Ever been in a fight?

>>126178389
Hit a guy in the face during a fight. He died. Totally unintended, but I'm still on house arrest.

>>126178389

Lost both times. Prompted me to start working out more

>>126180810

This. Nothing more redpilling and motivating then getting your ass beat

>>126178389
10 year LEO and martial artist here.

Yeah, a few. My best advice to anyone in a fight, quick rapid strikes. Don't be defensive.
And unless you are CERTAIN it's a one on one, don't lock up with your opponent

>>126178389
Once in school, but kinda lost it.
Once against my father, when we both were drunk as fuck.

>>126181093
You're German, you're ALWAYS drunk.
I'm of german descent, I'm qualified to make that joke

>>126178389
>get wasted
>get into fight with some guy for somehow insulting his gf
>he hits me i hit back and slam him to the ground
>get hit from nowhere by at least 3 guys
>decide to stay away from liquor and unnecessary fights
never does you any good
that beeing cant hurt to be prepared for it (pick any martial arts)

>>126178389

As an educated Bavarian lefty from a good family, I use my words, not my fists.

>>126181079

Depends on the context. If you are certain it's a one on one, "quick rapid strikes" are not the way to go. Most fights end because one guy is completely gassed. I've won fights by just getting hit a bunch and tiring the other guy out, at which point you just hit him in the stomach. Context is everything, unless you can guarantee a fight will end in 30 seconds, it'll probably last 5 mins+

>>126178389
If you aren't in the ring, just punch them in the dick.

Yes, my record is 7-4 for man on man fights. Been in some group brawls and bar room brawls too.

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>>126181536

Punched a few people in high school that were looking for a fight, hit them hard enough that they didn't want to keep engaging. All I wanted was a decent brawl ;_;

>>126178389
I think a fight once every few years keeps you feeling young, alert, if not, do strength training or learn self defense

stay safe bros

>>126178389
Once, in college outside of a bar.
Random guy asks me for a cigarette and I give him one.
Start walking away and he runs up and shoves me from behind. I turn around and start to say "what the fuck?" and he punches me right in the jaw.
I grab him and shoving him backwards and his friends intervene, saying "he's drunk, he's drunk, he just wants to fight, don't do it."
They whisked him away and that was it.
Still don't know what the guy's deal was

>>126178389
when i first moved to my old city in the 3rd grade, on the first day, i was sitting at my lunch table with my new nerd friend.
the lunch room was set as rows of long tables.
so here i am, chit chatting, and this manlet white trash kid sitting behind me tapped on my shoulder, i turn around, and POW. sucker punch to the eye, turned it black.
i had to walk around school with a black eye for days.

fast forward to 5th grade: 1995. same seating position in the class room. he behind me, backs facing each other.
I don't remember what I said but I still remember what he did to me 2 years before.
So I grabbed the back of his chair while he wasn't looking and pulled it down toward the ground as hard as I could. I still remember the thump his head made as it hit the hard tile floor.
fast forward in a new post - i don't want to make a wall of text

>>126178389

I do MMA and have sparred hard, but since I started training no, the only real fight I've been in was in high school and we both fought to a stalemate.

I spent 22 months in jail for nearly killing a 17 year old black kid that him and his friend tried to jump me. I got a reduced sentence because there were witnesses to them actually attacking me, but the judge ruled I used "excessive force" because his ribs were broken and I stomped his head and he is now blind and deaf in one ear...I probably would have gotten away with it if his friend hadn't ran away and claimed I pulled a gun, which I did not...which his lawyer blew up in court and made a strawman out of.

>>126180810

The important thing is that you fought.

Is getting in a fight rare in other countries?

or is /pol/ mostly just shut-ins?

>>126182105
Damn, dude.
Where'd you do your time at?

>>126182105
good job friend

>>126178389
Arab/hispanic,, last fight i had three years back bitch slapped a paki for interfering with an argument i had with my girl at the time. craziest shit, you had to see the look in his eyes, the stun hurt look... anyways he pulled a knife on me and i answer back baching his jaw with the #4 ball... "we were playing pool at the time"
FYI never get close to someone in a potential fight unless you're ready to hit or get hit.

>>126181294
You rather are from reddit descent

At least 5.

>>126182208

WMCC in Cameron, MO

I've only been in one fight in my life. I'm 5'11'' 185 And the kid I fought was a little stockier, maybe just under 200. We both got each other pretty good, that you couldn't really call either one of us the winner.

I got a good few jabs on him because I'm pretty quick, but he tagged me a few times too because he had longer than average arms. We were both fairly drunk too, we were at a bar and he asked me what I was looking at. I'm not that tough but I'm not a sissy cuck so I told him that I was looking at his ugly mug. We took it outside and what happened, happened.

Only advice I have is to keep your hands up at all times, and if you think you're about to go into a headlock, take a hand and cup your ear, so if you go into a headlock, your arms is in their too creating space so you don't pass the fuck out.

>>126182105
Were they about your size or were you bigger?

Few, they tend to last a lot shorter then you think

An opponent is like a fire. Fuel oxygen and heat are replaced by vision balance and breathing. Take away any 2 of the 3 and the fire ceases to exist. Worked as a bouncer for 4 years. Don't let things get to "fight" levels. If you are fighting as opposed to neutralizing a person/situation, you have already lost. Control the situation and control the person. Hit first hit hard and keep your chin tucked low.

>>126182382
Did this happen in St Louis by any chance? It's where I live now and it's a crime infested shithole... got robbed at gunpoint right outside Lumiere Casino.
What's the prison population like there?

>>126181977
cont...
9th grade, one of his friends brought a walkman to class and i told the teacher. she took it away from him and told him he'd give it back at the end of the school year.
the white trash kid (turned into a wigger at this point) was walking home with the kid who had his walkman taken away. they followed me home.
"yo my man" he says.
i know shit's about to go down. i had a backpack with 2 full cans of soda.
comes up to me and shoves me.
"you owe my friend a new walkman".
gets in my face and shoves me again. i remove my backpack full of books and soda cans and beat the living shit out of him with it so hard that the cans bursted.
no one was around. they hobbled away and i walked home.
they never talked to me for the rest of the school year.
mattter of fact, the wigger got sent to juvi. idk why

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>junkie high on meth runs up behind me grabs my face and trys to dig his thumb into my eye socket
>im 10x as fit as he is
>grab his arm off my face and judo throw him into the concrete,
>just like pic related
>back of his head smacks the ground really hard
>his eyes roll back into his head and his body becomes stiff like a mannequin
>ohfuckjustmurderedsomeone.jepg
>kinda worried and start walking away fast
>look behind me and see he got up and is staggering away
>heard from his friend he was in the hospital for two days with a concussion
>i only got a black eye

>be me
>be 16 in highschool
>fucking retard jumps on me for no reason, probably just to show off
>break his shoulder (twisted his arm and slammed him against the ground with my knee on his back)
>suspended for 3 weeks
>mfw

>>126181585
>Most fights end because one guy is completely gassed.
This can't be stressed enough. Don't neglect your cardio lads!

>>126182410

Depends what specific position they're head locking you from, but it's usually a good opportunity to punch them repeatedly in the balls.

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>>126178389
Be me, today
>Gets in heated conversation with GF
>Goes back to home
>In Delhi Metro Subway train
>Jampackedasfuck.jpg
>Luckily got a corner seat.
>heckyeah.png
Next station
>A disabled guy enters
>Missing one complete arm from shoulder.
>Tells me to leave seat because he's disabled
>Fuckno.jpg
>I tell him it's not PH seat.
>He insists and argues
>I tell him to go to PH/Old people seat.
>He insists rudely wanting to sit only in this seat(pic related)
>Me tells him to fuck off
>AngryAFPepe.jpg
>People stare on me cuz other dude is fuckin crippled.
>Continue to argue.
>Me gets irritated.
>Next station comes
>Chimps out and smashed him in the face with power over 9000
>Dude gets down.
>Me swoosh away as fast as I can.

mfw I'm gonna go jail if he complains.

>>126178389
Story of 99% of my fights:
> Run away

the other 1%:
> Throw the other guy on the ground
> Run away

I'm not really into the whole fisty cuffs thing, there was just one time I actually stood and fought, it was a couple black kids (skinny as twigs) who wanted to mug me with threats of violence, I threw one on the ground while the other was trying to punch my face. I then grappled and choked out the one punching me while the other screamed for me to stop - I guess they ended up just being kids pretending to be punks pretending to be tough. It was sad, most of all.

