I know that the last time I tried this it backfired hard and

Here are 2 ideas for "Homers":

First one is kinda simple, do an affordable version of McLaren F1. The most important points here are to keep the seating configuration, replace the engine with a V6 (for packaging purposes and to keep the car affordable) and otherwise keep the basic concept as close as possible to the F1 but obviously with using expensive materials like carbon fibre, titanium, kevlar and gold and keeping the execution closer to something like mk2 MR2. I shall codename this idea MR3.

Second idea is basically to take a mid-size luxory car (think of something like W124 series Mercedes Benz) but to put a boxer engine under the rear seats instead of the normal location. This would give you a mid-engined car that could give a comfy ride to 4 full sized adults, great handling characteristics and have good amount of space for your stuff both in the traditional trunk at the back and the HUGE frunk in the front. I shall codename this idea MR4.

You can probably guess that all I want is a car that uses MR layout that can take more than 1 passenger. I'm also aware that my latter idea having a huge design flaw in positioning the engine in a location that is literally impossible to get access to without either removing the rear seat every time you need to access it or without some kind of rear subframe that is easy to open up and close as needed but I'm sure the latter could be done somehow.

V6 is shit. MR is shit. Fuck off.

Just make a car with a fuck hueg engine and great suspension that meets NHTSA standards and CAFE and all that shit but the safe, heavy, ugly parts can easily be removed by the end consumer and have a buyback program to take those parts back in (to be put onto other new cars) and exchanged for exactly enough to buy a bolt-on supercharger that you also happen to provide and that is covered by the warranty.

Call me crazy, but I liked a LOT about "The Homer" and seek out vehicles with similar features.

I'll tell you exactly what I want in a car: I want a big car with lots of pep. I want a place in this car to put my drink. You know that little ball you put on the aeriel so you can find your car in a parking lot? That should be on every car. And some things are so snazzy they never go out of style; like tail fins and bubble domes and shag carpeting. I want a horn here, here, and here. You can never find a horn when you're mad and they should all play "la cucaracha." With a separate sound-proof bubble dome for the kids; with optional restraints and muzzles. And another thing, when I gun the motor, I want people to think the world is coming to an end. VrOoooooMmmm!

I would like it to have a feature where it will detect when the driver is texting and instantly sound an alarm system, if they keep ignoring it, the car will pull up to the side of the road until the driver puts their phone down

How about you just kill your self

Mending aside, I want a decent-sized two-door car that has a large displacement V8 with lots of bolt-on options, a sport/touring suspension, low profile, large windows for good visibility, lightweight, manual transmission, rack and pinion steering, coilover suspension, RWD, a LSD, manual locks and windows, ventilated leather seats, and NO FUCKING TOUCHSCREENS/iPad dashes!