>be me >second to last day in sweden with gf >driving

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what the fuck man

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>>889887
>some big fucker
4U

You got killcucked dude. Should've been you who smashed that badger's skull in.

>>889887
Does the same policy apply to humans hit by cars?

>>889887
Did your gf looked at you in the end with disgust in her face after realizing that you're a softcunt?

From Sweden, never heard of this. Story made me kek though. If this is true, why did you wait 30 minutes for some guy to show up and kill the racoon? You should have stomped in its skull yourself brev, poor thing

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>he can't mercy kill animals he runs over with a single shot to the head
>his gf can't/won't do the same

Fuck I love the USA.

>>889887
>pussy ninny faggot having to call someone to kill a dying badger

I fucking hate you, OP. And your default-to-authority girlfriend. You two are what's wrong with the world.

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>>889887
is it illegal to brain the thing yourself?
why do you need someone else to come and beat the shit out of small animals that are already on the way out?

>>889907
this is one of the reasons i have an axe in my car kit.

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>>889887
>not keeping a cheap knife in your dashboard for roadkills
>in the land of Morakniv

>>889887
I think roadkills are supposed to be thrown off the road so that they dont lure in any carnivores, which would potentially lead to more roadkills

Kind of related but my dog keeps eating the shit of some fucking feral cats in our shitty pseudo suburban neighbourhood. When we lived in the country we just shot them but here we can't even fire a weapon. Will shooting them with a pellet gun make them go away? I want to drill their skulls with .303. I am also worried about what my neighbours will say.

What do

>>889951
Well said.

Mom was driving me home from visiting a friends house as a teen. We spotted a dog laying in the gutter with its guts hanging out. Grabbed a shovel from the trunk and chopped its head off as a mercy kill.

Who watches an animal suffer for 30 minutes?

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>>890051
dude pellet gun those faggots. youre probably not going to kill them, but they'll soon learn to steer clear of cat-crusher anon's yard. now that i think about it why do come in your yard anyway it your dog is mangling their comrades?

>>890060

She's not, she's just eating their shit and it's not good for her. She actually likes cats. I just want to know if the pellet gun will leave any trace that I shot them so the neighbourhood nancies don't get all over me.

>>890066
Depending on what you get it's going to make a PPBBBBT sound and no, no one will know unless there's BBs laying all over your yard. Keep it to yourself and you'll be fine

>>889887
Have swedish people never heard of a fucking knife?

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>>889887
Are you sure that wasn't an arab badger?

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>>889887
>be me
>19, have rich spoiled 18 yo gf and rich spoiled friends in car
>driving along listening to their bullshit chatter
>squirrel runs out
>I try to avoid it
>squirrel has death wish. OK FINE.
>bumpa bumpa
>stop
>silence from girls
>get out and check, ran over back legs nomorenutsforthisone.jpeg
>get back in the car
>"OMG anon, what are we going to do? That poor squirrel is dying"
>"OMG anon, I'm a vegan, I can't believe you hit that squirrel"
>"OMG this is awful, how could you?"
>back the car up
>bumpa bumpa
>screams like you've never heard
>mfw I did the right thing and everyone knew it, but didn't want to admit it.

>>890066
>Retard dog is eating cat shit
>it's the cats fault
Fuck dog owners are about as dumb as their pets

>>889887
>College
>Out driving in nondescript Midwestern suburb
>Driving down a parkway one night
>Notice a few deer running parallel to the street
>Steer away from them and keep an eye on them in case one of the dumb shits decides to jump in front of my car
>Deer on other side of the street decides to run in front of my car to try and connect with the rest of pack
>Clip the front half of him, he skids
>Deer is still moving, obviously broke his front legs, skull is cracked open
>A very young buck
>Well shit, drag him to the side of the road and try and find something to mercy kill the poor bastard with
>I can either beat his ass to death with a tire iron or slit his throat
>Go for the knife
>Mid throat slitting a random SUV screeches to a halt in front of me
>Out steps the suburban mom
>Starts screeching about "WHAT ARE YOU DOING ARE YOU INSANE IM CALLING THE POLICE"
>All of this happens before I can get a word in
>She immediately gets back in her Honda or whatever
>Deer is dead at this point.
>Police show up, I explain the situation, they see the front of my car, they seem to understand, no big deal
>Suburban mom creates this massive shitshow over the whole ordeal and demands that I be breathalyzed and my license be suspended.
>Agree to be breathalyzed
>Oh hey blew 0.00
>Suburban mom says I'm some kind of psychopath for "slaughtering an innocent baby deer"
>Start to try and explain what happened to her
>"NO! NO! NO! YOU'RE A FUCKING SICKO!"
>Police start to intervene
>They ask me to leave so they can "talk with her"
>Been two weeks and I haven't heard shit about it since.

