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What's the worst you ever fucked up /o/?

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What's the worst you ever fucked up /o/?
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clicking on this thread
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>>17718966
feel asleep at the wheel
ran into a tree
broke muh legs
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>be me
>driving back from grocery store
>almost in front of my garage when I remember I had to buy another thing from another store
>fuck I have ice creams that will melt I need to hurry
>bus is in front of me approaching its stop
>decide to surpass it lightspeed
>proceeding with overtake
>hear a buttfucking loud noise
>I hit the back of the bus with my right rearview monitor
>run like a motherfucker and hide in an alley
>no damage, only a yellow spot on my paint
>went home and feel guilty for the whole day
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>>17718966
Dated a bipolar/borderline girl and didn't get out when I noticed the warning signs because pussy.
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>>17718966
i don't know how but i keked way too hard on this
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>>17718999
Nice trips
I also didnt know that pic was a problem people had
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>>17719029
I had this problem ever since I got my dick circumcised after an infection.

I have to manually angle it since it's an average-sized cock.
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>>17718966
Not me but this happened to my friend.

There was a handicapped girl in our college who always had a thing for him. So after his break up with an another girl, he got drunk and called this girl up. This girl drives but had a special car where she controlled the gas and brakes with hand levers because her legs were paralyzed.

These both, IDK how, they had sex in his CR-V and they proceeded to do anal. This made the girl shit all over. And this happened at like 11pm night. So he calls me up and says me to come real fast. At that time, I lived with my parents because I had to save on a lot of things. So I begged my parents to go out (because dad was strict on timings) and promised them to come as early as possible.

I reach the place he told and I saw him standing near his car with his fingers inside his hairs like he was in a shock. He told me the whole story and then opened the trunk of his car and there is this girl lying there on her own shit smeared on the carpet and fuck that smelled like, well of course shit. I asked him "what the fuck do you want me to do?!" He told "Man we need to get this girl back to her home." As he told this, she tells that she came in her car.

(to be continued)
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>>17719066
you mean when you have an erection right?
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>>17719080
(Continued)

I straightaway pulled her back, had a 5 gallon tank of water in my truck (god knows for what reason it was there but it was a blessing), washed her whole under body area. We help put her dress for her. This guy was still trying to clean away the shit in the car.

And before anyone asks, no she cleaned her butthole. Not me.

We got her in her car and told her to fuck off and I will be on her tail. I told him to calm the fuck down and clean the shit off. I dropped her home 20kms away and on the way back to the place where he is, he called me saying he's leaving the car on the side of the road and will take a UBER back home and will clean the car at a carwash the next morning. "Nigga push it of a cliff!"

This happened like 6 years back and I have no idea where is this girl or he is because we pretty much left all contacts after we left college.

>TL;DR - Friend tried to have anal sex with a paralyzed girl in his car and she shit herself all over. He called me over to help him to clean the shit up. Cleaned the mess up, dropped her back home. Happened 6 years back.
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>>17719080
>These both, IDK how, they had sex in his CR-V and they proceeded to do anal. This made the girl shit all over.
>then opened the trunk of his car and there is this girl lying there on her own shit smeared on the carpet and fuck that smelled like, well of course shit.
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>>17719080>>17719092
Top fucking kek, this is so fucked up but so hilarious.

Why was the girl in the back of the car like did your friend keep her there against her will?
I
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>>17719092
Also the same guy here.

This may not look like a fuck up but that was the most fucked up situation I've ever been in.
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>>17718966
>What's the worst you ever fucked up /o/?
come to 4chan
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>>17719107
>Why was the girl in the back of the car like did your friend keep her there against her will?
Same guy here. No, she was very much interested in him for very long time. So when he called her up that night, she didn't care about anything and just came to the place he called her.
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>>17719123
Oh fuck and no, she allowed him to do anal.
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>>17719080
>>17719092
>>17719109

That was indeed a fuck up. Worth reading it.
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Pic related.
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>>17718966
There's this "turnaround" (just a U-turn that takes you from one side of a feeder road to the other) that I like to drive through at high speed and then floor it when going up the merger ramp. Not even a week and a half ago, I went full throttle in 2nd gear like usual up the hill, but this time there was a puddle that I didn't see because it was dark. I hydroplaned the moment I hit it and promptly crashed into the concrete barrier on the right, then rebounded off and hopped the curb on the left. My front bumper, hood, right fender, and front right tire are all fucked beyond repair, and I've got a decent amount of frame damage to deal with.

Lesson learned, never drive recklessly when there's even a remote chance that the roads will be wet.
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>>17719213
Why are there eyes on the passenger headrest?
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Turned left out of a parking lot in a big SUV with huge blind spots. I went to the far right lane, not realizing another car was there. She avoided me and hopped the curb and almost hit a sign. Me being the teenage idiot, I drove away afraid of getting in trouble.
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>>17719359
kek, roastie btfo.
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>>17719346
The lolz
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>>17718966
Got too much gas in a wet corner and spun the fuck out
My car's nose was 1 inch from a barricade
I drove home
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Took a bunch of ambien and decided to go driving, I rear ended some guy in a Tahoe as he sitting at a traffic light. When the cops came he asked me
>Have you been doing any drugs/drinking?
No sir nothing like that
>What happened?
I was playing Pokemon go and wasn't paying attention (no idea why I said this but he fucking bought it)
>ok wait here
Turns out he was illegal and didn't press any charges so I got off Scott free and just payed for his minor bumper damage (my car was totaled)
No dui no nothing, luckiest and worst day of my life all at once
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>>17719114
Yeah, same.
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>>17719802
Not even reckless driving charge for "using a phone"?

