Using a LASERto blind a bear

>>779346
I think it would be extremely difficult to blind a charging bear with this. Just use bear spray. It'll be easier to hit them with and they won't be permanently blinded.

>ITT another terrible anti bear idea of /out/

>>779346
Is this b8? Are you literally retarded?

I hate single use gear, but this could also work for signalling and with 85 mile range, work farther than bear spray.

You could literally deter them BEFORE there become a threat!

Works on methheads, too.

Closest thing to a real lightsaber!

>>779361
speaking of is there any video of bear spray being used successfully?

Not to seem sadistic about a bear being sprayed, Im wondering how this whole situation looks like.

>>779346
Just get bearound spray you sick fuck

>>779401
Spray, great keyboard these phones have, always assume they know what I want to say

>>779379
I'd like to see a video of a bear being TASERED.

I may start carrying a TASER and pepper spray.

Pepper spray for unleashed dogs and TASER for bears.

>>779401
What is "bearound" spray?

>>779450
As I explained earlier, my keyboard autocorrected bearspray

>>779346
50-150W required to reliably blind
it's a retarded idea tho, even a blind bear can tear you apart and your chances are slim to even get a good beam in the eye.

Last time I visited /out, somebody suggested a fucking sword as bear repellent. This time its lasers beams. I wonder what it will be next time? Maybe take a swedish guy with u and if bear attacks, offer swedes anus for him?

>>779498
>50-150W needed

Citation needed.

>>779524
> implying Swedish anus is cooler than lasers

Also, lasers!

I wish it was against the law to sell these because unlike weapons, retards use these willy nilly without having any understanding of how dangerous high power lasers are.

My career involves using high powered lasers daily and they're tools that you treat with respect and undergo safety training to use, not toys that you shine out your windows to annoy some squirrels.

>>779498

You have no fucking idea what you're talking about, ~10 mW of any visible wavelength in your eye for a short period can cause permanent blindspots. Next time shut the fuck up and don't say stupid shit that can get somebody hurt.

>>779527
sauce: the military that tried to blind enemy pilots and combatants with lasers
>>779589
>can cause
>reliably blind
see what i did there?

>>779589
also anything above 1mW can theoretically cause permanent damage
it's why i break the hand of any faggot that waves a pointer in my way.

but that's a different thing not what we talked about.

>>779594

Even if you move the goalposts like a bitch you're still wrong, so fuck off.

And your 'citation' is shit.

>>779598
i did not move any goalposts at all i carefully considered what i was talking about.
if you purposefully want to blind you need 50+W lasers. that is no absolute guarantee either.

>>779498
I think a blind bear would easily be avoided.

Run behind a tree and BONK , they knock themselves out running into it!

Stupid blind bears!

>>779524
i carry an enchanted polaroid camera that i flash at bears with and trap their souls in the photos

the photos are really good to put bear curses on people you don't like as well so that's an added benefit

>>779602

Again, you're wrong and saying stupid shit that can get people hurt.

Take your misinformation and fuck off out of this thread.

>>779598

ANSI MPE for 400 to 700 nm is 1.0E-7 J

1 W = 1 J/s

So if you take over .0000001 W for 1 second, you're over your daily limit, and eye damage can occur.

That's a hell of a lot less than "100 Watts" quoted by captain fucktard up there.

Source: I have my ANSI guidelines open right now.

>>779597

Meant to quote you in this post, not my own post.

>>779605

>>779401
Or a gun. I get for bears bear spray works well, but it does fuck all to mountain lions.

>>779604
While your post is b8/utter stupidity you touch on a very safe and reliable way to 'stun' a bear long enough to get to safety.
The Vivitar 283 flash will temporarily blind a bear and you can escape.

I don't work with lasers and don't have ansi guidelines and even I know a two watt laser will fuck you blind!

But for non-lethal defense should work well for: crackwhores, methheads, skinwalkers, niggers, bears, rabid coyotes and homo rapists!

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>>779611
Ah yes, the old Vivitar trick.

That or the Vulcan Neck Pinch...