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>>126178389
I grew up in a small village, in most villages was a depot in with were organised dances. Basically they was always ended with a literal tribal fighting between villages.
I still remember runing drunk thru forest at night when my "tribe" lost.
Come to think of it, that sound little barbaric now, but usually no one was killed

>>126182606
>also me
>couple of months ago
>first amateur muay thai fight
>6'2 140 lbs
>other guy is a manlet
>win by TKO (retirmenet after rib injury caused by knees to the body)
>mfw didn't get suspended this time :^)

>>126182606
from the front?

Getting in fights is for niggers.

>>126182512

Yes, it did. South St.Louis near Cherokee.

>>126182421

They were about my size, I had probably 20lbs on them maybe.

>>126182762
>6'2
>140 lbs
you are wayyyy underweight.
do you have aids or something?
you're supposed to be 180. that's the proper BMI for that height

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>>126178389
Been in a few.
>7th grade: beat the shit out of some bully in locker room
>8th grade: fought with friend and lost
>11th grade: fought metalhead at hardcore show
>last year: leftist antifaggot sucker punched me after I called him out for PC shit at a punk show. Said I wasn't going to fight but he threw a couple more punches. We go out to street and I punch him in the nose. He starts crying and literally runs away.

>>126178389
Once when I was blind drunk I got beat to the ground and pounded by some twink half my size for trying to finger his gf right in front of him lol. That's the only time I've been in an actual fight and even though I obviously lost it gave me an opportunity to reflect and so now I think I'd know how to respond next time it happened.

>>/b/

>>126182703
jail may be strange for you, i hear they actually have toilets in them

>>126182993
>finger his gf right in front of him
kek'd

>>126178389
Been in a lot of drunken fights, but never been in one sober.

As to who usually wins, the joke answer is the right one. The wall wins. That's who gets the best blows.

>>126178389
https://discord.gg/wjQNNV

>>126178389
I fought your mom for the last donut.

>>126178389

No, its degenerate nigger behaviour.

>>126181851
maybe he just really hated homosexuals.

>>126182788
if you mean the first fight no i twisted it behind his back

if you mean the second (technically not second but first legit amat), during clinch. i fucked him because i was taller

>>126183264
>No, its degenerate nigger behaviour.

Oh, and using the n-word isn't?

Interesting.

>>126182710

De-escalation or disengagement are usually the best course of action, you should only fight if you're cornered or protecting someone you care about. Even a superior fighter can be beaten by chance.

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>>126183321
>reddit spacing
>n-word

>be me
>be armed bouncer, colorado springs
>group of guys we threw out starting shit with dumb college kid
>the aggressive one was 250+lbs of idiot farm muscle
>he grabs college boy and choke locks him
>deploy OC to no effect
>deploy d cell maglite to shoulders and collarbone
>attack is super effective
>big dumb farmboy goes to hospital with broken forearm and collarbone.
>college kid scared shitless and goes home
>subpeona time
>cameras back up me and my co worker
>farmboy catches probation

And I didn't have to shoot anyone that time. Good times.

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i knocked out niggers when i was a kid in school for being anti white i also was fucking black girls

>>126183471
how's your leg doing

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I've been in at least 31 fist fights.

I'm a 5'9, 120 lb manlet so people always fucked with me a lot as a kid until I started swinging on anyone who talked shit. I've gotten exceedingly good at it over the years and now have a reputation as somebody not to fuck with.

>>126182762
>6'2 140 lbs

>>126178389
Been in quite a few in different situations.

Last major one I got into was in Austria. Was out at a bar in Vienna and some 5'7 asylum seeker (I'm 6'4) comes up to me starts saying shit in Arabic all angry.

I tell him I speak English and a little German. He says in English that I'm in his spot. I tell him to fuck off back to the Middle East unless he wants to start something (I was 5 or 6 beers in at this point).

Anyway he says if I want to take it outside and I agree. I tell him we can go around the corner away from the bouncers.

We get around and he tries to sucker punch me but I saw out of the corner of my eye and got out the way.

I punched him with a left cross and a straight right to the nose (didn't even tuck his chin the retard) and as he bends over and grabbed his face (I probably broke his nose blood everywhere) I threw him though the nearest store window and ran like fuck as the alarm went off.

I was drunk af at this point and I couldn't stop giggling all the way back to the hotel.

>>126183422
This guy gets it. If you are in a fight, your other, better options went to shit.

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>>126183432

I guess if anyone knows where Reddit is, it's Fat Donny.

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Won a couple, lost a couple more (You take a beating on principle, as I see it), bluffed my way out of countless others.

>mfw being a skinhead manlet with crazy eyes actually has an upside..

>>126182703
You're a five star cunt. I hope you do go to jail and I hope the raping you will undoubtedly receive gives you bowel cancer.

>>126178389
I had a dude push my sister. I swung and glanced his cheek and he ran away. I felt cool for a minute, and the police came and told me I could go.

We were in our 20s at the time, and my sis deserved the push. But i had to do something.

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>>126181536
>bavarian lefty

>>126178389
Had my first fight since training MMA a few months ago and it was glorious. I was at the bar (not drinking, I was driving the lads around and just wanted to play some pool) and some asshole kept calling me a nigger cause I had my hat on backwards. Well he put his hands on our pool table and got in our faces and I hit him with a two piece. didn't knock him out but he crumbled and curled up into a ball. I wanted a real fight desu but that was enough for me in the moment. I was just trying to have a good time with the boys

>>126178389
I boxed in college and worked as a bouncer at Razzoo's in New Orleans during summers. Tip: never mess with an old bouncer, especially if he looks small. They are mean and will fuck you up.

Story: Guy came in obviously high on something and tried to tear a toilet out of the floor, we all piled on him and, in the process, his shirt got torn off. He had been shot at some point before coming in and had sealed the bullet hole with duct tape.

>>126183444
Where at in springs? I've seen some bouncers fuck people up in a few bars and clubs up there.

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>>126183633
>terrible comeback
lurk more before you post on this board faggot

>>126178389
I have been in a few. I always went for hitting them in the face or getting close to throw my opponents into the ground. I am 1.90 meter and weight 90kg so I have a natrual advantage when getting close in a fight and know some simple techniques there. However if I would fight someone who has been in kickboxing a few years I would get in serious trouble.
My "advice" for people is just make use of what you are good at and fight by your advantages.

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>>126181536
>educated Bavarian

>>126178389
I'm a trained Navy Seel, so yeah I've been in a few. It's never ended well for the guy though...

>>126183978
>triggered because his chubby hero turns out to be a nationalist globalist redditor

lmao

>>126184035
>I'm a trained Navy Seel

How many penises have you seen

Also,
>seel

lmao

>>126183972
Worked for Cowboys, the mansion, copperhead, and thirsty parrot. Worked a couple of shit little bars too.

>>126183573
>31 fights

You must be an absolute prick. Well, most /pol/ regulars are it seems.

>>126178389
I was at a bar durring a old west style hoe down. Two people got into it and it was like WWI broke out, everyone used it as an excuse to fight each other.

I was across the room and got sucker punched by some drunk asshole. Chipped my bottom front teeth, I smashed a bottle on his head and started boot stomping this faggot. After he gave up I noticed the fighting was still out of hamd so used what was left of the bottle to ward off further attacks as I made my escape.

Only reason I could think of for this happening is the bar was unusually lacking women that night and people became primal when a group of shawties walked in.

At least 6 police cars showed up, a fire truck and three ambulances. I apparently sent a guy to the hospital.

>>126178389
What does this have to do with politics? Oh wait I forgot this board is utter shit, carry on.

>ITT: Things that didn't happen

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>>126182510
This guy gets it. Owned and worked in clubs for a good few years in the 90's and 0's and every good doorman I know would not scuffle with anybody crashing the door. It was hit to the head and knock them out if it got that to that point.
Funny enough the most insane and effective fuckers were years deep into systema, which is supposed to be bullshit but didn't look like it to me when what looked like hordes of ravaging orcs flew magically into walls and then were still.

>>126183581
fast metabolism :^)

>>126178389

Yes many times never came to close to losing although the scrappiest people are the short ones.

>>126181851
I had a work associate that would do the same shit. He'd get blackout drunk and start a fistfight with anyone that would engage him. He was a huge dude, but he'd get so drunk he usually got his ass beat. He wouldn't even remember unless we told him.

