gf wants to have a picnick and I want to star gaze after. We

>>945475
Don't sit down on an anthill.

>>945475
1) I haven't seen this game since I played SNES. That's fucking awesome!
2) You know how the "K" in knife is silent? The "K" in picnic is invisible.
3) Bring a cup of sugar and dump it several feet away from where you're laying.

>>945475
Who cares about the fucking stars you retard? It's just an excuse she's using to get you to fuck her in the pussy outside. Are you autistic?

>>945489
She wants to picnic in a park. I doubt an outdoor fuck is on her mind. It is on my mind however, hence why I'm gonna bring her to a rural place and not a park.

>>945489
>stars
>not based
pick 1

>>945496


1. look at ground
2. inspect for ants
3. if there are ants, repeat steps 1-2 in a new area, perhaps 1-2 yards away
4. sit down free of ants
5. ???
6. profit

have you ever been outside?

>>945517
Steal the ants and running to mootixico

>>945517
but it's Florida. There is no ground without ants.

Before you take out your food put some bait food/sugar water/whatever a bit away so they go there instead

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When you are laying down with your gf, and starting to relax, start to randomly jump up shouting REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, at a ridiculously high volume.

Do this every five minutes or so, you might also want to run around in circles stamping your feet and spitting on the floor.

This will A) Scare the ants.
and B) impress your girlfriend with your insect scaring skill.

>>945475
burn the ground insects don't cross ash
cover the middle of your ashen field with a tarp
then put a blanket on top of tarp
burn incest to scare mosquito away

>>945475
Use a blanket to lie on, try not to stir up any anthills, but ants tend not to be active at night or when the temperature drops.

beyond that just pack your food in a way that you won't attract critters.

>2017
>the south
>going to the rural south
>not owning a pickup truck for said picnics and stargazing and tit glazing.

You're fucked OP.

>>945475
Anon you should honestly get out of that relationship and concentrate your efforts on self improvement.
A woman is only going to bring you down in the long run.
If you happen to get her pregnant your life is basically over.
Not worth the Russian Roulette

>>945482
Better yet, put sugar all over your blinker. The ants will be eating your blankets sugar and not you food.

>>945475
Kill them first: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGJ2jMZ-gaI

>>945639
>burn incest
>incest

>>945475
Floridian here. As long as you don't hang around an anthill, you should be fine. I never have problems with ants while I am camping or chilling in the woods.

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>>946041
This is the only sound advice in this thread.

Dont listen to the guys that tell you to burn incest and put sugar on your blinker.
They are idiots.

>>945475
Couple star watching tips

If you don't have a good scope, at least take a good pair of binoculars.
Wrap up warm and take plenty of hot tea/coffee - gets cold as balls if you're not doing anything physical.
General rule - white/blue light destroys your night vision for a good 30 mins. If you have to find shit after dark use a red light.
Also if you're trying to see something feint, don't look directly at it, use near-peripheral vision as it's better at spotting variations in brightness.
Go when there's no moon up and preferably during a meteor shower - there's loads of them throughout the year just google it.

>>945475
hammock.

obvious answer is obvious

>>945527
>>948440
>>949103
As another Florida annon, I can confirm all of this. Even fire ants will generally leave you alone so long as you are not on or very close to a mound. The trick is, they are quite thick on the ground out here.

As mentioned, a nice double hammock would suit you well. Grab extra blankets for underneath if it happens to be "Florida cold" that night.

There is one "ant" we have that will still be an issue with a hammock. They're actually a wingless wasp, but they look like ants. Call them tree ants or dragster ants because they actually sting in a long line, like a skidmark. Hate those fuckers and nothing repels them, lucky they are solitary.

>tl;Dr get a hammock or truck and don't lay near mounds dumbass.

>stargazing tips

Don't go when it's raining.

And you can google a staratlas.pdf.

I found a few awesome ones that I printed out on a nice 300dpi printer at work and took to Copy Max to have spiral bound for about $3/each.

Came out great!

Also forget the sugar incest, that shits lame.

And fuck her in the ass, butt babies are way cheaper to raise thay pussy babies.