some /out/ accident in your life?

>>1041656
How does a person even fall on their face?

Huntingfag here, fell down a bank and broke my arm. Probably the worst thing that happened.

>>1041684
Like in the gif for example

>>1041656
Does almost drowning at the beach as an infant count?

>>1041656
Using a sword to baton some wood, hit finger, passed out in bathroom from pain/adrenaline/bloodloss

Keep in mind I was 13/14

>young bro and me snowshoeing off trail
>bro falls thru frozen pond
>i lay prone and "GIVE ME YOUR HAND" movie scene ensues
>pull him out
>he strips naked and we snowshoe back to car
>turn on heat and drive home
Thats it.

>>1041656
noob should've had trekking poles.

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>>1041781
noob should have spent more time on his footwork

I wanted to go kayaking at a local lake and there was no dock so i had the bright idea of just walking up to the lake to try to get in. I walked up to the water and suddenly my foot sunk into about a foot of mud/quicksand. I got out pretty quick but my foot was covered in mud and it had a big gash.

Learned my lesson there.

Shooting range out past Apache Junction. Strolled into a rattlesnake orgy nest. Backed up slowly not paying attention to direction, was kind of frozen. Stumbled into a jumping cactus.

Nothing like pulling needles out of the webs of you fingers with pliers.

Slipped on a wet rock pile in Snoqualmie pass and had to hike out 7 miles on a twisted knee.

Blacked out a couple times from the pain.

Decided I didn't need gear even though it was freezing raining and down to 15 degrees at night.

I survived, and didn't get help, but god damn I felt cold for 2 whole weeks after I hiked out.

>>1041782
Thank you for posting this

>>1041656
>Stepping on mossy covered wet rocks in stream
asking for trouble if you don't know how to walk inna woods

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>>1041656
Sprained my ankle while climbing over a gate. Was kinda shitty because we still had to walk for 6 hours after that. But not to bad compared to others in this thread.

I was riding my new fat bike on single track in northern Wisconsin, still getting used to it. Wandered off the packed snow into about 3' of soft powder, flipped over, and ended up falling down a bank with my bike landing on top of me. Walked it off with only bruises but almost impaled myself on a little dead pine tree. I felt very stupid because there was no reason to have tipped over like that.

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>>1041656
improper tool use while collecting resin, cut myself. but nothing big in the last year

>>1041684
like this

>>1041973
Omg the lack of coordination in this gif makes my soul hurt

Tore my knee ligaments about 4km from trailhead. Luckily I was on the return, but it took me a long ass time to get back.

Otherwise nothing other than skelfs and minor cuts and burns.

>>1041782
>>1041833
Try walking barefoot on a trail first.
A few minutes of stepping on small stones and swearing in pain will learn you to walk properly, and how to look ahead for obstacles.
After a couple of hours, you will start doing it subconsciously.

Then you can put on boots and run up and down boulders like a mountain goat.

>>1041787
Was kayaking down the local river with my friend about 9-10 years ago when we decided to take a break on shore. He hit the ground and got out on the sand no problem, me being the unbalanced little shit I was I flipped the kayak and landed in mud/quicksand and lost my flip flop in it. I like to think a million years from now ayy lmao archaeologists will dig it up

Was exploring a bunker, fell into a supprise shaft, broke a lot of bones, couldnt move, almost froze to death (-25C) before they found me.

Not a big event, but I'm glad it worked out.
>hiking with friends
>going on steep downhill terrain
>one segment was crumbling away due to erosion
>you would have to watch your footing here
>somebody took one wrong step, the ground crumbled away, and he slid 15 down into a ravine
>No major injuries , but he wasn't sure how to climb back up since everything was loose rock and dirt
>somebody had the forethought to bring some rope
>we made a loop on one end and anchored th rope to a tree
>he was able to climb back up

>>1042171
>>1042170
>>1041973
>>1041656
i fucking love these.
literally cannot stop laughing.

Walking across a wet log when I was very young hiking with my dad. I slipped, landed on my back, and my spine hit the nub of an old limb. I couldn't feel my legs for like ten minutes and threw up. My dad had adamantly warned against walking across the log so he basically pranced around saying "I told you so" while I gasped for air.

Was a bit harsh for an eight year old

>>1041656
Sprained ankle when an excited dog clipped me while I was trail running. Literally, "outta the way trail faggot" type scenario. It was worse than a deflected axe head burying itself in my leg and needing to walk 5 miles to get stitches (thanks a lot Carl).

