Bank heist

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inconspicuous and fast. looks like what everyone else drives too

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>>17730021
KTM 500 EXC.

>>17730021
Mini Coopers

silver mid 00s camry

>>17730035
This. Dirt bikes can go anywhere and the pigs in the UK won't chase you if you don't have a helmet on (muh safety) so off you go!

>>17730040
Only correct answer.

Three Renault twizys

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>>17730021

>>17730046

This. Something that can blend in to traffic. If the cops respond before you leave the bank or are able to initiate a high-speed pursuit of any kind then your robbery plan was shit.

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>>17730021

Debadged TL Type S with full bolt ons

>>17730021
Black Honda Civic with a few simple mods. Can outrun the cops and weave through traffic seamlessly.

Hevy Impaler from Carmageddon.

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>>17730040
>>17730097

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They'll never expect the getaway vehicle to be a police car.

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Fuck the police

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>>17730021
*ahem*

>>17730035
How are 3 people gonn fit on one bike?

>>17730791
How can one anon fail to read the OP?

>>17730730
lel. All OP said was "vehicle(s)", so this wins.

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>>17730021
my evo

>>17730532
that would take ball but might work
>get away driver sits in cop car wearing uniform
>run out jump in back
>drive off like its just another day with 2 suspects in the back
>ditch and burn car/clothes and hop in some other anonymous car and you're free

>>17730843
>using your own car
you'll enjoy prison, all the cocks you could ever want to suck

>>17730791
(s)(4)(s)

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It's right there. Plane jane boring, just like I asked for. But it's got 300 horses on the inside - it is gonna fly!

Chevy Impala. Most popular car in the state of California. No one will be looking at me.

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>>17730021
stolen cab
>apb on the most common car on the road

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>>17730959
>tfw the Panther taxi is going extinct

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>>17730035
>>17730086

>>17730040
You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off etc etc

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>1967
>Hired by some guy who going to rob a bank
>There is 3 of them
>Acquire pic related for the job.

>>17730808
Well if the pic had more then one bike. Or maybe you said ktm 500(s) like in the op. But you didnt so one can only assume 3 fat neet neckbeard faggots on one dirt bike.

>>17730912
>Chevy Impala
>Most popular in California
I love this movie but this line always pisses me off.

>>17730021
a peterbilt

what the fuck are they gonna do

>>17730021
mail delivery van, cash hidden in amazon packages

>>17730046

*white

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>>17730021
Wrong, you can only take two passengers. That was the deal.

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Full time 4x4 with studded snow tires. Something generic like an S10 Blazer or an explorer. Truthfully doesn't need to be exceptionally fast. 5-0 will be busy on cars in the ditch anyways.

>Horrifying snowstorm would be the ideal bank robbing time
>No choppers
>Police cars are equipped with All Terrains, thankfully
>Snow machines have relatively short range compared to automotive vehicles
>Bomb through a small town down the interstate
>Go off roading through a pre planned route
>Ditch vehicle, never see it again after burial or burning

Haven't quite worked out all the details yet as I haven't hit rock bottom. However if the day comes, I already know one of my friends that'll join me.

Pristine 911 Turbo, black.

No one would expect someone who already drives a 911 Turbo to be robbing a bank.

>>17732466
>>17732466
Yeah but someone will see you leave the bank
It will be easier to soot and identify

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>>17730840
Well in that case try catching me on the moon

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Tried and tested.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/police-left-trailing-by-high-speed-ram-raiders-1405257.html

Italian Job memes aside

3 r53 JCW minis, the police won't be able to keep up around the city, and they can squeeze through gaps and hide in plain sight

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>>17730532
What if the heist takes too long and the cops show up before you get in the car?

>>17730977
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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Well i travel back to the future of course, couldn't of been me if i wasn't born yet.

>"Did you rob a band in 1972?"
>"Wut i was only born in 1980"

>>17732442
its like you havent played the opening of gta v

>>17730843
Facken cleen man
What wheels are those

Any vehicle? 3. Fucking. Tanks. Gonna fuck shit up before I go out.