>>779346
Just buy a gun and shoot the thing

This laser could be used to blind unleashed dogs on the trail!

2 thumbs up!

>>779346
>>779361
Rubbing peanut butter on its nose will be better effect.

regarding bear encounters, assuming you're unarmed, is it better to play dead or to run for it? i remember some kid surviving a bear encounter because he played dead and when interviewed he said he learned that from playing world of warcraft.

>>779611
im putting a bear curse on you buddy check your head for lice tomorrow

>>779697
Sounds legit. I take most my survival info from vidya games... and 4chan/out/, of course.

Like Tasering a grizzly, good info right there.

This is not effective. Most bears are part of a "bear hive", and in dozens if not hundreds of bears living and thriving together. If you attack one or anger one, the rest of the bear hive will attack. You cannot blind that many bears. If you encounter a bear it is important that you have kept napalm soaked rice with you. You can ignite the rice and slice the bag open creating a wall of protective fire against the bear hive.

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>>779611
this is what I want to see a video of, a guy trying this with a pissed grizzly

OP go to a zoo with a laser pointer and test it out on the bears and lions and shit

>>779605
>Again, you're wrong and saying stupid shit that can get people hurt.
i said no such thing
like i said here >>779597 even 1 milliwatt is dangerous pretty much everyone knows that.
no 1mw laser will result however in immediate blindness you retarded faggot think before you fucking type you nigger cunt i have had it with people that can't use their fucking brain for shits.

>>779603
if that is the game you want to play be sure you get both tiny eyes

>>779598
look up military dazzlers they don't actually aim for permanent eye damage at all just enough irritation to cause you discomfort.

they typically go n the 200-250mW range
you need above 1W lasers to make sure you cause blindness, 50W-150W lasers might be overkill for bears as they are meant to harm pilots from several km-es and you probably gonna use it on the bear within a 100m, but then again if you want to unfocus it into a cone to have better chance of hitting the eyes you need the high wattage once again.

>>779346

Why not use an aerosol and a lighter? Bears won't charge a roaring fireball.

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Sup, I'm just passing by to say this won't work, I have a 1.2W blue laser, and a 200mW red and green laser, and my idiot friend accidentally pointed the blue one in my eye for a sec, I didn't go blind, not even close, to make a bear blind you would have to shine the dot directly in the iris for at least 20 sec my guess

>>779822
>>779817

Military eye dazzlers are not a collimated beam of light like a laser, that energy is dispersed across an extremely large area.

250 mW output over a broad area is almost nothing by the time it reaches your eyeball.

The danger from lasers is the fact that the light is collimated, and all of the energy gets put onto your retina in a very tight area after it's focused by your eyeball.

You absolutely do not need 1 W to cause blindness.

People have had permanent blindness from fucking 10 mW laserpointers.

>>779968

"1.2 W" as advertised by those fucktard companies likely doesn't actually mean 1.2 W of power.

Trust me, I've worked with >1 W of visible laser power before, it's way more than what you get from those """""""""""""""""""""1 W toys""""""""""""""" that get sold on the market.

>>779697
Grizz attack: Play dead because its most likely defensive.. ie. the grizz is trying to protect territory, a kill, cubs etc. and will fuck off after it no longer sees you as a threat

Black bear attack: very rare but usually predatory. Fight back or get eaten.

Polar Bear: both common and predatory. A 12ga is the recommended medicine.

>>780281
grizzly attack is problematic.

it could be either, you need to keep in mind the behavior that leads to the attack the season like how well fed the bears are. in certain times grizzlies even eat each other. then almost all attacks are predatory. if the attack is predatory don't play dead fight for your life especially if you are armed. if you are not armed then you are a fucking retard to begin with.

>>779649
Not really the point.

>>779803
> laser pointer
Reread.

>>779989
Believeable.

>Laser blindness > bodyslamming

Unrelated question, how much power would a laser need to Blind cheap security cameras?

>>780346
You could easily "flair" them, but to burn out a CMOS or CCD detector would be harder.

>>779346
Why does /out/ make bears outto be such a big deal? I always bring extra food and just put it away from my campsite, usually 200-300 yds is enough. They will leave you alone then.

