Feels

Went up to cabin earlier than the rest of the family.
Asked my mom to watch the pupper so he could ride up with her pupper.
They showed up and he wasnt there.
He died of a heart attack after i dropped him off.

Bad /out/ was bad.

>>1007497
Did the cabin time help or just make it worse?

>>1007499
Neither honestly.
I took a walk, shed some man tears, and just moved on.
Not saying i forgot him or didn't care anymore.
Life happens. And i dont want to associate my cabin with a sad moment.

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>>1007495
Being three hours into a 4 hour one way (had to turn around afterwards, didn't loop) hike when the girl I was seeing and into started progressively shitting on my interest in the outdoors, saying everything was "gross" and she didn't get why I want a career in it. As well as saying there's nothing interesting in the outdoors.
>Why'd she even go
Because she liked me and only did it "because I told her it's something I care about and wanted to share with her"

Dropped her pretty quick, but to be stuck with someone for the next 6 hours between the way back and the drive back to town with a girl I was really into, really sucked.

The sad feel I'm anticipating, is since my dog is recently blind from diabetes and only now just gaining weight back, the realization that someday I will go on a hike without my buddy. That shit tears me up inside. Had him for the past ten years.

>>1007495
>>1007502
Rk9

>>1007495
>>1007495
Super depressed

Decided to go /out/ and neck myself with a shoelace

Decide to light one last campfire before I go

>begin hallucinating spirits
>after a couple hours of arguing alone in the woods with shit only I can see I decide life is worth living


And here I am, on fucking 4chan.

>was failing school
>got fires from work so low on funds
>gf left me
>and I stubbed my pinky toe on a chair that morning
But then I went fishing alone for 3 days and everything (besides gf) just kind of worked out anyway

toss up between staring down an 800 ft cliff thinking about jumping and spending two weeks vacation with /out/ gf while I was laid up with a busted foot

>>1007502
>hiking with a nasty bitch who hates the outdoors

I know this feel. Dating women from the city or burbs is awful. I've noticed that women who don't like nature are usually depressed and bitchy. There's some correlation there

>>1007502

This happened to me when my wife decided she wanted to bring my spare kayak and come fishing with me. Was an hour of her whining about tangled lines, then she threw a huge sulk, then she got pissy because she thought I was paddling too far out. Basically she took a giant shit on the day. And she's spent the four years since complaining that I don't take her out kayak fishing.

Last time I was hiking and fucked up my knees. Two days into a 2 week walk. All the planning down the drain. I tried walking through it but it wasn't happening. The combination of pain and knowing that I was going to have to spend my precious time off stuck /in/ not being able to walk was shattering. I hate injury so much. On the up side, I'm pretty much all better now and have a good bit of time off coming up so I can have another go at the walk·

>>1007588
Yeah! I fucked up my shoulder a while ago, and so I can't carry any kind of a real pack, or go biking (hurts to steer).

>>1007502
I know these feels... both of them...

>be five years old.
>family decides to rent a cabin for our vacation.
>Mother turns on the oven to make something
>Decide to help her pull out metal tray without any hand protection.
>get third-degree burns all over the palm of my hand and fingers.
>Ruins entire family vacation on the first day

>>1007502
dude im so sorry about your dog.

at least you know you gave him the best he could ask for. loyalty and plenty of time outside.

Grandfather died last year. I haven't gone /out/ in a long time but all my early memories of going outdoors are coming along with him when he went fishing.
Well last week I hiked out to a nearby lake for a couple of days for some fishing, wearing his backpack, using his fishing rod, hell even my jacket used to be his.
Second night was the first time it truly hit me that he's gone.

>>1007592
Ah shit man! That sucks so much. Injury is such a bugger. I'm just starting to approach the age where I feel like I should take injuries more seriously as well. Start worrying whether it's going to linger or reoccur. I better start stretching as well. Man getting older blows.

>>1007735
Dang, I'm real sorry anon.

When I was 6 or 7 we were camping (in a trailer) in the White Mountains an my dad took me and my brother on an overnight hiking trip up on Lonesome Lake, while my mom and sister stayed in the trailer. All he did was yell at me and ridicule me the whole time. So while him and my brother ate ravioli and sandwiches and cooked marshmallows over the fire I sat in the tent alone. It was horrible. Now that I'm grown up and my dad's like 70 he asked me if I wanted to go with him on an overnight back up at Lonesome Lake and I told him no,

>>1007495
I don't know about the saddest time /out/, but one of the saddest times /in/ was seeing this shitty thread

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>>1007506

>>1008919
You'll regret that no.