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>>17730021
A Bedford Rascal

>>17730539
*transmision breaks mid chase*
Heh, nothing personnel kid

>>17733712
I haven't.

I posted my idea a few years ago back in 2013-2014 iirc.

Anons laughed at me as I mentioned the use of a Faraday cage.

I remember the thread turned into a giant debate as to whether or not a Faraday cage was even worthwhile.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQ4w2UMezyg

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>>17730977
DELET THIS

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Everyone in this thread is retarded...

This is the only option.

>>17730977
Impossible. Panthers are the domestic equivalent of the Camry. Abundant, cheap to find parts for, and virtually unkillable.

>>17730791
Pakis /SE asians/ Africans do it

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Then kill the driver and take over his route, That will be my alibi as well.

>not just walking out the front door.

>>17735362
That pic is the last shipment of Panther taxis. All were killed by Sandy.

>>17732466
Yes they would.


How else would they pay for the routine maintenance. If I worked for the FBI as soon ask bank robberies would happen I would start checking peoples service records at the Porsche dealerships in the area, Then if no luck go over to Mercedes

>>17730115
[college and electric youth plays in the distance]

Nissan Maxima

>>17733309
Good luck spending your money on the fucking moon

A black Rover SD1.

These, have three different generic/uhual vans with the backdoors open, ramps down ready to go 4-5 minutes away.

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>>17735740
Fug forgot pic

People run from the cops all the time on bikes, its easy mode

>>17735636
I watched that movie too.

>>17730021
we each have a gsxr 1000 waiting outside and we all take different getaway routes

>>17735838
No idea what you're talking about, I'm just saying its a pretty shitastoc idea to rob a bank and go to moon, you can't even spend the money you stole.

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V6 accord. Just enough to get to speed, and can blend in easy.

>>17733490
>Well i travel back to the future of course, couldn't of been me if i wasn't born yet.
>couldn't of been me if i wasn't born yet.
>couldn't of been me
>couldn't of
You'd get caught.

>slowly acquire a fleet of cheap newly identical shitboxes (same model and paint color)
>hire people to drive the cars
>the cops think it's in one of the cars in the scramble
>we actually load the money in a nondescript white work van and calmly drive in the opposite direction of the decoy cars

Another variation is to just use one driver and decoy car thats fast and easily recognizable (mustang, camaro, challenger...)

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The choice is clear

>>17730981
You legit expect cops to know how to drive?

>>17730532
This could actually work, only problem is that a cop car sitting right in front of a bank attracts attention I'd imagine.

>>17735608
And that's why you don't work for the FBI.

>>17732442
Not bad. I'd go for a Tundra: won't break down, true 4x4, plenty of power. Put a bull bar on the front and 300 lbs in the back.

>>17730843
>gen x

Too common and yours will stick out from other evos. Have fun sucking cock in prison.

>>17735334

this

if the bank is in orbit

Audi RS4 or RS6, wagon of course

already been used in countless of armed robberies as getaway vehicles because they work

>>17730021
Audi RS7

>>17739152
The bike cops in Aus are pretty fucking good desu

>>17730021
An American V8 4x4 truck with a heavy duty brush guard.
Doesnt really matter how fast youre going since there will likely be helicopters.
Trucks are also pretty subtle assuming youre not in a big city.

>>17736614
2FAST2FURIOUS much?