>>779594
1W directly to the eye will cause temporary blindness from even a passng flash, 5W and above it's looking at permanent damage. Lower wattage just means it takes a little longer to do that scale of damage - you can easily blind yourself with a 20mW laser if you're an idiot.
Source: I work in a high energy laser lab

>>780346
"blind" as in it can't see anything whilst the laser is aimed directly on it, or "blind" as in it's permanently down?
For permanent downing you'll need a lot of power, or an excellent precise focus on to the sensor chip.
Cameras don't work like us, they recover from being overwhelmed with light instantly unless there's so much it literally fried the sensor.

>>779346
you can maybe blind the bear, but it will still smell you.

>>779610
>mountain lions
Who do almost nothing to people
Why are you scared of them?

>>780571
i never said anything to the contrary if you read carefully or bother to read at all.

>>779989
>You absolutely do not need 1 W to cause blindness.
do you read anything i write or just jerk off to your own bullshit?

>>780571
no the fact is blindness from such low powered lasers can take a day to develop and no guarantees at all.

let's say you have a laser cone where you get from 20 meters a feet in diameter (should cover both eyes if lucky) and on the pupil sized surface you get a whooping 1W which is as i said no immediate guaranteed permanent blindness level just a good chance to cause lasting damage.

let's do some math...
1 feet in diameter = 0.786 square feet area
729.9 square centimeters you want about a W per square centimeter to even have a chance of blinding from passing exposure aiming at a running bear with your shaky little hands.

that's you guessed it 700W not particularly man portable to my knowledge.

but even if you divide it to dazzler power it's 175W (in the 50-250W range gee). which by the way is not guaranteed to blind at all. but no fun and games for sure.

at a 100 meters however it would only cause severe discomfort.

>>779524

My grandpa always said "you don't need to outrun the bear, you just need to outrun the guy next to you."

>>780717

What the fuck are you even saying? You're just typing bullshit into the comment box without even forming a coherent sentence.

I am a spectroscopist who uses lasers for a living and I can't even decipher all the incorrect bullshit in your post.

There are multiple people in this thread calling you out on your incorrect bullshit. Go back to bootcamp and quit saying stupid shit that can get people hurt.

Just accept that you have no idea what you're talking about, you got outsmarted on a mongolian underwater chess piece carving forum, and go away.

>>780717

>1 W laser
>low power

LOL

>>780571

You use pulsed lasers or CW? I'm guessing pulsed since you said high energy.

What kind of laser systems do you use?

Wtf is all the bullshit?

Reread my op, a 2W LASRR from Wicked Lasers.

Pulse high energy ain't got shit to do with me blinding bears with my Wicked Laser!

I'm gonna buy one just to blind unleashed dogs!

What about a laser/bear spray combo? OP might be on to something here.

>>781007
> LASER/TASER/PEPPER SPRAY

WTFY.

>>780881
Pulsed laser system (1PW pulses) with a couple cws (300-500mW) scattered around for alignment purposes.
The cws are the ones we worry about accidentally blinding ourselves with typically since nobody should be in the laser area at all when the main pulse is firing.

System is Ti:S front end with OPCPA, then a major CPA Nd:glass amplifier section to get up to full power.

Test it out on one of your eyes to find out

>>781002
hope you gonna get ripped a new hole retard.
fucking kids shouldn't be playing around with lasers.

>>780879
just follow the numbers.
tell me where the elementary math gets too hard.

>>779794
Is that why bears in modern media are often portrayed with honey? Is that what they have at the "bear hive?"

>>779989
>You absolutely do not need 1 W to cause blindness.
>People have had permanent blindness from fucking 10 mW laserpointers.
let's put this into perspective shall we?

here is what i propose you get a 10mW laser pointer, i get an ak47 (cause i like it) with 3 rounds. i start running towards you from 50m when i reach 20m i start shooting.

you have to blind me if you want to live. would you rather have your 10mW laser pointer, or the 700W laser i described here: >>780717

i'm awfully tired of the retardedness in this thread so if you want to try this shit out i'm game. i will bring a shovel let's meet in the woods.

