Poo

>>645718
Just do catholes man

>>645718
>>645718
Just be yourself anon.

>>645772
I did a poo in my pants

>>645718
idk if this is funny,but at the time it was really funny to me and my friends
>be on trip with scouts to my town since there were alot of fags from some other city
>we go to some monuments and shit and we have a couple of hours free time
>i decide go home 4 a bit then meet up with scout buddies
>im ringing the bell no one's answering
>get my sony xperia out and call my mom
>she's in the market with my grandpa she says he's coming to pick me up
>at this time i needed to shit really bad
>keep in mind this was around the end of december-start january there was alot of snow here
>i couldn't get into my apartment no keys
>i go behind some garages
>fuck it i'll wipe myself with snow
>do a massive shit
>pick up snow start wiping my shit and then just throw snow on the pile of poop
>continue day

>>645784
i got 2 more stories if you want

>>645784
i'll type them out anyways
>be in croatia,pula to be exact with dad
>we are on some camp site
>about 3 days in we're on this camp site just by the sea on some half-island(it's connected to land)
>one morning i wake up need to shit really bad
>dad was already awake tell him i need to shit
>i start walking casually to the toilette which was kind of far away
>suddenly i feel the shit
>i start fucking running
>going faster than usain bolt
>but not fast enough
>i pass a family and they're looking at me like im fuckin insane
>i remember this clearly
>i parkour between 2 trees and then it hits me
>i shit in my pants
>it was half liquid but wasn't leaking
>im like fuck it
>i start walking back normally to my tent
>pass the family again
>awkward looks
>get to tent
>dad is nowhere to be found
>there were like some steps down to the rocky beach
>i see dad leaning on some rock
>"Dad,I just shit myself"
>i wasn't expecting this
>he says "Well fuck,I have too"
>dad gets genius idea
>we jump into the sea
>and wash our clothes full of shit in it
>proceed to swim in the same area we washed our shit filled clothes in

>>645787
this one is not really exciting
>be with mom,brothers,grandma and grandpa in village (grandparents have some house they sometimes go to there)
>across the house there were some woods
>i go in there every once in a while
>one day need to shit really bad
>i dont want to go to the field wc thingy
>go into woods
>at the other side there's a road
>every so often cars pass by
>i get into woods
>do some parkour n shit since i was a fag
>get behind a tree
>during my shitting notice there were a lot of bugs just flying around me while i poop
>shit on ground
>pick up some leaves
>wipe ass
>gg wp

>>645787
>on some half island, its connected to land
The english word you are looking for is peninsula.

>>645791
thanks bro,in serbian we literally say half island so idk what to call it

>>645787
like father, like son

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>>645787
Did you drink dodgy water or something the night before? I had one of those moments in Morocco even though I didn't touch the water
>had to run up 6 flights of steps back to the hotel whilst trying not to shit myself

>>645718
>out hunting at a friend's place
>hunting pants have built in suspenders, fixed attachment at the back and buckles in front
>walking back on road to cabin after dark
>emergency shit time
>unsnap suspenders, drop pants
>blammo
>horrific greaser, fermented chili odor causes gagging
>wipe ass with leaves
>oh fuck I forgot to hold suspender out of way I've shit all over them
>trusty Mora cuts suspender off pants
>sleep night at cabin

Next day rolls around

>text message comes in
>why you shit on my road?
>photo of big pile of shit and shit smeared leaves and my suspenders wound all up in the pile

>>645954
toplel

>riding my bicycle
>stop for the night at free town campground
>take a swim in the lake next door, all is well after the couple smoking at the site upwind decide to leave
>wake up early
>need to shit
>the bathroom is locked until 7
>welp, time to shit in a bush like I have for the past few weeks
>expect this time it's a public park
>and this shit is loose as hell and I end up shitting 3 times in 3 different bushes because I kept thinking I was done and then there was more
>feel awful, but figure that they sort of got what they deserved for locking the restroom overnight
>on the road 30 minutes before the restroom opens

>>645718
I shit on the top of Mt. Baldy in California.
Just sat my ass on top of one of the stone wind shelters and pushed my ass out over the other side and shit. Used wet wipes.

>>646513
They do that so bums don't sleep in them

Or so that junkies don't use them for a crack den

Or so gay guys don't use them for anonymous sex

Or so hookers don't use them to turn a trick then wash up

Trust me, it's good that they lock them

>>649396
>so gay guys don't use them for anonymous sex
who cares if they do?