>>17730035
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/biker-bandits-rob-london-mall-jewelry-store-article-1.1198693

>>17733490
why even rob a bank if you have that car? just copy the scores for every superb owl, /NBA/MLB final and NCAA football and basketball national championship and make some bets

>>17741452
i remember that GTA heist

>>17730532
https://www.malaysiakini.com/news/380996

>>17730021
>purposely pick bank by a dock
>use boat as getaway vehicle
>live life as pirates

>>17741755
>purposely pick bank by a dock
>grab a couple women on the way out
>use boat as getaway vehicle
>live life as vikings

>>17739165
This will take a few accomplices but hear me out:
>phone in a bank robbery across town
>accomplice 1 steals some random car
>casually walk into a different branch of the same bank
>stolen car parks out front
>accomplice 1 goes into Starbucks across the street
>accomplice 2 shows up in your fake cop car to ticket the illegally parked car
>accomplice 1 comes out and starts arguing about the ticket
>casually rob the bank as everyone is distracted by the cop outside
>botch the robbery because lets be honest this would never go smoothly
>run out of the bank as a2 is throwing a1 into the back of the cop car
>fake a brief confused standoff
>get "arrested"
>fuckin bail
It's perfect.

>>17739152
cops on bikes ride them all day

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A bit of everything

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>>17730021
errr... bank robbers reported fleeing in a errrr white errrr toyota camry... repeat a white toyota camry"

Needless to say we were all successful for obvious reasons.

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>>17730021
Slowest criminal gets the hatch.

>>17742885
good choice as long as gradual sweeping turns on your get away path

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsuTyVth7Gk

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>>17743494
>snap oversteer from poor throttle control means powerful sports car is bad

I mean I guess for someone like you who can't drive they are pretty intimidating. :P

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>>17743510
normal I would be the first to agree that it's the singer not the song but this is a special case

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>>17743494
USA bottom left corner where the vette goes off the road

In Ontario, as long as you're in an area where the OPP patrol, as long as you have a shitbox that can go over 160km/h, you'll be set as long as they don't see your face, and you -only- rob the bank.

The real trick is to avoid robbing a bank in an area patrolled by regional forces, since they'll actually chase you.

>>17730021
>You and your 3 assailants
That's FOUR total people. Too many unless the passengers plan to shoot up the police vehicle chasing. The bank and police have pre-arranged cooperation training. So they already know for sure the range of response time as soon as the silent alarm button is pressed.

And as robberies go, robbers cannot threaten any teller because they are not only standing behind bulletproof counters, they are on high up flooring. That allows the counters to be pretty high up to my chest level and they are very deep. If I lean forward, and the tellers lean forward, they can touch my face. Not that they want to, but that is how evolved the teller stations are now after the remodel this year. Lunging and leaping over the counter is total fail. So all robberies have to be done with hostages since the teller only has to duck down behind the counter and you can't get to them.

My favorite bank also has a long isolated walk to the teller area. That means you as the robber cannot wear gloves and a mask or have your face and head totally covered up. As soon as you enter the bank, the info desk at the entrance will have pressed the "suspicious person alert button" and tapped the screen where you are. The computer then automatically follows you and switches cameras automatically just like in Las Vegas. Banks are allowed to have cameras and their own photo database, so if the suspicious persons entering are not identified, the police will be called. They don't come with sirens, but just come quickly for suspicious people that haven't done anything yet.

Well, maybe a female muslim could wear total coverings except for the eyes?? But without total covering, the computers will scan in your face and bone structure for a digital ID to search all photo databases.

>>17745806
Topkek anon.

Move out of the city.

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Because I want to get away with it.

>>17735334
How are you going to launch and what will you do after?

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>>17747760

>>17732442
n-nani?!

>>17730021
>Bank heist
These are almost never done now in my entire metro region along the entire 150 mile seaboard. The banks and police have not only made it too intimidating, their response time is 2 minutes or less as they've published in the newspaper. There have been a few attempts and all of them have failed.

The only "success" was when the black guy was a good shot and shot all the security successfully. Photo databases identified him. He had a prearranged flight (already pre-purchased long before for departure like within an hours of the robbery) to Haiti. Since all immediate airline purchases are computer scrutinized after a bank heist or kidnapping, that is how the suspect was able to use an airline.

Since he shot up police (all survived), the police department was super mad like a pile of fire ants. They hate anyone that tries to kill a police officer. So the police went after the suspect's family that lived in the area. They would camp out and pull over the cars for frequent inspection. The courts sided with the police because multiple people were shot by the suspect, so claims of "you racisss" didn't work that time.