Fucking weird, he was usually a pretty nice guy. Alcohol is degenerate.

>>126184101
>terrible comeback #2
And they get even worse. What are you trying to do here?

>7'13"
>463lbs, 2% body fat
>Fight guy at bar
>First punch takes his head clean off his shoulders
>I win the fight
>Raging hard-on now
>Pull my pants off exposing my 15 inch cock that looks like stacked coffee cans
>Fuck the neckhole where his head used to be
>Nobody ever fucks with me again

>>126184035

Seel. Reely?

>>126178389
>Nuremberg 01/01/2007 03:00
>Wasted drunk outside a bar
>My friend is making out with a German woman
>Her friends hate Americans
>They won’t stop harassing him
>I step in
>Some woman threatens to kill my friend
>I threaten to kill her and poke her in the forehead with my index finger.
>She gets her boyfriend from inside the bar
>He is screaming something about being in the German army and fuck America
>I replied with “fuck you”
>Before I knew it, I was on the ground.
>I stood up with blood streaming down my face and my friend beating the shit out of the German.
>I watch for a little bit
>My friend looks up and says “Wow that’s really bad! Your whole eyebrow is split open!”
>3 stiches to close the X shaped gash.
>Women love it.
>Met my wife 2 weeks later
>Totally worth it

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Yes, a few times. Last one I was in 2 years ago I broke my finger. One in highschool because some kid kneed me in the back so I turned around and punched him. One in a restaurant parking lot because some dude wouldnt stop hitting on my gf at the time. A couple at a drive bar where I got my as kicked.

>>126183873
>Tip: never mess with an old bouncer, especially if he looks small. They are mean and will fuck you up.

My dad is an ex bouncer and around 5'8 as a guess. He's tough as shit, the type of person everyone respects locally.

>>126178389

I stabbed some bullies in grade school, including a nigglet who went on to rape an actual child later in life (he was like 19 and she was 7 IIRC).

I cut that shit out once I turned 18 because going to jail is for niggers.

I got into loads of fights at school. My main strength was to either allow them to be over confident and talk shit till they got in range. Then grab their shirt and drive my head into their nose/mouth. If that wasn't an option and they started throwing haymakers, I would basically do anything to win. Mostly, I would rugby tackle them to the ground and pummle them (this was before I had even heard of UFC/ground and pound).

Most fights at schools are a war of attrition; whoever has had enough first, looses.

>>126184348
I trained VAJ for a while, past that all I've learned is PPCT. It works. Wish I could find a gym with Systema in my area.

>>126184160
I saw a bouncer choke out an army beaner at copperhead a few years ago. He never stood a chance but he was drunk and talking shit, then made the mistake of swinging wildly on the bouncer. More fun watching that than hanging out at the bar.

>>126183321
Why the fuck are you using 'n-word' instead of 'nigger'? You're a German, not an American.
Turbocuck.

There's no reason to fight unless you have to. If you really want to be about that life get into it as a sport and make some money/get healthy.

>>126178389
Yeah but when I was younger
Always throw the first punch,aim for the jaw

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>>126182974
>7th grade: boy vs me, win fight because broke kid's nose
>second fight was against kid who kicked my saxophone on its side, shoved me and beat him up in front of his nigger friends who were shocked as hell by how vicious I beat him.
>8th grade: beat the holy shit out of a bully who shoved me for defending a girl he was bullying
>9th grade: several fights, some wins some losses
>10th grade: beat the shit out of a freshman cocky long-time bully after football practice, he's 6'1" 222 lbs, I'm 5'7, 125 lbs. Bully quits, never fucked with again (coaches knew and were pleased I did so)
>Concert, 2014: Man punches me in side of face. Have broken teeth. He attempts to rob me outside. Police report and eye witnesses say I got up, spat blood and beat him Kenshiro-style. He was laid up in hospital for 2 months. Dont remember incident, because of concussion.

>>126178389
Yeah, work for the CIA and was extracting this doctor and a masked mercenary from some shithole country. Crashed my plane, but he was a big guy. For me.

>>126184408
>Alcohol is degenerate
No, he is. People reveal their true selves when they're drunk. Horrible drunks are just shit people.

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>>126178389
when the rapefugees came over the austrian border
a few of them screamed in their Mutant gibberish at my mother when they walked near our farm
hit one in the face with a shovel
best day ever

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>edgy school teen years
>group of zerg muzzies running around park
>cue shout with derogatory mudslime insults due to autism
>zerg focuses on me and begins their attack
>time stops
>DYNASTY WARRIORS MODE
>1v20
>im spinning 'n shit and they can't hit me due to them being so packed together
>SPIN 2 WIN
>they continously punch and kick me but my spinning force grants me invincibility to physical attacks
>one of my random spin attacks connects to someones face
>group disperses
>20 of them claim I attacked them alone
>get expelled for a month

got more in the bag but that was probably my most highlighted one, this eventually got me competing into pro muay thai/mma (4-0-1, shit's pretty hard)

>>126184833
Shit bro. What did the bouncer look like? Not kidding I know all of the staff there. More than one "army beaner" has gone night night at copperhead.

>>126185003
Was it painful?

>>126178389
Been in 3 actual fights. Probably 6 or so BS fake-fights though with people mostly intimidating each other with a few random punches thrown in, mostly in groups.

In a real deal 1 on 1, whoever lands the first punch usually "wins". In my few experiences, I just kept hitting till the other person backed down, didn't even give them the opportunity to get their bearings. That worked. Fights like this don't last longer than like 30 seconds at most.

Got sucker punched a few times in the back of the head by assholes. Not counting that BS.

My advice, avoid them. And don't ever get involved in group fights unless you enjoy getting sucker punched in the head. And don't try and block wild hooks or anything unless you're like an expert in MA. Just duck/dodge around flailing arms.

>>126184917

Only uneducated people use derogatory terms. Seeing how I'm not a rural and suburban r-tard, I shall refrain from doing so.

>>126185144
For me.

>>126184641

What is it with brits and headbutts? Nobody does thst shit here. Is it a product of pub culture?

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>>126178389

Yes, a much bigger guy shoved me in front of my girlfriend and sister so I headbutted him and shoved him back.

A big ginger athlete, he looked about 6'2, I'm 5'8 and 150 pounds.

It was a good hit too, he was basically too afraid to do anything after that, he turned beat red, spewed some empty threats and left.

>>126184191
Most of them were in high school. I got my ass kicked the first 10 or so but after awhile I actually had more experience than the jocks and taking hits didn't really stun or shock me anymore so I started winning. Nobody wanted to be the guy to get their ass kicked in class by the nerdy kid so at the end there I was punking out guys twice my size.

I firmly believe learning to take hits is the most under rated aspect of fighting. I've won fights I was getting rekt in simply by endurance.

>>126182737
This sounds so brutal and the dude in that pic looks like mickey mouse

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>>126178389
I was in prison for 2 years. Got in a fight with a piece of shit nigger who basically wanted to bitch me and take my commissary for literally no reason other than he's bigger than me and you know... he's a nigger.

Anyways... fight starts down by the laundry machines (the one place there are no cameras and the COs don't often watch), this guy has a good 40 pounds on me, I landed a few punches but they didn't do anything and I was basically getting my ass beat but I wasn't about to let anyone bitch me so I had to do something. Luckily the laundry man left his shitty radio down there which I picked up to throw at the niggers face which distracted him just long enough for me to tackle him and proceed to repeatedly knee him in the gut then face into submission.

I was fucked up enough that I had to stay in my cell for 4 days straight and have my cellmate bring food from chow back to me. Couldn't let the COs see me and start some lock down shit.

Prison is utterly retarded.

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>mfw posting in a data mining and leverage thread

>>126178389
Nothing serious. I once got a (light) smack, but I was too irritated that a grown man gave me a smack to do anything about it.

>>126182105
How was prison?

>into systema, which is supposed to be bullshit

Its case in most styles, almost all of them are good. Teachers are most important.
Good teacher of some fucking Kung fu of Ant Fist vs shitty Krav Maga/KickBoxer instructor. Always choose Ant guy.

>>126185868
Yea 1 post by this ID

Also I fought kangaroos, and my dress size is 8.

>>126181603
Yeah, but how can you do that to an asian "man"

>>126185437

Headbutts are an effective move, especially against bigger opponents who may be able to shrug off a punch.

You want to hit them in the face/eyesocket, don't just clonk foreheads because that will hurt you also.

