food for avoiding the need to have a shit

Are you looking to keep your poops to the minimum or just not poop at all for a week straight?

>fiber free

Sure anon, go fiber free.

If you like the kind of poops that end up like glue. If you want easy, clean poops, you gotta get lots and lots of fiber.

>>1030249
I'd very much prefer to not poop at all.
>>1030252
But there shouldn't be much of it anyway if your diet doesn't contain anything that does get digested, should there?

>>1030246
Get MREs

I had to sit on a jury for 2 weeks. I ate fried egg whites and oat meal in hot water. It backed me up the whole day.

Consume your usual foods. Hopefully you've paid attention to what gives you certain types of shits.

Don't eat something you never frequent on an out trip.

I've also noticed that if I worry about the shits then I'll for sure get the shits. Something about the universe and my vibrational energy and shit

>>1030256
Just don't eat anything and you won't poop.

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>not wanting to shit in the woods
but that's literally my favorite place to shit in the entire world

>>1030246
Eat an entire box of Fruity Pebbles every day. Soon you'll have a volleyball-sized turd clogging up your sphincter, one that's so dry you'll be able to sit in the Mississippi for five minutes and cause a water shortage in New Orleans.

>>1030246
Best way to poop innawoods.
>squat and half turn around towards side
>Place your hand (on the side that you turn around with) Against a tree to prevent what is occurring in your pic.
>make sure your not accidently pooping in your pants that are around your ankles (hence turning around)

>green leaves actually make great toilet paper, I'd get them from a familiar tree like maple. Just think Canadian maple leaf hockey team logo when looking for TP.

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>>1030303
>green leaves actually make great toilet paper
:)

>>1030306
Is that poison oak or something what is that.

>>1030306
Nope, thats just one solid wiping leaf! shit away my fellow /out/ists

>>1030277
You're high

>>1030267
Don't those those clog your gut with a big rock solid ball of shit?

>>1030246

MRE's and bananas. You might never take a crap again.

>>1030246
This actually gives me the idea. Maybe it would be a good idea to carry things adequately deal with the shits. The only shits I get innawoods are BRD. That's booze related diarrhea which was as you very well now discovered by dr. William pepper in the early 90's.

Have a few extra undies and toiletries my friends.

>>1030246
Just eat the exact same foods you normally eat at home and at the exact same times. That will make sure there's nothing unexpected.

However, for your specific question you need to go on a full liquid diet. Like the kind patients who need intestinal surgery have to go on (google it). You will still need to poo (that can't really be stopped and you still live), but you won't be able to fill a thimble and you won't get constipated.

>>1030246

Shitting in the woods really is not that bad if you have something decent to clean yourself with (wipes). I think you would be better off eating a normal healthy diet and pooping when you have to. Honestly it's not bad at all.

>>1030246
Moses teaches us how to poop in the woods, it's God's will.

Deuteronomy 23:12-13

Can no one do a good native squat? I just get right down and have got off balance!

Forget wipes, the real trick to feeling fresh and clean is the back country bidet. You gotta wash. You then don't have to carry wipes, don't have to worry about packing out your shitty tissues, and if you're the kind of scumbag that would, don't have to ruin /out/ by burying your wipes.

>Finish your shit
>Get your designated bottle
>Slowly pour some water down your arse crack while going to town with the other hand
>Apply baby powder of you're feeling fancy

>>1030621

Toilet paper is biodegradable. I bury it with my poo

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>>1030621
unfortunately after many years of fisting and knotting my poohs are rather big and messy and require multiple wipes to clean up after. as much as i would love to fire off tight shitnuggets like a pez dispenser, it just ain't happening anymore

>>1030636
What a fucking waste of perfectly good drinkable water.

>>1030636
>sticking your hand into poo
Revolting.

>>1030643
you could just clean your hand after.
or don't..
>poo2loo
>poo bottle
>three seashells

>>1030637
Enjoy your man tits and stick armsa you nigger faggot

>>1030644
>>you could just clean your hand after.

>walk down to river
>need to shit
>walk away from river
>shit in woods
>wipe ass with hand and a little bit of water
>walk back to river
>wash hand in river
>act like you're not sub-human trash
Seems like a waste of time.

>walk in river
>shit
>let river water wash ass

I have always suspected that the nation of India is behind the river-shitting posts.

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>>1030690
although it is true that India is the undisputed world leader in river shidding, they're actually the world leader in everywhere shidding. if you crunch the numbers, only a small percent of the shidding in India is done in rivers. so really, street shidding, shop shidding, beach shidding, bus shidding, field and forest shidding, and rooftop shidding are all more common in India. therefore, I don't see why the Office of Foreign Relations would be pushing riverpooh specifically when they're quite intrepid in all forms of fecal savagery.

You guys are a bunch of fancy Nancys
Why is everyone so worried that their butthole is immaculately clean while /out/?
Who the fuck cares if you have a little dookie scrap down there?
Are you worried about your boyfriends smelling your butthole in the mountains?

>>1030658
>>1030666
>>1030690
>>1030694
What is happening here?
>>1030709
If your out for a good while and not able to shower very often then arse hygiene can make or break your trip. Hiking is no fun of your crack is itchy and swampy!

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>Pack all sorts of shit for hiking trip
Bring baby wipes the best of both worlds

>>1030737
What are you eating dude, or is your ass really hairy?
I've been out for weeks and never had such a problem
Perhaps it's because no penises have ever penetrated my posterior

>>1030246
Best thing is to not be a little bitch about it. Each time you shit that's less weight you have to carry around. Who wants to hang out feeling bloated for a week?