PROTIP: don't work around morons and animals

>>1042170
>>1041973
>>1041656
>heavy pack
>fatigued
>probably lacking some food and not thinking clearly for it by that point
>most likely got to the crossing/treacherous part and never even though to take a breather for a while and freshen up before attempting

Remember people. Assess your body and mind before doing something stupid. General checks are, "when was the last time I sat down and rested?", "how many hours ago did I have something to eat?", and "do I feel fatigued in any way?" Those questions are extremely important at work, doing a hobby, or /out/ having fun. You'd be amazed how many accidents people have because of this stuff.

>>1041787
>had a big gash.

Number one reason not to step into mud, in any location where people frequent. There is always broken glass somewhere in that mud. It can slice the side of your shoe or your leg. Even without glass there's always risk of a freshly snapped stick, broken animal bone, or thorns. I know all this from personal experience and I've been really lucky. There's nothing worse than ending a fishing trip on the first day because your cousin nearly cut off his big toe when stepping into mud. Who knew that was an old redneck hang out where they shot glass beer bottles every night for 20 years...

>be 13 yo Australian kid
>sneaking around in the bush pretending to be a fucking secret agent or some shit
>not paying attention, step on stick
>stick starts to go fucking bananas
>stick is a tiger snake and I'm standing on its head
>don't even look again, just start running
>run though the fly wire door when I get back home
>mum kicks my ass and says that she'll whip me with the snake if I do that again, or something similar

>>1042253
This.

In the spirit of this thread,
>get permission to hunt ducks on a private farm pond
>it's like 28*, 5am, water is just starting to form skim ice
>have on super thick neoprene chest waders that're reinforced with 1200d Cordura, double layers in crotch and triple layers on knees, they're "brush buster" waders specifically for hunting flooded timber
>have wading stick, I've tripped over too much submerged shit in frigid water to not use one
>get about crotch deep, take a step and HOLY SHIT THE PAIN
>drove a rusted-off steel T-style fence post through waders, pants, longjohns, and 3" into the front of my thigh, farmer didn't bother to tell me it used to be a cattle pond with a fucking fence through it
>frantically back to shore, strip waders, it's literally squirting blood in an arc through a hole in my longjohns and wading pants
>do up a makeshift tourniquet with the web strap off my decoy bag, haul ass for the truck
>naturally this is before widespread cellphone usage (1992) so even if I'd owned one I wouldn't have had signal in BFE Nowhere: The Farm.
>stagger into sleepy rural county hospital soaking wet, muddy, and bleeding profusely
>end up going under general anaesthesia so they can prod around and make sure there aren't bits of fence post still in the puncture wound (there were)
>get sicker than shit off the tetanus shots and end up having to stay 4 nights

>>1042068
Walkin barefoot shouldnt hurt you lol

How do you go through life having tender feet? Seriously, you should be so upset at the idea of that and train against it. Do you even respect yourself?

My feet are rocks at this point.

>>1042291
>>mum kicks my ass and says that she'll whip me with the snake if I do that again, or something similar
are you an abo?

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My towerfall pasta incoming

>be about 12
>every day after school going out into the woods to work on fort
>fort complex includes ~30' high tower made from trees I cut
>climb up the tower hammering-in diagonal supports as I go
>near the top securing last of the branch supports, standing on branches i hammered in along the way
>branch i'm standing on pops loose
>i fall straight down through the center of the tower
>head face and limbs barely miss all the crossbeam supports as fall
>land on ground bellyflop style with one leg under me
>barely miss like 3 short stumps that are only about 2" wide (could have been impaled on them)
>legs and pelvis busted up
>vomit
>crawl home through the forest dragging myself with hands and one leg
>get in tub and try to recover before parents get home from work
>end-up seeing the doc the next day, massive bruising. said i was lucky to not have shattered my pelvis and if my pooh is dark, tarry, or bloody go to the ER immediately
>recover enough, leg has never been the same since

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>>1041656
Felt asleep on my motorcycle after continuous night ride and nearly crashed in the flock of sheeps, which were standing right in the middle of the road.
Pic: sexy me on the top of Europe hours before accident.

>>1041704
hahahaha a sword

>>1041825

holy shit dude

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>>1042344
that is why I have >pic related, and why I wear it when i'm climbing more than 6ft up a tower.
No freeclimbing for me either.
Hardhat or climbing helmet on my head, safety glasses, steel-toe boots.

Getting hurt sucks; and stupidity is painful.
Protective gear makes stupidity hurt a lot less.

>>1042477
Eveyrthing you say is true. I did eventually buy a climbing harness at REI (just used it for when I was fucking around clibing trees and using it to swing around the tree tops like a damn fool). Never got back into construction like that though, the tower was abandoned and collapsed a couple winters later. I have video of it somewhere on a VHS tape that maybe I'll transfer someday.

>>1042340
HA nah, she's just a nutter. Does sound pretty abo though.

