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Scout camp stories

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I'm sure a lot of you guys were scouts when younger and went to camps. This thread's for all those stories creepy, gross, funny and in between that happened at scout camp. I've worked as a camp counselor for years and have a fair share of counselor stories, so camp counselors please contribute as well.
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>bigass scout camp that covers several thousand acres
>have general subcamps and outpost areas for miscellaneous activities
>one of the most popular is the BMX course
>middle of the summer a group of scouts goes there
>one kid wipes out and flies off his bike
>happens all the time, staff running the course shrugs it off
>kid gets up and there's a huge rip down his jeans
>staff tells the kid to go innawoods and make sure he didn't bruise because youth protection
>kid comes back pale saying he needs to go to the hospital
>turns out the handlebar ripped through his pants
>down his leg
>ripped his scrotum open
>kid has to cup his balls to keep the junk from coming out as he's taken to health and then the hospital
>ends up getting 60 stitches
>never screamed or cried, probably because he was in pure shock

It was 2010, chances are he was wanting to get a sex change sooner or later. Handle bar was just starting a job he wanted done.
What is it with bikes and accidents at Scout camps?
>Camp my troop went to every summer would rent mountain bikes
>Couldn't adjust the seats, so there was a height requirement
>Annoying (probably autistic) kid too short for a bike sneaks into the group getting bikes one evening
>Everyone tears off down the trail without him
>He's whining and trying to catch up
>Has to stand on the pedals because he can't reach them from the seat
>Come to first downhill stretch and go around first curve
>Hear the distant whine of annoying kid trying to catch up
>Everyone stops as if on cue
Later find out that all of us were wondering if he'd be able to handle the curve
>Glorious view of him screaming down the hill and crashing into the trees
He thought the brakes were in the pedals like on little kid bikes, had no idea what the brake handles were for
>Everyone grudgingly goes over to see if he's dead or not
>He's moving, guess he's alive
>Holy shit, his ear is hanging by a flap of skin
This camp is something like a 2.5 hour drive from the nearest hospital
>He just sits and screams at us instead of coming back to the campsite
>We have to go get our scoutmaster and a couple of the other dads
>Takes all three of them to carry him back, he keeps trying to punch and kick them
>One dad is an orthopedic surgeon
>Has us tie the kid down while he boils a fishing hook and some thread
>Scoutmaster and other dad hold the kid's head down while surgeon dad stitches his ear back into place and bandages it up
>Annoying kid taken home in the morning, never comes back to troop
I've since realized that since all the guys were going biking the dads had probably been hitting my scoutmaster's secret whiskey stash that he tended to bring on campouts.
Worked at a scout camp from summer '13 - '16. Best fuckin' summers of my life. I have some dumb staff stories I'd be willing to post.

>younger staff member, call him Aaron
>embodiment of /fit/, whey protein, covering for the fact that he's totally gay
>gets his dad to bring his bowflex to camp
>Aaron's brother, Devon, works at camp too
>Devon likes to fuck with Aaron
>we all like to fuck with Aaron
>we have a spare floating dock to use on the lake
guess where the bowflex went

Aaron proceeds to swim out to the thing and work out on the bowflex in the middle of the lake. Towed it back while the one jewish staff member worked out on it. Aquatics guys didn't care cause they were both wearing PFDs.
We touched peepees in the showers.
I wish I would have stuck with the scouts when I was kid
>Go to shower building
>It's full of daddy longlegs, like every other building at the camp
>There's a weird clicking/chirping noise
>Friend and I (we were the only ones there, it was the middle of the night) investigate
>Abominable insect is in the sink
>(Without exaggerating) 5 or 6 inches long, looked like a giant stag beetle but with giant wings and long legs
>Made a loud cicada-like noise
>We don't want this fucking thing flying around while we shower
>Try to get it out by pushing it with a stick
>It flies incredibly fast, loud deep buzzing
>Like in a horror movie, the lights immediately go out as this happens
>Friend and I trample each other trying to get out
>Scoutmaster says he had seen something similar in the bathroom last year, called it Gregor Samsa
>Didn't understand what this meant for several years
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I threw and stuck a plunger to the ceiling of the chow hall and got in trouble when it wouldn't come down
Used to work as mountain bike director at a scout camp, can confirm kids are dumbasses on bikes. Lucky to only break two kids arms and tear them up a bit during my go but damn if I didn't have to remind them to keep their feet on the pedals every five seconds. We were straight up hitting steep rugged OHV trails and theyd fly off trail legs sticking straight out. Im lucky none of them broke their whole leg off.