>>890273
Housewives are probably the dumbest creatures on the planet.

>>890066
It's not bad for a dog to eat cat shit, if I'm not mistaken. It's rich in calcium I think. Google it or ask >>>/an/

>>890257
Experienced the same.
Only differences were that it was a deer and I used an axe.
Fucking pussies.
Found out I broke its spine.
Went into the freezer.

>>889952
in germany you have to either wait for the police or a hunter to show up and shoot it or you have to take it to a vet to euthanize it

because in the eye of the law you are neither trained nor authorized to kill an animal

Itt: eurocucks explain how their governments have turned their citizens into bleeding vaginas.

Meanwhile in america: last night i kicked a porcupine in the ass and told him "go home bish"

>>889907
Om du kör på ett djur större än en hare ska du enligt lag rapportera det till polisen, oavsett hur djuret mår. Man ska även märka ut kollisionsplatsen.

>>890257
>>890326
>drive with vegan gf, happily chatting
>suddenly a cute little bird appear from nowhere and fly straight into the windshield
>sit in silence for 5 min
>finally she say something
>"fuck, that burd was suicidal"

>>890379
im jelly, i love porcupines

you have to call authorities anyway for insurance reasons and hit and run on game is a crime in hunting law
recently the german government even created an app for this

>driving home one night
>see a flash of white run out in front of my car
>thump thump
>get out
>rabbit is twitching, back half mangled and flattened
>damnit
>go back to car, dig around for knife
>finally find it, sharpen it
>go back to rabbit
>no rabbit, but a trail of blood
>start following it to weeds on the side of the road
>rabbit hears me, struggles faster
>see it going toward sewer
>sprint, but not fast enough
>plop

>>890273
people don't understand this shit. Even cutting trimming the cat's claws with the GF because the little fucker claws the shit out of her legs otherwise
>little meow, struggles some
>OMG UR HURTING HIM STOP STOP!!
let the fucker go, and he thinks that's the way to get out of it.
>her legs get more scratched up
>he screams and struggles more the next time
can we do it my way?
>fine.jpg
>don't let go when he cries, trim those things even though he's struggling
OH IMAGINE THAT, being decisive and imposing your will on nature leads to positive results for you. Welcome to being an effective human being.

not the same as mercy killing but it's in the same vein that non /out/ people just don't understand.

>>890384
saw something like this with my mates.
bird fucking flew into the 5th story window(toppest window) and fell down to the ground.

fucking birds man.

>>890066
>>890082
>neighborhood cat ladies feed cats
>that's why they hang around
>cat ladies start seeing injured cats
> take them to the veterinarian
> veterinarian starts digging pellets out of multiple cats from one geographic area
>use basic level detective work to figure out it's you
>go to jail for animal cruelty
your only chance is to retrieve the bodies and dispose of them without anyone seeing. unless you get an instakill every time (you won't), one will probably run away and be found by someone

>>890475

I just want to shoot them in their cat asses so they'll fuck off from my yard. I hate living in a neighborhood so fucking much. If were back in the woods I would have just shot them with my Enfield and disposed of them in a fire or something.

Why don't city or suburban people see the problems with feral cats that are not taken care of and reduce bird populations and that kind of shit? Seriously, they are a fucking problem. If the neighbours wanting some fucking mousers they could've adopted a fixed cat so I wouldn't be wading through cats.

To top it all off they saw nothing wrong with hopping my fucking fence to get to the cats and their kittens under my shed. I have signs that say no trespassing and beware of dog (it was for her protection not theirs) and they still hopped over the fence. Multiple times. I should have shot them.

>>890401
>plop
Thanks for the laugh !

