/p/ cringe stories

>>3054466

Who walks and eats? Disgusting.

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>playing breath of the wild
>Zelda trash talks my hobby

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>2010
>be me
>shoot with a lensbaby composer on my rabal
>tonemapping
>momthinksimgood.jpg
>shows her friend at work who's actually an accomplished photographer my photos
>a-anon has a good eye

Pretty sure /p/ cringe stories is /p/ itself

>>3054466
>about to mount camera on tripod
>quick release is on of the types that clamps together
>tighten up as usual
>take hands of
>camera falls onto cement
>wtf.wav
>realise i screwed the clamp shut without the camera part fully in
>lens dented but perfectly fine
>mfw i use solid old film lenses that can take a beating

>be me
>visit /p/ everyday

>>3054466
>see someone using lens caps and babying their rabbal + kit len.

>go to /p/

>Walking along the street out shooting snapshits for fun
>Buy a pizza because I'm starving and could use a slice
>Spot some fuckwit with six DSLRs strapped to him pointing and cringing at me

what a fucking nerd

>>3054602

Got ya beat.

>$3,000 lens body combo
>putting it in bag as I walk
>manage to miss bag and literally drop kick the camera
>bounces like 6 feet
>covered in dust, camera screen protector shattered, lens hood broken
>brush it off
>replace screen protector/hood
>body only has a minor scuff
>lens still looks brand new

I am so fucking lucky.

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>>3054466
op clearly does not get real men in the worl work and wasting a thousand on a camera means eating pizza and smudging the lense cause america

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>be me
>walking home from the train station
>finished wedding gig
>good camera in my backpack
>shitty dslr slung for my candid pictures of weirdo's i see on walk home
>walking
>wtfisthat.jpg
>some weaaboo faggot with a camera
>snap
>mm might grab some pizza
>get pizza
>eating pizza walking home
>jump on /p/ to see what the plebs are posting
>see this thread

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>>3054522
I'm glad they added selfie mode, took some really nice pictures at sunset over the weekend

>>3054633
kek

>>3054612
Kek

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>>3054633
HAHAHAHAH fucking kek

>when you see someone holding a dslr up high with 1 hand and the strap is not being used

>>3054719
I usually use the strap to hold my hardon to my thigh when I use my 70-200/2.8.
Big penis is such a curse, it gets in the way most of the time.

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>>3054466

>doing black and white street photography (original idea, do not steal) with my canon rabal
>see a cute girl
>she eyes my dslr
>'wow, what a big c...amera you have there' she says biting her lip like pic related
>instantly i start sweating, i would have been drier jumping in a lake
>somehow doesn't bother her
>'why don't you take my picture?' she says with a wink
>i shakily hold viewfinder to my eye as I wipe sweat from my brow
>suddenly lens falls off
>spahgetti starts spewing out of my mirror box
>try to clean it with lens pen
>ask for her number
>she walks away laughing
>i cried myself to sleep for a week after that

After I cleaned up the sauce, the lens was fine though.

>>3054746
real story :
>be a fat neckbeard shooting snapshits because no inspiration / talent
>see a qt girl
>try to take her picture without her noticing
>suddenly her alpha boyfriend shows up
>"what the fuck, you weirdo stop taking pictures of my girlfriend"
>slams my Pentax
>my lens comes off and hits the ground
>girl laughs, bites her lip at her boyfriend being alpha as fuck and protecting her
>they bail
>lens is broken
>cried myself to sleep

>>3054766
that's what you get for taking creepshots

>>3054639
>using a fucking screen protector
>owning cameras that have screens

>>3054466
>>see someone walk down the street with a DSLR camera

could've stopped there, OP desu

>>3054766
>>3054784

Literally, women are not worth photographing unless you're getting paid to do headshots, or getting paid for wedding/engagement photos.

By far, men are far more interesting. Girls look nice, but they offer nothing conceptually.

Of course that isn't all cases. But it sounds like you were shooting a specific kind of person, which I don't think they deserve the time of day when it comes to creating art or anything similar.

>>3054818
>women are not worth photographing unless you're getting paid to do headshots, or getting paid for wedding/engagement photos
>By far, men are far more interesting. Girls look nice, but they offer nothing conceptually
ur of the faggot descent

>>3054818
S'true. Their personalities take longer to develop.

>>3054818

Intriguing opinion. I assume that's also why there are no paintings, no sculptures - hell, no hieroglyphics of women throughout all of human history. Not worth capturing.

>at weeabo con
>talking to some of the cosplayers post-con
>"yeah there was this really weird guy that took pictures of our feet"

>>3054887
He probably posts here

>>3054766
Eggy?