>>781044

>300 mW for alignment

In my lab we use HeNe's with 10 mW for alignment LOL.

>Ti:Saph's

So sorry for your loss. I realize your system is probably nothing like ours, but we have a few Ti:Saph's and they are such utter pieces of shit that they can only be aligned for ~0.5 of one experiment before you look at them wrong and they go so badly out of alignment nothing can get it working again.

I exclusively use argon lasers, fucking love them. Our laser heads have ~5000 hours of on tube time and they still give as much power as the day they were installed 15 years ago.

We have OPOs and OPAs but I've never used them. Sound too complicated to use IMO.

>>781101

let's put this into perspective shall we?

here is what i propose you get your GED, i get my PhD (cause i spent a long time to earn it) with summa cum laude. i start running towards you from 50 m when i reach 20 m i tell you you're wrong because you have no education in the matter you're discussing.

you have to convince me i'm wrong using ANSI guidelines if you want to be victorious in our debate on our vietnamese aerial oyster shucking tip trading forum. would you rather have your GED, or the PhD i described here: >>780571

i'm awfully tired of the retardedness in this thread so if you want to try this shit out i'm game. i will bring my PhD let's meet in the laboratory.

>>782008
but anon, nothing is wrong about ansi guidelines nobody said it's safe to look into low powered lasers ever.

we are talking about relying on a laser device to save your retarded stupid cunt of a life. so no >>781101 is what we gonna do. because that is the only thing reasonably close to try blind a bear to save your ass.

stuff your phd up your boipussy

Op, try it on a squrrill first, my grandpa says even blind ones can find nuts.

>>779346
This seems like an expensive, fragile, difficult to use and generally inferior alternative to chemical agents or firearms.

>>782694
that's putting it mildly
i can see waterguns being more effective

>>779450
>2016
>not using bearound spray

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>>779401
>>779450
>>782701

That's right folks. For just two easy payments of $19.95 we'll not only give you one canister of Bearound Spray, but two! But only if you call within the next 30 minutes. Act now!

And remember, if there's a bear around,
YOU
NEED
BEAROUND

>>782701
>>782709
what we need is artificially recreate the skunk juice.
put it in spray cans.
nothing will ever fuck with humans.

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tight,, circles.
,, once they start chasing the dot,, make the circles closer and closer ,,, FASTER!! after about 2 minutes the Bear will churn,, into Bearbutter. ,,,DELICIOUS!, Tigerbutter dosnt compare.

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>>782203
ARRRGH! mustsave Childrns!!.. matchs DANGEROUS!, you can start a Forrestfire!, badbad!,, if you try to swallow matchs, canchoke!!
,,, and, what abouthat Sun?,, it can BLIND YOU!!, ooooo,, save the BABYS!
,/(dont be anass, withy Laser, Mirror, Strobe, High intensity lite, Flamethrower)
,have,, a niceday.

>>782727
It's nice to know that shit typing doesn't mean you don't read the Classics!

>>779379
Would someone please link the bear spray chick with the voice so annoying you want the bear to face fuck her?

> be me
> put laser on muh AR10
> bears run from my big dick with laser on it

>>779346
PEOPLE

WTF


LOOK UP ON YOUTUBE

"Photonic Disruptor"

WL used to make this but they must have had a contract with the military or something. The device is so effective at blinding. And the beam just covers your whole face..just looks like a green circle. Can't see any features on the face. Matter of fact, fuck it. I'll link it here... let me know what YOU think! This would easily blind a bear...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rn_hMCTS2Eg

>>779346
thats sadistic man

At 2W whoever you point it at will likely be blind for life

>>782727
makes you wonder if you could make a tiger chase a dot.
and lead it all riled up to some unsuspecting cucks ass.

>>784407
You would rather shoot to kill?

>>780424
>I always bring extra food and just put it away from my campsite, usually 200-300 yds is enough.
A sacrifice to the gods of the wild. Well played, sir; well played, indeed. Artemis surely favors you.