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>>1008931
Wrong, I didn't and I don't.

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>>1008933
Trust me, you will, I can guarantee it. One day you will have kids (maybe not since you are a flaming faggot) and will realize. My guess is he regrets having done that to you. Quit being a spiteful cunt, the world doesn't revolve around you.

>>1008952
Sorry anon, you're wrong. He was like that just about every day of my life. He's a psychopath and never should have had kids. I had to move back in there for awhile when I lost my job and as much as I thought he was a horrible psychopath when I was a kid, he's even worse as an adult. He would scream at me for eating (my own food) because he couldn't tolerate even the smell of toast without losing his temper. So I would just boil water to make noodles or dry soup packets and he'd complain about it creating steam in the house.

Fun Fax: he used to come into my room all the time when I wasn't home and rifle through my stuff. He'd also go around the room with a big duster (pic related) and knock all the shit off my shelves and desk with it. So like one every week or two I'd get home from work or being out and find my drawers upheaved and all my shit knocked over and lost behind my bookshelves, etc. This go so infuriating I can't even explain it. It's just fucking twisted. I have an antique harmonica on a shelf, and one day after he wrecked my room he put his old harmonica on the shelf, assuming I wanted it to keep with the other one. I was so mad when I he smashed everythign yet again, and saw the harmonica, that I threw it straight into the trash. In the back of my mind I was worried that I'd regret that almost immediately. But I didn't. It's been like 3 years and I'm so glad I threw that thing away. He never mentioned it, but if he asked about it I'd tell him I threw it out.

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>>1008953
not important but here's the pic

my ex wife told me she was leaving with our daughter. I left for the mountains, hiked and cried.
stood on a peak alone on my 30th birthday and found myself again.
the climb up was catharsis (I left my ex behind mentally), the moments up there where amazing (who am I? what do I want? what's best for my daughter?).
I smiled hiking back down the valey and am a different man and better dad since then.

>>1008963
Damn anon that sounds intense

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>>1008971
well, yeah

I was walking along a river on a cold morning and I started summing up my life accomplishments,
I realized I'm worthless and I have to hide a lot from people.

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>>1009024
>have to hide a lot from people
you mean you have to hid often from people, or you have many things you hide from people?

>>1007508
Good job anon
Glad you're bad

> 18, had some beef with punks in my town
>killed my social life all summer
>parents invited me to fly out to Seattle
>last minute decide to go with them
>we end up at Whistler Mountain
>rode up the mountain, it was so quiet
>sat down on a rock thinking about my troubles
>looked at this beautiful mountain range
>seeing people far away and so small
>so, so quiet here
>My problems were NOT that big, they dont control me
>depression cured
>2 months later, moved out of that kick-a-poo town made all new friends.
>fuck facebook and social media

>>1009004
kek

The ninth and tenth grades were tough for me in high school, I was picked on and lost friends etc. I had long hair and was friendly and sociable, but a bit odd and introverted, enough so that people didn't like me or liked to pick on me for whatever reason. I used to explore ravines at lunch time to avoid people and not be seen alone. Sometimes people would ask where I went and I would be evasive. A couple people from a group that often switched from friends to bullies even said they would follow me. I just wanted to be with friends or, seeing as that wasn't the case, alone; not be seen alone or have my habits discussed.

There were specific times where things happened that made them sadder than others, but it was generally a sad time. I have repressed/moved on/forgotten a lot of it, but if I think back, I remember going home and spending time in bed with the blankets over my head, where I'd fantasize about things.

On the plus side, I became interested in natural history from my time in the ravine, which led to my career path. Things are a lot better now socially and I even have a family of my own. But the prospects of eating in a lunchroom with coworkers still brings lots of anxiety, I think stemming from the high school days where I hated walking through the cafeteria alone.

I rarely think about those rough couple years in my life, but they did compel me to move away at 18 and become independent and not look back. But now that I'm older, I look back with some fondness for various reasons. Thankfully, the bitterness and resentment that often plagues people with my experiences didn't last long with me. I found a better life at college and had enough achievements and successful experiences outside my comfort zone to help me move on form my past and know myself better.