>Has us tie the kid down while he boils a fishing hook and some thread

kekd hard, I wish my scoutmaster had been this bad ass.
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>Troopers, camping circa 2011
>The tent door is broken, held in place with some rubber bands
>Everyone is asleep 3am, tired af
>Suddenly hear a squeaking noise
>It's a kid talking in a very high-pitched tone
>"I need to go to the bathroom"
>K alright go then
>Kid goes out in the field
>Takes a big shit just there next to the tent
>Wipes his ass with the route map
>Covers the turd with the floormat of a friend

>was in scouts for like 3 or 4 years
>only 1 troop in the area
>some dudes mom was the troop leader
>all we did was arts + crafts, never any /out/ stuff
>end up quitting
>join scouts
>go to one meeting
>quit scouts

Shit was lame, I had more fun just going innawoods with my friends or by myself.
English isn't my first language, so bear with me.

>be me
>15 years old
>Church/Conformation camp in
>we were there a week
>a week of fights and sexual advances towards strangers
>second to last day we are walking this trail in the woods with various activities
>one of them is this rope stretched between five trees about two feet off the ground
> the idea is that only one person can be on the rope between two trees at a time
>I've been paired with my two friends and two random girls who we didn't know from another town
>first friend A moves across the rope, then I do it
>friend B does it, and as one of the girls steps on the rope the other girl does it too
>now all of us are standing on the rope, each of us hugging a tree (and the girls hugging the same tree)
>friend B shouts at them reminding them this is against the rules
>they ignore him and start traversing the rope
>he is obviously ticked off
>mfw he kicks the rope the girls are standing on
>mfw the girls fall off
>mfw one of them hits the back of her head on an exposed root and starts crying
>this pizza faced teenage camp counsler runs over after he heard the crying
>now both girls are crying and me and my friends are just standing there like three retards
>the pizza face tells us to just continue the trail as he escorts the girls back to camp
>that night there was a rave in the great hall
>can't see the girls who were in our group
>ask someone from the same town as them
>he says they weren't allowed there because of the loud music
>about an hour later there's an ambulance in the court yard

Apparently the girl who hit her head was found unconscious in her room. Didn't hear anything about this since.

Oh and my friend never got caught

Pic related is the camp
I worked Climbing and C.O.P.E 2011-2015 at one camp and 2016 at a second camp. I've never been the best at story telling but I do have a few stories. I suck at storytelling though. I'll green text one now and maybe come back and do one or two later. Most of my stories are from the first camp I worked. The place was massive compared to most camps. 2200 Acres, 3 sub camps, 100 staff, 4000 Campers a year.

The last year working there, I was living in one of the subcamps P. P had 5 lodges in addition to several tent campsites. The lodges were big buildings with a common area, kitchen and 4 bedrooms that each slept 8-12 people. During summer P staff slept in one of the lodges and the other 4 were rented out to various different groups. One group we got every year in the lodges was some youth group from mainland china. Occasionally they'd overbook and some of their leaders/translators would have to sleep in the staff lodge. We'd move everyone into as few rooms as possible so staff and translators would be usually in separate rooms. Key word here is usually.

>Early morning everyone is waking up
>Hot as fuck for some reason
>H, the resident gay man with soul of a sassy black woman bitches about said heat
>My Friend across the room yells back
>"It was probably one of those Chicom Bastards!"
>We all start to laugh.
>We all suddenly notice one of the TLs was sleeping in our room.
>Oh shit.jpeg
> None of us says a word
>We later notice that TL never slept in our room again.

I have a couple good stories about H that I might come back and do later. Also might share some of the highlights of the camp's radio chatter and the time we came within 15 minutes of calling the county Search and Rescue team.

First camp I worked at actually scrapped their bike program. They got tired of sending a kid to the hospital literally every week. The Second camp I worked at had mountain boards. Those fuckers made the bikes look safe.
>Gregor Samsa
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>80 mile canoe trip on the Willamette river
>day 3
>taking a slow pace with a large group and mostly overloaded canoes
>come across 20 cars dating back as far as 40 years that had been driven off the bank into the river
>hidden under tree cover, fairly dark and shaded
>couple boys paddle over to check it out
>we had made the trip more interesting by scavenging souvenirs
>they hoped to get a hood ornament or whatever
>the cars are rusted as fuck, a few of them submerged, mostly piled up the steep bank
>kid gets out of his canoe without his water shoes
>immediately impales foot on a sharp rusty car underwater
>everyone's freaking out
>kid is trying to cover it up, so the SMs don't notice
>His dad is head SM with anger issues
>tell the scout trying to cover it up is futile, he needs to go to the hospital
>His dad is the kind of mad where he doesn't say a word
>patrol boat speeds up 15 minutes later to get him to the hospital
>His partner is now solo and his dad's single canoe is now being towed by another SM in a pontoon boat
>16 stitches on the bottom of his foot
>SM meets back up with us downriver
>kid goes home

He made it to Eagle and he was valedictorian at our HS.