>>890401
>see it going toward sewer
it wanted to die, just not on your terms lol

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>>890051
>shooting cats with .303

Rural Canadian detected. Also DO IT

>>890257
>get out and check
Why?

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>>889917
>gf hops out the car
>opens trunk
>gets on floor does the dinosaur

Canada here
Watched a cop mercy kill a deer with a point blank shot to the head before. Had some nice front row seats as they stopped traffic to do it.

>>890768

I'm from rural NC, not Canada. I enjoy the reliability of the Enfield, and it was my first rifle when I turned sixteen. A decade later it's still the only rifle I own and probably will own.

>>890051
Raccoon traps, take into bush and let free or deal justice..

>>890342
Are you Germans authorized to do anything there?

>>890440
In my case a pigeon flew into wall of the house.
Fucking birds, man.

>>890809
in my state i am allowed to livecatch and kill rabbits, foxes and beech martens on my property if i feel harmed by them and if my property is inside a community
we are also allowed to trap rats and mice
and i think we are allowed to slaughter our rabbits and chickens

we are not allowed to harm animals otherwise without a just cause like in selfdefence

for fishing and hunting you have to take lessons and pass an exam
the fishing exam is cheap and easy so there are still many idiots who fuck around with fish

>>890001
>Get stopped by police in routine traffic stop
>They spot knife
>Brott mot knivlagen (Breaking the knifelaw)
>Pay heavy fine

>>892967
I see this from time to time. what the devil is a "routine traffic stop"?

>>890810
A few years ago when i was still in school every 2 weeks we'd get birds that would fly into the same window in the same classrom until they either died or got bored

>>890713
Use an airsoft gun, one of those high powered bolt action sting even from a bit of distance, you won't kill the cats,you won't go to jail, you won't be heard and the cats will steer clear of your property.

>>890051
my dad just uses those little plastic bb guns that kids play with. he figures an actual pellet gun won't clean kill, but will injure the feral cats to bad. the little plastic bbs get their attention. he even got my grandma one and she does it too now.

>>890783
Didn't know if I had killed it or maimed it. It's fucked up to leave that shit to die a slow agonizing death if you can help it.

>>890052
fucking sociopaths aka nice guys

>>890273
Jesús fuck.

>>890401
Did you follow it into the sewer to end it?

>driving inna outback with gf
>speed limit is 100km
>random roo gets startled tries to bound across the road
>if the stupid fucker just kept going it would've been safe
>decides at the last minute to make a sharp U-turn
>it was almost horizontal to the road when I ran over it
>get out of the car to assess the damage
>ran over it cleanly, didn't damage the car at all which is lucky because they can fuck you up at 100km/h
>check on the roo, call it a stupid cunt
>it's trying to crawl away making this awful groaning noise, spine is obviously severed
>gf is hysterical, wants to call the vet to get it some help
>in the middle of the outback
>didn't feel like going out of the way driving it to a vet just so it can shoot it
>tell her to get in the car while I grab my lumpy hammer
>stroke the roo a few times to calm it down before giving it a few love taps to the head
>once it's head is sufficiently destroyed, I hammer throw that fucker into the bush and continue on driving

>>893363
>stroke the roo a few times
pretty gay

>>893363
I call bullshit. I hit a half dead squirrel over the head with a ballpeen hammer and it took so many blows. I just shot it again.

>>893365
i like the idea of killing them softly, no need to let them suffer.

>>893381
it's not my fault if you're a soft cock, besides a lumpy is bigger than a ballpeen hammer. First blow knocked an eye out of it's socket, by the 4th or 5th blow had most of the skull caved and was just leaking grey matter

>>893017
>driving to lake in upstate NY with 4 of my friends in the car
>its a beautiful day, everyone is pumped
>in the left lane of the interstate, slowly overtaking a 18 wheeler on the right maybe 200 ft ahead
>hill slopes up to the left, see a big bird launch itself off a tree
>its a real big bird
>realize its a bald eagle, its swooping down over the road
>excitedly tell everyone in the car to check out the bald eagle
>looks majestic as fuck
>realize it is getting pretty low
>realize it is on a collision course with the 18wheeler
>eagle realizes it too, tries to pull up last second
>can't
>gets smoked by the top of the cab, goes straight up and over the trailer then hits the dirt on the right side of the road just as we are passing
>ride the rest of the way to the lake in silence

I had always though eagles and hawks were smarter than other birds but I guess they are just as dumb

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>>889896

>>892967
The cops stop people to make sure they're not drunk.