So, it seems the only way to even have a chance of getting away is to be willing to shoot to death all security since they will come after you.

When taking the money out, be sure to soak the whole bag in heavily soapy laundry detergent water. The fake money bundle will explode and not put any permanent ink stain debris in your face or hands thus marking you. It also gives a chance that the money is not spoiled by the stain. Businesses and banks do not take money if it is stained in a "I have been stolen in a bank robbery" color. You can't spend colored money because they'll report to the police and show the surveillance video of you and your current car's license plate.

>>17744816
>you'll be set as long as they don't see your face
They don't need to see much to do their digital database matching. Even if you drastically change your hair or dye your skin color so that people and even past witnesses don't recognize you, a computer scan might turn you up in a list of suspects for genuine experts to hand check your alibis and travel records which may include requests to public database companies that track your car's GPS data, smartphone usage, credit card expenditures, and ATM withdrawels.

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>>17750033

>>17741755
>not using a submarine
is there anything that the police force or coast guard could even do to stop someone in a submarine?

3 dual sport bikes bought from Mexico in cash and a moving truck they can get into but park the truck in a ghetto so popo can think they where black or poor or something

>>17743494
Was he understeering and then overcompensating? he was in the other lane well before the oversteer began.

>>17750616
The military is always happy to have permission to do live ammunition practice on a genuine target.

>>17730021
>Outside you see your getaway vehicle(s), what will it be?
With FOUR bank robbers in it, such a car is too easy to spot and follow. It's still doable, but who knows in five more years? My city stopped getting police surveillance drones after discrimination complaints were filed. So the police only use drones now to map out POST-crime scenes that are outdoors. They take snapshots and the computer maps out the paths culprits took. It's also used to map out a debris field and establish search boundaries to search for weapons in case the robbers tossed it out the window to try to avoid the felony weapon charges.

Eventually, the city council will stop fearing the anti-discrimination charges and put surveillance drones up. They're much cheaper than helicopters and are also quiet and invisible. As soon as the bank robbery alarm button is pushed, the police station would direct a fleet of drones to swing their cameras over to the bank area. The computers would match up all vehicles leaving the scene even as the drones rushed towards the zone if one wasn't already nearby.

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I'd choose a Ford PIU with ecoboost, but stripped down to look like a civilian Ford Explorer.

Heist setup:
>fake emergency call to remote location
>when they arrive and exit their vehicle(s) radio jammer comes on to avoid back up calls
>give them the good ol' one two
>steal their vehicle(s), uniform(s), hide the bod(y)(ies)
>strip down all cop equipment (lights, radios, sirens)
>steal number plate(s) from Ford Explorer of that year
>5 hours later begin heist

Heist:
Depending on how many cars we have, it goes differently. If we managed to get three cars, then they'd all be parked in the parking lot or outside away from each other. We'd each hop in one and meet at 2 different rendezvous points, dropping a vehicle and picking up a heister each time. Otherwise we'd just hop in our undercover PIU and drive away.

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An sti will blaze through the sorts of ripped up paved back roads we have abundantly here in West Central Indiana, and hold up to 4 people and some heist cargo.

>>17753267
>hold up to 4 people
So it wont be the picture related?

>>17753251
>radio jammer
Jammers are to confuse receivers. It does not prevent sending of signals. Police radio are not the same as civilian cellphones which have a feature to allow the government to do a blanket local block with a jammer. Since your jammer is not at the police station, all police radio relays, and at all other patrol cars listening on the same channel, those people will hear the transmission.

>give them the good ol' one two
You have to kill them standing up if they have the "fallen down" monitor with old gear. A lot of our patrol officers have the heart monitor, so if you kill them, the station gets an alert right away.

>5 hours later
Missing officers and missing vehicle means the police are on high alert. You cleverly picked Ford. If it is GM, the station would have OnStar send the vehicle disable signal and that car would be shut down. Today's police have more and more technology on their side.