>>1041825
How's your knee now?

>>1042171
I recently did this on my dad's travel trailer awning... Twice. Damn hats fault.

>>1042299
That's brutal. My first time duck hunting I fell in the muddy water 6 times. My buddy remembers for me. With my luck, I would have fallen face first on that fence post. Good hunting at least?

>be me
>drunk
>walking during a flood
>decide to cross creek
>oops its 15 feet deep not 2 feet deep
>get taken for a ride
>the only thing i kept above the water was my beer

Another

>be me
>drunk
>fall into river
>decide to just go floating for a bit for fun
>get hit by a fucking barge
>nearly drown
>wash up on shore like a fucking dying whale

>>1042299
Terrifying. I've had to wade out into ponds like that to take water samples and running into rusted wire or posts is a huge fear of mine.

>>1042576
>hit by barge
That's how Jeff Buckley died.

Not exactly an /out/ accident, but I had a head-on collision with a motorcycle while leaving a trailhead. I was just pulling out of the parking lot, and a motorcycle came out of nowhere around a blind curve, and smashed right into my Durango.Totaled my car, and the bike obviously, and the people on the motorcycle got catapulted over my hood. The woman on the pack landed on a wooden guardrail and broke her back.

Shit was horrifying and still haunts me 5 years later. Not to mention there my be a lawsuit pending from the bikers, even though they were speeding.

>>1042299
Now that's an injury.

>out beach fishing with friends a few years ago
>set up three sea spikes
>I'm a little tipsy and hot so i decide to take a nap
>buddy wakes me up and tells me to watch the rod, he's going to check the crab traps
>alright
>rod goes down as soon as he leaves
>run over to set the hook and I vaguely register that I stubbed my toe
>hook a monster hammerhead and I'm bringing it in
>blood all in the water
>holy fuck I must have hooked this poor guy directly in the gills
>pull the shark in
>blood all over the beach
>check the hook and it's clean, so what the fuck?
>look down: toe is cut to the bone straight down the middle, blood is just bubbling everywhere
>unhook the shark and throw him back
>walk to the truck with blood spurting out of my flip flops with each step

Turns out my idiot friend stabbed the gut-covered fish knife BLADE DOWN into the sand directly next to the spike. When I ran up to set the hook, my toe just wedged into it. Wew. It really didn't hurt too badly but holy fuck was that a lot of blood.

Needless to say, he bought my beers for the rest of the trip

>>1042545
Hunting proved to be decent after I spent a couple afternoons finding and removing all the hidden fence posts. Had to sit out half that season though due to the injury.

>>1042585
If you ever have to do it again,
>cut-resistant waders (won't do much against punctures but most of the fence posts are still *mostly* upright and will protect you from the various cuts and scrapes old wire or the sides of the post can give)
>use a wading stick, and use it like a blind man's cane
>go slow (this is where I fucked up, I was trying to get my decoys set as early as possible so was rushing things)

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>>1041656
not an accident, but a miscalculation, after walking ALL DAY in the T.H Stone Memorial Park Wilderness area in Port St Joe Florida, suddenly realized I didnt have it in me to walk out, nor did I have enough water, and had to spend the night on the peninsula with giant biting flies and ghost crabs nibbling on me.

>>1041656
I was fucking left alone in Prague by my fucking friend without money and nothing

>>1042922
Sounds like you're still salty about this one

>>1042922
>without nothing
so with something?

>>1041656
Shout out to the friend actually going to help and not just standing there laughing like a woman would do.

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>>1041700
>almost

>>1041656
>Returning to the campbase from a volcano hike
>I was wearing huge black immortal shoes
>We go down on a zig zag because the mountain`s angle is almost 50º
>I trip and my accceleration would make Bolt look like a midtier tunner
>I realize that if i dont roll over i will crash on some granite boulders
>I hit the ground at inhuman speed (those nike padded coats can take and reduce a lot of damage)
>Only a bruise in my forehead
i was fine but i lost my top tier cellphone because it went flying from my coat

Also one day i almost die because i broke a lot of fingers after sampling algaes (yes you can put them in their place without pain even the ones on your feet) i wanted to swim a long trench from the boat to the coast and i cant remember how to float.....adrenaline rocks

>>1041656
Was 9 years old and cutting down tree in the woods with my hatchet. No idea what I am doing. Swinging it very dangerously. Hit myself in the thigh, pretty deep. Put steri-strips on and wrap it in a bandage. There were flies all over the blood on the ground. Dragged myself out and into the cornfield next to my house. Do not tell my mom or step-dad because I would get it taken away. Surprisingly it did not get infected and healed up fine.

My injury wasn't as bad as most of these, but I'll share anyways.