>>782727
>>782742
Hi bacon, how's life?

I never really see bears, why should I carry a gun much less a laser?

>>786116
i would be glad to see a bear up close to be honest.
i'm not afraid of them unless you know we are talking about bigger grizzly or polar bear.
i know i can kill a smaller bear up to twice my body-weight above that no guarantees. but i also know most bears wouldn't even dream about attacking me.

>>782002
>we have a few Ti:Saph's and they are such utter pieces of shit that they can only be aligned for ~0.5 of one experiment before you look at them wrong and they go so badly out of alignment nothing can get it working again.
So damn true. Thankfully the Ti:S that seeds the whole system is not my responsibility, so I don't have to worry about that shitfest.
The soul crushing pain on the guys face though when we tell him it's acting up again, he has burnt so many hours of his life on that mess.
Unfortunately I do need it to be working for my main project, fingers crossed it's functional when I need it.

>In my lab we use HeNe's with 10 mW for alignment LOL.
The short pulse beamline is a mess of spaghetti probably at least half a km long in total, a 10mW just wouldn't cut it. Also beam diameter goes as high as half a metre, that's a lot of spread.
There's actually a random scattering of HeNes around the place, think they used to be a major part of alignment before I started here, but they definitely aren't used any more.

Haven't had the pleasure of working with an argon laser, but I've only heard good things about them.

OPA isn't that bad, the crystals are more high maintenance than a girlfriend but when they work, they work well.

>>782008
What on earth are you saying? Can't figure out why you've replied to me in that post.

Let's see what we have learned:

> bears represent all of /out/'s fears in one fuzzy package
> a blind bear is better than a dead bear
> a blind bear can still forage
> a blind bear is less of a threat
> Tasers don't work on black crackheads they won't work on bears
> Laser nerds are pendantic fucks

Anything else?

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>>786950
>anything else?

You literally have nothing to fear from bears, pic related. Blinding them would be cruel.

>>786950
>Laser nerds are pendantic fucks
Nerds are pedantic fucks*
FTFY

>>786953
> literally have nothing to fear

If you put Christ before all things in your life you literally have nothing to fear, ever!

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>>786953

>>787181
Kek

>>779346
I'd rather have a gun or bear spray, trying to hit a charging bear in the eye with a laser has got to be next to impossible, I think if you tried all you'd end up being was disco lit bear food.

> V = c

>using something with a low chance of working but if it does it will permanently blind the bear, basically sentencing it to death
>when you could just use bear spray, not get attacked, and not kill a bear by proxy

To all those saying good luck incapacitating a bear would be difficult because of aiming issues that's not true. They have non blinding lasers that have a wide focus. Think shotgun not rifle. It causes temp blindness not permanent. But bears have very sensitive noses and I would guess that good old fashioned bear spray is more effective.

>>788623
>To all those saying good luck incapacitating a bear would be difficult because of aiming issues that's not true. They have non blinding lasers that have a wide focus.
what are military dazzlers that were extensively discussed in the thread? don't just jump in here and state the obvious like it's some golden nugget of wisdom!

> itt "as blind as a bear" becomes a new meme

Do I really need a laser to go /out/?

Is it really that dangerous?

>>789497
you need armor
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPS2l5fQ55A
and a high power laser on shoulder predator style

>>789652
also dat crotch compass!

>>789652
> mfw a $0.50 box cutter to the neck

I hate you UPS Afganistan driver!

>>788695
I'm not wading through all this shit.

>>789968
First thing I thought of was his exposed neck.
>looked to star wars and halo
I knew that shit looked familiar
And I don't buy his stories either, sound made up

>>790075
this is not his real grizzly armor tho on that there was no exposed anything. but you could do little but stand in it and get hit by a car.

>>783003
This sounds great for hogs, too!

>>779346
Just buy a gun...then shoot yourself in the fucking head on a live stream so we can watch and have a good giggle

>>791114
How will you watch that after I blund you with my 2W Wicked Laser?

This is starting to make more sense as a form of nonlethal defence.

How will you discribeme and make a police sketch when you can't see it because you are permenantly blind for life?