I have a lot of stories, I'll try to think of some good ones when I'm not on my phone.
>troop is chill as fuck
>scout masters make a giant pot of coffee 5:30 every morning before we go to the lake for a daily polar bear swim
>(our troop specifically requested one every day, when they usually only do one for the whole camp)
>our troop is loaded with snacks, always handing them out to other scouts
>never any pressure to do anything, but we all loved to challenge ourselves
>do COPE course twice
>SM brings his boat, spends the day teaching water-skiing merit badge and the late afternoon inner tubing for our scouts

Fuckin vacation, I wish I was 16 again
Sold enough Jamboree tickets to get a pair of binoculars and magnesium/ferro ceramic fire starter as reward.

"Fire Marshall" (of the world I guess) declares firestarters unsafe. They sent an empty waterproof match cylinder in its place.

Never before this had I wanted so bad to use my trusty BSA folder in anger. I quit that gig directly.

My little brother became an eagle scout. All he did was paint poor people's houses and hang out at a retirement home. He is a total pussy /out/.

Took little brother on a 15 mile, two day canoe float. He left the keys for the pickup vehicle in the dropoff vehicle. This is how he learned to hike.
Camping in tent with two other scouts at one of their houses. They dared each other to touch their dicks together. Did that shit right in front of my face. Called my mom and had her come pick me up after that.
Camping out on a small island that has old concrete bunkers and gun placements. One of the scouts dads started choking on some steak he was eating. One of the scout masters successfully did the heimlich on him.
>At summer council camp
>troop has sailing session scheduled
>sailboats are just simple little sunfish
>barely a breath of wind and everyone gets bored quick
>decide to play pirates and start jumping onto each other's boats
>starts with pushing each other off but things escalate quickly
>start pulling out dagger boards and rudders and throwing them in the lake
>ramming and capsizing boats
>one of the masts gets bent
>no one is on the boat they started on at the end
>find out a few weeks later once we're home that we caused over $1k worth of damage to the boats
>troop is banned from sailing for the next few years

it was worth it


How many Eagles in this thread? I got mine in [spoiler]2014[/spoiler].
This one time we went camping and I sucked my tent buddy's dick
Worked at a camp for a number of years. I will never fucking forget a scout by the name of

>be me, 16
>working as a lifeguard/boating instructor
>because of swim checks, you're burdened with knowing what every kid in camps nipples looks like
>One day, doin swim checks, and all the kids coming running out of the lake
>we used to tell them there was a penis eating pike that would bite their dicks if they pee, figured it was that
>but instead they yell "HE SHIT HIS PANTS"
>figure they mean the culprit just ripped ass
>they all refuse to return in the water
>I fail them all
>fast forward

>at staff shoot, all of us there
>uneasy silence, everyone's clearly thinking
>one guy speaks up...
>"... anyone seen anything weird?"
>a few moments of silence pass
>another replies
>"... I saw a piece of shit roll out a kids pant leg"
>then another pipes up
>"I saw a kid chasing others around with a stick dipped in his own shit"
>dots begin to connect
>zodiac shitter
>they describe him
>exact match to the water front fouler
>mfw those poor kids failed their swim check to avoid pink eye
>mfw the poopetrator has yet to be stopped
>mfw I've been working in the same area as the lochness loaf for days without knowing
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so many weird and unexplained things.

Main thing I remember was noticing that our staff tents had electrical hookups. First thing my tentmate and I did was buy an AC unit and hook that bad boy up. How the hell we didn't burn the tent down or get it taken away I'll never know, we mustve wasted so much electricity.

>3 weeks later all the tents had one

I also remember CoD 4 and Halo lan parties between tents. One was the default "gaming tent" with Christmas lights, mini fridge, and two tv' XBOx 360's. Did a lot of split screen stuff and had a lot of laughs.

As the wilderness survival merit badge guy, I got a lot of good stories too. I had a small bookshelf in my area so I stocked it with random books to mess with scouts, things like old army field manuals about avoiding detection, zombie survival guides, etc. First question every goddamn week

>Can I drink my own pee?"

No, bear Grylls does it because he's insane, use a filter like a sane person or if you're really desperate use the evaporation trick (can't remember what it's called, essentially you piss around the edge of a hole, stick a cup in, and then cover it with certain wrap so the water evaporates up to the wrap and drips down clean into the cup) I would then warn them that if I caught someone drinking their piss I would fail them on the spot.

>"How do we get to be good like bear Grylls?"

By realizing that you are not him and 60% of the shit he does would get you killed.

A lot of the kids were great, they asked stupid questions because they were excited and the "survival night" where they built their own shelters was awesome. So many crazy ideas that shouldn't have worked but they pulled it off. Definitely my favorite badge I taught.

pic unrelated
Always. Use. Barends.
My uncle almost lost a leg because he didn't and his handlebar went straight through his femoral artery. Still plenty of ways to get hurt on a bike bust at least you won't be impaled by a solid steel tube.
The hell is an eagle?
he's talking about eagle scout. It's the highest rank you get in boy scouts.
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Pic related, my ship with a makeshift forejib.