>>17753310
No, not gonna lie I was on my break at work and I just wanted to grab whatever sti picture showed up first. Time is precious in the factory.

Ironically though, I work at a factory that makes Subaru parts, and I do work on parts for the Impreza. I have a soft spot for the brand now.

probably peppy hot hatches bc small and fast, can drift
how about rs sti and mercedes amg hatch?

This is how I would pull it off
>Become a mechanic through a combo of technical school and a few years of apprenticeship
>Get job at mom and pop used car dealership with attached shop
>Hustle and save until I can afford 4-6 generic shitboxes
>Network among acquaintances and strangers until I've gathered at least 7 completely loyal and tightlipped partners in crime
>Scope out banks in a City that's a minimum of 300 miles away from my home in a neighboring state
>Use the skills of my machinist buddy(networking) to forge utterly realistic bogus plates for my getaway car squadron
>Find the bank with the least security and spend an additional 3 months mapping it's routines and activity level down to the most minute detail
>Outfit my getaway cars with radio signal jamming devices bought from crooked national guardsmen I've bribed with weed women and used luxury cars
>load up my guys at the specified time and dispatch the various vehicles to provide recon, back up, blocking, and assault
>Roll up to the target at the exact time calculated to be the least likely to have competent security, patrons who might fight back, a speedy response time, and witnesses who will remember our faces
>Realize that armed robbery is for dumb niggers that don't have the brainpower to plan a Chuck e cheez party let alone a crime spree and that I'm risking death or imprisonment for less money than I could make in a few months
>Drive to Arbys

>>17750616
Are you implying the coast guard cant do anything about a submarine?

Have a van parked a mile or so away in a quiet place. Ride to bank on dirt bikes painted black with no markings. After heist go back to van, load bikes into van, take off.

Four bikes
I guess dualsports but it really shouldn't matter
All stolen of course
About two miles away there's another car waiting, a Hyundai Santa Fe. Inconspicuous and boring as all get out. Dump the bikes and get in that, leave the state.

>>17754174
>>17735740
Beyond the Pines please go

>>17735362
They'll be gone soon sadly.

Most taxi companies have 10 year rules in place that require a cab be newer than 10 years. Although some companies are already making exceptions for Panthers extending their platform for an additional 1-5 years, I don't expect to see many in the future.

Curious to see if some departments rehab their vice like they did in the mid 2000s with the Caprice.

>>17730021
>Bank heist
You got to be fast. Remember that the police have practiced contingency plans for bank robberies. They have multiple cars forming perimeters and other cars heading in to the bank. They don't form a perimeter after the robbers have taken off. They are forming it live in real time.

And one of your enemies are the rectangular camera boxes mounted on poles, major intersections, and freeways. They are not necessarily observation or stop light cameras. Some are license plate readers used to track movement in this post 9/11 landscape. Your getaway car should not be near any of those as it can track your leaving time as appropriate to the heist.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Automatic_number_plate_recognition

Most of the police vehicles patrolling have been modernized with computer controlled video cameras. Some cars have small can-like-shaped "turret domes" on top. Those are additional computer sensors and cameras for automated identification of people and cars. If you see two separate ones, then that is a dedicated patrol car with lidar.

The general purpose cars usually have one. Even if your getaway car passes by one of these cars on the perimeter, the face(s) and plates will be recorded and get checked.

>>17730497
Look at the smile on that motherfuckers face!

>>17747760
You have to swap vehicles out of sight and get out of the area immediately. It's got to be done immediately and that includes all the time it took to do the robbery and run out to the getaway car. The bank employees know how much time to delay getting your money. You have to plan on being unlucky such as the first police show up in 30 seconds because they are in the area. If you don't shoot the cops, then they win because they will shoot bank robbers if you keep on trying to escape. Potential felony situations allow police to draw weapons without waiting for you to draw first.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Go_ahead,_make_my_day

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>>17730021

>>17742379

This sounds like an episode of Burn Notice

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>>17730791

>>17743494
>The Corvette fell over the hill

Just say a car crashed FFS.