That cop saved your ass bro.
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>>17719092
Reminds me of the thread that some Anon started asking for advice on cleaning blood and shit out of car seats due to nearly the same thing.
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>>17719814
Yeah he was a total bro and cut me every break because I was polite and white I guess, I still get panick attacks though since I'm totally ashamed of my recklessness so I guess that's some kind of punishment
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>Replacing parking brake shoes on Volvo 240
>Get the old shoes out
>Need to order hardware kit because the old springs were all rusty and fell apart
>Tuck the end of the cable up out of the way
>Drive over the the parts store
>Cable works its way out and get caught in the wheel
>Rips the whole thing out of the car at 110km/h
>Fuck
>Park in gear and put chocks behind the wheels from then on
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>>17719029
That happened to me once when I tried pissing while taking a shit and had an erection.
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>>17718966

>Be me at 19
>Drove to arcade with 2 grill friend
>Drank the entire time
>Drive home very drunk
>Decide to cruise around and smoke a few bowls before I drop friends off
>Roads are wet because it was drizzling an hour prior
>I am driving like a jackass apparently
>Friend tells me to stop
>I say "STOP WHAT? YOU MEAN THIS!"
>Speed up through turn and immediatly lose control
>Slide front first into telephone at 20mph
>Airbags deployed
>Everyone gets out, all shaken but unscathed
>I go into complete panic mode
>ThisishowIlosemylicense.gif
>Try to call tow truck as fast as possible
>Too late, we see the cops coming about a quarter mile down the road
>Start crying, this is it
>Sober friend pulls me aside and says "ANON DECIDE RIGHT NOW. DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY I WAS DRIVING?"
>I hug her and say yes
>Cops come, they know I'm drunk
>We stick to the story
>I'm drunk and I keep fucking the story up
>Cops grill me for half an hour more but I won't budge
>They eventually leave
>Mom drives us home
>I avoid jail and keep my license

Two weeks later and I got a check for $7k. But then I got addicted to heroin and spent all of it.
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>>17719911
This is how I might end up soon, on friday I was tripping balls driving back home.

I'm trying to remember what turns I made, at what speed, how many cars were on the road at 10:30 PM.

Absolutely no recollection, my car had a few unexplainable dings the next morning.
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Put battery in and forgot to strap it down. Battery welded itself to the hood. truck didn't care. I miss my anemic shitbox.
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What is it with /o/ and drugs? These things shouldn`t go together at all.
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>cause a minor collision
>get a ticket for following too closely
>do traffic school and it gets reduced to a parking ticket
>woman i hit sues me for $100k

pretty much this, I hit the wrong person

also, the accident was december 2, 2015 and is still in negotiations. the woman I hit is "still in treatment"
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I drove on the wrong side of the road one night I should have just done a crappy u turn but I just floored it til I could get out of there this was before I knew how to use a defroster
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>>17719949
I'd just leave country desu
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>>17719949
how hard did you hit the vehicle?

You didn't have insurance?
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>>17719949
GLEN LERNER IS THE LAWYER FOR YOU CALL 222-2222.
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>>17719911
Anon, you're a fucking dumbass.
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>>17719949
>ms.
tits or gtfo
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>>17719965
rear ended her at 10-12 mph, she drove away and needed only a new rear bumper
I have insurance, which is why the immediate demand was my policy limit of $100k
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>be riding through roadworks
>they redesigned the on-ramp
>last corner unexpectedly sharp
>concrete barrier blocks right on the outside line
>target fixate on blocks
>hit them at 60-80km/h
>get dragged over them
>out of shame I crashed I ran to bike and try to lift it
>hurts too much
>walk to side of road and completely collapse
>paramedics had to tranquillize me
>broken bone in hand
>bruised both wrists, ring finger a rib, hip and knee
>year later and I still can't use my right ring finger normally
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>>17719911
>sober person not driving
you should get your brain checked
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>>17719974
dunno what that is, i guess the lawyers are just trying to roast me
>>17719966
actually, its GLEN LERNER IS THE WAY TO GO CALL 877-1500, get it right
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>>17719977
find out where this lady is and what injury she's claiming.

Guarantee shes faking it right? take pictures of her doing all sorts of normal shit
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>>17718966
>have car with a hand-cranked sunroof
>it only closes properly when you push on a certain part of it as you crank it
>rainy season starting soon, spend a Sunday with my father taking the sunroof off its tracks with plans to re-set the cables so it can close properly
>unfortunately we're both retarded and not actually wrench-inclined at all, it proves too complicated so we decide to give up and take it to a shop on Monday
>screw tracks back on and put sunroof back into place, cables are sticking out but figure it's ok
>going to work Monday morning, hitting 60 off the entrance ramp when I hear a cracking sound and a rush of cold air enter the car
>look in rearview mirror, see the entire sunroof gracefully spinning and flipping in wind
>pull over, decide I'm going to get it
>it fell in between the shoulder and the merging lane
>a big rig runs the thing over, another crunch
>cars are constantly entering freeway
>have to carefully time it so I dart into the merging lane, pull the sunroof away, run back to car and throw it in trunk
>car now has gaping hole on top, spend next month putting the completely warped sunroof on top of said hole whenever I park
>finally, was able to find another sunroof from the forums for my car, had it shipped to me, and got it glued/welded on
>will never get to crank open the sunroof as I drive down the PCH ever again
Yes, I am retarded. Pic related, sunroof taken off
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>be me
>have basic work truck (crank windows)
>have window down so i can stick my head out to back up
>reaching end of backing out, start rolling window up.
>panic as glass squeezes throat and cant pull head back in truck
>mfw when i freaked cause i was rolling myself up in the window
>>
>be 15
>last day of driving school
>fuckyes.jpeg
>driving down busy road approaching t intersection
>have right of way
>big ass fucking van in right lane
>decide to pass
>fucking impala runs stop sign
>ohfuck.gif
>instructor reaches over and swerves car left
>almost hit median
>somehow fucking survive
>still get certification for liscence
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>go downtown to see a band with my roommate
>have to work in the morning so i drove
>have some drinks while watching the band
>afterwards go next door to get some grub and drive home
>the band we just went to see is sitting in the restaurant alone
>holyshit
>chat it up with them
>roommate goes crazy buying everyone drinks
>ham it up
>i tell roommate we gotta leave, gotta work etc
>wont budge
>tells me he'll take a cab home
>get in truck
>wake up on the side of the road in a neighborhood a few hours later
>pissed myself
>"holy fuck where am i, what happend"
>flag down a brotrucker while still covered in piss
>he jumps me off and i drive home (thanks brotrucker)
>get back to the apartment
>roommate isnt home
>20 missed calls from his parents
>hes in jail