>>126185989

Judo & Boxing & Ambidextrous = I always win.

>>126184522
verified

>>126182974
You should've dragged him to the ground and kept beating him and stashed his unconscious body in bushes after pissing all over him and chucking his phone off and throwing his license and cards down the gutter

>>126184522
>8'20"
>542lbs, 0,9% body fat
>A guy stares me sideways at the pub
>I react by punching him, before he can do or think about doing anything
>The sonic boom of my moving arm breaking the sound barrier alone is enough to send a shockwave that knocks to the ground all people sitting nearby, piercing their eardrums, and breaks all the glassware and windows inside the pub
>The hydrostatic shock of my fist hitting him in the chest makes his entire body explode into a fine red mist.
>My 22 inches cock instantly gets hard and rips out of my trousers.
>Notice a 10/10 miss-universe tier prefect blonde with blue eyes watching me in awe.
>Immediately start pounding her on the floor, nearly causing the equivalent a scale 7 earthquake in a 2 miles radius.
>I climax too hard, her body from the abdomen up explodes into a mush of blood and cum.
>The police arrives. They don't arrest me, but immediately take me to the President of the United States.
>The president calls a summit of all the leaders of the countries of the world.
>They unanimously declare me the leader of the human race.

Get on my level, nigger.

>>126185989
(((Krav Maga))) is always shitty - there are better options. It's just huge marketing

>Ramadi 2006
>Me and some friends walking through the neighborhood and paying house visits to the local populace
>One of the neighborhood rascals shoots and RPG at one of our vehicles a couple blocks away
>Doesn't see us on his street
>Time to deliver some pizza to this house
>Door kicked in, stack files in
>Get on the floor motherfuckers
>Zip tie party on ground floor
>Following buddy upstairs
>Kick in raggedy door at top, buddy heads on in
>The brown flash comes at my buddy, both too close to even raise rifles at each other
>They be struggling/making out, hard to tell
>Check down hallway while they dance to make sure no more brown buddies
>Turn back to brown flash and grab his head
>Dude is on meth or some for of speed most likely, abnormal strength and hostility as I punch him in the throat and head to no avail
>Time to escalate
>Jam thumb into brown flash's eye socket while gorilla gripping his head with my hands
>Berry my thumb so far into his eye socket whoever could pull it out would be crowned king arthur
>Buddy goes low and double legs him to the ground while I'm still finger banging the dude's skull
>Brown flash is singing a very loud tune at this point
>Buddy tries to separate brown flash from his AKM, but his sling is pretty damn strongly secured
>Fuck this guy
>Buddy gets up and shoulders rifle while brown flash tries to get a handle on his
>Remove thumb from eye socket and roll away
>Eye (or what's left of it) pops out of socket as I do this
>CRACK CRACK CRACK
>Brown flash is no well ventilated with eye/mush hanging out of his socket
>Buddy and I flash grins at each other
>Continue delivering pizza to the rest of the upstairs but no more customers

I ate this dudes ass and called him a faggot in gym class once

>>126178389
>Worked a fast food restaurant in college
> in the middle of a shift change
>angry customer comes up to counter and threatens to punch me
> raises fist
> grab him by the front of shirt and get ready to swing
> don't want to throw first punch and get fired
> wait for about 3 seconds. Awkward as fuck
>he pulls away
> throws some shit that was on the counter on the floor and walks out

I still have no clue what he was angry about, coworker who dealt with him before I came in said there was no problem with the transaction.

>>126185979
What kind of answer do you expect to that question?

>PRISON WAS FUCKING INCREDIBLE YOU SHOULD TRY IT

The guy you're asking probably wasn't in prison though jfyi... likely county jail for a 22 month sentence.

kys

>>126185602
Fair enough, as long as you aren't starting them.

>>126186204
I find taking your hand and jabbing your curve of your palm (thumb and index finger arch) right in to the throat of your opponent to be much more dangerous (you can kill him with enough pressure) and effective. Also a downward kick to the knees, and strike to the liver (right side midsection) and a severe knee to the jaw works wonders.

>>126181294
You're an American, not a German. Get over it. My mother is German, I was born there and lived there for half my childhood and even I know I can't really call myself German.

>>126185868

>self defense is illegal in Germany

In America if you get into a fight and nobody gets maimed/dies police don't even get involved.

Several stories, not including friendly brawls or practice rounds

First fight
>Be me, 14
>Little faggot mexican kid throws food at me
>Walk up to him and push him to the ground
>Proceed to kick repeatedly
>Faggot kid is bleeding
>Taken to principal's office, let go because I was able to convince the principal that I acted defensively
>Faggot kid gets suspended and I hear parents beat the shit out of him for it
>Faggot kid kills himself a couple years later
>mfw

Second fight
>Be me, 14 again
>Playing football during PE period
>Faggot wannabe football player takes the game too seriously
>Doesnt like that I dont give a fuck and put out little effort
>Gets in my face and yells at me
>idgaf bro, fuck off
>slaps me across the face
>instantly black out due to rage
>right hook across his face, he falls to the ground
>attempt to snap his neck while hes on the ground
>friends pull me off, teacher doesn't notice
>faggot kid goes and rats to teacher
>teacher doesn't believe it, didn't see it happen
>friends beat the shit out of faggot kid after school
>faggot kid never graduated from high school, still lives with his parents, and is basically a degenerate. I regret not killing him then.

Third fight
>Be me, 16
>First day at new high school
>No friends
>walking around the school, exploring the campus
>some faggot decides to jump on me from behind, not to attack though
>Didnt notice and I fall to the ground
>get up quickly
>Faggot tries to talk to me
>Uppercut
>He falls to the ground
>Never see the faggot again.

Fighting is actually pretty easy, because so many people are so pussified that they can't take a punch. I'm not even a big dude and I can still take down people twice my size.

>>126182737
>usually

>>126186204

Nah m8 the move is snatch lapels/lapel area push a bit then when they respond with opposite force pull them in and drop either corner of your head straight into the nose and philtrum.

>>126186576
Just curious bro. You need to chill the fuck out.

>>126186664
roll for quads

>>126181585
>I've won fights by letting the other guy throw a bunch of punches and tiring himself out
Are you sure you didn't fall asleep watching Rocky?

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Never been in a fight. Some shitskins threatened to beat me up once on my way home, I just ignored them because I was tired and they left me alone. A few weeks later one of them was trying to start shit at my school and I threw some vegetable in his face which apparently gave him a nose bleed.

I also got punched once but I don't remember why and it wasn't a very hard punch.

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>>126178389
>tfw only fight I ever had was in middle school and it was with a roastie whore.
why am i such a faggot

>>126186759
I don't chill out, I warm in. It's superior.

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>>126186662

>>126186455

Krav Maga is a joke. It's like community female rape defence class marketed to weak wobbly men.

>>126186974
You also seem to suck cocks

I've never been in a fight because I have a high enough IQ that a nigger's insults don't tempt me.

>>126186632

You are a fucking idiot.

Can't post the actual sotries as I'm short on time, but I've been in a few
[SCHOOL DAYS]]
>September 2000 (against gypsy)
>March 2001 (same gypsy)
>May 2003 (was a girl who I kicked in the pussy)
>June 2004 (against 5 betas)
>March 2006 (against ''tough ginger kid'')
>March 2006 (against same ginger kid)
>April 2006 (against snobby dickhead)
>May 2006 (against roastie who fucked older 20 year old dudes)
>July 2006 (against rugby player kid)
>September 2006 (against chav who later became my best pal and still is to this day)
>July 2007 (against older boy)
>December 2007 (against douche in the year below)

[ADULTHOOD]
>August 2010 (me and my m8s fighting another group of men at pub)
>December 2011 (against roastie paki/indian chick who looked liker uber whore)
>May 2012 (I chinned a bouncer and then qwuickly ran when the police chased me)
>December 2014 (got in a fight with some younger boys who were like 18)
>March 2015 (against some nigger who I threw against a car in the pub car park)

I lost 1 of them fights. The one in December 2014

>>126178389
I'm from Glasgow, Scotland - we fight all the time here.

Best one was when I worked for the Army in a civilian role. Me and two Gurkha lads battered fuck out of a few dickheads in a fairly upmarket wine bar. Broke my orbital bone that night.

One of the Gurkha's actual first name was Hitman. 5'5 and a fucking wildman. Miss the fuck out of that boy.

