Bigfoot stories

>I got hired to write a book about Bigfoot encounters
How much you get for that?

>>816925
Well I already finished the first one yesterday
It was 14.000 words = 140$
I got hired to write another about that's 12.000 words, but I ran out of good shit

So I was wondering if /out/ had any good yeti stories

>>816931
>It was 14.000 words = 140$

Is this a book or a pamphlet?

>I got hired to write another about that's 12.000 words, but I ran out of good shit

Who the fuck is hiring this shit out and paying so low? Are you parents just paying you to do something other than chronically masturbating?

>>816943
It's not a low pay
I can write 10.000 words in a day, its a cakewalk
It's great money

>Is this a book or a pamphlet?
E-books are a huge thing now
People flock to e-books like crazy and we live in a fast world where people don't have the time to read a 10 billion word book but they do have their phone with them 24/7

It's a massive business, I was really surprised myself

>>816946
>I can write 10.000 words in a day, its a cakewalk

If you work 12+ hours for 10k words at your rate of 100$ per day, you'll be working less than minimum wage in no time. If you work 10 hours, you'll hit 10$/h. You can practically find any entry-level job at 10-13$/h. It's pretty low paying.

>>816951
Yes BUT in my country, minimum wage is like 200 euro a month

I make at least 400$ a month from this guy + all the other shit I do on the side

It's pretty good from my perspective
What the fuck is minimum wage in your place then?

>>816914
bigfoot molested me

>lived with my uncle in the saskatchewan wilderness for most of my childhood
>one night bigfoot sneaks into my bedroom and had his way with me; i couldn't see, but he was big and hairy
>i tell my uncle the next morning about my squatch suspicions, so he got his gun and we looked for the bigfoot for the next few weeks
>never got molested again

i've hunted for years for that cocksucker bigfoot but i still haven't found him

>>816963
Haha this would be an epic story man
Thx

>>816914
>Gets hired to write a book
>Knows fuck all about the subject
>encounters and shit
>writer

Seems legit. Do your own homework faggot.

>>816914
>Hey /out/ I got hired to write a book about Bigfoot encounters
Is this one of those squatch sex books? From what I've been told there is a market for that for who knows what reason.

>>816963
What size shoe does your uncle wear?

>>816914
You should just steal those """Search and Rescue""" stories from Reddit. I highly doubt the validity of it, but they are some bretty good stories.

And if you make a bigfoot thread, people are going to talk shit, but there are some stories in the "spoopy innawoods experiences" threads that aren't bad. I'm sure the last one that made it to 300+ replies is still in the archives.

>>816914
> shit
> fags

We have another Hemingway!

>>816914
i have a pretty big foot

>>816914
Never seen bigfoot.

Looked for years and years, decade upon decade.

One day out in the woods, trip on a rock and fall off a cliff. Land on big foot.

No one survived, not even Willy.

>>817187
Kek.

OP write a story about this post. Please.

>>817169
>spoopy innawoods experiences" threads that aren't bad.
Those threads could be named "assorted animals making noises, schizophrenia, and liars" and be accurate.

>>817252
OP could probably use his imagination to make them more interesting though.

He's looking in the wrong place anyway. We /skinwalker/ over here.

