anyone besides taking too long in line.

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Version 2 of OP pic. R8 please. I included The Cure.

>>126535517
30 lbs of peanuts
what was her end game?

>>126535545
even better

>>126535545
mighty

>>126535545
nice work

>>126535626
anon: the faggot

>>126535626
how's your chimp wife doing bud

need a call about a school bus to get a bingo tonight

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>>126535517
>that would push around a purchased garbage can on wheels and constantly buy 30 lbs of peanuts and never bothered anyone besides taking too long in line.
Thirty. That's one strict diet. We should get /fit/ to weigh in on this.

>>126535545
v nice friend

>>126535701
>not including pic

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>>126535626

>>126535626
You are the male black of this thread, now fuck off

>>126535586
Peanuts are probably among the healthiest and cheapest thing a homeless person could buy and the place had buy one get one at $2 per giant ass thing of them. So she bought out the entire section. She kept talking to herself in the middle of the transaction and said her family disowned her. Wouldn't have been surprised if she was rich and crazy and actually lived in an expensive building but her kids were taking advantage of her.

>>126535701
The bars haven't even let out yet.

The night is young

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>>126535545
>>126535733
both look like they were made on a cracked screen ipad by a 7 year old

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>>126535761

>male, intoxicated just hit her

>>126535905
fucking kek
smart money's on left column before middle row desu

Can someone explain this Robert Chiraq shit for me? Is it a bunch of people roleplaying that they're cops named Robert or what? It makes no sense and the OPs post makes it all sound really gay

>>126535998
you're gay
http://www.broadcastify.com/listen/feed/763/web

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>>126535973
Pity its slow, that card is generous for the normal levels of coonery this city gets up to.

>>126535973
do school buses used as party buses count as school buses?

>>126536059
legit

>>126536059
picked it because its slow. the weapons one is really difficult to get a bingo on.

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>>126535998

>shots fired at something and ellington

>>126536109
Yeah i'd say so
School buses dont even run this late so

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TWO!
TWO SHOTS FIRED!
AH AH AH

>>126536059
lmao looks like a grandma took a PS course a adult school

>>126535905
mark off chilluns in danger!

>..pulled a gun out on the kids

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>>126536282
10-4 Robert

>females in the alley screaming for help

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>Female in the alley screaming for help
>Caller can hear a male arguing with her

One of these days could we change it up a little and maybe do like a Baltimore PD Scanner thread or something? I'd start my own but it wond be fun unless CPD old fags come along.

>>126536412
that pic gave me eye cancer

>>126535905
>>126536282
>>126536412

Does "dispatch doesn't know what to do" count when shaniqua yelled at everyone for not using numbers?

>>126536520
none of the other cities are anywhere near as active on the scanner. it would be alot of dead air for most of the night.

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>>126536514

>we got an entrance to the rear, female on back porch screaming

>Female on a back porch screaming

Oh fugg

char-layyy

>>126536562
nope

>>126536562
no it's more when a caller is having such an oddball request that dispatch is just "Fuck it idon't know what you wanna do with this call"

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>>126536562
That's a bit of a reach anon. It sounded like she knew exactly what to do, and was telling Robert to do it. kek.

>>126536732
Oh snap, I haven't seen that pic since last season

>>126535306
oh my god please tell me there's porn of this chick

>>126536795

>female screaming for help
>female on porch screaming for help
>male screaming for help
lotta screamers right now

haven't had a chance to do this this month

feels pretty great

KEK that noise robert made
check yo keys baka

AROO?

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>>126536781
>>126536732
About the last time I was in these threads.

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OPEN KEY
>*Robert making goofy ass noises*

>garfield
>california green line suspicious car

gl on getting that solved

>>126536732
Looks familiar. What is that symbol

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>>126536986
Welcome back, m8. We've had a pretty good run this year. Some real characters, actually.

>>126536986
We had a bipolar schizo that went by the name Nighthawk way way back when the threads started back up.

>his friend is cutting herself

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>>126537049
Pic related. Was a tv show.

>Her friend is cutting herself
Another suicide attempt.

Cassidy the cutter
threatening suicide
evening Roberts

>she's cutting herself *sigh* i guess a well being or suicide checkup

top kek

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got a cutter

Attention Whore call

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>>126537049

>going to the west side for a domestic call

nope

>Pissed off nigga tryna fight the caller, now he's trying to break into the neighbors house
HE GON CRAZY!

Fight in a moving vehicle lmao

>>126537445
Nigs gonna nig

>>126537503
a universal constant

>Another lady trapped in a train station
How many are hiding in there now?