>>126187042
For a second there I could actually feel your butthurt. Impressive.

>>126178389
Yeah... Middle school, guy was fucking with me, told him to stop, he didnt. I scream at him, he was scared af so he throw me a bottle, hit so I was mad af too. Punch him, then kick him down stairs like in 300. Then he ran like a whore, calling for help. Fuck, he got that help because his uncle was around and they both fled in their car.

>>126187270
Just bored and drunk mostly

>>126178389
>Grew up in tough areas of south Atlanta metro area
>White
Was almost a weekly thing. It changes your mindset. It's the worst when you realize you are getting stared down on a bus ride home from school. I "won" more than I "lost" (probably 70/30), but the ones I lost were absolute beat downs. Fights are never fun, and rarely does someone walk away without and injury that doesn't leave you contemplating your existence and purpose in life. No 7-13 year old should ever have to think that way. I was hardened by it, though, and in some ways, it was good.

Fast forward to middle/high school, better areas to live in. The white kids that were bullies to everyone usually met me with a shove, and return fire usually resulted in a fist in the eye. I was amazed at how quickly bullies turned out to be pussies.

My size was a major factor in it all. I'm 5'6" and was an "easy target" in their view. Win or lose, always fight back, and don't stop swinging until you:
a. Are being dragged off
b. Stop seeing red
c. Start seeing black

Once a bully understands that you have that sort of mindset, they realize it's not worth it to fuck with you anymore.

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>>126186688

Who taught you how to fight, Sherlock Holmes?

>>126187131
You sound like an absolute nightmare to get drunk around. People like you ruin fun times at the bar.

>>126186773
When you're a 400lb hacker, your body is the perfect defensive tool.

I vividly remember in middle school some skinny Mexican kid shoved me and was talking shit constantly I probably would have just shoved him back and done nothing but my mom wasnt in the country at the time due to a vacation and I punched his face in he wasnt knocked out or anything but he had a definite black eye and he never looked in my direction again much less say some shit back to me

>>126187366
Take a shot every time you see the word "cuck" on this board. If you're still conscious in 30 minutes it would be impressive.

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yes several, what always worked for me was chokes, bear hugs and just throwing people on the ground then jumping/standing on them for humiliation and them losing more air, most people quit when they can't breath punching and kicking (flailing like a spastic) you can do all day hehe you and the other guy/s

only time i ever was in trouble was when a guy out of nowhere at a party put his hand on my throat with a rock in the other, so i did the same to him then i called him a coward and he said som shit then we went separate ways, no, he was not a nigger

just watch out for knives and people so intoxicated on whatever they are borderline psychotic

>>126186773
Try punching a bag for 3 mins without stopping and tell me how you feel.

>>126184035

How many confirmed kills and what's your highest qualification in gorilla warfare?

I want to beat this kid's ass but he wrestled in high school. I have no formal training just height and weight and athleticism on him. Should I just chill?

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>white trash bully in kindergarten
>targets me for whatever reason, he's much bigger, does shit like push me down into the woodchips, nothing too violent
>school refuses to address it
>one day he's pulling his shit and I just snap with pent up rage
>tackle him to the ground
>sitting on his chest delivering a furious barrage of punches to his face
>this goes on until we are separated
>of course we both get in trouble
>he never bullies me again

>12 years old
>hanging out at mall with friend one evening
>get jumped by girl and like 12 other kids
>sucker punched me from behind
>some girls told her I called her a nigger
>she's ripping my hair out
>of course hair pulling, women are stupid and vicious while simultaneously not knowing how to fight
>lying in the street trying to retain consciousness
>adults are walking by and do nothing, don't even turn their heads
>my friend does nothing, is nervously playing with my phone
>traitor
>find out her dad molested her
>good

>14
>living with 15 year old friend who works at burger king so I hang out there a lot
>I'm at the front of the counter and this high school faggot on the other side says something disrespectful to me and it pisses me off
>tell him if he's gonna be an asshole he's gonna get hit
>he's bigger and older and so he just kind of smugly leans over the counter
>angles his head, pointing to his left cheek
>mfw
>clock him
>his braces go into his lips upon impact
>falls onto the floor, headset breaking, out fucking cold
>very bloody
>gets up
>tears in his eyes he plays it cool
>"t-that was a good punch..."
>goes to the bathroom to clean himself up and I assume he went home
>manager comes over to me
>I'm not worried, everybody there likes me
>warns me not to do that again or he won't be able to let me hang out there anymore
>hands me a free medium fry
>nobody liked that guy
>he's a Marine now
>Facebook occupational status:
>"kill"
>wonder if he ever thinks about me humiliating him
Those fries were so delicious, /pol/

>>126187511
1) most of the fights were in school not at a bar
2) I'm surrounded by arseholes. Only one that was started by me was the one where I hit a bouncer
3) I'm ok as fuck with alcohol, unless it's cider, and I'm drinking on my own

No. I gave a gut punch to my bully in high school and some sparring with martial arts, but that doesn't count as an actual fight. I've had some confrontations a few times in a pub, but these lads were passive aggressive. Meaning if you pose as actual aggressive, they fuck off.

I kind of wish for a moment where it comes push to shove, but if it's not clearly justified on your part as "winner", it could lead to a lot of trouble with the state.

>>126181536
>m'lady

>little guy in high school
>tried to fight my 6'+ ass
>caught me in a really bad mood
>picked him up and slammed his head on the floor
>crouched to see if he was still responding
>he was
>picked him up and slammed him again
>crouched to check if he was still breathing
>he was
>slammed his ass one more time
>his friend stopped me
>walked away and only got a warning from the principal

only fight i've ever been in
didn't get into any kind of trouble because of that
maybe the school really hated that kid

Never got into a fight. Too many people here die for meaningless reasons, actual fights can be a death sentence.

>>126178389
I have trained with the guy in your picture OP

>>126187897
Did you seriously get your ass kicked by a girl? Top kek.

>>126178389
no :(

>>126178389
Where i grew up everyone fought, you were either "bully" or getting bullied yourself.
Started at the age of 3 in kindergarten, after some big kid smacked me on the head with a huge soviet made metal truck. I switched around kindergartens and therefore fought often. Then i remember beating up entire group of boys with a stick for braking our snow fortress, got suspended for that one.
In school i fought in the first day in the locker room and pretty much up until the last day. Tho me bulling didn't led to not serious fights, because they rarely resisted. Out of school i also fought often, but more seriously, was in a couple of street gang fights even. Was beaten by a group only one time, when we fought 1v1 and then his friends jumped me, when i got on top of him.
Was a bully up until collage, when i kinda "grew" out of it and even befriended one dude i bullied in school, he either didn't hate me that much or was still afraid of me a bit, dunno. Rarely fought since then, only drunken club or bar fights.
Last time was in the military a couple of years ago. Nobody tried to chimp out on me, but some dude slapped me on the nose(which was broken before) with a hand, after i did it with a glove, so i lost cool(always do if nose) and gave him 2 jabs in the nose and cross in the chin, fight was already over at this point people grabbed me and led me to sgt. Broke that dudes nose, it was as big as potato afterwards. Could be in trouble, but sergeants were also at fault because they should've been with us at that point(we were forming up to dinner). So they had to hid and treat that dude for about a weak from our officers. And i gotten away with it(i was cool with most of our sgts).

>12'11
>969 lbs
>0.5% body fat
>fight 20 people at once
>use my whirlwind technique
>spin around with my arms extended and my fists clenched
>knock out at least 15 of them in the first 3.7 seconds
>I begin to ascend
>the speed of my spinning starts making a tornado effect
>see a qt3.14 girl
>she mirin'
>spaghetti starts flying out of my pockets
>tornado of spaghetti
>tornhetti if you will
>the spaghetti strangles the 5 others as they become entrapped in my tornhetti
>Fly home
>spaghetti everywhere

This happened 3 minutes ago BTW.