In these introspective moments on 4chan, I wish I could help the bitter cases (eg /pol/) who are throwing away their youth by living vicariously online and creating their misery. Oh well.

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>>1007508
Done everything right.

>>1009164
>didn't have friends in hs
>don't have friends now
>pretend not to be bitter because i support a whore wife

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>when something bad happens before you go on a long outting
>being out and alone, no modern distractions
>can't think of anything else

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>>1007495
>>1007497
>>1007500
>>1007502
>taking doggo for a hike
>she's 10 years old, getting up there
>healthy as a horse, but slowing down
>her vision is getting worse
>watch her bump into a tree
>rush over to see if she's okay
>I'm just standing there, knowing that in a couple years she'll be gone
>happy as can be, she just shakes it off and keeps frolicking through the field we're in
>we get home, and she licks my face as I wipe her feet
>can't help but smile

cherish them while you can my friends

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkH_701__k0

>>1008963
awesome

Dad accidentally brought a summer tent camping when I was just a kid. Temperatures reaches 15 or so and we couldn't sleep. Ended up just making a fire and nodding off briefly while sitting. The shower after is forever ingrained in my memory. I actually sat on the tub floor and let hot water run over me for thirty minutes or so. I'm not sure I'll ever have a shower that satisfying again

>>1009164
>In these introspective moments on 4chan, I wish I could help the bitter cases (eg /pol/) who are throwing away their youth by living vicariously online and creating their misery. Oh well
I agree anon. But you've got to let everyone figure shit out on their own. A strange amount of 4chan, I've found, is dedicated to self-betterment, strangely enough. /lit/ and /out/, I think, are good examples. Regardless of the board's quality, there's always a desire to improve latent in a lot of threads. It gladdens me to see it

>>1007495
I found the memorials at Annapurna base camp for all those who died climbing the mountain to be quite sobering.

>>1008953
I lived in a completely functional family, so i cant say i feel your pain anon. But i will say that you were right in the way you acted.

>>1007735
RIP bro, your grandpa loved ya. Remember all the good times you had with him.
I never had a chance to share a moment with a grandparent, and it sucks. I wish my grandpa didn't die when I was so young.

I decided to go canoe camping with my gf in the mobile delta (I highly recommend it). She was not so keen on the idea, but went to be nice. To make a long story short, she gets bitchy and gives up 2 hours in. The way she was talking it really seemed like she was breaking up with me (she was). I was heartbroken, and decide to just do the trip alone. After a 3 hour paddle to the campsite, and I set everything up, i started to explore the area. I found this little open area near the shore with a little beach (about 10 feet) it was dark at this point. I sat down by it, and everything came so suddenly. I thought about my worth, my future, and my girlfriend. The whole time i was either crying or just feeling like shit. I was 18, and that gf was my first so the whole thing was incredibly emotional. After it got dark and i was still sitting there, and this great blue heron glided down and started hunting right in front of me. I dont know why, but at that moment I felt complete serenity and understanding. The bird just put things in focus. It almost felt like i was seperated from everything in my life. It felt like nirvana (definitely not as profound). It was definetly a cool experience.

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>got discharged from the army in 2013
>had a lot of guilt/self hatred/other various mental issues with what I did while I was overseas
>also was a volunteer firefighter and saw some fucked up shit before I was in the army
>flash forward to 2014
>been in a lot of drunken fights, pushed a lot of friends away, had a really bad relationship with my parents
>go hiking by myself down a trail near the place I was staying at, at like 10pm
>get to a clearing by the river, it's where I used to swim a lot as a kid and there's a rope swing there
>sit down on one of the tree stumps and stare out at the water while smoking a cigarette
>all of a sudden, everything floods into my head- heartaches, my time in the army, my time in the fire department, my horrible relationship with my folks, how shitty I've acted towards people and the awful things I've done
>start bawling and can't stop for like 30 minutes
>sit there for a while, and call my mom at like 1am

Not really /out/ but:

>be 6 years old
>dad says he has a surprise for me and my brother
>we get in the car and drive for an hour
>the entire time i think we're going to Six Flags
>we finally reach our destination
>its a Bass Pro Shop

I cried for like an hour. I still feel bad about it because Bass Pro is awesome.