In his drunken stupor he tried to find my car at the end of the night but ended up trying to get into someone elses (wildly different vehicle), not knowing i wasnt there anymore.
I guess the vehicle owners saw him trying to get in.
He got thrown in the drunktank and his charge for attempted break and enter was dropped after the story was explained (minus my bit).
Learned my lesson for sure though, i should have been thrown in jail too.
Ive solved the problem by never leaving my house outside of going to work.
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>>17720030
holy fuck that's hilarious
>>
Mixed coolant colours.
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>>17720050
Instructor probably saw it as a useful learning experience, aside from shitting their pants., if it was indeed the other car that ran the sign.
I've had two or three close calls with such idiots, you can sense it eventually so long as you actually take the time to stop at intersections and actually watch if the other cars are braking or not, or if some dumbfuck thinks it's the best time in the world to pull out into the main street when you're right about to hit them.
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>Tried to drift my car in the snow
>Lost traction (who would have thought) and understeered into a parking car
>paniced and tried to hoon away
>car wont accelerate because the tires just keep slipping on the snow
>somewhat gain traction and accelerate fast
>slide into the next car


This being said I paid for my crimes
>>
>forgot I was riding my GF's 250cc bike
>merged into a 70-mph highway
>poor little bike was completely spun-out in top gear for 3 miles until the next exit

Fucking scary shit, luckily I was behind a granny doing 65 mph most of the time. Fuck riding a sub 400-lb bike on a windy highway though, damn near impossible to hold a line.
At least now I don't need to open up the carbs to clean them. That blasted out any shit that was built up.
>>
probably driven are the alcohol limit but not too much over.
Bout the worst i've done.
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>>17719949

should have hit her harder, this works well for the chinks
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>one year ago
>driving my mk.I Focus
>driving down a boulevard very late at night (3 AM)
>friend riding shotgun
>he tells me he wants to buy cigs
>ohshit, we just missed a store
>checkthisout.jpg
>do handbrake drofito and manage to pull a cool ass 180º turn
>go to the store, buy cigs
>feeling confident
>try to do another handbrake dorifto when approaching a tight turn
>wheels lock but the tail won't move
>almost end up inside somebody's garage

And that's how I learned how not to tempt the devil.
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>>17719911
Hang yourself anon, you're a fucking idiot.
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>>17720030
Thanks for making me feel smart for once anon.
>>
>13 years ago
>Own a 2.3l Mustang
>Slushbox has a leak, have to watch the fluid level or it slips bad in traffic
>At college, it starts acting up bad
>Limp it home, go to my father's garage cabinets
>ATF... ATF... Hmm... Can't find it
>Oh there it is! Label is trashed but oh well
>Pull the trans dipstick
>Dry as a bone
>Get the funnel, pop the cap, dump the bottle in the funnel
>Opening the 2nd bottle, notice it looks darker than it should
>Pour a little out in my hand
>Oh fuck
>It was used gear oil and the label was torn off so nobody would use it

Amazingly the damn thing ran like a champ and the leak stopped
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>>17720755
One more at my expense

>Wife had a major shitbox a few years ago
>Always told her to check the oil, it consumed about a quart a week
>She was usually pretty good about it
>One day, ask her how long it had been since she had an oil change
>50,000 miles ago
>She just kept the oil topped off and it didn't give a shit at 210k miles
>She had forgotten to check, ran the oil so low the oil pressure light came on
>Decide to change the filter and oil
>Amazingly it came off, probably weighed 8lbs, no joke, new one spun right on
>Only got a half quart of oil out of it
>Figure the thing is toast anyways, put 2 8cyl cans of RESTORE in it, top the rest with 10w40
>Start the car
>Stumbled, made grinding sounds, idled at 400 for a minute somehow, blew smoke
>Lifters making one fuck of a racket
>Suddenly it makes some awful noises, jerks around in the engine bay, starts to idle perfectly fine
>Wife drove it for another year, redlining the damn thing with every shift
>230k miles, still ran somehow
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>>17720540
This is why I hate FWD's no matter how quick they are. You look like a fucking dickhead whenever you try to do something cool or fun with them.
>>
>>17719961
>>17719965
>>17720006
it's not his problem, his insurance will handle it.
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>>17720832
Except for tray sliding. Tray sliding is fucking fun.
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>>17718966
cleaned my first car with rubbing alcohol and a rough old ass rag
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>>17719911
You still addicted bro? If not how did you quit. I'm struggling with opiate abuse myself.
>>
It's been about two decades since it happened. But I still laugh about it.

>be 16
>evangelion Vol 1 is being released on DVD
>take my parents car to pick it up at SunCoast
>driving back home
>keep staring at the dvd case not paying attention
>look up
>oh shit a fucking F150
>slam on brakes
>too late
>rear end the F150
>pull off into a Target parking lot
>F150 has nothing but a scratch
>parents car has front bumper completely smashed in
>apologize to the guy
>he says no need to call cops
>he doesn't even want insurance info
>drive back home
>explain to my dad that I was looking at a DVD case instead of the road
The total cost to fix my parent's car was about $1500. I basically spent my entire summer working to pay for it.
>>
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>>17719092
>happened like 6 years ago

>catching an uber
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>>17719114
This.

I want to leave but I can't.
>>
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>second year of driving
>leaving school during a massive snowstorm
>spot a bunch of cars making for the exit of the lot
>think I'd probably be waiting a longass time to get out if I got stuck behind them
>hit 60MPH in the parking lot in heavy snow in my hand-me-down first gen Volvo S80
>realize at the last second that I misjudged the gap
>nearly shit my pants
>slam on the brakes and steer full left
>end up oversteering somehow
>steer full right
>end up missing the lead car by inches and pulling a hektik 180 degree skid right onto the road
>thankfully there was no traffic coming
>campus police spotted me at the last second and pulled me over
>thought I just lost control of the car because of the snow, checked if I was alright and sent me on my way
pretty sure the whole thing was caught on camera too, nobody ever gave me any trouble about it though
not exactly exciting but I thought it was kinda funny
>>
>>17718999
Why didn't you go hom, put your ice cream and stuff in the freezer, and then go back to the store?
>>
>>17721632
>RUNNING IN THE 90'S
>>
>>17719878
>I tried pissing while taking a shit and had an erection.