>Running down Gregory Bald to try and beat the storm coming my way
>Get to a rocky section
>Jump over a rock, only to land on a slippery one
>Leg twists the wrong way, badly bruised my knee
>Still had 3 miles to go
# miles doesn't seem like a lot of walking, but was my first major injury while hiking. I can still remember the pain of every step

>>1044578
*3 miles whoops

Buddy tried to cross a stream while we were backpacking by throwing his pack over first and then jumping across. Realized mid swing it wasn't going to make it and went with the bag. Got only one of his legs soaked.

I though I'd be smart about and found a pretty sturdy looking log down stream and started crossing on that. Was feeling real smug when I hit a rotten part and fell through. Managed to keep one leg up on the log while the rest of me went into the stream.

We ended up hiking out 9 more miles cold and soaked.

Fun times.

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>>1041656
lost shoes playing in the woods as a kid, it rained recently and when i stepped on a patch of grass i sank right in and had to kick the shoes off to get out. pretty sure they're still out there embedded in the earth somewhere,

>>1041656
I slipped on wet shale when innawoods once and rolled my ankle a couple times innawoods as a kid but otherwise no serious accidents yet.

>>1041656
I once fell into a hole with putrid water up to my neck when walking by a swampy area. It was a good thing I wasn't alone at the time, because it wasn't easy to come out.
I had to throw out my clothes afterwards. The smell wouldn't get out.

on a canoe trip when i was 14, while getting wood one dude was trying to split a branch by stomping on it
miscalculated one of his stomps and a broken branch cleared the sole of his shoe and went an inch deep into his skin
he had to do the rest of the trip in wrappings, it was pretty bad

kayak flipped and I had a life jacket on that prevented me from getting out from under it. was probably 13. Also just about drowned in my first time wearing a wet suit and in 15" of still water because I couldn't flip myself over for some reason. Neither were super serious but were a bit panic inducing.

>>1041825
Hello fellow washington fag

>>1042539
Did this multiple times as a kid on my dads rv worst one was when i was riding my bike and smacked my head against it

>>1041656
>Crossing a fast snowmelt river naked with my 65L pack on my head, two days back into Hetch Hetchy wilderness
>Water keeps getting deeper
>Over mouth
>Over nose
>Basically aqua-jump my way across and end up totally okay.

No idea how I didn't fall and end up soaking my gear and getting (more) hypothermic. Taller friends forded just fine.

>>1041656
>be teenager
>with dad and sister in washington
>at some nature moutnain park thing
>waterfall and some small cliffs
>pretty as fuck
>decide I want to see the bottom
>get too close
>rock face is wet and slick
>slide 15ft until my heel catches on a rock
>scared shitless
>afraid to move
>yell for dad for about ten minutes
>shows up
>pulls me up with a stick
>swats me behind the head for getting too close to the edge

Not an accident, but something that traumatized me as a child and has further prevented me from going into the ocean.

>On the west coast of mexico
>Tiger sharks spotted the day before
>Dad decides to flip the kayak out in the open water because "hurr sew funi"
>freak out because FUCKING SHARK SHITS
Never again.

Had an accidental discharge of my 22WMRF while hunting once, luckily I was alone. Don't leave one in the chamber, kids.

>First time out hiking.
>Decide to go up Tryfan in Wales.
>My old boots get a bunch of holes in a few days before.
>My grandfather offers me his after talking to him about it since we're the same size.
>Why the fuck not, beats wet feet or dropping a chunk of money on some good boots I think to myself.
>Making good time, about to summit.
>Feel sliding under my feet and fall a good 10 - 15ft backwards down hill landing against a rock next to a steep drop.
>Would have straight up killed me if I rolled down it.
>Check myself over and I've only got a couple minor cuts and I'm feeling sore all over.
>Check boots and it turns out that the souls have come off before and my grandfather had poorly glued them back together without telling me.
>School of hard knocks.
>Drag myself 3000ft downhill with no boots.
>Drive to the store and buy me some Altbergs.
>Never told him about it.

Faceplanted into a patch of devil's club. I was able to dig most of the spines out but had to go to the doctor to get the ones in my eyelid removed.

Kayaking by myself, as retard 13-year-olds like to do. I capsized and lost the handle for the spraydeck, got stuck in an upside down kayak and passed out. Somebody walking their dog along the river jumped in and pulled me out. To this day I still kinda wish I'd died that day.

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>>1045329
>I still kinda wish I'd died that day.
but why anon

>>1041656
If you hit any rocks, dont hit em with your head.