>>3054892
he actually got booted from the con and is known as "foot fetish guy"

>>3054920
Don't you mean "feetish"?

>Go on /p/
>Talk shit, post shit, all day, erryday
>own a shelf full of cameras and lenses worth over 5K combined
>never actually take a single photo
>haven't done so in over 10 months
>don't go on holiday cos work all the time
>don't take pictures of anything because I have no friends or gf
>Talk shit about other cameras despite never owning one, let alone shooting with it for any appreciable length of time
>Think that full frame is best, and shits on APS-C, despite the sensor difference is marginal

Basically 95% of /p/

>>3054967
>Think that full frame is best, and shits on APS-C, despite the sensor difference is marginal
>marginal
>25% of the area
Think again

>>3054818
hi /pol/

>>3054487
Fucking animals

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>>3054818

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This happened over a year ago..

I was on this hill in a park overlooking the city skyline doing some long exposure when I hear some people approach me from behind. After a while, one of them comes up to me and starts talking to me about cameras and he says he says he's a freelancer. He was showing me his camera and he said it was some Russian Canon or something weird like that. He was curious about my camera and when I told him it was a Pentax with a 35mm f2.4 he said he hadn't seen one of those in a very long time and that's a rare lens. Not a K1000 or anything crazy, a K-S2 with the baby's first prime 35mm.

I mean I'm having trouble thinking at that point because I'm high as a kite but I'm like, "okay, sure, cool"

This is where it gets weird.

First he brings up that's autistic, but he really didn't seem like it. He just seemed a little anti social maybe and like full of himself.
>I'm a special snowflake hur dur
>I'm different
anyway
His friends in the background are talking about magic.
Literally about how they practice black magic and how it's not something to fuck around with.
Hearing them, he starts talking to me about it
and how he made a voodoo doll of one of his friends and put him through hell
and like something called the ripple effect.

I don't know it was so fucking weird
At this point he's just shooting the shit with me about him practicing magic.
Then he went back to his friends and starting talking more about it with them.

>what the fuck is this really happening?? or am I tripping

He said his name was Nick but he went by some weeaboo name and he takes pictures of cosplayers. Last time I posted about this someone found his facebook page, it’s very cringey.

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>>3055075

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>be an assigned tog at a weeb event in SEA
>bring ALL your gear, three cameras, lenses, the whole show
>on the last day leave your gear bag in the care of a shifty poo in loo security to shoot a meme cosplay show
>10 minutes later come back to find it gone
>b-but he was se-security

>>3054746
Since no one has validated you yet, this was the funniest thing I've read in some time. Thanks anon.

>>3055075
>>3055077
this is why we need high school bullies more than ever

>>3054664
people actually wear those fear of god shoes?
fashion is austistic

>>3055077
he didn't even capitalize designer or editor christ

>>3055102
>leaving your gear with anyone you cannot trust
your fault

>walking in Downtown Nashville creeping street photography
>Japanese tourists taking photos on a tripod with some huge lens
>I start taking pictures of Japanese tourists taking pictures

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>>3055725
>trusting anyone
>not being in a constant state of paranoia

>>3055075
>shitty picture of a shitty Homestuck cosplay that should be basic as shit

Run

>>3055075
Weird, I would have expected him to be the Pentacks shooter in this situation.

>>3055274
But highschool bullies are often what fuck weak kids up. Not to mention bullies are usually fucked up as well.

>>3056014
yeah but at least they're not cringe-tier fedora weebs

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>>3054602
I know this feeling

>about to mount camera on tripod
>quick release is on of the types that clamps together
>tighten up as usual
>take hands of
>camera falls but grab strap lens hits tripod leg
>wtf.wav
>realise i screwed the clamp shut without the camera part fully in because the camera strap was in the way
>filter thread dented but lens perfectly fine
>mfw i use solid old film lenses that can take a beating and catlike reflexes

>gf's best friend graduation
>there's this guy taking reportage like shots of all the the students graduating
>full frame canon body, 5d3 I think
>red ring lens, probably 24-105
>pro flash
>spent the entire day taking pictures with the flash blasting straight on

This stuff is so stupid and it triggers me so much. I took a couple snaps with my DP2M and I was shooting at ISO 200, there was WAY more than enough light to do it without flash and in any case he had white walls and white ceiling to bounce the flash on. How can people dump like $3k on gear and still not realize that the fucking speedlight is not supposed to blast directly on the subject.

another one, more fun than cringe

>be me, cosplay con with friends
>taking some snaps
>change lens
>accidentally let the lens slip from the mount
>catch it between the camera frame and the metal mount, with my pinky in between, which gets slashed by the edges of the bayonet mount
>insert bleeding
*like 1 minute after that
>raising myself as I was kneeling over my bag, raise camera
>misjudge camera size, had the trigger on top of it
>sharp hot shoe on top of trigger makes contact with my forehead
>insert bleeding

Then I got my shit together.