The feeling of mind slaves unable to comprehend and appreciate all forms of vegetal life, ie: cannabis.

>>1010902

the first time i went to a bass pro shop was in the first grade around the time when we were learning about the seven wonders of the world.
The teacher told us that there might still be an eight wonder. When we got to the shop I asked my dad if it was the eighth wonder LOL.

>>1007495

Not a sad feeling, but when I was 15 we went camping at Enchanted Rock near Fredericksburg Texas. Late on the first night I had to take a piss. When I stepped out of my tent, I looked up and there was the milky way galaxy and about a trillion fucking stars. It was the first time I could recall seeing a full night sky that wasn't fucked by light pollution.

I was completely in awe. Like I couldn't believe what I was seeing. It made me feel wonder, but at the same time it made me realize just how small and insignificant I truly was.

Side note: I swear to all things holy if I have to keep selecting all squares with fucking street signs I'm going to find Hirosimoot and RIP HIS FUCKING BALLS OFF AND SHOVE THEM SO FAR UP HIS ASS HE'S GOING TO TASTE HIS OWN MOTHER FUCKING SEMEN!!!!

>>1007495
7/10 times I'm inna woods it's because I'm sad. It usually makes me feel better. Everytime someone in my life shits on me , gf usually, and we fight too much and she doesn't want to see me, I go out. It's nice and peaceful and I forget how much I hate myself for a while. Although I tend to risk take a bit too much when it gets really bad. For example climbing up cliffs without ropes. When I caught my ex-girlfriend cheating a few years ago I just parked my car and walked a trail from 11pm till morning.

>>1010814
Is this "God bless you Mr Rosewater"?

>>1011032
I really want to see something like that man, FL has way too much light pollution.

>>1011000
Um. What?

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>>1010457
Thanks friend.

>>1011388

Not him, but translation is "Dude, weed, lmao."

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>>1007495

Take girl /out/
She brings a guy she just met
Wandered away and left them, went straight back home

>>1012658
It's obvious she didn't want to be camping alone with you, but that is a genuinely asshole move, she should have told you something before.

Was hiking through an area that had recently had a pretty serious brush fire.
Found the remains of a mountain lion and some cubs. She had tried to get them up in a tree but it looked like she only managed to get one up, and they all died anyway.

I found out my 7 month old kitten had died while hiking the pct...

>>1008963

What happened with the kid? Stood you at least get partial custody or are you, like, a deadbeat dad?

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>>1013849
Reminds me of the legend of Sleeping Bear Dunes, which is feelsy af.

"The Ojibwa tribe has a heart-rending legend that explains how the dunes of Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore and two nearby islands in Lake Michigan formed.

The legend says that long ago, a mother bear and two cubs were driven into the lake by the encroachment of fires on land. After hours of swimming, the mother bear reached the far shore of the lake. But when she turned around to check on the progress of her cubs, she saw nothing. Both of them had slipped beneath the lake surface and disappeared. The mother bear spent days staring out across the lake in the hopes they would eventually swim ashore. But after weeks of waiting, the heartbroken mother bear laid down to sleep on a bluff overlooking the lake and never woke up. In recognition of her suffering, the Ojibwa say a powerful spirit covered her with sand and made her two cubs rise above the water as North and South Manitou island."

>>1011032
You can go to settings star bro and select legacy captcha, it will allow you to just type in words like we used to be able to.

I almost died 2 days into my 7 day annapurna base camp trek, and from the rest of the time until i came home I was in a hospital bed. now my travel buddy is having a kid and I am still forever alone with a sense of unaccomplishment.

Doing that trek was supposed to be a defining moment for me. I'm still a loser but at least i would have been a loser that hiked the himalayas. dont think ill ever get a chance to back.

>>1007495
>went outside
>take a shortcut through a park
>really crowded
>mostly couples
>I was not informed that Kiss day existence.
Like if suicide rates were not good enough with Christmas, new year and valentines.

>>1009492
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZWpHZ0kmGw

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>>1014514
Huh, I heard most parks have adopted a strict no singles policy now.