>>1030845
This. I felt crappy during a 3 day hike with no shits. Eating a lot of processed food plugs my guts

>>1030756
No shame in wipes. They are fucking mind blowingly good.

>>1030246
Just don't eat. Humans can go weeks without food. Water and vitamins.

>>1030892
How'd you have the energy to hike and carry a backpack when you're starving, though?

>>1030298
I keked

>>1030838
>>no penises have ever penetrated my posterior
>never been gently sodomized by a gruff but loving mountain man while the sun rises over your favorite trail.
Why live.

>>1030246
Summer sausage and cheese wraps; most of the calories are in slow-burning fats that get completely absorbed by the body, hence very little waste. Also, day before you leave, you should make some room by eating salad, then oatmeal and coffee right before the big one just prior to your last real shower.

>>1030246
low carb intake.
when youre on a keto diet youre lucky to shit once a week.

>>1030900
Even with physical activity it takes 30 to 40 days for an average person to starve to death. Anon should be able to go a week without eating so long as he stays properly hydrated and replaces lost vitamins and electrolytes, especially since he's on 4chan meaning he has adequate fat reserves to prevent catabolysis.

The first few days will probably suck because his body is used to eating three squares a day, but once his body readjusts he'll be fine.

Just wear an adult diaper.

>>1031170
I know that you think you're trolling, but it's so incredibly transparent that the rest of us just see it as pathetically begging for attention.

Now take your (You) and go back to /b/, this is a constructive board.

>>1031181

It was just a joke. How about lightening up a little, bud? We're just here to have a friendly conversation and pass the time.

>>1030246
Our intestines are pretty great at absorbing nutrients, so the major part of our stool is made of water and dead bacteria.Then comes fibres and other stuff you can't digest or your body doesn't need.

It doesn't really matter what you eat, you will have to shit. Eating less fibres will only reduce the frequency/amount of shit.

>>1030635
TTHIS.

>>1030397
American ones, yes. They add this chemicalormally found in drugs for diarea.

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>>1030628
>fire off tight shitnuggets like a pez dispenser
Kek

>>1030666

>>1030690

>>1030635
sharp limestone rocks LOL

>>1030666
> antichrist trips means this happens way too often
Reminds me of why I avoid "Wilderness" and "National Park" type areas, all the complete idiots shitting in campsites, rivers, middle of the trail, etc.
> find a place with reasonably soft dirt, at least 50 feet from water, trails, campsites
> dig at least a six-inch hole
> assume the shitting position nature intended: squat over the hole
> complete shit happens in a few seconds or less, as nature intended
> wipe with less than half the TP you'd use at home, sometimes only one wipe due to squatting position
> scoop dirt into hole, on top of shit (don't bury TP, animals dig it up, see this all the time)
> place two sticks in a cross-wise fashion over hole, as a primitive warning to others not to dig it up this season (gone by next)
> pack the used TP in a separate double-bag; burn in campfire or take home
> use hand sanitizer or wash hands in reasonably fast stream nearby, no soap, please, not really needed
My shitting preference is the above, faster, more complete than western-style toilets. I always bullseye the hole I dig, no matter what. Years of experience. My second preference is USFS/BLM shit-vault-style outhouses, for some reason.

>>1031166
Just broke a 3 day fast here. Play around with it before trying in the woods. Energy and hunger weren't really issues, but I peed out my but quite a bit, probably from supplementing magnesium with nothing solid in the system.

>>1031166
>even with physical activity it takes 30 to 40 days for an average person to starve to death
An average person isn't going to be capable of physical activity by the end of the 7th day, which is why they'll live for another couple weeks--they'll be huddle up next to their water source too weak to do anything more than exist.

>>1033984

What if someone thinks the X marks the spot like in a pirate movie ?

>>1030246
Why would you take just one pant leg off to use bathroom? What type of womanly blasphemy is this?

>>1034077
Even better

>>1030246
>no food
just dont eat fatty

>>1033984
That escalated nicely

>>1033984
>be me
>dried and freezefried foods for dies
>that rock hard stool
>be pooping inna hole
>turd is so long and coming out with such force it's lifting my ass of the ground
>I tried shifting to side to break it in half
>it snaps as I'm bouncing up and down trying to break it
>fell into the shit

>>1033984
>be other anon
>shit
>its a 20cm log
>my asshole is gaping like 5 MREs just went through it
>suck it back up asshole
>twist it
>share it
>taste it

>>1030306
"Leaves of three, leave it be"

>>1030278
This

You can fast for a week with little trouble

The only way you can not-poop

Why are people so anal about pooping? Why do you want to stop a natural process? Just fucking do it.

you're going to have to shit in the woods, faggot.

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>>1037325
>anal about pooping

>>1030246
Enjoy your impacted bowel and bloody stool.

I pretty much don't shit when I'm camping. It's not even a conscious thing, it just kind of happened from being a Boy Scout forever.

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>>1039733
"Campstipation".

>>1037199
>the only way to not poop for a week
Wrong, get addicted a week prior to an opiate stronger than Oxycodone or just a high dose of daily Oxy and I guarantee you'll poop once a week. Easiest thing to get is Heroin and you'll definitely stop pooing.

>>1039850
Sorry, you're right. The *easiest* way to not-poop is to get addicted to a substance that will ruin your entire life, not to mention your body

Plus, I bet it also feels much better than starving yourself

>>1030282
>he never took a shit while starring at the milky way in the middle of the sahara

>>1039900
it only ruins your life if you start sucking dick or doing crime to pay for it. other than that there is no ill side effects if you dont OD