>thrift store alarms

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>alarms going off at the family church store

>>126537335
Gonna need a CIT Robert specializing in bitches who ain't gonna do shit

Roberts got screaming niqqas and dead motherfuckers laying on horns, he does not have time for this

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>>126537677
>>126537668
Now this is Top-Shelf cooning right here.

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>>126537724
lmao.

>>126537677
Fucking kek that pic

>north and ashland

finally some drunken white crime

remember the chicago niggers celebrating
obama lol fucking niggers are at least 98.2% stupid.

>>126537668
it's funny. the thrift store near me has all the nigger shit behind the counter. like the expensive FUBU shit and gucci purses.

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is this the bad OC hour?

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>The fifteent niqqa knocking on the door

>Been doing it for 5 days

>TV turned up, person has a weapon

Wat? Did I miss something there? None of that is making sense.

>>126537905
roll in there and buy it just to cut it up in front of them.

>>126537816
>all that jagged text
lmao

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>loud tv
>neighbor bangs on door for 5 days becuase of tv loudness
>now has weapon
..i think

>>126533785
420

blaze it

>>126537905
all of them do. they still only charge like 4 dollars but meanwhile I can buy an 80 dollar button up for $1 and be in and out while they barter for 5 hours.

>can't figure out if it's his sister or girlfriend

wat

>his sister girlfriend

>not sure if it's his sister or his girlfriend
>he can't decide

Dammit, caller.

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>>126537968
if you want it to be, anon

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Alright Roberts, It's off to bed for me. Keep the scanner in check!

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>>126538083
Oh, ok. That makes sense now. Oh boy!

>>126538107
Same here. i got tons of super nice dress shirts and pants for nothing while they bitch about not being able to try on the pea green and gold velvet jumpsuit behind the counter.

>>126538154
Have comfy sleeps, Robert.

>just ring it and tell her to give it back

>>126538288
Meant for
>>126538221

ATM alarm
communication failure
nogs took the ATM.

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>steals iphone
>gets call from /cpd/

>keeps calling the police on her for no reason
>is intoxicated

>her husband keeps calling the police on her for no reason

>>126538495
I wonder if they needed more or less than they required when they stole that entire telephone pole plus wiring

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>>126538221
>>126538228

>>126538575
>>126538586

What the fuck does the cop even do in that situation?

>>126538600
lmao i remember that call. fuckers took a whole pole

>>126538586
Is this the same niqqa that kept threatening his wife with a big knife a couple nights ago because she wouldn't make dinner? I hope so

>begging for police
give it to her robert, she needs it

>na'i'mean 2nd floor

what did he mean by that?

>803 north carloff, woman begging for the police

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>>126538674
Calls and says pic related

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>>126538716
kek

>>126538716
>>126538731
HOT.

>>126538693
I hope its some old cantankerous Redd Foxx looking nigga.

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>wendy's parking lot

>loud music in wendy's parking lot

okay that's the most asinine of the night.

So I'm guessing that "handle accordingly" means "feel free to blow it off."

>>126538674
Either arrest or fine him for wasting police resources. Unless the wife is actually calling in a false report saying her husband is calling in false reports in which case I have no idea

>>126533785
beautiful

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>>126538823
checked. still no fuckin closer to a bingo tho

>>126538674
Mace both of them and let God sort it out?

Took a nap, why was Roberts partner taken to the hospital?

>>126538993

Yeah, me too. That's why I wouldn't last long as a cop.

>hoooonk

>>126533785
WE

1:30 AM AND WE HAVE THE FIRST MALE CAUCASIAN OF THE NIGHT and of course he's a victim outside of a hospital

>>126539096
WUZ

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>male asian bleeding from his ear, nothing further

>>126539229

Top kek

>>126539229
Y I BREEDING FROMA EAH, SENPAI?

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>>126539370
>>126539273
believe it or not, mr yunioshit is played by this man

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It is eerily calm at the moment. I'm not sure what to do or how to feel when someone isn't actively being assaulted.

>>126539654
impossibiru, yet holy crap it is him.

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>>126539667
weather is keeping male black in check tonight. honestly i'm glad to hear a slow night. give Robert a bit of a breather every now and then.

>>126539812

They're cooning internally.

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>>126539812
>give Robert a bit of a breather every now and then.
You're right, anon. Robert deserves the occasional filler episode. I hope he gets coffee, and sits on his ass in a comfy warm squadcar tonight. Maybe listen to the radio and play some pinball.