> I din kilt nobody

PS, fuck you Yogi

I would rather spray myself fucking around with bear spray than blind myself fucking around with a two Watt laser.

I guess that goes for guns, too.

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>>779346
you are a special kind of stupid arn't you

>>780577
Ok then how much pepper spray to blind a security camera?

Does anybody manufacturer a 5W infrared laser?

>>792827
> LMGTFY

Christ!

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>>779346
Bears have TWO eyes OP!

And you manage to do permanent damage to it's eyes it will probably starve to death or wander off a cliff.

>>792899

> be me
> be native american
> whites stoll my land
> grandpa says:
> if a pine needle falls inna woods
> the eagle saw it
> the deer heard it
> the bear smelled it

Bears hunt by sense of smell, they won't starve. Maybe hit by white man inna car first.

>>792925
If it's blind it will die, how can you think otherwise ?
Ofc they use the sense of smell to hunt if large forest, but once they're close to their target they can't do shit if they don't see it

>>792899
>going /out/ in places known to harbor two-eyed bears
ishygddt

>>779346
Buy a gun.

>>792929
> pretending to know what bears think

You're white aren't you, don't you have some land to steal?

You are stupud if you think bears can't forage in the dark.

>>792827
There are 4W IR 808nm on ebay around 500. Planning on blinding random people without them seeing you?

>>793360
Build two of these into a fake pair of tits, dress as a fat white chick and blind every nigger on da bus!

>>793455
i'm interested in these, can they fuck up a digital camera permanently?

>>793360
Jesus owning that should be a serious crime. People wouldn't realise at all until their vision failed, and it'd be near impossible to tell who was doing it.

>>793539
>walking along
>see some neckbeard in a trenchcoat eyeing you
>suddenly you go blind for no reason

>>793360
>>793539
>>793455
>>793559

This is starting to make a lot of sense!

DIY Project:

Class 3B lasers are inside every cd/dvd writer.

For a higher wavelength salvage out of a blu-ray writer.

>>793539
Ban them now...think of the children!

>>793598
It takes very little exposure to a 4W IR to render someone permanently blind

>>793760
Do you even ANSI rate?

>>793349
Just because they forage in the dark doesn't mean they can't see.
>>793360
Oh damn, that's fucked up.

>>780281
If It's Hostile, You Kill It.

>>780281
> this from personal expieriance

I hate it when shit talkers talk shit out of thier asses.

>>794135
ANSI rate?

>>793755
Shit man think of everyone, this is legit dangerous.
Infrared lasers are scary fuckers, no blink reflex whatsoever to that - you don't even know it's happening until permanent damage has been done

>>793539
> owning should be a crime

It's shitfucker laser grabbing liberals like you that are fucking up people's freedom!

>>794281
Now there's a sentence I thought I'd never read

>>794135
Don't know about ANSI rates, but staring at the sun is equivalent of a 10mW laser, so I can only imagine what few seconds of exposure from a 4W IR focused laser would do to a retina.

>>794320
i used to stare into the sun for hours as a child.
it hurt like hell but i kept on staring.

i read it in a stupid western book that indians trained their eyes like that.
my vision is fine which is a small wonder in itself. in fact i have excellent night vision.

>>794335
There is a huge difference between 10/10000 of a watt and 4 watts. Most medical grade lasers are in the 500mW to 1W range

>>794354
>10/10000
that's some funky math there m8
truth is figures for sun gazing go as 11 W/cm2
twice the power of your expensive toys.

>>792925
>if we took away your benefits, would you die?

>>792925
U drinky too much of firewater squanto

>>794364
So you're volunteering for a 30 second exposure of 808nm at 4Watts?

>>794375
not too keen to try but i have been flashed in the eye with a similar wavelength class3 laser.
i offered the dude he packs away his laser toy or i stuff it up in his ass in front of everyone.
in theory it could have done instant damage at class3 but it didn't do anything. i contemplated about murdering him but there were witnesses.
i'm skeptical about blinding with toy lasers but you can't pay me to voluntarily stare into even a class1.