>>893654
I thought that was illegal. You know, The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

>>890273
What a stupid cunt.

>>890713
Is it illegal to kill any animals that go into your property? I mean technically they can hurt you or damage property.

>>893363
>Roo
What is that?

>>893698
A sauce thickener.

>>893703
Lol

>>889907
Lel, not running over it again.

>>890401
[muffled teenage mutant ninja geckos theme]

>>889887
For future reference, most normal people will stop reading your post when you use a word like "xboxhueg."

>>893698
Think about it
>outback
>calling someone a cunt
Where could this be? And what animal with "roo" in its name lives there?

>>889887

You forgot the part where he fucked your gf while you waited in your cuck shed.

>>894434
Kek

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>worked at a remote summer camp in the mountains this past summer as maintenance guy
>bored on day so decide to clean the gigantic fucking windows of the main lodge that face north and south
Pic related is the lodge
>clean em up so clean you don't know there is glass there
>finish up and kick back on the balcony and start widdling some cool hiking sticks I've been working on
>widdling away and I hear a thump on the window and a bird falls down next to me with possible brain damage
>mercy kill him with my hiking stick and toss carcass into nearby bush
>go back to widdling
>20 minutes later another bird tries to fly through my squeaky clean windows
>gets mercy deaded and tossed in to bush
>go back to widdlin'
>Cute as fuck camp counselor comes up and sits with me to chat
>flirting a little bit, talking bout going on a hike after dinner
>THUMP
>quick mercy kill and toss into bush
>"OH MY GOD ANON, YOU JUST KILLED THAT POOR BIRD!!! WE COULDVE NURSED HIM BACK TO HEALTH!!! YOURE AN ASSHOLE!!!"
>cutie stomps off and doesn't talk to me for a couple days
>eventually she apologizes for outbursting and suggests we go on that hike later after dinner
>take her to my secret treehouse I built innawoods in my spare time
>try to put some pimp ass moves on her
>"OMIGOD ANON, I CANT, IM MORMON YOU PERVERT!!!!"
>I can't win

>>894332
For future reference, most normal people will think it's weird but ultimately not care.

>>890796
Why do you spell neighbor and neighborhood in the Canadian way?

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>>889887
Work in the military here in Sweden and one day one of our guys shows up late. Reason he was late was that he hit a fox with his car and had to mercy kill it, with a fucking axe. Poor thing broke its spine and couldn't even get off the road.
He even went to get the axe from his car when we didn't believe his story.

>that axe now hangs on his wall with some of the blood still on it.

>>894741
was he a fuckup? why didn't you beleive him? if a guy showed up late once a year and blamed it on aliens I would tell him to just fall in.

>>894746
He is in no way a fuckup. It just seemd so unlike him casually killing something with an axe. The whole having an axe in his car thing seemed wierd at the time as well.

>>894747
lol.. swedish military presumed unable to kill an animal.

I was implying that, as a squad leader, if one of my guys shows up late I don't even ask why. first one is free. I only care when it becomes a habit.

>>894750
> presumed unable to kill an animal.
Most humans are trash and I couldn't care less if one dies. Animals however are not.

>>894712

>Canadian way

It's the English spelling, moron.

>>894653
>widdling
whittling

>>889897
2nd

>>894870
Oh gawd I'm sarry. Thank u, deer speling notsee for cerrecting my sperring fur me.

>>889887
Did the guy fuck your girlfriend later you massive beta male?

>>894653
SOME YOU WIN
SOME YOU LOSE

>>889887
I had to put down my dog, which was about the size of a badger. It only took a couple of hits, but yeah it too is messy to behold.

>>894653
I can appreciate the birds, but you if you are trying to get pussy as a janitor you need some leverage. This is why god created cannabis along with those magic golden tablets no one ever saw.

>be me
>have mouse problem because niggers next door always have overflowing trash cans
>start feeding feral cats
>have like 7-8 that hang out on my porch when i get home for free cat food.
>havent seen a mouse in weeks not counting the one I saw a cat gnawing on in my front yard the other day
feels good man.