>>17754143
>Are you implying the coast guard cant do anything about a submarine?
They can track it with sonar, but they do NOT have depth charges in peace time. This is not the world war 2 coast guard.

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>insert relevant top gear episode here

>>17730463
Which mods?

>>17755108
>Most taxi companies have 10 year rules in place

They get cars that keep giving tax advantages such as Prius. But Uber has taken a huge bite out of the taxi business as those drivers are not regulated, tested, licensed, insured, and taxed. There has been a big dwindling in taxi and shuttle type services here due to Uber/Lyft.

>>17730463
>Can outrun the cops and weave through traffic seamlessly.
What mods and tires? The police drive as fast as their radio. It may be 40 seconds for you to the next exit a mile ahead with the offramp being another 10 seconds long to weave on the shoulder and the waiting traffic blocking the offramp exit being whatever. But the police are already moving to that next exit and beyond due to the radio.

>>17741036
>they force you in a mountain pass and chase you until you audisteer into a cliff.

>>17735965
>not building your own stores on the moon and spending your money there

>>17730474
This, but they did it wrong.

>Silver Blobeye STI
>Scoopless Impreza hood
>Wingless Impreza trunk
>Short shifter
>Stock silver wheels
>Pirelli Supersports
>Blacked out front mount intercooler
>3in exhaust with high flow quiet muffler(s)
>E85 but can run 93 with flexfuel
>Methanol injection
>Obvious nitrous
>Professionally tuned with highflow intake, upgraded turbo, injectors, fuelpump, etc

I would blend in with everyone but I would have plenty of space and I would be able to fly past anything the cops have.

>>17738467
Are you gonna rob the Salty Spittoon?

>>17757418
>>17730730
how hard is it to shoot a loud, slow, flying in the clear sky 2000kg + helicopter?

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>>17730021
A late 2000s Chevy Impala with 300 horses dropped on the inside

>>17739136
/thread

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>fast as fuck
>looks like all the other full size american sedans, very easy to blend in

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Ever since Ronin and Giorgi Tevzadze.

>>17730021
>You and your 3 assailants have successfully pulled off a bank heist.
How much can you get from a teller windows anyways? After dividing it 4 ways or 3 ways if you kill the one patsy accomplice, the amount seems small for the risk.

picked car brands ubiquitous to region

tesla p100d if in california (0-60 2.3 sec)

volvo s60 polestar if in dc/virginia/maryland area (0-60 4.4 sec)/

2014 chevy ss or 2015 Ram 1500 R/T if in the south (0-60 4.4 sec and 5.4 sec)

2012 Nissan Juke R if anywhere else (Twin-Turbo) (0-60 3.5 sec)

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>>17730021 (OP)
>>17733701
Only a Twingo is sufficient.

>>17766856
Well, if it's something like an AH-64 or a MI-35 it may be the first one to shoot...

>>17735965
lmao you are retarded son

>>17730021
>Outside you see your getaway vehicle(s), what will it be?
It has to be a vehicle you can throw away. And it cannot be traced to you or your neighborhood. That's hard to do with so many cars that phone home now (GM, lexus, honda, kia, bmw, daimler, etcetera).

>>17730021
soccer mom suv in white with jesus and hillary stickers

>>17730861
>get away driver sits in getaway car wearing uniform

If the getaway car sits there for any time, the police will be able to track it. They see the location of the abandoned heist car. They then check the database of all other cars in that immediate area and see which ones left the scene. To avoid that, your getaway car you transfer to must have no GPS or any other device including cellphones that transmit their GPS location.

Your location must also not be bracketed by cameras because the police will do a simple subtraction and find out which non-GPS cars entered that bracketed area but did not leave until after the heist car entered that area.

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>>17766903
>Ronin

Fuck Yea

>>17766856
It's way up there and bullets lose a lot of energy trying to get up there.

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>>17730463
>newfags still fall for this meme

>>17730021
Probably a lightly modified E39 M5.