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>be the last remaining member of my family tree
>the family name that has spanned from 1432 until now is going to die
>sat at pic related for 3 hours staring into the void
>contemplated jumping off head first
>stood up and almost did it
>ended up laying back down and punching myself
>half of my brain is pushing me to try and fix things
>the other half is pushing me to die because i'm 26 years old with no education and i'm a shut in virgin with zero social skills

>>1014578
but that means you can do whatever you want anon. I mean, I'm not trying to say you shouldn't be frustrated and unfulfilled in various ways, but there's still a silver lining - you don't have to do anything for anyone but yourself. i'd be doing solo campouts/vision quests all the time!

>>1014580
that's the problem lad, when you've done everything for yourself for the last 3-4 years you really just want to start doing things for others

>>1014578
I bet you an mute-anon would be great field recording partners.
>down for hanging out and doing stuff
>not full of BS conversation

>>1014586
who

>>1014578
Yeah man, I'm a tree end also. Just keep the line going however you can.

>>1014587
There's a mute-anon who posted once or twice who I reckon'd would be great to bring along for field recording expeditions. Guess he was born without vocal cords, grandparents and parents have all passed-on, can only really do low-wage work, no friends, etc. Totes would bring y'all out recording, as you can't really talk much anyway. You just have to hunker down and enjoy the outdoors for what it is.

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>>1014578
>>1014590
>tfw the last male that bears the family surname in all of the world
it's a pretty rare surname lads

>>1014598
you probably won't tell but I'm curious as fuck

>>1007495
I am only sad if I am not /out/.
Seeing the animals and trees just living in the moment, only satisfying their own most basic needs makes me take it easy in a society that makes you work for even the most useless consumer products. I was a complete workaholic and did 12 hours 6 days pr week. Now I take 20 minute shits at work, do 15 minute coffee breaks and call in sick for a week every two months and go camping.

I'm constantly suicidal. Major depression will do that. So I'm sad innawoods all the goddamn time.

But going out into nature with no distractions is how I fix things. I have no quick and sure means of killing myself and nothing to distract me. I go into the mountains, I fight with myself, and I come home better for it every time.

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>>1007495
>>1007495
I got anxiety and quit my job. I lived alone and I missed my oneitis. I went hiking and I had a great view of the city. Like many of the posters here, I realized how small my problems were and I felt sad but hopeful at the same time.

I haven't been /out/ in a while, this thread motivates me to.

>>1014568
What kind of shithole city adopts a no singles policy for a public area?
What if you are gonna reunite with someone there?

>>1014578
You need to find yourself a girl, mate.

>>1011028
that's cute as fuck anon

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>>1007495
>somehow manage to survive malpractice-induced benzo withdrawal for three years and not die
>finally able to walk again
>take my dog to a local land preservation
>still can't walk far so I sit down in a grassy field against a tree with her
>listen to the grass moving in the wind and feel it on my shoulders
>watch as two swallows dance with one another in the sky
>think about how I almost missed out on all of that

I cried a little. That was a year ago and now I'm able to hike again. What we are able to do outside is so special, do not take it for granted. I'm just so happy to be alive I can't even describe it.

>>1007529
I had the fleeting thought to jump off a cliff a few weeks ago.
Not for any depression related issues, just happened to be standing there and the thought came so strongly in my head.
Just what would it be like to fly through the air, and experience that brief moment of clarity that people report before dying.
Would it be worth it.

Had to turn around

>>1007529
>>1015455
this shit is crazy, there's some interesting research on the phenomena itself and why we're programmed this way

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L%27appel_du_vide

>>1007495
Burning a chair my friend an hero in. Was out ina pasture. Doesn't count for much i guess. But i will never forget the beutiful sunset, pumpjack thst needs greased squeaking in the distance, or that chair on fire. Knowing i was about to lose my shit...

>>1007508
Son't feel too bad anon. I know that feel. Last thursday i sat at a littleral fork in the road. One was a mental health facility and one was a 12 guage.

Hardest descision of my life. And to be honest the shotgun seems to be the better answer. Have no fucking desire to be here at work or go home to friends and family. I just want it over....

>>1015563
if you have to live, live for being outdoors anon, that's how I get by

>>1015576
I guess i will. Thanks bro.

>>1015596
Honestly though there have been times in the past where it's the only thing that's stopped me from killing myself. When you're really sick and stuck inside, even just remembering what a soft wind feels like is enough to keep a person going.

