Wiping /out/

Wipes get you so much cleaner than paper that I will never ever use paper if I can avoid it. I definitely would go with wipes. I hate having shit smeared all over my asshole.

>>1025822
Sounds like you have some dietary issues.

>>1025833
I dunno anon. I have some amazing bowel movements since being vegan and those wipes still clean better than just paper.

Not that >>1025822 anon

>>1025816
Moss.

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Use whatever you please. I don't go out that often so I just spend a few $ to get some coghlans TP

>>1025838
>amazing bowel movements since being vegan
please to explain

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>>1025816
You don't want to talk about WHERE but the WHAT.
>I argue it's about WHEN
You've gotta eat enough oats and fiber to have excellent control of your bowels. Then you need to hike till you find a good stream. Fill up all your waterbottles (don't bother purifying) maybe even carry a collapsible water bucket or something. Walk like 150 or 200 yards away to a nice secluded spot. Shit. And then pour the water down the top of your ass crak and get that shit clean. Perfect process. Absolutely amazing feeling. You'll want to start doing it at home, I guarantee it.

>>1025816
Walking around with your pants around your ankles looking for handfulls of ferns is NOT a way id recommend.

>>1025853
Fuck ton of fiber due to eating veggies and beans all the time

>>1025855
Why the fuck would you do that when you could just find a stream or river deep enough, get in, take a shit and be clean right away.

>>1025816
Be a fucking man and use your finger. It's not that big a deal. Don't look at your hand if the thought of this bothers you, just wipe your ass off then wipe your fingers on the ground and wash them afterwards.

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>wiping
we should all be on this level

>>1025895
prick

>>1025917
that is exactly how bears do it

>>1025816
Rock. Stick, take the bark off and use the side, not the end, and wipe side to side. Snow is the best, so clean. I shy away from leaves. And yes, I do actually use those and have so for most of my shots for years. I live in a van and shit outside a lot.

Do you bury the TP after you wipe or keep it in your bag, you know, for the environment?

>>1025902
Disgusting animal.

In the pondorosa forests of AZ we have a little plant with large soft leaves that I grew up calling boyscout buttwipe. I don't know what it's actually called and googling it gets no results.

>>1025853
>people eat garbage
>get sick
>realize they need to change their diet
>change to current meme diet
>omg xyz diet work works
>to dumb to see it was the change to a balanced diet not the meme diet that helped them
>start shilling diet xyz


you can eat french fries 24/7 and other garbage sold to you at a premium and be 100% vegan...

its about a healthy balanced mix.
with poops it often just a lack of fiber.

>>1025974
i use brown/recycling "nonchemical" paper (that isn't for example bleached or contains perfume ) then i bury it. But sometimes i pack it out. but only on some sites like especially pristine areas or where it takes very long to rot even when buried. like base camps or above the vegetation line in the mountains.

>>1025976
Its mud anon. Youre just wiping some mud.

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>tfw you're on the ketone diet and you're lucky if you pass a big black schidt once a week

flushable wipes are total bullshit. All wipes have a large percentage (fraction, for you amerifats) of polypropylene. That shit can't be considered biodegradable. Just because you can flush it does not mean you should. The people in marketing should be shot for the lies they spread and you should all be shot with a ball of your own shit for being so stupid. Paper dickface! It's biodegradable, leave no trace...

>>1026009
Mullien

Just use stinging nettle as Real Men do.

>>1025816
Sticks, leaves, smooth stones, moss, grass, basically whatever. A combo of all of this usually gets the majority of the heavy lifting done. Then I break out my designated bottle and have a little back country bidet sesh. Leaves you feeling fresh and clean. Then a little hand sanitizer to get your food shovel sparkly again. My favourite bit of shitting in the woods is stirring everything up in my cat hole to make a 'nature soup' I reckon it helps it all break down quicker.
>Toilet paper and wipes are for girls
>Real men bidet and touch their poop.

Snow is apparently the best makeshift thing to wipe with. You have to mold it into like a wedged snowball.

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>>1026132
that sounds delightful

I put a little Campsuds on my palm with some water. Then scrub away at my butt. It's the only way to get a clean wipe, paper just smears shit around. No more itchy asshole. No paper waste left behind in the outdoors.

>>1026031
Really?
That must hurt

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>tfw you wipe and you get nothing on the tissue as your healthy diet and regular exercise has made your poop completely self contained like a horse's anus

>>1026190
Oh now you got me thinking about juicy mare rears.

>>1026190
I love it when my poops are like that. I'm pretty sure that just has to do with diet though, no?

>>1026066
Ok, queensnake

>>1026039

>percentage (fraction, for you amerifats)

It's the same thing in burgerland, you fuckwit.

>>1026254
And gut flora and overall health

>>1026276
I was thinking this too lol.