>>126178389
>be 16 or 17 idk
>drunk in a club
>some fatass insults my friend or some dumb shit that can piss of a drunk dumb teenager
>try to get him to leave the club cause if i start shit there i'd get beat up by security
>he tries some huge fucking swing, just dodge it and push him over
>he falls, gets up, approaches me again
>i elbow shot his face, fucking nicest punch i ever done
>2 of his friends jump me, punch me a little
>mfw 3 guys who were 5 years older than me didn't manage to slam me to the ground once

yes, all minorites in middle school; either a draw or a decisive win

one exception the only person to knock me to the ground was my brother, but he's a violent drunk and had a alot more fight experience

>>126187461

Judo from 5 to 25. Father was on all forces Judo team. Boxing from 12 to 26. My Amerikan uncle by marriage was a famous terror of collegiate wrestling and I would spend summers there at his family's ranch. Taught me the all-time pin move for wrestling....knee drop to achilles the rotate the leg over at the heel with it. Never got caught. Also showed me how to punch someone in the biceps insertion ending fight leaving onlookers puzzled. My biggest advantage is total ambidexterity because most people's brains even other southpaws cannot deal with punches coming from the "wrong" side.

>>126187989
>3) I'm ok as fuck with alcohol, unless it's cider, and I'm drinking on my own

Alright, that's cool. I just know a guy that is decent as hell until he starts drinking; he's the type that turns into a complete raging monster when he starts to get drunk. Glad you're not like that. I just saw all of those fights at the bar and assumed you were like him.

>>126178389

how do you fight someone much taller than you?

>In crowded bar in Sheffield
>Bunch of townies giving me shit in their freshly ironed shirts
>Stocky cunt is all up in my face, mouthy like.
>His mates are just watching, grinning.
>I'm on my own, just out to see a band with some bird/friend.
>"Hang on fella, I've got something in my eye."
>Put hand down back of jeans, push index finger up my own ass, do a little figure 8.
>Pull hand out & quickly wipe it across his top lip.
>His mates are horrified
>He's shot thru to fuck, just wants to run away.
>Bird starts cackling like a witch. She's in hysterics & people are starting to notice the commotion.
>Hard lad makes a run for the toilet, his mates follow for fear of getting a shitlip..

>>126187861
Yes, he will throw you around like a little girl.

>at restaurant with gf
>we start laughing
>dipshit wigger walks up to table
>"i know u weren't laughing at me"
>"no i wasn't, but i can"
>starts taking his watch off and pulling his pants up like most wiggers do when they're about to get rekt
>"i bet yall won't come outside"
>finish eating
>go outside
>wigger has curated a soundtrack in his car to get murdered to
>i ask "are you 18"
>starts shitting out some well thought out fighting words
>threw a haymaker
>feel his jaw break loose
>tried ripping his esophagus out anyway
>people pour out of the restaurant and i get pulled off
>his street hardened wigged pals immediately call the police
>cops and ambulance and firetruck show up like 10 minutes after i left
>only fight i've ever been in

>>126188278

now that I remember we fought again and with got to the ground and I won by catching him with my knee on his neck and holding his arms; I was gonna snap his neck until mom showed up..

>>126188426
use your lower center of gravity and hip toss their ass

>>126178389
If you live here, go to secondary school you've all been in atleast 3 fights

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I work as Security. I lost count the fights really. But i never striked first. Won every fight (except while training) with only using arm/hand/headlocks, body throws and grabs. I never punched or kicked. Just controlling the opponents in submission. Did 10 year judo, 2y jiujitsu, 2y krav maga. Also trained 2y years with friends selfmade training based on my old judo training some mma and basrutten training tapes.
My advice dont fight hard but fight smart and be explosive. You want to end the fight as fast as possible. 5 sec max. Dont show your opponent that you going to strike, hide your intentions. And Beware of other opponents around you and for suckerpunches. If you can escape always do so. If you dont have choice then follow advice. I also didnt punched or kicked for legal reasons. I want to keep my job.

>>126188426
You sock em in the chin first and go for the legs trying to fall on top of him. Then just sit on his stomach and punch/elbow in the face until hes done. Best bet in my experience.

>>126178389
MMA guy here, I was taking a jog one time, and 3 bull nigs jumped me and demanded my wallet or they were gonna kill me. The biggest one, about 2 meters tall with pretty big muscles had a knife. I told them to back off and leave me alone but they swung the knife and reflexes kicked in.
I caught the big guy's hand and twisted the knife away, gave him a broken nose before his buddies jumped in, I dislocated one guy's arm, at least I think, and the other got a faceful of sidewalk.
They ran off after that and I went home and gave the police descriptions, they got arrested a few days later.

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>>126178389
I got confronted by some Albanian guy at a house party about a year ago.
He was determined to start a fight and talked shit to me the entire evening. I ended up punching him once in the face, knocking him out. His friends tried to jump me, but somehow couldn't hit me once and only managed to pull me around for a while before it was broken up.

The funny thing was; the guy turned out to be from the same school as me. He didn't show up for a week afterwards and when he did, both his eyes and forehead were badly bruised and blue.

I hope that taught him not to pick fights with strangers again.

>>126181294
Physically cringed reading this

>>126182105
Did they rape you in prison? Or is it just a meme?

>>126181603
Do you live in that weird shithole from Just Cause 2?

>>126184917
>turbocuckery
>not traditionally german

>>126188953
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=LARP

>>126188426

Learn to grapple, defend your head and hit them in the balls.

>>126188866

kek best russian brawling advice

vid related

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h88S3G9xcGw

>>126188124
[spoiler]it was humiliating but not because we were opposite genders[/spoiler]

>>126188793

you sound like a pussy

let's meet somewhere and fight

I'll knock you the fuck out, bruv

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>>126178389

My dad's works as a pharmaceutical administrator for a big company - and despite being an educated suit he's gotten into more street fights than anyone I've known.

He's like an older Benicio Del Toro but stocky. I've watched my father LAUNCH strangers countless times. He just has that perfect center of gravity that can send dudes twice his size rolling down the street.

The man is in his mid-50s and still gets into fights, most recently handled two 20 year old niggers at the gym. (He's apparently moved on from 1 on 1 fights.)

I don't like fighting myself, I'm half Finnish and much lighter built than my father. But the few fights I've been in seem to indicate that I've inherited some of his combat prowess. Still I don't want to push my luck.

It makes me realize how pussified our current generation has become.

>>126189268
Roleplaying and LARPing isn't the same thing. He's not dressing up as the karate kid IRL--he's just posting some shit on the Internet.

>>126178389
data mining thread

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>>126187377
what were your parents doing

>>126178389
Not a real proper fist fight, only defending myself against bullies. I'd always get bullied for being one of the only whites in school and I'd just take it until I would finally flip my shit on them. It's what pushed my further right and made me racist, seeing how those monkeys really act. Once in 5th grade, some nigger kid kept kicking me under the desk, or kicking while changing classes then running down the hall. Eventually I got pissed off and chased him up the steps and shoved him down them, he ended up changing schools the next week.

Other than that, nothing else really remarkable. At the other school I got bullied at, they always had to attack in a pact. I'd fight back, but there isn't much you can do when it's a group of people attacking you. And of course the nigger teachers just pretended they didn't see anything, even though they were right there.

>>126178389
No but me and a mate almost got mauled by a bunch of sandniggers

>>126178389
Sadly not for around 3 years, I do enjoy it though.

>>126189483
>raging insecure manlets like to fight people

More breaking news at 11

>>126178389
>be about 15
>get into a retarded discussion with a friend's friend during a soccer game
>he gets assmad and challenges me to a fight outside the school after we're out
>i know i shouldnt accept, and consider just running or calling my parents to come pick me up
>fight anyway
>the guys buddies show up, like 6-8 or so, plus him
>beat the shit out of me. i thought they also mugged me because i feel someone grabbing my backpack and my shirt that was nearly off
>after they are done i realize a couple kids i didnt know well actually where keeping my shit safe and then gave me a water bottle
>my parents pulled me out of that school because they assumed it was the school's fault somehow. i had my face severely fucked p tho

moral of the story: dont pick fights with low class spics. theyll cheat. or if you do, cheat better

>>126182737
lol kurwa

>>126182703
not giving up your seat is one thing. Beating up a guy with one arm is pussy

>>126189483

your dad sounds like a pussy

I'll meet him somewhere and fight

I'll knock him the fuck out, cuz

>>126186634

>genetics matter
>national origin, often based on genetic factors, does not

make up your fucking mind

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Seth Rich
e
t
h

R
i
c
h

I had to fight one of my stepdads one day

> I'm in my room minding my business, playing some kerbal space program.
> comfy
> family is downstairs celebrating my little brothers graduation and being ranked 2 in his entire class
> "anon! Come down here and congratulate your brother"
>I stay in my room
> heavy football steps climbing the stairs
> "anon! Hiccup* I said go downstairs goddamnit
> my step dad reeks of beer
> reaches into my PC and starts ripping cables out
> I lunge at him and yell
> he grabs my hair and starts dragging me down the stairs by my hair
> everyone is laughing at me

>>126178389
Yes. Beating the meat alone. Feelsbad man.