>>1015449
Gorgeous picture, especially combined with the story.

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>>1007508
Nice. Plant a tree in celebration.

I went to Northern Tier last summer and was almost constantly depressed(I'm 18 now fellas). Since October of 2013, I've had a constant feeling of fuzzyness in my head. The feeling is comparable to the sensation you feel after drinking alcohol or the feeling of foggyness that is present when you're recovering from a concussion. I simply couldn't outrun or distract myself from the issue and took walks into the woods to cry and I seriously contemplated suicide. Constrast this with my trip to Philmont three years earlier where I had the time of my life back when I never imagined I'd be having this issue. What upsets me the most isn't the fact that I still don't have an idea what's causing it or the fact that no one but my family and some doctors know about it, but the feeling that I've been robbed of something as fundamentally human as a clear head as well as the chance to truly experience life in the present. I have a good family but my condition makes me feel very lonely. I still and always will find comfort in nature. For example, my neighborhood is wooded and has been graced recently by a woodrhrush whose beautiful mating call we hear at dusk and dawn. Such thinga give me a strong desire not to leave this earth and an idea of how sumblime it all is. It makes me grateful to be alive and keeps my hope alive.

>>1014499
Any /out/ist who lives in Michigan and doesn't hike through the dunes, and at least visit the Manitous is missing out hugely.
They're absolutely beautiful and there's nothing else like them. I camped on South Manitou twice, it's worth the hike, boat ride, and poison ivy.

>>1014598
Not the guys you responded to, but same here. it's my brother and I. I don't want kids, and he's a fucking moron dating a fatty SJW.

>>1016038
What kind of surname do you have?

>>1016053
It's Huguenot French, but it got truncated when my family came here to escape the draggonades. Can't say what it is because googling it immediately gives my address and stuff.

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>>1007495
>/out/feels

By the fucking truckload. Who else /wilderness therapy program feels/ here?

spent my 31st birthday alone in a soaking wet tent 2 days walk from the nearest road. bad times.

>>1008963
Mountain climbing is the best way to come to a solution or a resolve.

>>1016071
What's all this wilderness therapy stuff? Is this like Outward Bound or Higher Ground or something? I must know more.

https://youtu.be/ThA89I82PR0

>>1008919
Lonesome lake was one of my favorite hikes as a kid

>>1016258
Well that's nice, but if wasn't for me

I go inna woods to be alone usually. I'm afraid of falling in love, but also afraid that I never will. To avoid the stress I just go out on my own with a bottle of booze in my pack and a pack of cigarettes. Sometimes I don't want to come back, but I'm worried that my mom won't have anything left if I kill myself. Deep down I know I'll never find someone to love me, but I'm too worried about leaving behind the only person whose ever supported me.

>>1016209
Basically you take people with psychological problems, trauma, ptsd, etc, put them in an expedition group together, and go on do /out/ shit with certified therapists who are also guides. They use the outdoors as a tool for healing and to teach people how to function again. It sounds like bullshit to a lot of people, but if its done right it can actually work really well.

Some programs like Open Sky in Utah are complete shit, borederline abusive, and need to be shut down, while others like SUWS of The Carolinas or the one I went to called Expedition Therapy Associates based in Utah can actually have a really positive impact. Most kids that go are forced by their parents to attend for 2-4 months, but I made the decision to go myself, and actually wanted to do it, so it was a much better and more constructive experience for me.

>girl who was raped by her dad and spent 9 months at the program
>dude who'd done pretty much every single drug in existence but wanted to get clean
>girl with bi-polar disorder
>spoiled rich kid who smoked weed a few times so his parents freaked out and sent him to wilderness (we all hated that cunt)
>
And many others. These are they type of people I lived and traveled with for four months. Shit was intense but we helped each other a lot.

>>1007495
>Work shit job
>Get sick yesterday
>Wake up this morning, feeling 100X shittier
>102 fever
>Head feels like someone is pounding it with a hammer
>Feel lile puking so I don't eat breakfast
>Get even worse
>12 hour shift ahead of me,
>Two people don't show up, so I have to do three jobs while sick

I had the next day off and I was planning on using it to go fly fishing. But me being overworked got me sick, now I spend my only day off in bed, not /out/