>>893660
>thinking that most police deeply care about your constitutional rights

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>>895186
Fucks sakes. Use a gun, dipshit.

>>889897
this. your gf was testing you. needless to say she got piped later that night

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kEZBbxe1BA

>>895333
haha

>>889887
Negan?

>>894653
How do I get a job like this?

>>894332
For future reference, most normal people won't be on 4chan.

>>893410
>>speed limit is 100km
>>random roo gets startled tries to bound across the road
>>if the stupid fucker just kept going it would've been safe
>>decides at the last minute to make a sharp U-turn
>>it was almost horizontal to the road when I ran over it
>>get out of the car to assess the damage
>>ran over it cleanly, didn't damage the car at all which is lucky because they can fuck you up at 100km/h
>>check on the roo, call it a stupid cunt
>>it's trying to crawl away making this awful groaning noise, spine is obviously severed
>>gf is hysterical, wants to call the vet to get it some help
>>in the middle of the outback
>>didn't feel like going out of the way driving it to a vet just so it can shoot it
>>tell her to get in the car while I grab my lumpy hammer
>>stroke the roo a few times to calm it down before giving it a few love taps to the head

A bald eagle did the same thing to me in Maine but was able to pull out.

They're fucking retarded.

>>890066
airsoft rifle

>>894431
Argentina?

A few years ago I was driving home late at night going like 50 & a deer ran out from the woods and jumped right onto the hood of my car. It did like 3 and half fucking backflips and Ill never forget seeing it's legs just flying everywhere right over my windshield. It landed right in the middle of the other lane, and fucked up my car. That fucker died on impact but if he somehow survived I would've enjoyed the fact it was suffering after fucking my shit up and endangering me and the people in the cars around me. Totally different from a badger but I guess not all roadkill deserves mercy in my opinion. Plus the body landed in the middle of the lane which was hazardous to everyone on that road till it was moved.
Fuck that deer, fuck mercy.

>>890296

Is there a reason why they tend to be so irrational and generally stupid as all hell?

Every single one I met can reason things out when given basic information, but when given a more general scenario it's like their judgement goes completely haywire and they can't think rationally.

>>890713

Fashion a blowpipe out of electric tubing.
Roll paper blow darts from junk mail
Shoot paper darts at cats, make sure not to hit them in the eye.

>>893363

What a waste of a good hammer.

>>892967
>Having a knife in the car for general tool purposes
>Brott mot knivlagen

Nej anon, så funkar det inte

>>896558
You should have at least moved the corpse of the poor little animal you murdered. People like you that leave roadkill on the road where anyone else can hit it should be shot. As you said it endangers lives.

>>896572
They are the worst.
Spit out a few kids, have no reason to live once they get to a certain age, go batshit crazy because life has no meaning anymore. Then menopause.... where thir brains litterally melt.
Fuck, I might be MGTOW

>>890060
Holy fuck, i thought this was a picture of some bandaged dick and balls poking through the wall.

Took me a good 30 seconds to figure out what it was.

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>>896654

>>896636
You can't walk on that road it barely fits two lanes as it is

>>896558
Like it knows any better. Not saying you have to feel bad about it but if it hadn't died on impact it certainly would've deserved mercy.

>be me 2 months ago
>driving home from work
>live in the rural
>deer darts out infront of car
>hit the damn thing
>its back is broken and is making this horrid gurgling sound and weezing
>cant stand the thought of it suffering in the middle of road
>notice i left my rifle at my cabin
>spend the next 3 min beating deers head with metal shovel.
>drive home crying.

>>896829
How hard is it to kill something by hand? All you anons keep saying you smashed there hears with hammers and spades and tyre irons and it took ages to kill. Like wtf, ate you all weak af? In my city drunk kids get king punched once in the head and insta dead, or trip and hit pavement and insta kill.

/out/ I am ashamed of you.

>>890051
If you want to kill cats just dissolve some asprin in a bowl of milk and put it where you're dog can't reach. Cats and Acetaminophen don't mix.

>>896924
*your

>>896923
I feel like with a shovel especially you could bring it down sideways full force on the neck a few times and call it a day.