>>126182710
This guy gets it

>>126178389
>be me, high school football star
>school hires nigger coach
>quit team
>nigger running back calls me a pussy
>awshit.jpeg
>screaming match ensues in class
>nigs yells "man ill fuck yo ass"
>dead silence
>nig says "man i ain't gay"
>nig pulls off his shirt and we throw down

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>>126178389
I got in a playground tussle with a friend in like fifth grade. dude had anger management issues. later, in middle school, he stabbed a kid with a track spike. then he went to college halfway across the country, got obsessively in love with some girl, did some acid-laced shrooms, thought he discovered a way to make an elevator that outputs more work than you put in (physically impossible) and that this discovery would somehow help him attain his childhood dream of figuring out how to make human beings into Super Saiyans (100% not joking). then he dropped out, moved back home, acted almost sane for awhile (except that he'd walk around town barefoot, and not shower ever), until one day he up and left and hitchhiked back to his college town, stalked the girl, she reported him to the authorities, and he was arrested for walking down a highway nude. he is in prison to this day.

pic related, I'm not making any of this up.

>>126181079
Yeah, get in there and start hitting with everything you've got anywhere you can reach. Don't try to be honorable, just win the fight. If you are a Big Guy, you can get inside a manlets reach and dominate him 9 times out of 10. Be aware of your feet, foot work is very important. Keep moving and attacking. Very few people ever expect a spinning backhand or a roundhouse kick to the face. I have won more fights than not by being flashy, but some guys definitely know how to deal with it, so be aware of who you are going up against.

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>>126178389
I beat the shit out of a guy who tried to steal my cellphone. Ran after him and kicked his ass.

Pic related.

Lots of teenage fights. Won some I was supposed to lose and lost some I was supposed to lose. Never started any. My reputation improved.

I would never fight now. Fighting is stupid. You never know what a stranger might do. They might really hurt you or you might really hurt them.

Not worth it.

>>126178389
I have been in about 4 fights my whole life.

First was an annoying small kid back in middle school, fucked him good.
Second the kid everyone bullied since he went full REEE on me for making fun of him, we ended making him cry for the next days for losing, we even made him cry again by trowing rocks at him, poor kid never manned up and now is a cheerleader.
Third in Highschool, No reason, dude went mad on me out nowhere, nobody lost, teacher separated us.
4th in the last day of highschool, a joke fight escalated to a real one, i lost.

Thats it, i would have been in more fights but a female friend stops me every time.

>>126178389
In college I fought my neighbors naked.

>college dorm living
>shared bathroom with next door neighbors
>I'm in bed with then girlfriend
>they drunkenly come into my room through the bathroom
>without thinking I jump out of bed
>completely nude with erect penis pointing straight at them
>yell at them to get out
>they are stunned in shock
>Where are your pants! is all one can say
>I keep yelling at them while marching closer
>they are still in shock
>one has a thousand yard stare
>the other cant look away from my dick
>get to them
>start to throw them back into their room
>have to punch and push them in their stunned state
>barricade their door
>go back to bed

no one wants to fight a naked guy

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>10th grade
>Huge crowd trying to get into cafeteria
>Dude starts pushing me into the unmoving mass of people
>Tell him to fuck off, he's not helping. Turn away from him
>He pushes me hard, causing me to stumble forward.
>Feel his hands on my back again, elbow him hard in the face.
>Turn around to finish the job, motherfucker punches me hard in the right eye.
>World is flashing black and white, can't see, too much pain.
>Hits me again in the face, still can't see but caught his arm this time.
>Pull him into a front headlock.
>Twist him around and jump a bit, he starts to lose his balance.
>Yank sideways, jump and put all of my weight on the back of his head, driving him into the ground.
>Maintain headlock, he's screaming now. Lift him into standing position for second faceplant.
>I am subdued by 3 teachers and kicked out of school.

>>126190633
Heartwarming

You must be shapeless, formless, like water. When you pour water in a cup, it becomes the cup. When you pour water in a bottle, it becomes the bottle. When you pour water in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can drip and it can crash. Become like water my friend

>>126178389

no

only retards fight

>>126185833
>I was fucked up enough that I had to stay in my cell for 4 days straight and have my cellmate bring food from chow back to me. Couldn't let the COs see me and start some lock down shit.

Really? In prison you can "I just don't feel like it this week", sit in your cell for days, and nobody will come check on you? Plus, they let your roomie bring you dinner?

I'm surprised.

>>126178581
why didn't you run?

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Does grapple/fencing count? I was pro for years. Won a small torney at one point.
The no honor bouts were always fun as shit
>square off aginst a somewhat new guy
>his footwork is shit
>feint a strike and knock his ass over with a shield to the side of the head

yes and I lost, it made me a better man tho and realised how much of a weakling dyel I was. never again

>>126178389
I'm not the social type so I'm never in fighting situations which is a good thing considering I can't even do 10 push-ups. My brother got into a fight at his bachelor party though, got his jaw fractured for spitting on an islander.

Be me in 99 i walk the streets after a couple of beers after work with friends,drunk some gypsy comes to me and pulls a knife and says wallet and phone,i walk past him and say "fook off cunt",i walk 2 paces then my legs give in,the cunt actually stabbed me in the back and ran away.
I got to the hospital by myself and almost lost a kidney,medic said i was lucky.

Second time again late coming from work,year 2000.4 gypsys come to me one pulls a knife,again money and phone.
Now a bit about myself i am 6.1 and a hungry skeleton at about 130-140.
These guys were all shorter but heavier so i say fuck it and punch the fuck right in the mouth and i feel his teeth give the fuck in.
His friends rush me and push me to the ground and start stomping me,the fuck is triggered beacause i broke half of his teeth and activly tries to cut my troath and stab me while i am on the ground.
I used my arms to literally parry all his stabbs,got about 50-60 cuts on the arms and three shallow stabbs on the abdomen.The fucker gets tired and they stomp me till i pass out.
I wake up in the hospital,had a major concusion and ahda to stay 1 month to recover in bed.Got to something like 115 pounds.

Its not the being in a street fight part that scares me its that the other guy might have a knife or bit of broken glass

>>126186481
Woah

I was picked on by the same cunt for years when I was in school. I finally fought him in year 10 and landed a punch right on his mouth and split his lip. He got me a few times too but because I had no visible injuries the teachers weren't on my side. His parents threw a shit fit and I ended up suspended for 2 weeks. There's no justice I tell ya.

>>126191134
the deps knew exactly why he was doing what he was doing they just didnt want to deal with it

also depending on the dep they may know that trying to address it would just make the situation 10x worse for him

>>126190416
You won? Can't let nigs get ahead.

>>126180810
I broke my wrist on my brother's face when he started attacking me out of the blue, and I'm pretty motivated to start working out and practice punching. I just want to get done with college, I didn't know how to stick working out and all that in my schedule.

>>126191625
i was a dlinemen and he was a running back. he got fucked up man.

double leg takedown and pounded him till the principal and nigger coach broke us up.

>>126191427
race war sa scapam de tigani cand?

>>126191518
This.
Even worse when his even drunker buddy could have something, too.

>>126178389
i'd heem every one of you pussies irl

I attacked my mom for not giving me my tendies. Dad came in and tried to stop me, but i screeched and pounced on him in unbridled rage.

>>126191060
nice one bruce

I got into a fight with addiction, and after 15 rounds, we came to a draw. me and addiction became good friends after the fight and get drunk n high together every day

>>126191134
It depends on the prison. For example, in my state minimum security and pre-release prisons don't even have cells (at least for the most part) so you couldn't get away with it.

In medium security however, you can easily pull off not leaving your cell for days. Shit, addicts get a bunch of suboxone and chill in their cells for days playing xbox and watching TV and eating commissary lol.

Most prisons don't do roll call or whatever like you see in movies and lame TV shows. If you got called for an appointment like with your case manager or for medical or if you have a prison job you could easily get fucked though. If you have a job and don't show up someone will end up checking on you. I didn't do shit other than watch TV and smoke cigarrettes so it didn't matter for me.

>>126181294
>muh meritard heritogs

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>>126187087
This.