Anyway, I had a tree fell on me during a lightning storm and broke my leg. Luckily I had just put in so I was only 6 miles from exfil.
>>1042313
are you retarded
shoes are older than human history, our feet have evolved to take advantage of them

Kinda /out/, we were coming back from a sunset trek and were exploring some secluded beach spots in the last light.

Decided to take a dip with me girlfriend. She swims right into a plastic bag.

Oh shit, it's not a plastic bag, it's a jellyfish. Luckily it was shallow water and I was there as well, she went into complete shock and I had to literally pull her out of the water.

Now has cute, pink scars kinda resembling tree roots aesthetically running from her buttock down her thigh to her knee.

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>>1045368
>tfw live in a country where jellyfish sting a bit at most

>>1045368
Did you piss on her to neutralize the poison?

>>1045417

No, but now that you mention it, I should've used the opportunity. Did my best with keys (and fingers, not cool) to remove any stingers and drove her to a clinic to a clinic right away.

I didn't even know at that time box jellyfish can potentially be deadly.

Definitely don't skinny dip in dark waters. We live by the Andaman sea and jellyfish incidents have become increasingly more frequent.

>>1045428
>>1045417
That's just a myth, doesn't work. Vinegar/salt water are usually the most common and available 'remedies'.

>>1045442
>salt water
What do you think piss is?

One time I fell on some really slippery ice and got pinned under my backpack because I couldn't get enough traction to either stand up or wriggle out of my straps

Most of the pain was to my self esteem when I had to ask someone to help me get up

>>1045443
Urine has a different concentration of ammonia and chemical composition.

>>1042484
>I have video of it somewhere on a VHS tape that maybe I'll transfer someday.
No, that's ok, don't bother, we're fine!

>>1041684
He got a heavy bag

>>1045450
It's the pH of the fluid that matters. Piss does work. There's other stuff that works better, but piss does work.

>>1042212
Good man. If it was me I'd have been scaredot death of my son going paraplegic

>>1042340
>are you an abo
just australian is enough dude

>>1042344
wow didn't realize you can get that fucked up from falling from a 6-inch tower

>>1045417
doesn't that just make it worse?

>>1046164
>piss does work
[citation needed]

This thread reminds me of that one guy who slipped in one of Yellowstone's acidic hot springs.

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Got too close to the edge of a cliff and the mossy ground I was standing on gave way causing me to slide off the cliff. The ground was about 30 feet so before falling off the cliff I jumped for a nearby tree and tried to hug it like a bear but I ended up sliding down the tree and falling on the ground below. I had a sore ankle and I ripped up both of my palms and a couple of big spots of my inner arm. Luckily there was a nurse at the camp I was near who patched me up. When i got home I went on a painful walk to the drug store to get some bandages and appropriate wound cleaning ointments and proceeded to have the most painful shower of my life. Had to replace the bandages every day for 2 weeks before the wounds fully healed. Learned a lot about proper wound care and how the body heals itself form that experience. This picture is from day 3 and you can see how hard the white blood cells are working to repair the area. After 2 weeks it was just a small scab.

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>>1048234
It would be quite distressing to have to bury a flip flop

>>1048355
did he die?

>>1048475
Colin N. Scott fell into an unnamed mudpot deep within Norris Geyser Basin, far from the trail, while attempting to inspect the hotspring to see if it was "batheable". the mudpot temperature was later measured to be off the scale (well over boiling) at the surface, and presumably much hotter underneath. the depth of the liquid mud above the fumerole was measured to be 10-12ft, with extremely high acidity. although rangers were on scene relatively quickly, by the time a proper recovery effort could be launched the body and bones had dissolved deep within the hot spring. no remains were recovered. a flip-flop and an iphone were recovered at the edge of the mudpot and the "blacked-out" section of the SAR photos is presumed to be either the phone, vomit, or other solid/liquid matter that was suspected to be remains.

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>walking on a narrow ridge following a trail down from a mountain
>weather changes
>cold front moves in
>sky darkens
>lightning storm starts
>no cover around
>am left above the treeline exposed to lightning on a ridge
>have to run down trail as lightning strikes the mountain tops and high points around me
>dont have a hat so the rain is getting in my eyes and making it harder to see clearly
>trip on something and slide / roll down the side of the ridge
> * * * * *
>wake up against a rock
>blood everywhere
>feel like shit, am light-headed
>backpack is all torn up, took the brunt of the fall
>am exhausted so I fix myself up the best I can and sleep the night there
>next day I wake up and try to find the nearest place to be rescued from
>walk to an old logging road on the map and follow it until I find some loggers working
>have been to hell and back but I made it

Got 16 stitches on various parts of my head and body, 2 broke ribs but otherwise just scrapes and all bruised up.