>be in audience for anything
>see hundreds of camera flashes from seating even further away

>>3054466
>visiting Moscow from Finland
>underground
>approach my station
>take my way to escalator
>some dude is sitting on a bench taking snaps, camera pointed in my direction
>approach him and stand closely so that my feet are almost touching his feet
>"sir taking snaps of people without consent is illegal"
>dude stand up slowly and his chin gets to my nose level
>re "no it's not"
>approach policeman
>"dude is taking snaps"
>policeman approaches dude, asks him something and leaves
>dude continues taking photos

t. dude

>>3056274
so what did the police ask you?

>>3056274
yeah that was pretty cringy of you

>>3056274
you can take photos in public spaces, people are going to be in them. That's not illegal, as long as you don't take pictures of someone despite them being against it

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>>3056274

>>3056232
>at an anime con
>balcony seating
>girl seated in front tries to take photos of the cosplay show with a Rabal with kit lens zoomed far in
>flash pops up and faces the balcony railing as she's shooting under it
>every flash bounces into your eyes from the shiny chrome plating

>>3055744
i do this in dublin

japs are the same everywhere its great

>>3056333
Done this too.
Japs get so involved in photography that they don't even notice whats going on around them.
Saw one step off a curb while taking a picture and got smacked by a truck.
One less nippon.

>>3055744

My Jap friend just visited nashville a few months ago. Post pics, might be them.

>>3056222
> taking a DP2M to a graduation
kek

>>3054920
Heh, that's me.

>>3056355
It worked out alright, I just took some snaps. Wasn't going to lug my DSLR around.

>>3056276
Nothing, it's legal to take snaps anywhere in publicly accessible place in Russia. He basically only reacted to show that he cared.
>>3056278
I did nothing special, the dude was shorter than me.
>>3056292
It depends but in Russia it's that way except that one cannot spy after someone even in public spess.

Policeman also told me that greentexting guy is from Finland and that he told him that it's not fine in Finland.

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>shooting digital

>>3056440
Tfw it's 2017 and digicucks still can't get good colors

>>3056413
>spy after someone
Usage of diguised, hidden cameras and recorders. Actual cameras in public places are ok.

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>be le me xd
>see this for sale
>post here

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>>3054807
>Owning a camera
>Not taking images with you mind and saving them in your photographic memory bank

Seriously need to change this board name to camera gears

Literally just got home and I'm still cringing.

I slept around 4 hours last night and I'm running on fumes. Went to shoot with a model on my AE-1 and when I wound the film, I, for some reason, didn't put it in the teeth and proceeded to shoot only to realize at the end that I hadn't in face wound the fucking thing. She wasn't impressed. Embarrassing. I doubt this will ever happen again, I'll forever be checking

JUST

>>3056709
The biggest crime was that it was a great shoot - great shots. I'm lamenting what I've lost.

>>3056639
single coated.
it's ok, not the best 50mm 1.8/1.7

>>3056639
nigger it's a uv filter, just change it

>>3056711
>great shots
how can you say the photos were great if you didn't even take any, you fucking autie?

>>3056718
or you know,
just wipe it.

>>3055075
the photo with the dave looks like something from a found footage film

>>3056709
that's what you get from shooting film in 2017

>>3054639
Similar story, but not really cringe

>working for a local baseball photography company
>taking pictures of a small baseball tournament
>shooting with a canon 400 2.8, and 1dmk3
> $16,000 lens camera combo
>attach camera to monopod and begin walking to field
>forgot to tighten clamp on monopod
>camera falls off
>camera strap catches on monopod screw
>fuckialmostjustgotfired.cr2

Not cringe, but I cringe thinking about what could've happened

>>3056222
Reminds me of one time I bought a new camera strap, and it was much shorter than my old one. When I tried to put the strap over my head, I ended up accidentally yanking the camera into my forehead, gashING it open with the hotshoe. Fucking hurt, now I have a small scar on my forehead

>be shooting at motorsport event
>street circuit
>shooting with 70-200 while 300+monopod rests against the fence
>unbeknownst to me, I didn't tighten the monopod head properly
>gives way after about a minute, crashes into a wooden plank lens-first
>go back to media centre
>bend hood back into shape so it works properly (one of the babby-tier 300s with the retractable hoods)
>has worked fine since