>>1026338
thicc shit, brah

>>1026039
Apart from the misplaced arithmetic condescention, this post is the truth.

Just tear off a bunch of three-sheet(more if single ply) pieces of good tp, fold, and lay flat in a ziploc bag. Use those for the main wipe. Keep a ziploc bag of flushable wipes in the tp bag for the final wipe. This kit will fit anywhere

>>1025816
Paper towels, they fold nicely and travel well. A lighter or matches to burn it with, animals will dig up your crap if you bury it (which you should). Old lunch bags to carry your used tp with if unsafe to burn. And of course some hand sanitizer (don't be gross).

Biodegradable wet wipes, what ever brand is cheapest on amazon when I go to reorder them.

Also good for cleaning face/pits/groin to feel a bit fresher on the trail during overnight trips.

youre all do dumb if you cant figure out how to wipe your own ass

>>1026039
Occasionally have to do plumbing for neighbors, and can confirm. The same neighbors have called me 4 times now to dig up their sewer main, literally every time because flushable wipes get caught on a pipe joint and never degrade. Don't believe the marketing bullshit. Also, learn to say no to your neighbors. Because you can't fix stupid.

>>1026523
Same... Stayed up till 2am on a weeknight blasting"flushable" wipes down a septic line. They do clean your ass quite well, but certainly not worth it.

>>1026610
The first time I had to deal with it they bought "biodegradable" diapers and assumed that also meant flushable. I managed to convince them that was a mistake, but for some reason they're unwilling to give up the flushable wipes despite their basement being flooded with sewage every year or so.

>>1025855
You can get a travel bidet that screws onto a water bottle for like 3 bucks on amazon.

>>1026631
>In a domecile
>Not using a bidet

Fucking animals, those neighbors of yours.

>>1026042
Second. Also Usnea or thimbleberry leaves are fairly pleasant. Usnea tears less than mullien or thimberry leaves if you're an aggressive wiper.

>>1025865
Fibre just adds bulk and makes stool pass quicker, causing it to be softer and therefore more messy. It's not a cloaca, it's an asshole, your shit is supposed to be firm.

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>>1026188
Yup, usually does.

>>1025895
I really hope this is bait. If not I hope you get dysentery

>>1025816
Have you thought about removing the cardboard roll in the TP and just squashing it. It packs down to quite a small thing.

Wet wipe, then a dry wipe, then gold bond on the crack&sack.
A winning formula for any backpacker.

When they start using dry toilet paper on babies' asses then it might make sense to use it on mine too.

>>1026031
>tfw you're on the ketone diet and you're lucky if you pass a big black schidt once a week
sounds healthy

>>1025816
>A roll of toilet paper takes up a lot of space unless you re roll a smaller amount which is a pain. Was thinking I might switch over to flushable wipes since I can easily stuff a few in a zip lock bag.
You don't pack the roll, you remove the cardboard tube and pack however much you need.

I surveyed for years and always brought toilet paper in my vest, it isn't that big of a deal at all.

My most memorable shit was climbing like 20 feet up a pile of windfall that was like scaffolding. The logs at the top were perfect for comfort. It was an open block with lots of wind so no bugs for once. I leisurely shit, watching my turd fall down 20 ft. It was amazing, especially no bugs. Shitting while being swarmed by mosquitoes is not fun, my balls and ass have been bit hundreds of times. I remember pissing and having to wave my dick around to prevent them from landing on my pecker. It used to be piss and shit as fast as possible, so this leisurely scaffold shit stands out as a fond memory.

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>>1026873
>sounds healthy
minimal starches, no sugars, no grain or cereal fiber

feelsbadman

>>1026759
>>1026873
I have done the cardboard removal trick before but the kit I'm using doesn't have that much extra space.

The versatility of wipes makes them a pretty temping luxury the more I think on it. A quick method of cleaning hands/face etc is never to be underestimated.

>>1027044
>not enough space for a small amount of toilet paper
>enough space for wipes though

you do realize that toilet paper is smaller AND lighter than wipes? not that the volume or weight of either is significant, but you really can't say you don't have room for TP but you do have room for wet wipes.

I don't care what y'all do as long as you don't leave your wet wipes out in the woods, like some degenerates do.

>>1027051
It's not that I can't re roll a smaller TP roll. It's just a pain. I can stick a couple wipes in a zip lock with less effort and the plus side of also serving as a general purpose hygiene and cleaning tool is nice. Worry not I don't litter. But you better believe that the ones I wipe my ass with are getting buried along with the poop.

>>1025902
B-b-but I poop from there.

>>1025974
You shouldn't bury it. The best option is to find a paperless/wipeless way to clean yourself. The next best is to baggy your shitty tissues and take them with you.

>>1026132
Can confirm, I have had to do this several times when out for a long winter trail run
>shitting in the woods in wintertime
>hear snowmobile approaching in distance
>pray it doesnt come flying through the trees right past your bare ass spewing fury upon the ground

Carve yourself a wooden spoon and clean your ass with that, you clean the spoon in the dirt.