We'd sail into any water that seemed like it'd go somewhere nice with 3 boats and like 15 people. We'd sleep under bridges and eat soup for 10 days.

The two or three teamleaders would only visit in the evening to check if no one had gotten the boom in their face while tacking.

I was captain for 2 years, my bud was my quartermaster. One time we decided to sleep on our boat which was docked under the bridge as well. The bridge was located right next to a lake and we could watch the sun set while the kids got a fire going. A while later we decide it's time to go to bed

> Putting out the fire and stuff the empty soup cans in a plastic bag
>Quartermaster bud comes over and tells me it's probs gonna rain tonight
It's probs better to sleep in the boat because sleeping near the edges of the bridge would get our stuff wet
>Why the fuck not
>Check the tent pegs that we used to dock the boat
>Seems secure enough
>Pull the sails and oars onto land to make space to sleep
>Go to sleep
>Wake up from keel making noise because of a ship passing by
>Go sleep again
>Wake up in the morning
>Keel making noise again because of waves
Could've expected this
>Tent pegs don't hold a steel ship with people in it
>It didnt rain that night
>Wake up my quartermaster
>We're in the middle of the fucking lake without oars or sails
>Ask him if he's got his bluetooth speaker
>He basically sleeps with the thing
>Remove ipod from speaker charger and start charging my phone
>Call the other captains
>Still asleep

We have some sort of morning swim while we waited for the others to wake up

>Try again
>Other captain picks up phone and asks where the fuck we are
>Can you come and bring our sails and oars?
>Other captain asks where the fuck we are and why we are gone without our sails again
>tell the story

They take their time getting ready for another day of sailing and they pick us up along the way

At least we avoided morning dishes
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Another pic of my ship
>week long 50 mile summer hike
>Annoying kid keeps complaining
>He's terrible at packing light, brought a giant ass towel the size of a blanket
>We decide to steal the towel, soaking it in water, increasing the weight from like 5 pounds to probably around 15 or 20
>Put it stealthily back into his backpack
>Complaining increases to the point where the scout master has had enough
>Offers to carry the heavy as fuck towel that was soaking wet
>Gets super pissed at the kid for getting his towel wet, the kid doesn't know how it happened and freaks out
>Laughs and memories to be shared
>As the wilderness survival merit badge guy
Did you camp have wilderness survival overnighters? If so do you have any good stories from them?

August 16 2010
I forget how slow this board is sometimes and thought the thread died. Enjoying the stories so far. Sharing a few more in a moment.
That sounds GOAT, lucky bastard.
>2010, fresh meat counselor
>teaching woodcarving MB
>for some reason had a massive class, like 28 kids using equipment meant for 10
>second day, everyone's working on relief carvings with gouges and chisels
>repeatedly told them how to use the tools and ALWAYS ALWAYS carve away from your fingers
>doing rounds, checking on progress when a kid yells at me to come over
>kid stuck a chisel all the way through one finger and halfway into another
>rush to get a bandaid and send another staff as a runner to health
>another scout poured his gatorade all over the kid's finger to wash it out, he's panicking feeling the salt sting
>health eventually came and they took him to the hospital
>wore this giant finger cast for the rest of the week
Cool thing was after the troop invited me to their court of honor at the end and gave me ice cream, feelsgoodman
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>another season, had this annoying staff member who just joined
>huge chip on his shoulder, he ended up getting called babyface because he looked like an overgrown toddler and sounded like one as well
>always bragged about getting high and getting laid and drinking at home
>give him a lot of shit for it, he gets pushed off of sailboats if sailing on the day off for example
>always retaliates by trying to knock people to the ground
>a collegebro coworker mentions a kegstand one afternoon
>babyface hears it and says "What's a kegstand?"
>go back to camp kitchen where there's a root beer keg given from a troop
>let him try out a kegstand
>does it for 5 seconds then falls over and pukes all over the floor
>make him clean it up
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>another year
>have a bad bear problem because kids were being little shits and littering their candy wrappers everywhere
>constantly try to scare it away with pots and pans and yelling, but it only just lumbers off to come back later
>day before the Dept. of Agriculture came in to set bear trap
>bear comes in again being a little shit
>camp director and asst director run out of the main building towards it
>start pelting it with paintballs
>half the bear splattered with neon pink paint and it runs away
>day later., trap is set
>bear is caught
>it's that fucking same bear
>pink paint all over it, sitting there looking like a sad little punk inside the trap
>gets shipped off 200 miles away
That's pretty cool, were you part of sea scouts?
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>be 13
>make it to Frist Class
>everyone older quits or goes to college
>even the Scout Master
>retarded brown Jews dad is the new Scout Master
>suddenly I'm troop leader
>do this for half a year
>do Mountain Man at BTSR in the Davis Mountains
>first time I enjoy scouts in half a year
>hang out with cool troop from Houston
>Cavalry steals are food
>weeks over
>car ride back from Davis Mountains to San Antonio
>I hate my troop
>don't camp anymore
>go on /out/
>be sad
How do I get into camping and hiking again I haven't been in five years.
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Nothing crazy, bunch of little things that made me proud/laugh/ question God though

But yes, you need to stay out for at least one night with a shelter you built yourself. I made a game of it and heavily encouraged all aspects of being a scout when building your shelter. Winner got bragging rights.