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>>126539748

>altercation with 15 y/o son and wants him removed

>wants 15 year old son removed from house

Looks like we got a libtard in the street

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>another screamer

2114 w belmont male on the street screaming

that's a block from my house

my phone's dead though

>>126540028
>Nigga tried to pass a fake bill to a cashier
>She refused it
>He chimped out and smashed up the store
Ahhh, coonery. That's the Chicago I know.

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>>126540083

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>irate
>smashing

>>126540126
fuck's sake anon ESCAPE
save yourself

>shots fired, domestic battery
here we go lads

>10 shots heard

>>126540225
male blacks everywhere man

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>TEN
>TEN SHOTS FIRED
>AH AH AH

>>126540126
this is the one block west of where i heard a woman screaming in an SUV like 3 hours ago

female crying in an alley. key celine dion song

>>126540358
there's a shitty bar/concert venue there.

judging from the crowd it's a crappy pop-punk band with a bunch of idiots as fans

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>>126540483

>stolen 4 door Maserati

I wonder how long before those niggers crash it

>>126540604
>hispanic man harassing people as they come out

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>Be male hispanic with a manpurse
>Get kicked out of "the location"
>Make a fuss out front and hassle strangers
>Get the cops called on you for a complimentary beating

>>126540225

This is top tier niggerdom.

>daughter unresponsive

Looks like she got ruffied

>woman calling herself albanista
>albanista

what

>>126540915
sharkisha's cousin

lol like i'd donate to some faggot cops

>>126540915
>>126540981
Latrine's oldest. Shawt Pookie be her daddy. He in count, up on petty theft charges.

I wonder what all of the black chicks that work for this think about everything. I'd imagine they're alcoholics who keep their mouth shut and go get white dick on the northside in their freetime.

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>>126541072
lmao.

>>126541161
they are probably all married to white guys living in a white neighborhood. having a great time gardening and cooking and making sure their kids are top notch

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>>126541161
they dont go for dem hood nikkas

Male Stabbed!!
dispatch sounded like a smooth jazz radio DJ.

>>126541250
>Caller says a man is rolling around on the ground
>Says hes been stabbed
Excellent.

>male has been stabbed

>caller says she doesnt know how

>friend's boyfriend has threatened her with a gun

>>126541425
>and here's dj dindu with his latest hit "man stabbed"

>>126541499
NUFFIN PERSONNEL, LIL NIQQA STICK STICK STICK!

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Marcellus is missing.....i think i found him

>another call for the meatwagon

>>126541428
stop drop and roll only works for fire dumbass nog.

>>126541738
Ironically, this is also when they are most likely to run off screaming in a straight line. Kek.

>>126541714
and another one, thats five total i have heard

>>126541714
too much to drink

oh shit they're coming for us.

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its too quiet

>>126542083
>We have nothing to lose but
>about 75 pounds or so

>something something "buttercup"
>butter cup confirmed

what did they mean by this?

>>126542172
>>126542083
>WE HAVE NOTHING
>TO LOSE BUT
>OUR CHINS

>>126542172
kek, thats what happens when slavery. the stress causes weight gain

>8 shots were heard
By who? WHO??

>>126542461
likely by anonymous

man drivin too damn slow

this thread sucks

>>126542594
don't be sad

sexy dispatch is on now.nice!!! *unzips dick*

>>126542665
i get sad over bad OC ITT

>>126542665
I'm going to give it until 3, but if the cooning doesn't pick back up I'll call it a night. I'm pretty comfy already from earlier. My sleeps will be good.

>>126542777

intoxicated male has potential.

>>126542777
the coonery tends to fall off around here until about 5 am. then the early morning masturbators show up and also they find a bunch of dead folk from the night before

Male Refusing to leave! We have a showdown! A male who REFUSES to leave vs The Law!

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>>126542844
>>126542860
I haven't seen this episode, bit I bet the law wins this contest.

>>126542860

>early morning masturbators

this is common?

when Robert is asked to call the desk, is that for more details or for fuckin up. dispatch sounds like an angry teacher sometimes

>>126543250
Very. Park bench restaurants tow trucks you name it.

>Hisapnic
>Camaro

>>126543250
kinda like the oc makers ITT

>>126543250
oh yea. the cooks have to get their morning wood worked out to start the day off.

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>>126543282
I wouldn't be surprised if that is the case at times. Considering the shit they say over-air unencrypted, what they hell do tey need to say on a secure channel?

>>126543296
the amount of tow truck wankers are disturbing.