>>779346
put the laser on a gun, doble lethal

>>794410
Class 4 800nm laser guided beararound spray should do it!

>>794281
>>794313
This is actually spot on. It's how they always start.

>>779379
>>782977
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvnx4M293oU
This?

>>795050
JUST GO UP AND SPRAY THE FUCKER
JESUS CHRIST WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

>>785093
>1.0E
> leaving offerings to the goddess of the moon and the hunt
> not the one true god of nature Pan

Its like you want the wild to rise up against you and drive you mad

>>794249
> not having theoretical experience

My take is more people are the hazard than wild animals are.

I have been attacked... by pepole.

>>796121
as a child i was constantly bullied by humans.
not once by animals except for a certain horse that tried to kill me, but the crazy bastard tried to kill everyone.

>>796383
I was bitten by a rabbit.

I still hate that savage bastard!

I would blind it for life in a second!

> Jimmy Petterson, too!
> He fucks his mother

We should have an /out/ patch showing a bear and a laser hazard symbol!

Any shoopers?

>>798427
Kek
I'd like to see this. Or give the bear laser eyes.

>>798648

I hope the bear wouldn't be staring right at the camera because if it's lasers then you will go blind if you look at the image on your monitor since it's laser eyes

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>>798648

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>>800010

>>800010
>>800024
kek'd

>>779346
Does op realize the S3 is not for sale in US, AUS? (projecting)

It is a devilishly diabolicalplan to blind any unsuspecting creature, man or beast, with a UV LASER!

> what was the last thing you saw inna life?

Depending on the bear, it's probably timid.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bkwy0scRXBU

>>800024
>>800010

Nice

>>801376
That was ballsy

>>801401
Black bears are little midgets that run at the first sight of trouble, it's the big brown ones that you have to be scared of.

>>779346
I swear I've seen a clickbait ad about this, it was hilarious

>>801376
I would blind that NJ bear with a UV laser in a fucking heartbeat!

>>801425
I think I've seen this too, but was site blocked at work.

Is this trending now?

>>795050
Imagine how she'd react to a rapist

>>795050
The cunt might as well have just emptied the can into her own eyeballs.

>>795050
Yup, that's the one!

I can't even imagine sticking it in her and I'd fuck a goat wearing a wig!

I'd say spray her with bear spray a.nd feed her to the bear, fuck the bear blind and steal the kayak.

>>792821
I'd say you use a slingshot if you want to do that, bro

>>779346
you know what works better than bear spray?

Raid. No shit.

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Bearspray,,,noway.
, what you need ispicey HOT wings,, the REALY HOT ones., now if the bearapestarts, justhrow one his way,, just, one bite, and WAMMMMM!!!! FIRE TOUNGE!,, No amount of cool water will stave the Pain!
,,who dosnt like hotwings?, Bearspray?,, i thinknot.

>>803798
> suggesting wings marinatedin pepper spray

I think that's just crazy enough to work!

> on Bubba
> not beara

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>>803798
>>803877
just don't let them get at the bleu cheese antidote. in fact, it's best not to bring any with you, unless you really might get drunk/high and get the munchies.

>>803893
> fuck you, now I'm hungry

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>>803893
>>803897
yeah I legit just dumped a bunch of Frank's hot sauce on Smartfood now. fuck. FUCK.

>>803903
Are you eating popcorn with chopsticks?

> confirmed too stupid to blind a bear with a laser

>>803244
> can vouch
I keep a can of wasp spray by the door to spray Jehova's Witnesses.

>>803903
bro chopsticks are the perfect utentsil for popcorn. every grab gets a solid handful. popcorn can't be had with any other utensil. and if you're sitting at the computer with buttery and/or hot saucy popcorn you don't want to use your fingers

>>804182
> chopsticks
> solid handfull

Pick one.

>>779524
I usually just put them in a chokehold and suplex them.

Works with wolves too.