My main points I encouraged were

>Economy of effort

I outright said I would be more impressed the less work you did to make a good shelter (keyword, good shelter) If you made a shelter and literally all you did was find it you were doing pretty well. After all, it's cool and all building these crazy elaborate shelter but if you really were out in the woods on your own you'd need every calorie you could get and would want to save energy.

My favorite remains these 3 young scouts, couldn't have been older than 13. I told them to disappear into the woods and start scoping out sites, or they could build in the clearing, they just needed to stay within sight. After a minute one comes back and says they're done. I go to look and couldn't have been more proud. They had found a fallen over pine tree at the perfect height to essentially be an A frame tent as it had fallen on another log. They had already cleared it of critters, broken out the lower branches to make space and lay on top, and were proceeding to lay a tarp inside so their sleeping bags wouldn't get torn. Called the whole class over to show what true laziness/genius looked like.

Had another group that accidentally built their shelter on an ants nest. Come 2am I hear yelling and see 3 scouts in a battle to the death with their six legged bunkmates.

>MFW they told me not to worry, they had it under control.

They toughed it out and made a new shelter at 2am in record time, made sure to personally tell their scout master not to mess with those 3.

One night we got hit with a gale force storm. I was told to allow the scouts to come into the local picnic shelter, essentially washout station in case your shelter didn't work.

Out of 20 scouts, not one gave up throughout the night. I stayed up for most of it in the picnic shelter ready to help move kids in and those stubborn little maniacs held on like there was no tomorrow. Saw a lot of ingenious midnight repairs as wind took its toll, involving everything from duck tape to shoestrings, but for the most part the shelters stood. Come morning there were some cold and wet scouts but they all had these crazy grins of how many stories they had to tell their troops.

On the subject of the picnic shelter. I wanted to do the class out on a trail away from the bulk of camp, like when I took the class a few years before. I was denied, and told to set up near the scoutcraft station, essentially a picnic shelter with walls. This was to give an out to scouts who "couldn't cut it" for whatever reason and needed a dry place to sleep. Every night, I would explain that the scouts had the option and I wouldn't judge them for using it. I couldn't pass them if they did, but I also reminded them that this was a difficult merit badge to earn and if you felt you got screwed I'd give you another chance.

Out of the whole summer I had one kid come to it, purely because he was homesick. He was the kind of nerdy, socially awkward type. I remember him crying about how he missed home and felt like he didn't matter much. I proceeded to remind him that he was out here doing the manliest things you can do at age 13 and that he had one of the strongest shelters that week that he had built by hand, and by himself (many scouts wisely worked in groups of 2-3 to pool resources)

I don't know if I helped the kid in the long run but he clearly felt a bit better after that and finished the night no problem. Hope he's doing ok wherever he ended up.
Yea, still am. I'm staff now
my troops leader was a mom too. god i fucking hate that bitch. pta, in every school her kid goes to, snobbiest fucking family i know.

her son hates me because no matter how /fa/ he was, i still got more bitches. everyone thought he was a huge douche
Staff from 11ish?-15. The last year at camp we were short on staff so we brought in some people last minute to work kitchen. One of gets assigned to my cabin. He was kind of annoying but alright. He always had some kind of candy on him. Ate it a ton. Starts carrying around and eating from a bag of sugar. Weird but okay whatever. Volunteer week comes along (a time when we can go home because there aren't any troops in camp) and he takes those days off to go home and come back after we move the camp (long story) Doesnt show up the first day at the new camp and then camp and program director start asking me and my cabin mates about who was in each bed. I was worried they found some empty liquor bottles we'd left behind. A few days later I found out that they found the bag of sugar he was carrying around laying in the old cabin. turns out it was actually the cocaines and he forgot to bring it home with him. He got in a car accident on the way back to the second camp and it was so bad that he couldn't make it back, which was good for him because they planned to have the sheriff come and arrest him once he did.
This will have to be a two-parter.