I feel like this should somehow be a reaction image to freaky doujins.
>>
>>17720013

Sunroofs are evil. I've never own a car with one again.

>Buy $800 Mercedes 300E POS
>Sunroof rails both break open one day while I open it
>Have to remove half the interior and part of the trunk to get it out
>Parts to fix it are worth more than the car

At least scrapping the Benz helped me buy a Miata.
>>
>>17720053
Roofies?
>>
Last week, turned up a bus only road because I was ridiculously tired and lolsatnav
waiting for the inevitable fine to arrive in the post
>>
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>navigating using google maps
>"save 5 min by turning left in 80 yards"
>in rightmost lane
>lol okay
>change lanes into an escalade
>???
>still take the 5 min-saving turn 1 hour later
>>
>driving to final road test appointment
>if i fail it, license is reset back to a G1 (no highway, no driving without a licensed driver in the vehicle etc etc)
>already late
>doing 80 on 60 roads
>bus is stopped on the side pickin up people, starts to signal its coming into my lane
>light at intersection is yellow, cant get stuck behind this asshole bus
>SCREEEEE swerve left SCREEEEEE swerve right, no idea how I managed to overtake the bus without killing myself
>make the drive test
>get my full license

Felt really bad that day, I've never done anything that stupid again.

Also holy shit at all the fags in this thread drinking and driving. Stop it you fucking degenerate trash
>>
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>21 year old melbourne wog on a stoned run w/ his friend to hungry jacks at 2am
>love to drive my stock vz commo like a spastic, recently taken a liking to revving 5-7k thru roundabouts
>also want to kill myself kind of since i've been NEETing it for ages, recently diagnosed w/ borderline dissociative identity disorder
>coming up to 2nd roundabout, have been in car for a total of 44 seconds
>"let's see if i can do this one"
>rev up, delusions up, i'm takumi
>come in wide & recognise that i'm going to fuck up
>"shit"
>hit the gutter & bounce off, try to countersteer but the car starts spinning
>rip up handy & floor brake & hold wheel with right arm
>mount the opposite gutter, causing the wheel to spin to the right
>my arm flies off the wheel & my shoulder pops out & i can't move my arm as i'm trying to cut the engine
>hit a tree
>look at the passenger side to see if my friend is OK
>the entire passenger's footwell is pulp but the seat is OK & the window has exploded, but he is nowhere to be seen
>he opens my door as i am subconsciously punching my shoulder which puts my arm back in
>call my old man who also fucked up heaps like this in his youth
>he calls a tow truck, no cops no ambo
>can't sleep that night because i can't lie down
>go to hospo, minor fractures in ribs & shoulders

i was extremely lucky. liscence still intact, back on the road & employed, driving a vx with no intentions of being retarded again.
>>
>>17721625
Uber app was launched in 2012.
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>>17720936
Find better shit to do.
I decided to get hooked on bowling and cigarettes.
>>
>>17721780

Reading stories from Australians is great. It's like the orks from 40K.
>>
>>17721780
Smelly, dumb wog scum.
>>
>>17721814
im half aussie half wog
>>
>be 16
>driving with mom a few days before drivers test
>wasn't paying attention and ran up a curb and blew front passenger tire

Learned how to change a flat that day, also got yelled at
>>
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Was about to miss a turn, gf at the time screeched and I cut across a lane, car coming up on my side was speeding and in my blind spot at just the right time. I was in a suburban going about 10 mph, and they were in a camry doing about 45. Swung the nose right in behind the front tire, pretty much asploded them. RIP premiums for like 5 yrs.

hella dumped that bitch in college tho
>>
>>17719949
this is exactly why i have a dashcam and put my phone on record when i talk to people some cunt doesnt try and claim quadriplegia from a 5 mph bumper kiss. plus betcha i could countersue for a good bit for pain and suffering and mental anguish of having to deal with it.
>>
>>17718966
Overtorqued all spark plugs in my current car, ripping off either the tread of the plug or the head, I don't know yet, 60k km till next swap and the car is still driving
>>
>>17721780
>go to hospo, minor fractures in ribs & shoulders

And I as a taxpayer have to pay for your dumb decisions and idiocy.

Can't wait until the right wing government here obliterate this system where normal people have to pay to keep mouthbreathing wastes of space like you alive.
>>
>>17719029
happens to me when i try to shit the in morning with a stiffy/semi
>>
>>17721785
>implying it's 2018
>>
>>17719949
Is she a Jew?
>>
>>17720453
>Fuck riding a sub 400-lb bike on a windy highway though, damn near impossible to hold a line.
I DD a 250 and I have no trouble keeping a line on the freeway.
>>
It's /n/ but I feel it influenced me even in my car-driving life.

>be 14
>meet cute 13 girl from the same town online
>chat a lot
>she's immediately falls for me
>thinks I'm really cool, practically worships the ground I walk on
>meet on a couple of dates in town
>enjoy some kissing and touching
>her parents are away one weekend
>she asks me to come over and spend the weekend at her place
>gives me her address
>go there on my bike
>get lost because I've never been in that part of town before
>spend hours trying to find the place before giving up
>she calls me and asks why I didn't come
>I don't want to look like an uncool faggot who gets lost in his own hometown so I tell her I'm dumping her
>don't return any of her desperate calls or e-mails

Now I can't go anywhere (by car or otherwise) without checking out the route on a map first.
>>
>>17719911
>h addict
>pothead
>fucking retard at that
end it ASAP
>>
>>17720755
I made a similar mistake when I was 12.
>home alone one summer and it's lawn mowing day
>go to garage, get the mower out, put gas in and check oil
>needs a top off
>go to my dad's fluid shelf in garage
>see a bottle that looks like oil with tattered label
>start pouring
>immediately stop because the liquid is fucking green
>it was coolant
>called dad and he told me not to run it
>he came home with enough oil for like 3 changes
Basically we changed the oil 3 times just to get all the coolant out. In case anyone was wondering, mixing oil and coolant gives you a milky white liquid.
>>
I overtook the police on a roundabout without realising who they were.
>>
>>17718966
Talked to the police.