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>>804263
Yeah. The bear chokehold is my favorite bear defence move

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>>804209
bruv. bruv.
1. if you want or need to keep your fingers clean chopsticks grab popcorn really easily
2. a handful is an implied amount, like how a "cup" of liquid doesn't have to be in a cup.
3. don't be a pedant.

also, try popcorn with choppastik someday, you won't look back! any messy fingerfoods i eat with chopsticks now... particularly shit like cheetos

>>803228
How am I gonna get pepper spray into a convenient sized slingshot projectile? Or do I just inject sriracha into paintballs?

>>803798
I fucking hate you bacon rider. Start typing like a normal person or fuck off

>>804557
I'm pretty new to /out/, I've seen this guy in a bunch of threads
What's his deal?

>>804581
High level faggot

>>804399
> a handfull isn't a handfull
> a cup isn't a cup
> you are a pendent

Mo K.

>>804263
i would say works with wolves but i wouldn't try it on cats or bigger bears than you.

>>804581
He's a crippled tripfag from /n/
He rides around in some gay recumbent and posts like that. I've never seen him write a normal post.

>>779346
>thinking a slow death from starvation is better than a fast death from a bullet

The fuck?

>>805048
Bears forage with thier noses, not with thier eyes.

If you knew anything about bears, you'd know that.

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>>805129
They still need to use their vision.

Why would you want to blind a bear for you being a faggot and spooking it? It's not like the bear is going to be malicious and attack you just because like a nigger would.

>>779697

Uhh, no? Bears are not that dangerous and will mostly not attack even if they are "defending" something unless it's their cubs and even then they will use posturing to get you away before they attack as a last resort.

Bears don't have territory like most people think and have a lot of different territories that they actually share with other animals or even people.

The best thing to do in a bear situation is to look as non-threatening as possible and retreat. Whoever says you need to look as big as possible is an idiot because the bear will see that as a definite threat.

>>805537
bears are giant pussies
old women can scare them off

grizzly and polar bears are not like most bears tho you have to remember that for a polar bear you are just a fancy seal

>>805537
> nonthreatening as possible
> beta identified

Would you like clean up duty after I fuck your gf in front if you?

Carry a gun, pepper spray, 4W UV laser at all times!

Just carry a .357 magnum

>>806892

This is for other people. Personally I would wrestle a bear and make it submit to me. Then we'd eat salmon.

>>806938
Hi Timothy Treadwell's ghost.
>this thread still exists

>>805129
I doubt bears can sniff out cliffs, not to mention it will be more or less defenseless against carnivores

>>807697
> implying some bears aren't born blind

Newsflash Pedro, bears are born with congenital birth defects, too. It's only natural that blindness is one of them.

>>779803
That is some cold blooded shit! Should they be tied down first, too?


Is this the spirit of /out/?

>>808434
> yes, /out/ is this thread

Really. This thread is /out/.

>>779346
hold still mr bear while i blind you.

>A sleeping bear is just a fuzzy pillow until you wake it up.

>>794370
It would be extremely sobering...

>>794379
> class 3 < class 1

You need to go back to class.

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>2w
Pussy, use this
https://youtu.be/IzUoe-9bKa0

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>>813222
> not using a beam of pure anti-protons

Nigger please.

>>813222
now this could indeed blind a bear wtf?
how is this even allowed?

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>>779346
>now hold still mr bear so I can shine my laser in your eye
I wonder how it will respond

>>813512
> hybernating bear with tracking collar

I'm sure if you knew jack fucking shit about bears you'ed know that bear would react like a teenager with a post-molly hangover at 8AM.

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>>813676
>quick try to hit its eye with you laser!
>that'll stop it

>>813682
> stock pic

Post oc or stop pretending you know what you're talking about.

>>779346
just carry a speaker and play really shitty music

bears hate it

>>813781
> do black bears listen to rap music inna woods,if there is no one there to hear it?

>>813694
>post oc
>of you blinding a bear

>>813973
> mfw no bears in South America, Africa Antartica or Australia

Why no southern hemisphere bears, God?

> inb4 fucking koala

> itt
Well now I want a 4W UV laser for reasons!

I think I'll tear down a bluray burner for emitter.

>>795050
i have never laughed so hard