One summer we had a group of 4 moms try to come to camp with us.
Things that happened:
>Little kid trips over rebar stake on first night, gashes open his leg from knee to ankle
>Every night has all-night poker games with a deck of picture cards from Hooters
>Half the troop fights the most annoying kid in the troop. Moms think we did it because he was black. The other black kid, who was an absolute bro, led the fight.
>There is a log crossing the creek below our site. We begin having sword fights with sticks on the log.
>Pours rain on day two and washes away all the footbridges over the creek. Moms are coming back to campsite from rank advancement stuff with the little kids. Instead of going around to the road they yell at us to help them get across. Two dads and I have to wade with ropes through the flood because they refuse to use common sense.
>Troop in site next to us is one of those hard-core perfect troops of rich kids
>They bear a greater resemblance to Nazi Youth than to a group of kids having a good time
>Moms think they’re such sweet darlings, so perfect and dear. Tell us to be more like them.
>Moms begin insisting the troop wear Class A uniforms at all times despite the mud. Scouts and dads respond LOL NO.
>Moms insist the troop make and attend an evening campfire for them to roast marshmallows. All nearby wood is still wet, and we're not willing to give up our poker games.
>Like fish-hook surgeon anon above, the dads are used to sitting back in the evenings with whiskey and coffee. Moms do not approve.
>On third night, poker game participants spray themselves with bug spray and light the bug spray on fire
>One kid manages to light himself up from elbow to fingertip. Only mildly singed, but much screaming. The moms are very upset by this.

>On day 4 the Nazi Youth challenge us to a game of football. We have them meet us in a field across camp after their adult leadership goes to bed.
>Instead of a friendly game of football, we fight them
>When they run, we pursue them, harassing them with guerrilla tactics the entire way
>They are too afraid of us to say anything to anyone
>One kid runs away because he’s fed up with the moms, one of which is his
>Sneaks through woods to highway, walks five miles to convenience store, where he buys 3 lighters and a knife and then attempts to get adults going in to buy him beer
>Cops called and they bring him back to camp. His mom blows a fuse and leaves with him. She never lets him come back to scouts.
>Another kid goes into the tent that still has two moms staying in it while they’re off somewhere. Steals a whole bunch of panties. He strings them on a rope and ties the rope across the swimming dock.
That was the last straw for the remaining moms. They bitched out the whole troop and the dads, took their kids, and never showed up at Troop functions again.
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Holy shit, I think your Zodiac shitter came to my camp too.
>working kitchens one morning
>not my turn for latrine duty
>hear loud WHAT THE FUCK from across dining hall by bathrooms
>Go running over
>Mountain of shit in the toilet
>peaking above rim level
>Must have happened overnight
>shit is all the same color
>shovel and bucket, followed by the snake auger to clear it out
>it WAS the best latrine in the camp
> closed the rest of the week

Mystery still unsolved, but basically we assume a couple boys snuck in thru the window the night before and unloaded a few days worth of backed up camp fudge. We like to imagine it was one man, our phantom pooper.
Figured I'd share another story. Most of mine suck as they rely on knowing the people there. As I mentioned before H was the resident Gay man with the soul of a sassy black woman.He was also a 30 year old Mexican cripple. Had a lazy eye and walked with a crutch. Nice guy, but very dramatic about everything.

Anyways the story of the night H came out of the closet. Part 1/2
>Early evening middle of the week
>Assistant Reservation Director "B" sees that I'm not doing anything
>"Get in the van anon, we're going into town on a customer service run"
>One of the commissioners "F" is also there
>We set off into town. Halfway there, "B" gets a phone call
>It's H
For some fucking reason that week the trading post for camp P was not in its usual spot but instead a table that was rolled in and out of a closet in the dining hall.
>"I don't have a key to the closet and I need to lock up." Someone might steal something"
>B replies "Don't worry about it, no one is going to take anything. Just leave it there, I'll lock the door when we get back."
>B hangs up
>We joke about how he's probably going to sleep in the closet until we get back
>We reach town and head to the grocery store
>Customer service run entails us buying burgers for 150+ people.
>We dump most of the shelf of frozen burgers into our cart
>B also wants to get watermelon for the group
>We go to the produce section. B tries to get a case/pallet
> Staff won't give us pallet of watermelons.
>We end up buying them individually.
>It took 2 overfilled shopping carts
>We check out and load the shit into the van
>Whole floor of the back of the van is a pile of watermelons
Part 2/2
>We drive back to camp with the watermelons
>We reach the P dining hall.
>B gives F the keys to go lock the closet
>We go into the dining hall
>Trading post table is put away, at least H did that much
>We head towards the closet to lock it
>F jokes about how we should open the door and check to see if H is sleeping in there to guard the trading post
>We open the door to the closet
>H is sleeping on a table inside the closet.
>Me and F crack up laughing
>H wakes up and comes out of the closet.
A Gay man literally just came out of the closet
>We laugh even harder
>H storms off on his crutch

After that me and F unloaded the watermelons and headed back to our cabins for the night. For the rest of summer H kept trying to justify his time in the closet because "Someone needed to guard the trading post".
shitty story
fukken post a story ya sad sack of shit, fukken leftie melbournian poofta cunt, just fukken leave the basement before ya talk shit about anyone else ya fukken faggot cunt, grow up ya flop

Good stories mate
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>A gay man literally just came out of the closet
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Anyone else work at a camp with a Mormon Week?