>>17719000
>Roommate just had his crazy girlfriend move in
>Met her a few times and she seemed alright, told him I don't mind if she moves in
>Might be his first girlfriend in 24 years
>Literally red flags everywhere after the first couple days
>She takes tons of medication for all sorts of problems
>Attitude swings like no other
>Found out she has a kid she picks up every other weekend so we have a youngin in the house from time to time
>BOSSY

I already know my girlfriend will end up saying something here soon. She's been on my case about saying something.
>He's been a lot more enjoyable to be around since she moved in
>Unfortunately she's a complete cunt

>>17719823
I remember the thread. Believe he borrowed his parents car or something like that.

>>17719213
>Red solo cup

>>17719838
Some cops are decent, some are complete power tripping pricks.

>>17719941
>Brothers '85 3/4 ton needs a battery so I can plow the driveway
>Grab a battery out of the tractor
>Massive battery, barely fits on the tray
>Battery strap is to short
>Set the hood down and for whatever reason I didn't slam it down
>Battery is to tall, posts start shorting out
>Immediately jerked the hood up leaving only slight burn marks in the hood
>Cut the posts on the battery
>When latched still shorted out, drove around with the hood propped up

>>17719948
But they do. Stimulants are great.
>Alcohol has been proven to increase lap times

>>17721708
I really like my sun roof.

>>17718966
Worse mechanical fuck up
>Decided to have an early morning smoke and EC stack
>Bug up my ass, going to change the front bearing on the Ford
>Pull rotors off, pack and prepare new bearings
>Have another smoke and a cappuccino
>Wasn't prepared to vegetate
>Put everything back on, go for a test drive
>Holy hell, metal on metal grinding sounds
>Pulling hard
>Somehow forgot to put the inner bearing on the driver side
>>
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>>17719911
>>I say "STOP WHAT? YOU MEAN THIS!"
>>
>>17719802
you were trying to die that day, right?
>>
>>17722292
no, H I S P A N I C
>>
>>17721791
You spent $7K on heroin and then dropped it because you found "better things to do?" How could there be anything better.
>>
>>17722373
$8k of heroin?
>>
>>17721778
>Stop it you fucking degenerate trash
Blow it out your ass
>>
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>driving home from somewhere at night
>recently worked on brakes
>suddenly hear a clanging sound every time the wheels move
>no idea what it is
>decide to try to limp it home because it is dark out
> get home, look under the car
>the right rear caliper is dangling from only one bolt, rubbing on the rotor.
>remember that I forgot to tighten those bolts when I was working on the brakes (I took a break, and forgot to tighten when I came back)
>Caliper is still good
>just need to buy a new caliper bolt and that's it.

Not dramatic, but it's my biggest mechanical fuckup so far. Hopefully it stays that way.
>>
>>17722093
LOL public health care is one of the best parts of Australia.
>>
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somersaulted my sand rail out at Dumont...

>see smallish finger dune
>try to jump it
>caught no air at all
>thanks vw engine but I know you can do better
>try again
>go waaaaaaaaay the fuck back
>gun it
>hit a steeper spot on the dune
>fucking slam into it
>see nothing but sky
>then nothing but sand
>manage to think "this is going to hurt" as the front end reacquaints itself with the earth
>red out when the roof follows suit
>keeps going
>finishes with all four wheels back on the sand
>and half the frame because snapped rear axle
>hear gas pouring onto engine behind my head
>unbuckle and bail out
>nothing explodes

could have gone worse, but sure as fuck could have gone better
>>
> be like 13
> its weeked
> dad rings home and says he needs me to move the ute from where its parked to down the hill
> say I cant drive
> he says dont worry just roll it
> OK dad
> I ask mum to do it because I cant drive and shes home
> shes too busy watching TV
> OK. Put ute in neutral, give it a push with my leg
> cunt starts rolling
> rolling faster
> brakes
> brakes wont work because motor not running
> scream like a little bitch
> crash into brick retaining wall in garden
> scream with furious anger at my mum for like 30 minutes for no reason
>>
Stopped for a cop I could have successfully ran from.
>>
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>>17721632
>>17721654
>When you drift a shitbox in the snow and almost die because you were impatient
>>
Did 120km/h in front of a mufti cop in a 70km/h area on one wheel.
>>
>>17722440
What kind of car do you have
>>
>>17722739
Asking for a friend who liked your story
>>
>>17722739
One of those unicycle bikes obviously.
>>
>>17721631
4chan being deleted from the internet would be a blessing honestly
>>
>>17719107
>Why was the girl in the back of the car like did your friend keep her there against her will
Did you miss the part where she is paralyzed and can't walk?
>>
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>>17719911
>>Drive home very drunk
>>Decide to cruise around and smoke a few bowls before I drop friends off
>>
>>17721639
Because the retard did afterall hit a stopped schoolbus picking up kids.
>>
>>17719988
Tits or gtfo means that anon wants to see your tits to prove you're a girl
>>
>>17722885
l2readingcomprehension
guy doesn't know what the lawyers meant by writing ms, he's not a ms and he gueses the lawyers are trying to roast him
>>
>>17722430
lmao
>>
>>17719911
I hope you fucking die without your friends in danger.
>>
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>>17721639
I had a fridge bag with ice packs inside so I had time, and since I don't live in a house but in an apartment I would've had to park the car underground and go home with the groceries.

However, who cares? I fucked up because I overtook the bus while it was approaching its stop and it hit the brakes the moment I almost left my lane, that's why I hit its ass with the mirror.

I fucked up, nothing tragic, but I felt so bad because I'm a careful driver and in 10 years I never managed to crash or do stupid things like this.
>>
>>17722904
Is that calamari? Looks delicious.
>>
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>>17722966
It's a mixture of fried fish: calamari, shrimps and small octopuses with zucchine.