I felt like an idiot when it happened tho

>>3057200
Your autism gave me a good laugh thank you

>>3054466
I'm a location scout who works 10 - 14 hours a day. I start my day making phone calls and using my catalogue of locations to source an opropriate spot. However the remainder of the days is me driving around the city or cities visiting 4 - 8 locations that need to be photographed in 6 hours. I battle traffic and time. Pizza is the fastest, fast food one can get and have it somewhat warm. I'm that guy 1/2 the time. By the end of the day I have 3 lens caps in my pockets jumbled up with change for parking, SD cards, and spare batteries. Don't be too quick to judge a slobe ... He might be earning enough not to care about the gear.

When I'm employed parking tickets are neon toilet paper in my eyes.

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>Be britbong
>Do a year long Fine Art course because no idea what I wanted to do with my life and it was free because I was young
>More than half of my class are turbo-rich Chink kids using it as an excuse to spend a year living in the UK
>One girl in the class sometimes has a then-brand-new Leica M9 slung over her shoulder
>Never even touches the thing, just lets it hang
>Visit a gallery, tutor asks us all to photograph something
>She pulls out her iPhone and uses that instead
>Picking up lunch later at a supermarket
>Watch as she reaches for something and the camera swings forward and slams straight in to the edge of a shelf
>She doesn't even react
>mfw I realise she carries it as a fashion accessory
>mfw I realise she only carries it on days where it matches her outfit
>mfw I realise it's likely never had a charged battery or even an SD card in it

That thing is probably rotting in a drawer somewhere now with like 10 shutter actuations on it.

>>3057383
How did you get that job?

>>3057402
Leicas are super popular in china to show off wealth. Not surprised one bit.

>>3057383
>>3057423
And how's the pay?

>Hired by a friend to do some behind the scenes photography at a movie set.
>Feeling all cool walking round the set chatting with the actors and director taking a few pictures in between.
>Have to switch locations by lunch, everyone is at the buffet but I was just taking a few long exposures of the crew cleaning up.
>One dude yells to me if I can help in the meantime since they need to hurry to the next set.
>I'm cool and help them.
>Dude asks me if I can put the camera in it's aluminium case.
>Sure mate.
>Camera is on a massive tripod.
>Have a hard time getting it off.
>See a tiny screw
>Pull it out
>Camera still won't come off
>Push button, finally it's free from it's legs.
>Giant lens, heavy as shit.
>Walk over to the case
>Suddenly my foot get's stuck behind a cord.
>Heavy camera means I'm unbalanced.
>Fall ungraciously towards the ground with the camera.
>Loud thud.
>Look around, no one saw me.
>Quickly run towards the case to put the camera inside.
>Hear the same noice coming from the lens as from a Lego box at Christmas.
>Oh_fuck.jpg
>Put camera & lens in case and close it.
>Go to the portable loo.
>Google the camera and lens I just fucked.
>Arri Alexa with an Angenieux Optimo 24-290, $ 200K setup.
>Start sweating.
>Take a safety poo.
>Throw up
>People coming back from lunch
>Tell them I got food poisoning and have to go.
>Leave
>Friends starts calling a few hours later.
>Calls twenty times
>I don't pick up the phone, now no more friends

>>3056977
kill yourself

>>3056498

>>3057841
Have you seen the movie though?

>>3057898
no

I once knew this guy who had been taking photos for seventeen years, had a 25 pound box of negs, more than ten thousand dollars invested in equipment, and probably 20,000 hours sunk into shooting, post processing, practice, discussion, research, and everything else involved in the art form, yet had never achieved gestalt, insight or notoriety with his work.

*cringe*

>>3057913
damn that's sad

i feel sorry for that guy (you)

>>3057841
damn son

>>3057913
you know sugar?

>>3057841
>Start sweating
>Take a safety poo.
topkek, good story lad

>>3057841
M8, that shit was insured.
If you really turned it into Boston Marathon confetti, you'd be up for a $1k excess tops.
Be a fucking man, holy hell.

>>3056447
ikr

And no, I mean that, you cannot systematically collect data about someone without consent with any technology.

>>3058725

>>3057968

The last time sugar saw 20,000 of anything was when he logged his daily caloric intake.

>>3058707
M8, I'm from Eastern Europe.
I would have ruined an entire shooting day on an expensive hotel set considering there's no replacement available any time soon.

>>3058129
When in doubt, scared or anxious take a shit my father always said, then you at least can't shit your pants.
He was a wise man.

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>>3054766