>>126178389
More fights than I care to remember. having red hair is like being a boy called sue. I also worked in a secure prison with People with anti-social personality disorder, and 4 of them decided to gang up and try and take me hostage. I kicked fuck out of 3 of them. The other was jumping on my collegues head, he stopped and backed off after He saw what I did to his mates. I was suspended for 2 months for that. It was resported in the media too. I also kicked fuck out of 2 highlanders (soldiers) in a nightclub. They started on a mate of mine, and if I had not of intervened they would have killed him. I heard after they were kicked out of the nightclub they got the crap kicked out of them again, and then arrested. It was going to go to trial but they pleaded guilty, I heard they were booted out of the army.

>>126182737
which side was the village rapist on?

>>126178389
I've been in many fights. I started when I was 3 or 4. My best story goes like this.

I was in fifth grade and some kid in my class twice my size thought he was going mess with me. I wasn't having any of his shit.

So I said something I don't remember now and he got mad and started grabbing me.

He had me in a bear hug from behind and started swinging me from side to side. I got my left arm free and hit him in the face and he fell down while still holding me.

I landed on my right arm with him on top of me. The arm bent back at the elbow and broke and was dislocated too.

I pushed him off me with my lest arm then I started cussing at him saying I was going to fucking sue him. Then I said I wanted tylenol for the pain.

I went to the hospital and got my arm fixed after they gave me morphine. I was told that I had made the guy I was fighting cry.

My arm is now a little crooked at the elbow but it's strong.

This story is 100 percent true. I was a mean little shit back then. We didn't sue though. I was just saying that to fuck with him.

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>>126188621
>wigger has curated a soundtrack in his car to get murdered to

>>126191427
Now my third episode with gypsy robberies,this time after the first two i had laerned my lesson and never lfet homewithout knifes/machets or even a small katana.
This time 2 gypsys smoking on the corner,one of them cuts me off and pulls a knife "watch ya doin cracker",i amliterally not impressed,i run forward while i flip my knife oppen.
The gypsy is caught by surprise and i stabb him 5 times deep and hard in the stomac area(since i did not awnt to kill him).
I was lucky that i knew guys in the police and was able to pull ropes to just pay the fine for illegally carrying a knife,also the shitskin cunt almost died in the hospital,if that would've happened i would propbably still be in prison but meh.

>>126178389
If you shit your pants you will win every fight.

>>126191427
POST SCARS

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>>126178389
I killed 15 skinnies in the mog. Does that count?

>be in 7th grade
>be fucking tiny
>playing flag football in gym class
>some huge fucker keeps tackling me for laughs
>now am a walking, raging grass stain
>receive pass
>get clobbered again
>pick up ball
>can barely grip it
>throw the only decent spiral I've ever thrown
>hit him square in the nuts
>leg it, laughing like a retard
>others in class thinks its funny as fuck
>they tell him he deserved it
>teacher makes him sit out the rest of class

>>126191923
Nus coae creed ca m-am batut sau m-am certat de vreo 50 de ori cu ciori,si de multe ori nu ai ce sa le faci ca vin 20 cu mafiotu' astia ar trebui exterminati.
Oricum acum e mult mai bine ce era in 90 si 2000,abe aputeai sa iesi pe strada in bucuresti.....mai ales noaptea.

>>126191863
Good work. Spooks think they can say anything to us and get away with it because we're soft.
Just have to handle them like back in the old days.

>>126190931
got kicked out for 1 fight damn

>>126192166
t. things that never happened

>>126178389
That meme about black and mexican people being better fighters than whites is a myth. I've fought whites, blacks, and mexicans and I've beaten members of all three races. I'm white.

>>126187897
>>Facebook occupational status:
>>"kill"
You gon' die.

>>126192142
>>126187087
this just means you're both betas desu.

reason fights happen break down to two categories: 1) self-defense and 2) asserting dominance

seems you never fought for either, that means people thought you weren't even worthy of an attack because you were too much of a beta for them to assert dominance if they won. you are in the plainest terms, a bitch.

>>126182703
seriously thanks for confirming that ur country is full of shit, shit people, and is shit overall

No fights but I shot a man in Reno once, just to watch him die.

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>>126188494
Kek

>>126192439

we had to play rugby for PE in school, all the lads in our school had to play rugby twice a week. Quite a lot of steam got blown off

>>126182966
The proper bmi for that height is a range of 150 to 190.

Stop shitting out /pol/ numbers

>>126191560
>>126192076
Thanks. You both make reasonable sense.

I read about the process to send an acquaintance in prison a book once, and it was so complicated I just assumed the inside of prison was similarly strict and organized.

>>126187861
Yeah, no. No reason to fight. I mean, what are the best possible outcomes? Worth it?
t. 27 years old.

>>126178389
I lost my first fight and refused to be a victim again.
>10 years old
>Walking home from school
>Notice high school guys are following me
>Try to get some distance as I have to enter a secluded stretch of bush to get home
>They keep up with me
>Think there's no way they'd actually hurt me
>Confident they're just trying to scare me
>Stop at the side of the track to tie my shoe
>Hear heavy steps behind me
>They surround me and start asking who am, where I go to school ect.
>Try to get away
>One of them grabs my bag from behind
>I start demanding they let me go
>He drags me to the ground
>Thrash and kick
>Hit one of them in the teeth with a kick
>He punches me repeatedly
>Stunned and barely able to move
>They strip and rape me
>Come to my senses part way through
>Bite around his eye
>Canine grazes his eyeball
>The other two try to hold me
>Wriggle free and sprint as fast as I can
>Make it to the main road
>Hold back tears and walk to the bus stop
>Teacher stops me
>Starts shouting and demands to see my school notebook so she can give me a uniform infringement
>Left my bag on the path
>Takes my name and gives me detention for obstruction
>Get on bus
>No money
>Driver can see I'm on the verge of tears and lets me ride for free
>Get home
>I'm 45 minutes late
>Parents ground me because I'm too ashamed to tell them what happened
>Go back to find my bag the next morning
>They shit inside it
>Run away from home to find my cousin
>Tell him everything
>Writes me a sick note for the day and buys me new things for school
>Starts teaching me to defend myself, when to carry weapons and how to avoid confrontation
>Years later going through local papers
>I recognize two faces
>They were 17 at the time
>Both died in hospital after unknown assailants beat them with golf clubs at a party a year later
>Can't find a single mention, social media account or document about the third anywhere

I've run from plenty of fights since, but I've not lost one.

>>126178389
>Highschool
>16 or so.
> Dude steals my gym shorts.
> "Hey homo, those are my shorts."
> Him " These are my shorts"
> Stand waiting and watching till he has his pants around his ankles, snatches the shorts back.
> Walk to my locker, throw them in and lock it.
> Wait for him to come around the corner.
> Tries to choke me, one arm over the choke breaks it, other arms punts his head back so far he trips over a bench and gets knocked out.
> 3 Day suspension.
> Rest of the year " OMG did you beat the fuck out of that dude."
> " Naw I just hit him once. "
Also
>Highschool 18 running around track while some sand nigger transfers sit against a fence and jerk off about 70 virgins.
> Someone tells the sandniggers to run, no wonder they always get shot.
> After run, they come at me, grab me and put me against the fence.
> " Yo, I don't want to fight, wtf. "
> " You called us a bad name! "
> " No I didn't assholes get the fuck off me. "
> NEO nazi tank of a man shoulder checks big dude and starts to curb stomp his face into the ground while his friend bolts.
> Bloodied sand nigger barely has a face, dude grabs me and we bolt, " Don't let those sandniggers bully you, til Vallhallah brother. "

>>126192496
i grew up in the south so things function a little differently here. it's still very much a 1960 us vs. them mentality.

>>126186397
Gave me a hearty kek

>>126192648
You are a complete nigger, in true /pol/ alt-right conservative fashion. Hang yourself.

>>126192297
Actually i wonder can you remove scars by surgery or should i just get some tatoos to hide them?They are mostly white now and a bit fadedbut when peole see them and hear the stories most of them think i am some kind of "knifer"(street tug that robbs people or does other shady stuff).
Any advice out there.

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>>126180890
every time the leaf

>>126192555
Believe what you want. It happened, Bragging here doesn't mean anything.

>>126193211
what did i say that was wrong?

>>126193072
Don't fuck with golfers, I guess.

>>126178389
good little fascist antifa faggots hit me in the back of the head and chest as i was standing in between trump supporters and snowflakes

they hit like little bitches; i laughed in their faces

>>126193122
are you a nigger