"Fritto misto"
>>
>>17718966
Ending up sideways in a ditch from sliding on ice at 45mph or totaling a car going less than 15mph
>>
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>>17718966
>Take road trip from Minnesota to Indy to visit best bud
>Driving my Jeep that I love and adore and take care of like a child
>Decide to go on a trail with him in the middle of nowhere
>Proceed to engage 4WD
>GRINDS LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER
>Car slightly jumps forward like a bike that just stalled
>Cautiously drive in low gear until we get there, drives fine
>After checking out what we wanted to see start driving back down the trail
>Car starts fine, rolls out, but then the tach and engine revs like mad
>Transfer case isn't linked to the drive shaft and I'm effectively in neutral
>Have to drive the whole way back to his hometown with the transfer case lever held down like a mong
>Transmission shop guy gets it set in semi-permanent 2WD so I can get home
>End the trip two days early

When I got home I had to replace a couple gears on it and empty out the transfer case fluid. Retard who owned it before I did apparently grinded the fuck out of it and never changed the fluid. It was blacker than sin.
>>
>>17722318

Holy shit you faggot. She would have appreciated that you spent hours trying to find her.
>>
>>17723103
not that guy but we all do stupid ass shit when we're that young.
>>
>driving in a two lane road
>some nigger had his car parked in the middle of my lane
>had cars going through my left lane
>Think I can make it through, go for it at 40mph
>Hear like an explosion
>my right rearview mirror is folded
>look in my rear viiew mirror
>I destroyed the nigger's side mirror, it was hanging from a few cables
>get the fuck out of there
>my car only had a few black spots that went away after I cleaned it
>>
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>>17720445
Reminds me of something that wouldn't be out of place in a Tom and Jerry episode. Puts a smile on my face.
>>
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> 16 with no license
> smoke a few bowls with friend and get munchies
> borrow moms rav4 and go to carls jr
> no drive through, go inside
> place is packed, we're too high to be around these people
> get food and leave
> drop my straw while driving out of parking lot
> bend over to pick it up
> plow into classic camaro completely smashing rear quarter panel
> look up in horror
> nobody inside is looking at us
> back up slowly and drive home
> no damage to car
> spend rest of day looking out blinds for cops
>>
>>17721764
>>still take the 5 min-saving turn 1 hour later
kekked
>>
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>>17723183
>>
>in high school
>drive 88 accord with junkyard 86 engine
>it's fucking up all the time
>park at parents house, try to leave and car wont start
>>probably just needs a jump
>figure before I ask someone I need to at least get it facing the road so it'll be easier for them to help me
>needs to reverse and J-turn but I'm on a hill so I figure I can just use gravity
>come up with the BRILLIANT idea to push it in neutral then run after the car while it's rolling down the hill in reverse and jump in the door like fucking james bond and turn the wheel
>get mentally pumped, put it in neutral, get out
>give it the hardest push I can from the front
>slip in the snow as I do my herculean push and land face down
>watch helplessly as the car rolls backward down the hill and takes out the wellhead and cap to our family's well

certified retard on every front. it's one of those memories I still cringe at because I see the well every time I go there.
>>
>>17721780
where is that? looks familiar
>>
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>>17719949
I hate seeing glen lerner's faggot face on billboards
>>
>>17722069
im always really nervous about this when i change the plugs
>>
>>17723183
Kill yourself.
>>
>>17722318

>>17723103
This
>>
> be me
> in university
> drive '91 Mazda 626 hatch
> recently discovered Initial D
> it's icy
> my dumb ass had winters on the front and baldass all-seasons on the back
> there's a neighbourhood corner
> eurobeat playing out of the MP3 player speakers
> HANDBRAKE TURN
> DORIFTOooooo...
> ...spin out like a mong in the middle of an intersection going around 15mph
> somehow manage not to hit anything
thankfully, nobody was watching
>>
>picking up mom's car from the shop with her
>hers has a backup camera
>hmm why don't I try using this to back up
>misjudge distance through the screen and back into another car
> mom thinks I'm a terrible driver now even though it's the only accident I've ever been in
I'm never using a backup camera again.
>>
>>17718966
>win a small time lottery
>decide to buy a used miata, only a couple years old, sealing my fate
>also decide I'm going to get a bike
>take msf course
>talk to qt grill, tells me her name is quinlinn
>talk her up more day 2
>"Anon, you know I have a cock right?" but ofc phrased different
>quinlinn is a trap
>decide I can't afford to look stupid
>"uh yeah totally figured its not a big deal really"
>talk more
>fuck him in the miata next day.
we had our IDs out later in the course so I looked at his. dudes birth name was actually fucking quinlan. bad luck desu

my biggest mistake was getting the miata. I should've just kept with my minivan. lesson learned.
>>
>>17723183
I hope you crash into a retaining wall and die.
>>
>>17723513
that was my first time too :/
>>
>>17719911
Why wasn't she driving in the first place?
>>
>>17723055
W-wow... *tummy grumbles* I have to say that looks really good... *licks lips* You wouldn't mind sharing would you? *begs* :3
>>
>>17723143
he had it coming desu
hope you got your shit fixed
>>
>>17718966
>go to orielys
>buy wheel cylinder
>leave
>stop at red light
>"Should I go back to get brake cleaner"
>light turns green
>get T-boned
>>
>>17718966
>Decide to let gf drive my car
>Everything going great
>We stop at a stoplight
>Light turns green
>*stalls*
>BAM
>Person behind us rearended us
>Dumb bitch was on her phone
>Gets out of the car
>"Do we need ta go thru insurance"
>Yeah we're going through insurance.

Lady had her fucking baby in the car too.
>>
>>17718966
>replace propane gas tank with new one
>do groceries on my way back
>it explodes because it was 40 Celsius outside
>go back to see burning car swarmed by firemen
>>
>>17718999
>rearview monitor
>>
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>driving drunk
>taking exit at like 2am
>fall asleep
>start hitting giant orange construction cones
>wake up from noise
>slam on brakes
>2am construction workers staring at me in horror
>do an "i'm sorry wave"
>drive home
>pass out

Glad they didn't fucking report me, desu family members.
>>
>>17718999
I did something similar not too long ago
>in grad school
>pull all nighter
>driving home the next day to finally get some sleep
>on the freeway, dozed for a sec
>open eyes and see traffic stopped ahead of me
>cant stop in time so swerve off to the shoulder, hitting the bumper of some truck with my mirror
>waited for like 5min on the shoulder for the truck to pull off, but he just kept on putting along in traffic like nothing happened
>said fuck it, and went home and slept
>>
>>17719911
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyjQwyw0hZM
>>
>>17718966
>Girlfriend at the times birthday
>We go to olive garden
>Bitch loves olive garden
>But not this olive garden.
>Go to a second olive garden
>We order
>She's a picky little bitch
>Gets upset something about her olive garden dinner wasn't prepared by Gordon Ramsay himself.
>She still gets her shit boxed up
>We go home
>She puts the olive garden in the freezer section of my fridge
>Notice a smell 2 weeks later
>"Huh I dont see anything"
>Don't find anything for 2 months
>See a to-go bowl in my freezer when I put my ice cream away