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21st century Twin Peaks ok, entertaining

not exactly Twin Peaks

but is Twin Peaks entertaining in 21st century? Maybe I just prefer the 20th century

>>126543554
hello early morning masturbator

>>126543506
lovin' that gif

>>126543282
likely it's to clarify some paper work or some other beaurocratic BS. they didnt check the right box or something isnt written clearly bla bla bla.

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>>126543552
If I ever end up vising Chicago, I'm taking a rental. Once a wrecker takes possession of it, I don't want it back.

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>>126543720
semen....semen everywhere

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>>126543677
Cheers, m8.

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>>126543506
>when you lose control of your life and you're playing drinking games with chicago pd scanners

>>126543794
cheers bro. same here

>>126543772
Really. how many tow-truck fappers are we going to hear about? Three is already too many. I want to believe it's the same dude, but it can't be.

>>126543772

Post more Chuck Tingle

>>126543845
It wasn't a thing last year. this year the tow truck tugging has gone on an uptick.

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tell you what though, is blueberry pancake time like 1999

fuc nigr kek lulz faggots

>>126543794
Damn, son. How far below the label is the level of that Johnnie Walker?

>(((heidelberg)))

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>Anon says a minimart employee is seling cigarettes to children

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>>126543948
bout halfway through the bottle

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>>126543886

>>126544107
>bout halfway through the bottle
>>126544107
gonna need bigger bottle

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>>126544107
Remember to hydrate, ok anon? You need to not die before the 4th of July.

>>126544240
lel. is chuck tingle gainfully employed?

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>>126544245
every weekend i start off with a bottle of this for robert hours.

>>126544309
actually yes. his books sell fairly well on amazon. there was an interview with him. he makes enough to live decent

Yeah, i probably sent you in the opposite direction. lol!

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>>126544309
just to keep ontopic since it is pol

>>126544369
That's fantastic. I thought those were 4chan memes from some obscure board I don't visit (Like /lit/) for the longest time. That it's real and he's flush from writing fagmeme wankbooks is lulzy as fuck

>>126533785
Been here for years and holy shit can't believe I've never clicked on these threads before, this is fuckin hilarious

>he doesn't want the ambulance
>his condition is declining rapidly

F

>>126544507
the guy is pretty funny. probably super red pilled and just making loot off of an opportunity to cash in on idiots.
http://observer.com/2015/02/meet-dr-chuck-tingle-the-author-behind-amazons-most-absurd-gay-erotica/

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>>126544583
I just heard that. Holy shit, the number of people who get horribly wounded and tell EMS to fuck off is ridiculous.

>>126544544
Cheerse, m8. Tonight is slow as fuck too. when the weather improves, these threads get pretty comfy.

>>126544506
>pounded by politics
wowjust wow

>>126544705

There's going to be some proper coonery for memorial day.

>>126544695
I only could read the blurb under the "fuck you and your adblocker, senpai" message, andI'm on the verge of pissing myself.

Should I bake, or should we just ride this thread to page ten and call it?

>>126544695
he sounds like a (((borat)))-tier shitlord

>>126544369
>actually yes. his books sell fairly well on amazon. there was an interview with him. he makes enough to live decent
someone wanna buy my new bronie vampire real life porno novel

>>126544322
>every weekend i start off with a bottle of this for robert hours

is that good? I've become a white liquor drinker (alcoholic) but im always curious about an actual bourbon I haven't have

what the fuck man apparently 5chan doesn't even want to let me post, i realize i'm basically useless but what the fuck has been going on tonight that they make it that must more difficult to post

>>126544926
either way he is making money. good for him

>>126544920
>Should I bake, or should we just ride this thread to page ten and call it?
if you're up keep baking while people are posting, better than waking up 3/4 faced then realize it's not because of post count, but everyone is asleep

>>126544959
if you like real hard whiskey, like the kind that punches your soul. you would like it. it's harsh as shit. some old school 1800's recipe. I like it because it reminds me that i'm drinking literal poison

>>126545099
10-4. Stand by for fresh bread.

>>126544959
fellow alcoholic here too.

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tune in here when temps top 100, i live in detroit and am telling ya nigs go nuts in the heat.

>>126545239
>>126545239
>>126545239
>>126545239

BREAD IS BAKED

>>126545239
>>126545239
>>126545239
>>126545239

HOT AND FRESH

>>126545239
>>126545239
>>126545239
>>126545239

LIKE CHUCK TINGLE GETTING POUNDED BY MUMMY KING KONG

>>126544959
just shove it onto amazon and someone will buy it. chuck tingle has said the main way to get sales is just be prolific. churn out as much nonsense as possible and you can make loot.

>>126545289
4th of July was insane.

>>126542083
>angry
>*fat
>black
>girl?