>>645954
My sides

>>645718
I shat in a trench this morning. Welcome to Minnesota!

>>649400
nice b8

>>645787
>>645789
Are you indian?

>>645718
Did it from a tree once, damn I was afraid of jumbing down with my pants down and everything..

I poo in the woods most work days. I work /out/ so there's no bathrooms available. I keep a kucket in my truck, love the free feeling of pooping outdoors

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>>645718

>>645718
idk if this is funny but here i go
>be me wanting to do a 7-12 day solo hike in Sweden (Sarek National Park)
>drink heavily and eat loads of crap night before leaving for wilderness(gotta enjoy civilization)
>get mad diaorrhea (dm how do u even spell this shit nigga) so consume coal tablets i brought
>arrive at park next day, get massive feverish cramps after 12 kilometers
>dump 30kilo backpack, unload anus upon the swedish flora while besieged by mosquitoes
>shit is literally black, like tar
>spend "night"(sun never sets there) hallucinating fever dreams in my slepping bag
>continue trip anyway
>spend next 9 days defiling the pristine swedish wilderness with streams of liquid poopoo
>shoot poocannon down a 500m cliff
>shat on lemming(fucker had it coming)
>aww yiss
was unsure at first about continuing my hike when ill at day one, but it turned out okay. fever went away but the shits only stopped when leaving sweden. best 9 days of my life regardless

>>645793
That's literally what peninsula means. It's a combination of the Latin 'Pen', meaning half, and 'Insula', meaning island. It's just that English people love them some ancient words.

I dig my catholes with rocks, I wipe with rocks, Ibury the rock.

>>645718
When i was in middle school:
>school trip in Florence
>choosen among 50 people
>fockinglucky
>ate a ton before going
>didn't shit.
>4.00: awwfucktummyache
>5.00: "gas start to fill my body"
>6.00: fart incominggg
>diarrhea every where
>OHFOCK
>stayed with shit in my pants for 4 hours right in the centor of the city

Went into the woods to go poo after I made it to the shelter. Tried to dig a cat hole, but the ground was so rocky and full of roots that I barely dug a hole. Went poopy and realized that my turds are a lot larger than I ever imagined, and that the hole was a lot smaller. Had to dig up more dirt to bury it

>>645718
>cathole
>toilet paper designed for use in RVs
it degrades almost as quickly as your poo

>>645718
my poo story, not innawoods but not outtawoods either
>be me
>see Yes
>much cocaine
>motorcycle ride home
>headed down the highway
>grumble, rumble, aaaaargh
>rest area
>YES!!!
>find a place to squat
>skunks
>fucking family of skunks
>wagontrain me
>around and around
>pants around ankles
>poo steaming
>doing more blow
>skunks circling

Don't know how long this went on but seemed like hours
Disclaimer: was probably like 10 minutes but I was high as all hell

>youthcorps 2008
>10mi from civilization, building burms and shit
>Chili con carne and tvp every night
> be mild autist and can't shit where other people have
>slog through 300ft of marsh to reach suitable distance
>Water filling boots while unloading satans hellfire onto lily pad
>water in boots start to get warm
>scuttle away from poo water while wiping my ass with a lily
>wash my boots in the creek and cover them in deet to mask the smell.

>Ate huge meal night before weeklong trip.
>Drank two cups of coffee morning after and unloaded everything at home.
>Ate calorie dense fibre-free food all week.
>Never had to shit once until I got home.

Plan worked.

>>651702
>finally shit after a diet like this
>anus feels like its being stretched so much it'll break
>have to take rest stops as the behemoth works its way out your anus
>finally after 30 mins of pushing you hear it
>a heavy wet splash down so loud your neighbors hear it
>instantly feel the pain leave your body, replaced with the utmost relief
>anus feels like a worn out rubber band
>stand up and turn around
>turn the size, weight, and shape of a 2 liter bottle
>spend the next day trying to piss it into smaller logs so that you can flush

Why is this feeling so oddly satisfying? It feels a lot like childbirth, looking at the poo monster is proof of your inner power.

>>651861
>piss it into smaller logs
why are americans so gross?

>>650605
>shat on lemming(fucker had it coming)
jej