You're stuck in the jungle

>>883248
Edward Michael "Bear" Grylls, so I can kill him and claim it was an accident.

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>>883248
Is this even a question? Ed Stafford! He is #1 Jungle expert.

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ray. there's no other choice

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>>883248
>>883287
You know that Ray is fake, right?

>>883248
He's fat because he drives to location and his crew carries all his shit.

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>>883291
ray never says that he goes out into the forests and survives on his own, he's just shows techniques, retard.
>>883292
nope. he carries a backpack around a lot.

Les Stroud because he doesn't need an entire camera crew worth of supplies to make it look like hes actually surviving.

I got respect for Ray and all, but I feel like without all of the supplies hes spood fed, he wouldn't last long.

> 1 month
> bringing a dude
Survival Lilly, you unregulated homos!

>>883248
>>>883248
>Edward Michael "Bear" Grylls, so I can kill him and claim it was an accident.
This

I would never bring some tv celeb with me to a tropical jungle, those hacks don't know shit. I'll take an indigenous bushman over any pasty tv celeb, especially in a tropical jungle

the guy from primitive technology on youtube

>>883291
hes an academic and one of a very high degree. its difficult to gauge wilderness professionals because of how little "success" they can make claim to. an engineer can build a functioning car and put it on his resume, but survivalists cant put their knowledge on a resume like that

the moment i knew ray mears wasnt a fake, is when i saw him filet a salmon on a beach in one of his shows. there arent many chefs in the world that filet that cleanly.

my media-represented teacher (in his prime) would be mors kochanski. the moment i knew he was real was when i saw him bundle and light a torch of sticks in the canadian frost. it was a simple task that anyone could do, but the way he put it together made it obvious he had done it possibly thousands of times before.

there are many masters, all who wouldnt let you down

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ruUN0dy-Sg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xr5cHJHE6nA

>>883309
>thinking Lily isn't a lesbian
Anon...

Joe Robinet, not that famous, but has been on TV and has a large youtube following

>>883649
excuse my passive aggression, but thats an interesting choice

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>>883248
This man.
The calm of his voice and his acceptance of reality is just astonishing. He's been working all his life and lived through stuff, which'd give most of the common people a personality crippled by trauma.
He on the other hand had no choice, he had to adapt and accept nature's cruelty in order to surive.

>1970
>20 years old
>Get traps, some money in advance ,a gun and Stove. Tools are in the cabin
>You and 20 yr old partner get into chopper and are dropped in the middle of fucking nowhere
>No radio nothing, only a promise for new supplies on new year's eve
>Partner dies of starvation
>No supplies on new year's eve
>Winter
>Don't even have winter clothes
>August 5-Februar 20

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbhPIK-oBvA

>>883684
He lives about an hour and a half from where I live.

>>883294
Full of snacks and a GPS.

>>883610
Filleting a salmon makes no sense in a survival situation, wasting all those calories. So what, he can do something a good chef can so he's a survival expert? TOPKEK

>>883248
A month? The sexiest female survivalist I can find. I'm pretty confident in my own skills and depending on the location and my own supplies, I can do a month solo easy.
Probably not getting laid, but just having a female around is enough for masturbatory purposes.

>>883997

People that don't bring snacks and a GPS while going /out/ are what we called "retarded"

I'm sure you're very familiar with the term.

>>883999
obviously unlike you, i know that discerning professionals lies in the nuances that suggest experience. surely you know no professionalism in anything

>>884038
>GPS
not using a compass...
.
.
.
........ retarded

Bear Grylls is the only real choice

>>883553
He would be fucking useless in a jungle. That's a retarded choice.

>>883553
I second that.

>>883614
> thinking you can't fuck lezzies

Anon....

>>884100
So you would pick someone who is a soft fat lazy piece of shit because he's clearly spent a lot of time in a kitchen? You really are a fucking retard.

>>884329
i didnt pick ray mears, but i did pick a bent over 80odd year old man. get off this board

>>884411
>Picked an 80 y/o
Congrats?
>Leave
No
>11
Waste of dubs

>>884426
triple dubs you commie

>>884411
You want to bend over an 80 year old man and fuck him for a month?

>>883248
he will bugger your ass tho

Les Stroud hands down

Dave Canterbury

>>883610
I filleted some fish a couple times, I must be a survival god

I got to go with Les Stroud as well.

My choice, Xena: The Warrior Princess

> as real as any other fake itt
> plus tits and vagoo

>>883834
What, how do you even have internet there?

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>>884426
at least you reminded me to check em

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I have no idea who she is, but she looks like she could teach me some things...

>>884954
Looks like when she takes her bra off those titties hit the floor. look at her upper arms and picture 10x more mass sagging.

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>>883248

>>884900
Second this

>>885013
lol'd

Pic is accurate.

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>>884997
> wow, this stinks like shit
> smell it

No thanks, source considered.

My choice, stock pic related.

>>884997
I'll still take it. Older women have their shit sorted out moreso than girls. They get dem horny hormones and if they are post menopausal you will never have to deal with a pregnant cunt craving Ben & Jerry's at 2am on a desert island.

>>884917
that snide response suggests you arent

>>884952
Not him, but satellite internet is a thing. It's what most people outside of the cities use.

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>>883309

Ray mear because we could put him on a diet when there is not enough food for both of us. Also he could go the longest without food before resorting to cannibalism.