>>1026679
You are dumb. Fiber cause stool to be firmer. Just Google it before spewing bulls hit you absolute mongoloid.

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New Zealand here, we have this plant called Rangiora, also known as Bushman's Friend - it's soft, waxy with large leaves - it's a s close to natural toilet paper as you can get.

It's hardly my first choice when i'm out bush, but it's damn handy when you're 5 days in and the shit tickets have ran out.

You could also use it for normal paper if you really want, I've also tramped with people who chew it - it helps with bad breath, though it's a little poisonous so you need to spit it back out when you're done.

>>1029259
>shit tickets
Nicccccccce!

>>1025816
I hope you people at least sprinkle some seeds before burying your shit. Shame to waste fertiliser.

A liter of water and a dab of soap is better than a roll of toilet paper. Its vaguely taboo to get poo on your hand but if you get over a few gross seconds it really is cleaner/more practical and it doesnt litter.

>>1026159

Bingo

>>1026873
>>1027051
Personally every time i camp alone i always leave the used TP and wipes behind because i know sooner or later the earth will absorb them and turn them into nothingness

>>1030000
I eat so many seeds while I'm out in basically a human seed drill.

>>1029259
I find the thought of chewing something that you also wipe your ass with mildly disturbing

>>1034497
Eh, you use different leaves. It's surprisingly not that bad tasting.

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It ruins any fun I might be having if I am walking around with shit smeared in my butt due to wiping with paper only. I don't know how you guys can stand it.

>>1034941
What if we wipe with plants, like >>1029259 over here?

>>1034941
You're sposta do a good job when you wipe anon

>>1025816
I'm taking a couple girls /out/ in a week. I already plan on having to pitch the tents, maintain the fires, catch and clean the fish, etc. but I'm going to need to build some sort of facility for them and I don't know the best way to go about that. I'm thinking some sort of trench latrine... I made a mistake, I can tell already.

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>>1034993
Never used one, but I'm thinking pic related.

>>1033520
I hope someone shits on your doorstep.

>>1031593
>Its vaguely taboo to get poo on your hand
Only if your a little girl whose afraid of such things. Real men /out/ with no wipes or TP. Bidet.

>>1025905
god level

>>1029259
>shit tickets

I like this anon.

WIping with your hand is god tier. Bring alcohol based hand sanitizer for after. It's not that big of a deal honestly.

>>1029086

Wrong. It adds bulk and absorbs moisture, so you end up basically shitting a sponge--not liquid but certainly not dry.

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>>1026238
I like the way you think, Anon.

>>1025833
This, I'm not vegan or vegetarian, I just eat balanced meals in good portions and my shits are mostly no wipe shits.
Just don't eat lots of starch or too many carbs or oils.

>>1025816
Kawakawa leaves.

>>1025816
>flushable toilet wipes
biodegrade/breakdown easy
cleaner than paper
don't ruin if they get wet
pretty cheap at Aldi
I only /out/ that bad once a year on my mates Conlonsay croft, Yorkshire just aint that remote, you're never too far from a pub toilet

>>1026042
>>1026679
not to be that guy, but it's spelled mullein, not mullien

Intestines absorb moisture from shit.
Hold your shit in longer and you won't even need to wipe.

>>1026031
Raw Spinach and Arugula, nigger.
More regular shit, and smears less too.

There are people here who don't even know how to wipe their own ass with paper. What the fuck.

>>1025822
Fpbp. Nuff said.
Wipes are more compact and get you cleaner. To save on them, pick up some fuzzy leaves as you pass em on the trail.

>>1026683
Dude take a fiber supplement you dummy. Or be a normal human and eat fruits and veggies.

>>1025816
Pull the cardboard roll out from the center of your tp and you can save a huge amount of space by compressing it down in your pack.
If you don't mind some cleanup, you can use old clothes to create re-usable and washable toilet paper strips.

Guys I got my first haemorrhoid, what do I do? I sort of just pushed it back up my arse but I'm scared it will come back out.

>>1025816
Poojeet knows how to shit outside, ask him.

>>1026031
Why are you intentionally damaging your health with a /fit/ meme diet?

>>1038286
first, stop playing with your butthole. second, name it :)

>>1038430
nah bro I have ketone buildup from diabeetus and it can be really dangerous if I don't keep it under control

>>1037952
You're absolutely mad.

For your anus's sake, I hope you're baiting and aren't actually intending to try this.

>>1038430
Carbs are the meme my friend.
10,000 years old but still a meme.

>>1027698
Pomf

>>1029953
>>1035423
y'all motherfuckers never heard that? it's been here in the flyover states since my gramp's days (WWII vet)

>>1038430
It's a very real and healthy diet, you twat.