>one week per summer for LDS based troops only
>You'd think you have a camp full of altar boys
>quite the opposite
>their one week a year away from their structured environment only to be let loose into 250 acres of anarchy
>we become camp thunderdome
>taxidermied animals get stolen from the ecology lodge and run up the flagpoles
>kybos get 10 years worth of penises carved into them
>have to break up fights hourly
>constantly yelling at kids to get off the COPE course
>they would literally just try to climb the trees on their own with no gear for the fuck of it
>Someone attempted a waffle stomp in the showers
>then a 2nd time the next day
>adult leaders are nowhere to be found
>kids are trying to stick arrows into the tree when the range master isn't looking

lots of shit went down with the Mormon boys
Ah yes this was totally the bear's fault
What can I say, I suck at storytelling.

5 years working at camp, we got kids from all walks of life. Inner city kids to rich ass white kids. The real shitheads were ALWAYS from the rich white Mormon troops. Stole shit disrespected people. The worst was a 2013 LDS Encampment my camp ran for some giant group of rich white Mormons. We affectionately refer to it as "Mormon Hell Week"

Mormon Hell week 1/?
Camp I worked at had 2 main sub-camps 1 for Boy Scouts and 1 for other groups.
>They rented both camps to full capacity.
>300~ under 14 who would be doing regular camp shit
>200~ over 14 who would be doing High Adventure stuff
But the sheer number of them was just the start.

>The Mormon leaders planned it so everyone checks in at the same time
>That time is 6 am Monday morning.
>We have to be up at by 5 to get ready for them.
>They expect us to start classes at 8
>None of the kids knew what classess they were signed up for
>Nobody has any fucking clue what is going on

I to run the cope course the first morning. Because the High Adventure staff were going to be doing shit for 200 people, my boss had told the staff we weren't teaching the climbing merit badge.

>I go to set up the COPE course
>COPE course is by climbing wall
>Notice a growing crowd of small kids next to the climbing wall
>Radio my boss
>We aren't teaching the climbing merit badge are we?
>There's a group of 20 kids here that say they're signed up to take it
>Boss tells me to teach them for today and that they'll have everything sorted by lunch
>Lunch time Mormon leaders have met with management
>They have worked out a plan. They want the most hardcore program available
>They even wanted Wake boarding.
>Our lake is slightly larger than swimming pool.
>Why the fuck do they think they can wakeboard on it.
>Reservation director has also given head Mormon a radio.
>That was a mistake
>Head Mormon is on the radio making frivolous requests the whole week
Mormon Hell week 2/?
Before I continue I need to provide some background info, the camp I worked at had an Outpost program. For 24 hours older scouts could ditch their regular merit badge classes to go do shit like Horseback riding, COPE, learn to use a forge, shoot blackpowder, dutch overn cooking. All the fun shit. Usually there were less than ten kids in the group, so after they finished activites everyone would just be hanging out and talking freely. At outpost nobody gave a shit about keeping up appearances of being model scouts. I wasn't outpost staff but outpost staff needed someone that was qualified to run climbing and COPE stuff, so those of us who worked COPE spent a lot of time with them. We ran the course for them, they cooked us dinner, and we all spent a bunch of time hanging out. Anyways back to the greentext

>Mormons want every outpost, every night
>For 30 people
>Plan is that each outpost will run twice a day. ~30 in the morning, ~30 in the afternoon.
>They will not be spending the night at the outposts but instead hike back to the lodges every night.
>Breakfast will be in dining hall, lunch and dinner will be at the outposts
>I am assigned to logger's outpost.
>Fuck yeah. Logger's uses the camp's older COPE Course which is built into the trees. My favorite course to fun.
>As one of the most experienced member on the COPE staff, I am tower-master.
>Fuck yeah. I love working Tower-master. I get to stay Up in the tree away from the world. I only have to worry about the people on the course. My word is law. Best job on the course.
>I will be on the tower nearly 8 hours a day for the whole week.
>No big deal, I've done this for other groups.
>How bad can the Mormons be?
Mormon Hell Week 3/?
>I get the first group
>Mormons kids are all fat and/or stupid
>They're slow as fuck on the course and constantly need help
>I constantly have to go out and help them on the course
>The only time I'm on the ground is for lunch.
>Lunch is a bag with a sad excuse for a sandwhich and a bag of chips
>Dining hall staff did not account for COPE Staff when making lunches
>I don't have lunch.

>Second day of the encampment
>Mormon troop leaders have had a meeting with management
>Our program is too hard
>How is this hard
>It's just hard. Way to hard for our boys, tone it done.
>I laugh at this. The COPE course's difficulty level was locked when we set up the elements at the start of the season.
>If they want to complain about it being hard they can complain, but my course's difficulty will not change.