Buddy system anons

>>1048352
I rarely get sqeamish but scrapes like that just get me. I think it's because one time I took a nasty dive off my bike and scraped myself up pretty bad (not nearly as bad as what you've done btw) and the shower was so painful I puked. Fuck all that. Also, your pic is gross :3

>>1048492
That's a pretty freak storm, and you're pretty lucky either way. Falling when onnatrail is never an option.

>>1048492
Adding to this story here, do you think I made the right decision to avoid getting struck by lightning by trying to run down the trail to the treeline? I don't know how my story may have ended if I kept my cool and just walked my way to it but the claps of lighning around me were deafening and spooked me into a frenzy like a wild horse. I really can't convey how dramatic that storm was between the lightning, hard cold winds, rain, and dark sky. What do you think anons?

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A machete bit my thumb once. It hurt a lot.

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>>1049286

>>1049286
>>1049288
fuckin hell m8. not overly horrible for a sheddy bite, but must have been pretty shit nonetheless

>>1049299
Yeah, it could've been worse if it had hit somewhere else. I'm pretty sure the bone stopped the blade from going any deeper, lucky it didn't hit between a finger or hack into my forearm / wrist.

I was using the machete to cut the limbs off some bamboo poles so I could use them as garden stakes, I finished up with a stack of poles and threw the machete down hard into the ground trying to stick the blade in the dirt but it just bounced back, spun around, and hit the end of my thumb perfectly square blade first. Felt like I'd smashed my thumb with a hammer, had a dull throb in it for a few days afterwards.

>>1042724

You pulled out in front of them

I'd have kicked the fuck out of you then sued your ass in court

"Oh I didn't see you, you were speeding" doesn't cut it

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25 or so years of fishing. Never considered this happening once until it did.

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>be me in Yuma desert
>having fun
>holy fuck it's getting hot as shit glad it's the day we're leaving
>get ready to pack up and leave
>wait where's the keys
>fumble through pockets like a retard
>spend an hour or so puttering around in the sand like a fucking moron trying to find my keys
>no luck
>friends already left in seperate cars
>last one behind
>no signal in the fucking desert
>it's getting hotter and hotter
>water is running out
>fuck it
>have to jam screwdriver into iginition in my beater truck
>don't shut truck off until I finish the 2 hour drive
>friends ask why there's a screwdriver in my ignition at the denny's we agreed to meet at
>tell them a fucking squirrel probably took it
>never live it down
>"Hey anon look a squirrel, you think it has your keys?"
>"He's probably setting up a used car dealership as we speak, what with all those keys he probably has"
>Had to get spares made for all my cars and housekeys
>That fucking squirrel cost me like $200 to make a spare for my key fobs
>Friends think I'm fucking around when I told them the next hunting trip was for squirrels

I killed like 15 of them in the forest behind my property that night out of shear spite. Didn't even eat them. Fucking rats.

Always keep your keys on a caribiner attached to you.

>>1049391
I had a similar experience except I was barefoot on a boat like a dumbass and stepped on it with the ball of my foot.

>>1049400
Squirrels in Yuma? Jack rabbits you mean?

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>>1042405
>Nordkapp
>On an island, Mageroya, so not top of continental Europe
>Island is about 10° south of actual northernmost island of Europe, Rudolf Island (Russia)
>Nordkapp is not even the northernmost point on Mageroya
>"Top of Europe"

Hundreds of thousands of people visit the place every year, the vast majority of whom pay 20-30 USD to access the lookout point so they can take a picture of themselves with a bunch of other people taking pictures of themselves in front of a wire frame globe on what is kind of (but actually in no way, shape or form) the northernmost point of continental Europe. Nordkapp is the weirdest scam ever.

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I hit a tree one time on my dirt bike. Broke my left wrist, fractured my right wrist, dislocated left shoulder, cracked two ribs and was unconcious for probably about 2 hours (i was alone). Woke up face down in the trail at sunset. BAD TIME

Got pulled out in a riptide, went into shock, nearly drowned. Got saved by my buddy and his dad.

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>>1049516
>sixdays
fukken_nice.jpg

Undershot a step-down racing snocross. Came to with the medics next to me asking me what my race number is and where I am.

>>1048147
It was pretty tall friendo.

>>1041692

Brutal. How did that play out?

>>1049422

Yeah those fucking things

>>1049242
I think animal instinct kicked in, probably not without reason. Absolutely no experience with this but surely you had metal shit on you and your juicy body was tempting to the lightning.

>>1048497
I've dropped my motorcycle a handful of times and had more Heelys accidents than any adult should. By now I've got the road rash/major scrape treatment down. Occlusive dressings are the way to go if you can manage moisture. Bonus: you get to see the healing live. Been playing with hydrocolloids lately, they hold the exusion much better. Got a good square inch sized chunk out of my palm from flipping my bike last weekend and no pain, just solid slow regrowth.