>>896984
Or a hammer. The guy that said he bashed it 10-20 times and it still wasnt dead must never lift. I could kill anyone in this thread with a couple of whacks from a hammer. The fact that none of you can easily put down animals says Alot about the soet of /out/doorsman on this board.

>>896924
Is this real?
Do you know how to easily kill magpies/crows/ravens with no projectile weapons.

>>896924
>Aspirin
>Acetaminophen
Well which one faggot

>>895295
I fucking hate these half-literate fuckers coming here to live their /x/ fantasies through their stupid ass fanfictions.

When I was 12, a fox got run over on the road in front of my house and broke it's back legs. It was wheezing up blood and trying to walk with only two front legs. i was home alone and freaked out and got the .410 and blasted him right there on the road.
Kinda fucked with me for a bit at the time, first time mercy killing something.

>>889887
Guy (hunter) at work said he hit a deer with his car, "panicked" and tried to stab it to death with a mora knife.

>>889887
As Swe living on the countryside I always have a knife and axe in my truck for this purpose. If you gonna live in cuckistan I mean Sweden and the countryside that is basicly one giant forest/mountain. You better have a knife at all times you never know when you gonna need it. Be it mercy kill or making gypsies fuck off.

>>896923
Not him but animals are reasonably robust. You'd be forgiven for thinking that they're made specifically not to die. I've never killed a human nor do I want to but I can imagine the same thing applies there.

That being said, death spasms are fairly normal and most people I've been with think the animal is still alive because of it. As I've had to explain to a friend of a friend, yes, the mink is dead. No, it's not unusual to see it move without its head. No, I don't think it's creepy.

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>>890401
>mfw imagining anon trying to hunt down this rabbit with tribal music playing in the background

>>889887
OP is fag

>be in desolate rural norway at night
>driving around with two colleagues and a patient
>cabin trip aka isolation because of previous suicide attempts
>60 yo woman driving
>real foggy, dark and wet out
>a flock of five deer jumps across the road
>i sit in the back seat
>manage to rise, point and say WATCH OUT, STOP
>old bitch so slow that the ABS didn't even kick in
>BOINK, bambi flies
>patient screaming
>driver in shock
>tell my other colleague to call the police
>deer head is turned 180 degrees and it's just spinning around in circles on the ground
>grab the jack from trunk
>kneel on the animal, look into it's eyes and bash it's head in
>took fucking more hits than expected
>look like a movie murderer afterwards, covered in blood
>patient in shock

that fucking sucked, but i would've done it again. always keep a hatchet in my car after this incident. seriously op, you are a gigantic selfish fag for being so alienated from the realities that ending suffering isn't just an instant response.

>all these eurofags ITT that had to cause the animals more suffering while "mercy" killing them with blunt trauma instead of quickly and painlessly dispatching them with a gun
bunch of faggots.

>>890875
>trap rats and mice
You mean you have to catch and release them???

>>898059
European here, I have a shotgun license but I still choose not to have it in my car. I keep a leatherman, a wrench and a hammer in my car, I'm able to kill critters just fine with those.

>>895300
lmfao

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395KB, 640x480px

>>889887
i laughed fucking hard at this

>>898289
Eurobro, please put in 24" (metric conversion factor, now Mr. Sulu!) bolt cutters?

>and God said, "I give you leverage."

> inna northern Wisconsin
> on every back country road because we are blazing drunk avoiding the cops
> with me coming home from the bar is my bud Jake
> he is just as wasted as me.
> suddenly I see wings and tails
> THUMP THUMP THUMP!
> stop truck
> we get out and spot 3 pheasants
> we jumped and hit a whole flock
> 2 or still moving
> Jake takes 1 I take the other and pull the neck
> 3rd ins in rough shape but salvageable
> Look over at Jake
> "You want some deep fried pheasant, and cheesecurds?
> Jake: "Fuckin-A-Rite-Bud"

Had a good dinner.

>>890342
>>890383
Is this true? Here in Norway it is legal to kill it yourself.

You're supposed to report it if it's a pet or game animal though.

>>889887

I killed a deer that way in front of a bunch of kids once, but being wisconsin, one of them called their dad and he met me there and I helped him throw it in his truck to bring home and make dog food.