>The Week continues
>Dining hall staff continues to not make enough lunches
>I don't have lunch all week.
>These kids are all idiots.
>My pateince is wearing thin.
>Working Loggers has turned from my favorite program into a tedious nightmare of dealing with these Mormon faggots
Mormon Hell week 4/?

>I suffer through the week.
>Last day
>Last group
>Almost done with this nightmare
>Thank god this finally over.
>I never want to see a fucking Mormon on my course ever again
>Still a couple of kids left to go
>One of them is fat, not very bright and hesitant to get on the course.
>Group leaders force him to try the course
>I think to myself that this kid is not going to make it up onto my platform.
>He does.
>Congratulate him on getting up.
>I offer him the chance to go back down.
>He wants to do the course.
>I think to myself, He got up, he can probably make it through the course.
>Hook him up and send him on his way.
>Turn around to set up a kid that just finished to be lowered.
>Hear a parent, "Hey is his leash supposed to be like that"
>I turn back around.
>Fat kid is halfway through the first element.
>He's fumbling with his safety line where it attaches to his harness
>He's 40 feet in the air
>I yell at him to stop what he's doing and stay where he is.
>Tell him I'll come out and look at it.
>He doesn't listen and keeps fumbling with it
>As I move my safety lines to go out to him I see something swing away from him.
>It's his safety line.
>His safety line is detached.
>He is 40 feet in the air on a high ropes course
>He has no safety line
>He is 40 feet in the air and has no safety line.

>Go full adrenaline mode
>Element he's on is a giant cargo net.
>I yell at him to put his arms through the holes in the net and lock them together.
>Kid is suddenly blessed with extra IQ points
>He is now smart enough to actually follow my directions.
>By this time I had moved my lines to the cable above the element he's on
>I go out to him.
>I hook him to me with a spare leash.
>He suddenly lets go of the net and moves his feet of a lower cable.
>His full weight is now suspended from me.
>He easily weighs twice what I do.
>I have to pull his fat ass all the way back to the platform
Mormon Hell week 5/5

>Get him to the platform and have him lowered down.
>Have another kid that was on the course lowered down.
>I shut everything down. Me and the other staff radio for our boss.
>After I come down I question the kid as to what happened.
>He says he was going along and it just came off
>Send the kids off to dinner while we wait for our boss

>Boss shows up and we go over what happend
>We inspect the gear the kid used.
>Check if there was any malfunction with his equipment.
>It's fine. The leash works perfectly.
>The system is double auto-locking.
>The only way to remove it is by using both hands.
>We conclude that the only reason it came off was because he was messing with it.
>We fill out the near miss paperwork
>Have dinner and head back to my cabin
>On my way back to my cabin some CIT tells me that I haven't done shit all week
>I have spent the past 4 days on a collection of 2x4s 40 feet up in a tree dealing with Mormons.
>I'm too worn out to bitch him out.
>Collapse onto my bunk and rest.

Literally the only positive thing that week was that Mormons had some special fireside thing where they talked about how great it was to be Mormon. Because of the firesides there was no evening program so we had every night off to do as we pleased.

>Last night Mormons are there
>They want us to combine our normal closing campfire with their fireside
>We normally close campfire by dismissing campers row by row and shaking everyone's hands
>There's 500 of these fuckers
>We hate every single one of them
>Mormons end up kicking us out after we do our thing so they can do more Mormon shit
>We don't have to shake their hands
>This is the high point of our week.
>The nightmare is over
Shit happened to me.
>Best troop in council when I joined.
>My whole age group quits
>Get adopted by older group, some of them had 3 years on me but it was a great time. I was always elected patrol leader
>Old based SM retires, new one's pretty ok but shithead parents of younger scouts keep challenging him
>My patrol all ages out or quits
>Suddenly I'm expected to be SPL and deal with all of these awful adult "volunteers"
>Walk out of a meeting one night and never come back.
>I regret it sometimes, the new SM really seemed to like me and want me to lead the troop.
>Realize that we could have run the idiots out by shifting our focus to demanding backpacking trips they couldn't physically do.
>>covering for the fact that he's totally gay
>>Devon likes to fuck with Aaron
yes but did devon like to fuck aaron is the question, this is very important

asking for a friend
Cool story. I worked scout skills and pioneering for Mormon Week and had to relieve at least 25 kids of their knives, my camp was only about half your size though.
>Anything other than Cunts in training

We also liked to call them Staff Helpers in Training

>500 scouts

That's a pretty good amount. I remember the one I worked at could get that high and it would be pretty nuts. I don't remember a Mormon week though, but we were in Kentucky, and in area that had relatively few Mormons as far as I'm aware.
As someone who worked with aquatics at scout camp, we hate your troop. We hate you troop with such a passion. Your actions don't even fall in line with the basic principles of the scout oath and law. Please commit sudoku.

I like your ship. I especially like how it looks with multiple sails.
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