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>>1049726
>dropped my motorcycle a handful of times
protective gear, yo.

>be me
>riding with a group of newer riders as lead
>couple wives... most people in the group that day have <3 days experience on the snow
>first time ever on a sled for two of them
>one guy from AK who was a pretty solid rider but didn't know the area, he was riding sweep
>stop for lunch at a restaurant/bar/grill
>park sleds, go inside
>find a table, take off gear
>helmets, jackets off
>i take off protective vest
>"What do you need that for lol"
>I crash a lot? Got knee guards on too.
>Enjoy lunch
>Gear up to go ride some more
>Fun play area on a hill, trail down below
>I take off up the hill
>rest of the crew on the trail catches up and watches
>I hit a rock buried just under the snow, throttle wide open
>my sled goes airborne about 10 feet
>I somehow stay on, land it, but smash my chest into the bars
>knocks the wind out of me
>bends my handlebars
>everyone on the trail thinks i'm dead, as I catch my breath, after watching that
>radio down "i'm fine, give me a minute"
>Get my sled unstuck and pointed downhill, regroup at the bottom
>lots of "omg r u ok?"s
>yeah, so that's why I wear body armor

vest with shoulder pads and knee protection, along with helmet/goggles, is required equipment on the race track.... for good reason.

>>1049735
Yeah, my only pretty bad drop I was wearing kevlar leggings, leather jacket with armor, and a helmet, went skidding down the road for a good distance. However, I'm just an idiot and my bike is my main mode of transportation, so I hop on willy-nilly and go. When I was thrown off last weekend, I was wearing shorts and a tank top. Had to dig fishnet out of my knee but somehow didn't take any serious damage.

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>>1049736
My two worst road-rash wrecks were both less than two miles from the garage. One was a block away.

>Make a right turn onto a main street in town
>Turn into right lane, merge into left
>Minivan also made a right-turn behind me, is now at my 5-oclock
>Jeep in oncoming left-turn lane "doesn't see me", enters the intersection i'm about 10 feet away from
>stops, perpendicular to me, in my lane, when he sees me approaching with a minivan behind me in the other lane
>I swing over hoping to squeak by into the oncoming left-turn-lane, but don't have room between the concrete median... end up colliding with his rear wheel/quarter-panel
>minivan drives past in front of jeep, no incident, but stops and checks me out
>Helmet knocked against the ground, jacket took most of the abrasion
>Cheap knee guard I was wearing under my jeans spun around and I got some roadrash/gravel in my knee
>Bike was damaged but rideable
>tfw dirt bikes crash pretty well
>Minimal damage to jeep
>File insurance claim that week
>dude lies to his insurance co about what happened
>back and forth in court for about a year
>i won (well, my insurance company won...)
Broke even on that repair bill. Shop did the estimate, took them two tries to get it right, and they still missed some things I found out after I got the claim check.
>also why I ride with a helmet camera now

Another time I was doing a lap around the block after an oil change. Rear tire spun out on a corner and down I went ... that one fucked up my arm for a while. No jacket, since I was just going around the block. Did have my garage helmet on (old MX helmet I keep in there for that reason).

I've crashed a lot, and crashed pretty hard many times off-road, and the gear I wear has served me well many times.

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>>1049391
I talked to a guy who had all three hooks on a big rapala stuck in his hand, and it basically sutured his hand into the shape of a fist so he went to the ER. I've had hooks in my numerous times, a few I had to pull through, but similarly I work in a medical setting and was drawing up medication with a big pink needle, and when I pulled it out of the vial, the syringe slipped, and being the idiot that I am, I caught it before it hit the ground, except I accidentally caught the sharp end, luckily it was just lidocaine.

>>1049726
I'd try Calamine dressings,

>>1049745
>accidentally caught the sharp end
Terrifying D:

What do you do? Are you a nurse?

>>1049242
Make no mistake, the only reason you were spared is because your slapstick bumbling pleased Zeus.

>>1041656
Just get your feet wet, jesus fucking christ you deserve everything you get.

Well, you can laugh at me. Im a sc/out/ leader. The worse that has happend to me ...picking a goat skull frok the ground, cause it was cool, then in one eye socket it had a hornet's nest. Stung by three of those bastards. After that, shame on me, the worse was aost choking to death because eating a spoonfull of nesquick and trying to laugh.

But, since i work with creative kids with pocket knives, one cut the meat of his middle finger from the second joint to the tip, exposing all the bone.

>>1049385
>Doesn't know all the facts
>Decides the truck driver is at fault anyway

You sound like a self entitled motorcyclist.