Now I have old rancid olive garden smell that envelopes the entire apartment when the fridge door is opened, even for a split second

It's been a year.
>>
>>17723746
Not really /o/ related but funny
>>
>>17723746
>She puts the olive garden in the freezer section of my fridge
>the olive garden

do you say the mcdonalds and the burger king when talking about one of their food products as well?
>>
>>17723103
>>17723463
I have little to say in my defence other than that for a British middle class public schoolboy like me, the threat of personal embarrassment was (and probably still is) a far more powerful motivator than mere sex.
>>
>>17723765
Trust me, when it comes to her there is only ONE olive garden that matters. And it is the olive garden.
>>
>>17723733
sleepy driving is pretty bad
>>
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Should I avoid buying a car with an open. Recall ?
>>
>>17723766
(or than relationships with the opposite sex in general, though we all know what's on a young lad's mind)
>>
>>17723765
Not him but yes
>>
>>17720053
What band?
>>17720810
This is like the car my wife used to have.
>her family thinks you get oil changes every 6 months
>she drove 400+ miles twice a month for a year in addition to normal driving
>oil changed twice
It's a wonder that it still runs
>>
>>17719949
Sounds like a bitch, good luck anon.
>>
>>17723781
is this a millenial thing?

"would you hand me my samsung" rather than "my phone"?
>>
>>17722373
Because bowling is fun and doesn't make you a dumb junkie nigger
>>
>>17723793
You would actually say, "Would you hand me my Samsungâ„¢ Galaxyâ„¢ S8+â„¢ 64GBâ„¢?"
>>
>>17723806
"This Samsungâ„¢ Galaxyâ„¢ S8+â„¢ 64GBâ„¢?"
>>
I slowed down at a questionable yellow instead of flooring it.
Dude behind me rear-ended my SW20 at around 20mph and totaled it.
>>
>>17723766
>British

Oh, so you're not interested in women.
>>
>Be about 15
>Father is dying and family is poor
>I'm replacing the exhaust on my family's 1990 Mazda 626 that has been sitting in the driveway for six months
>Finally finish, really proud of my work
>Have to move it up the driveway
>Don' know how to drive
>Rev engine and dump clutch
>Car reverses into a boat trailer and destroys the trunk
>Costs $900 to get a shop to straighten the body and replace/repaint the trunk lid

On the plus side I'm 34 now and have never had a real accident.
>>
>>17723775
depends what the recall is for
>>
>>17723897
>On the plus side I'm 34 now and have never had a real accident
nor have you driven again?
>>
>>17723775
Buy the car and take it in to a lexus dealership, they'll remedy it for free.
>>
>>17719029
I'm a grower, so I'm a little above average while hard, but have nothing to work with soft. This has happened once or twice before.
>>
>>17719000
My first (and only) gf was borderline. I feel you pham, Shit was a trip.
>>
>>17719928
Tripping oh what?
>>
>>17723871
I was interested in girls back then but now I'm married.
>>
>>17718966
>high school gf and I left a party to go fuck
>I'm pretty baked
>she had a weird thing for exhibition shit and wanted to do it in this super open parking lot
>I told her to go fuck herself and found an empty one and parked behind a building
>start getting to it
>see a car round the corner, immediately recognize the front headlights as that of a Chevy Tahoe
>fuck
>deer spotter comes on
>FUCK
>immediately remember I'm riding dirty, and have about a gram sitting in the door handle
>pull pants on
>cop makes me get out and stand by his car
>I'm shaking
>cop tells me to calm down, it's not a big deal
>goes over to the rear passenger door where gf is, and weed is sitting in
>opens it, questions gf to make sure she's no a hooker or I'm not raping her
>literally no way he didn't see the weed, he was less than a foot from it
>tells me that we didn't do anything illegal, we were both consenting 18 year olds, etc.
>he let's me go
And that's how I had my first panic attack.
Apparently the cop was suspicious because the parking lot I picked is usually abandoned past 7pm. Should have went with the weird public sex bullshit.
>>
>>17718966
>19 years old
>friend is having a party
>show up a bit buzzed
>a few good friends are leaving to get cigarettes
>i smoked and needed some at the time so i go with
>before we even get into friend's car i can tell he is blackout drunk
>beta dumb teenager so i didnt say anything, store is right down the road, plus i'm not anywhere near sober either
>we get in his mom's mid 90s grand am
>sit in back, dont put on seatbelt, no clue why, first and last time i ever didnt wear one
>friend starts driving down a sidestreet and is swerving all over the place
>everyone else in the car is hammered
>i finally pipe up and say "hey you ok? should i drive?"
>friend slurs that he's fine
>takes a left turn and goes way too wide
>headed right for a tree
>he hits the gas
>ohshit.tiff
>at the last second i instinctively turn my body sideways, duck my head down and cover my head with my hands
>he goes straight into the tree at at least 40MPH
>i pop up into the air from the impact and feel my hands (still on my head) slam into the roof of the car
>guy in front passenger seat gets out
>he wasnt wearing a seatbelt and his face is covered in blood
>i look back at the car and see where his face cracked the windshield
>he says "im on probation, i cant get in trouble," runs away, i never see him again
>car's front end is completely caved in, fluids spilling everywhere
>driver is in car still not understanding what happened, keeps trying to shift gears and hitting the gas

(contd)
>>
>Driving with the wife heading back home
>In some major construction area leading up to the off ramp exit I need to take to get home
>in far left lane
>bunch other cars blocking my path to get to the exit
>fuck it, mash the gas
>oh yeah, it's a fucking toyota matrix so it does fuck all
>miss exit but figure I can squeeze through the cones and still make it
>nope
>smash into the cones (the big over 6 feet tall ones)
>they go flying over my car and into the traffic behind me, cars are swerving everywhere
>did manage to make the exit however
>mfw
>>
>>17724002
(contd)