>>817252
i remember back in the days larping something funny happened

so the organizers decided to put a curse on me it was part of the script. after the ritual i was turned into a bloodthirsty werewolf only magical weapons could kill.
it was meant to be a sideshow as fucking everyone and their dog had magical weapons pretty soon as one of the fuckers hinted what's up.
i should have just went on a rampage and killed in a heroic but short battle.
but i thought otherwise.
i decided to turn this high-fantasy bullshit into a real horror fest.
so i got into the woods and it got dark as they searched for me. braver at first then they got more and more fearful as they couldn't find me.
i sometimes howled when nobody was around funniest thing is some fucking trolls howled too so the "hunters" were completely dumbfounded where i would be. they started to imagine i was running through the woods at neck-breaking speed completely silent like a shadow.
their voices became more and more fearful and hysterical as the minutes went by and complete darkness fell.
i did not get many victims because i'm not an ninja but that people started to spread bullshit rumors and only dared move in large groups with torches between camps really helped build up the atmosphere.
i remember laying low sticking to the ground when they thought they had cornered me and i couldn't move risking making sounds.
they really got creeped out. and as these things go they suddenly really had to pee. they looked everywhere even in the treetops. some guys met foxes or some other animal that had shiny eyes and literally pissed themselves.
some tried to pee and started begging to me not to jump on them while they did so. this was so hilarious i did so little and the fear grew so big i nearly snickered i had to bite on my fist.
shit was awesome.

>>817329
contd.
so here is the real kicker, when i finally fucked up and ran into a large group of "heroes" that used their fucking cell phone to light the path in closed formation and couldn't see beyond their shoes came across me on a road (i had to use roads to move silently i'm no ninja as i mentioned) so i fucked up i huddled down on the roadside covering my face and eyes looking like a rock or something in the dark.
as they came close like a feet away i sprung up growled and started tearing into them.
now they hysterically started to stab me with blessed weapons but i got more than a few i war pretty worked up and only used my fingers but i think they got bruises and shit well me too.
they told me later as i looked up into the phones light my eyes lit up blue and otherworldly and when i growled and jumped on them (they were smaller kids so i was basically towering over them too) some did shit his pants.

>>817340
Fun story

How is this related though

>>817489
Sasqiaych is his dad and picked him up afterwards.

Reinhold messner thinks big foot Is just a bear

>>817812
They are technically in the bear family but are a separate species. They're the bear version of apes, like how the goat family has a sabertooth cat looking thing a few million years back Ursa susquola is the technical name for a pnw sanswinch.

I've met about a dozen simsquonks in my time and I really wish I hadn't. They're all assholes and not one of them knew how to shut the fuck up.

>>817489
it's related i guess how people are way more scared of their imagination and from things they can't see than anything made real. something to consider if you write stuff or spooked by monsters that don't exist.

I was only 9 years old I loved bigfoot so much, I had all the merchandise and movies
I pray to bigfoot every night before bed thanking him for the life I've been given.
Bigfoot is love I say, bigfoot is life
My dad overhears me and calls me a faggot
I knew he was just jealous of my devotion for bigfoot
I called him a cunt
He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep
Im crying now, and my face hurts
I lay in bed and its really cold
A warmth is moving towards me.
I feel something touch me
Its bigfoot
I am so happy
He whispers in to ear "this is my wilderness"
He grabs me with his powerful sasquatch hands and puts me on my hands and knees
I'm ready
I spread my ass cheeks for bigfoot
He penetrates my butthole
It hurts so much but I do it for bigfoot
I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water
I push against his force
I want to please bigfoot
He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his love
My dad walks in
Bigfoot looks him straight in the eye and says "Its not over yetti"
Bigfoot leaves through my window
Bigfoot is love, bigfoot is life

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I got this photo of bigfoot but the quality isn't great, the creature disappeared into the scrub shortly later, feel free to use this image in your book

>>817918
I believe you. The green color might make this seem fake to some people at first, but if you think about it it actually makes sense. My friend has a biology phd and told me squeemspunks can change color at will like a cephalopod and that's why they're so hard to see. Their hairs are actually translucent like polar bears so their color changing skin takes effect.