>>1042344
so you're the guy the revenant was made about. are you the real Hugh glass.

>>1045340
That's not how evolution works

>>1048355
anyone have the uncensored photos?

>>1050319
Nah, never seenum. It's probably not body parts or remains or anything, probably just personal items (like his clothes and whatnot). The official story is that no remains were recovered. Idunno.

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>>1048234
have I got the book for you.

you would not believe how many people ended up in hotsprings and were basically rendered down to nothing.

>>1049737
So, out of curiosity, how badly were you speeding? Twice the speed limit? 3 times the speed limit?

I, as the car driver, had a similar incident with a motorcyclist.
>4-lane road with a turn lane in the middle
>trying to make the left turn
>biker is seriously 3 blocks away
>start to make the turn
>not being slow about it
>WHAM biker is now in my back seat, hit me square in the rear passenger door
>how the fuck. You were literally 3 blocks and 2 street lights away
>miraculously he lived
>neither bike nor car did tho, totalled both of them
>back and forth with insurance despite him getting multiple tickets out of it, because of extensive medical on his end
>finally gets to third party arbitration and my insurance company's lawyer finds traffic cam
>he was doing 150+mph on a 35mph road, that's how he cleared all that distance that fast
There's a reason why so many people categorically hate street bikes and the people who ride them, and why so many insurance companies have adopted a "the bike is always at fault" approach to claims.

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>>1050330
RIP in peace moosie †

>>1050483
Can't help but wonder if Moosie committed suicide to get away from such obviously retarded owners.

RIP Moosie, good riddance retard.

>>1050483
>"It doesn't matter"

kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

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>Cut my finger badly making an arrowhead once. The bleeding lasted through my bandage for days.
>Chopped the tips off on two of my fingers (hanging on by the skin) on the left hand. Air rifle decided to become scissors. Two nails removed, and 11 stitches.
>Jammed my leg between two rocks and almost broke it (still have a dent to this day, 6 years later), several kilometers from civilization, and with no cell coverage.
>Ate a poisonous plant that sent me to hospital (I was not very experienced back then), I do not remember which plant it was.
>Stung by jellyfish and bees a lot. The one that sticks with me is a portuguese manowar though. That HURT.
>Cut my head severely while sledding, and had to superglue it shut. Was wearing white hat, and it turned red from the blood.
>Several burns and cuts that are with me as scars to this day.

10/10 would do everything again. I'm not the smartest man out there, but I seem to get out alive. I'm damn near an amateur paramedic by now. Have confirmed my first aid skills numerous times on other people.

Pic related; me on the right, roughly where I jammed my leg.

>>1050706
>arrow notch*

mauled by a mountain lion while taking a shit

>>1041656
Fell down from a guava tree while drunk

>>1050724
How'd you fight it off?

>>1050483
"Oils from its body made the hot spring have small eruptions"
100% chance ancient peoples thought there was a demon down there and sacrificed animals/people to it

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Hot potting is retarded.

>>1049736
you ride wrecklessly and shouldnt be allowed on a bike

I accidentally killed a bear when I was 14

>>1052475
tell me about it

>>1049464
I went there last summer and dis the walking route to the real northernmost point. Thatvwas actually a nice hike 16km to the knivkjelodden, it was not that crowded and I took my 54 year old mum with me.

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>>1049464
Its pretty far up there though

>>1050878
which of course only made the demons larger

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Hit my finger with an axe. On a school hiking trip and some one brought an axe from Walmart. I thought it was going to be a shitty axe but I wanted to check it out, so I started chopping a wet dead log I found on the ground. After a few good chops I swung with too steep of an angle and the axe didn't catch in the log. It bounced into the hand I was supporting the log with (yes I swung towards my hand, I'm a dummy :( ).

VERY luckily I didn't do any damage besides slicing through my skin. The tendon and bone was fine and I finished the hike with one usable hand. Pic is right after the hike.

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And here it is a little less than a year later. Ignore the little scab I nicked my skin on a screen door lock.

No stiches!

>>1042916
so, what happened?

>>1052495
Not much of a story, I was hiking with my friend and set up camp in a berry patch. My buddy when to get water and I started setting up camp. This is when Mr bear decided to visit me. I thought my friend was coming back and turned around talking to him, it was a bear about ten feet from me. I started yelling and it just stopped and stared at me sniffing really loudly. I grabbed my rifle and kept yelling. The bear then stood on two legs and I decided to shoot a warning shot to scare it away. Unfortunately my warning shot when through the poor fuckers head. My buddy ran back after hearing the shot and helped me bury the body, total bro.
This was many years ago and I am now a good enough shot to not accidently give a bear a third eye.