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>>817916

>>817340
Larping sounds fun as fuck

>>817918
This is my favourite pepe

You idiots in this thread can make fun of sasquatch all you want, samefag all you want its obvious the guy that keeps misspelling sasquatch like its the funniest thing in the world but its obvious its the same retard with the same joke replying to himself over and over. It's easy to laugh about this because its something the mainstream told you is laughable even though none of you have any first hand experience and likely take every debunkers guesswork as literal fact even though its just as much a guess and just as much valid as anyone else's opinion on the matter. How do you explain literal thousands of sightings going all the way back to native American times (what the name sasquatch comes from) and from people of every page all of life including people that were hard or skeptics? Where there's smoke there's fire and I bet all you people making fun of people for seeing things they can't explain and having the conviction and maturity to admit they can't explain them have never even been outdoors for more than a day hike if that, grow up. There's a lot out there we know nothing about and to think that we see everything is pure human hubris. Not only is 90% of the PNW undeveloped but its some of the densest tree cover in the entire world. People will point out that there are logging trails within 20 miles most places but have never been down any of them themselves, they're just large enough for logging operations to get through and you can hike for weeks any never see anyone else, plus during use do you really think that a creature like a sasquatch wouldn't be intelligent enough to stay away from.the machines it can hear from five miles away? Use your fucking brains. People that are belligerent about the nonexistence of sasquatch are just as annoying as militant atheists and ten times as dumb. There's far more evidence of sasquatch anyway, go google it sometimes there's literal novels worth of info for anyone that wants to cure their ignorance.

>>817991
>How do you explain literal thousands of sightings going all the way back to native American times
peyote and mushrooms

>>817991
>Where there's smoke there's fire
no bones found of a large ape from the region from any period. nope.

>>817993
Hallucinogenic mushrooms are not native to the americas and peyote is too far south. Plus none of the documented sightings of antiquity involved use of drugs.

>>817995
And how many anthropological digs? Burial ceremonies where remains are moved after death explain that away neatly, next.

>>817959
Is that chris-chan?

>>816959
Not sure but I make around $2000 a week.

>>817998
>Hallucinogenic mushrooms are not native to the americas

ummm...yeah, they are. hell, im still not convinced that they're native to pre Columbian Europe.

i agree with you about Bigfoot though.

>>818655
it's a funny thing you know i like to consider myself a person that only believes in what he can see, but i never fucking seen an electron or a proton or molecular binding. i see no reason to believe in things that have no hard evidence and utterly impractical to our daily lives or scientific understanding anyways.

so believing in fairies unicorns and bigfoot or even god is not for me. even tho nobody can prove they don't exist.

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I hear Bigfoot was recently hired to act in the latest Ghostbusters movie.

>>818721
He just said he agreed with you about bigfoot you sweaty nerd

>>818870
no that's an other anon...
i'm the one that suggested mushrooms.

>>817991
I was reading through the Bigfoot thread on /x/, and I'm open-minded but not a believer of any of this stuff. After listening to both sides, I don't think Bigfoot exists in the US. I'm guessing some people believe they saw Bigfoot but it was eithet a large bear or somebody trolling them. Everybody has a high definition video camera in their pocket these days and we don't even have a good pic or video.

At this point, I think the H2 Ancient Alien theories on Bigfoot are more likely than a natural upright ape. There are a lot of people in this country, and despite it being dense forest, it isn't tropical where anything dead disappears in 48hrs. Somebody would find something if there was a sustainable population.

>>818964
this!
even "ghost" leopard have hidef pictures and video taken even tho they are elusive as fuck and have super cat stealth.

>>818968
Same anon here. I used to compare it to the giant squid but as time goes by I can't even justify it that way anymore. The ocean is a lot different than the woods of the PNW (and especially Ohio and all these other places claims come from) and even before capturing a live squid on video and getting a whole body, they were getting parts of them for years.

Every day that goes by where somebody doesn't snap a halfway decent pic of a bugfoot on their 10MP camera phone, it becomes that much less likely that tjey exist.

Not to mention with the Bigfoot TV shows and all that shit, we have a lot or people actively searching for the things but they just keep coming up with more claims and no evidence.

I was really intrigued by the couple Les Strout episodes about bigfoot but tjat was just another one that came up with nothing besides more claims.