>i slap my friend around and he soet of realizes what happened
>starts freaking out, his lifelong dream was to be a cop, this will ruin him
>neighbors starting to notice
>i call party host and tell him what happened
>he runs over to where we are and agrees to take the blame, the DUI, everything, to save his friend's career
>tfw i will never be this good of a person
>cops show up
>host lies and says he was driving, glanced at the radio and hit the tree
>he blows over the limit plus he is underage so gets arrested and thrown in the cop car
>cops take us back to the party to ticket everyone else and look for adults
>host's younger sister sees her brother cuffed in the squad car and starts freaking out
>nobody can shut her up
>she ends up telling the cops he wasnt the driver
>i get a $300 drinking ticket and a ride home from my angry mom
>driver is now a security guard at wal-mart

It's been many years but i think back to that night so often and wish i would have done more.
>>
>>17723788
It's amazing what engines can do. My stepdad thinks that oil changes are a way for oil companies to take your money. He waited 3k out of the factory on his 02 Silverado, changed to full synthetic, proceeded to never change the oil again. He gave it to his kid after it hit 300,000. He's doing the same thing to a 2012 right now. I don't get it, I drove the 2012 the other day. It runs fine.
>>
be 17 on a 125 sinnis apache
going to school come up to roundabout way too fast end up bumping up the curb on the other side

mfw no one else saw
>>
>>17720832
How do you think us non-hatchback honda civic drivers feel?
>>
>>17724022
>secretly the host told his sister to say that when he was cuffed so he could look like a hero for trying
That's what I would have done anyway. Your fuckups are not going to become my lifelong problem. Once you leave the party you are no longer under my control.
>>
>>17724022
Damn, why the fuck would he ever agree to take a DUI for someone? That shit is life ruining.
>>
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>Driving home from a hike in the hot summer
>Got plenty of time before I have to go to work, which is good
>Get stuck in traffic on the way home
>Person in the vehicle next to me looks remarkably similar to one of my coworkers
>Glance over to take a look
>Completely forget that I am in stop and go traffic
>Roll my jeep right into a camry right in front of me
>My car is fine, camry's entire rear bumper is fucked but is drivable
>Driver is fucking pissed, I have to call staties just to get him to calm down
>Cop doesnt give me a ticket
>Drive home and clean up before work
>Walk in with my tail between my legs
>People are asking me if I am ok, they think I got into a major accident
>Manager makes references to pic related
>It is so fucking accurate and perfect I can't even get mad at him for it

Turns out the girl I was looking at was actually one of my coworkers, so thats something
>>
>>17724373
>Completely forget that I am in stop and go traffic
so you normally do not look ahead when driving?
>>
>>17724380
At the time I was doing really bad target fixation on the vehicle next to me. I really was curious if that person was who I thought she was.
>>
>>17723183
AHAHAHAHAHA, boomer btfo.

Millenials rule.
>>
Smashed straight into a bollard when my gf decided to grab my penis for a laugh.
>>
>>17724420
you smashed the bollard straight into her afterwards, right?
>>
>>17723183
End it
>>
>>17724469
No I stopped and left the car to assess the damage.
>>
>>17724484
>afterwards
>>
>be me
>tired as fuark
>almost passing out walking to my car
>get in
>finally I can go home
>back out of parking spot
>right into a car that I could and should have easily avoided
A rather embarrassing bumper fix was all it was but damn I felt dumb
>>
>>17724561
driving while tired sucks
shit really gets you
>>
>>17724561
You're a dumb piece of shit because if you were almost passing out you should've waited before driving away being a danger to other drivers.
>>
>>17718999
>right rearview monitor
That's a SIDE mirror, for monitoring things BESIDE your car, such as your blind spot.
>>
>Buy 125cc scooter from neighbor for 200 bucks
>Just generally beat upon it and hoon with it
>Doing stunts with it, wearing my fancy schmancy riding gear I got recently for my other motorcycle
>WOT with rear brakes on, dump off the brakes
>Do a sick wheelie for probably 5 feet
>Scooter flips backwards
>I'm uninjured but I cracked my new-ish Shoei helmet
>>
>>17724615
I know, it was dumb. Won't do it again.
>>
>>17719911
>That story
plus
>Two weeks later and I got a check for $7k. But then I got addicted to heroin and spent all of it.

And that pattern of behavior anon is why you will spend your entire life feeling unhappy and unfurfilled and never having any money.
>>
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>>17723143
>calling someone else a nigger when you hit a parked a car and drove off.

>>17724022
>>17724242
Yeah, FUCK no. I wouldn't take DUI for anyone. Especially if he wanted to be a cop. Kid can't make good enough decisions to avoid a DUI; he probably would suck as a cop anyway. If he wanted to be a cop he should have committed a heinous crime.
>>
>>17718966
>Be me
>Replacing clutch on a 1985 BMW 325e
>Drive up on ramps on the front tires
>Jack up the back under the rear differential
>Jacking up the back moved the front tires back until it started rolling down the ramps
>Jack rolled back as well, the entire car was about to pin me between the wall and the car
>The car pushes me down
>The back of the car stays on the jack

That day I could have been a cripple or dead because of a freak accident caused by stupidity.
>>
>>17724704
Found the nigger
>>
Not a fuck up, more like a funny story. It happened today

>be 20
>decide to shave and get a fresh haircut
>somehow end up looking 16
>go out to pick up my brother from school
>flooring it all the highway
>no cops so feel pretty confident
>get out of the highway
>5 minutes later see red and blue behind me
>ohfuck.jpg
>pull aside
>give papers to cop
>nervous af thinking how I'm gonna pay the ticket
>he told me he thought I was underage
>this happens two times more on my way home

After the first one I started driving very conservately, although I always do when I'm with someone else in my car.
>>
>>17724730
witty comeback, honey
>>
>>17724855
>implying I'm the guy you originally replied to

>>17724839
lmao
>>
>>17719000
Dated a bipolar/borderline girl with depression and anxiety and didn't get out when I noticed because I thought it was something that would go away with time. Was with her for three years

Bonus:
Broke up two months ago and I was fine but then I started talking to her again and I realised how much I actually liked her. Became really pathetic and would send her paragraphs on Facebook until she blocked me, then I did the same through texts until she blocked my number, then I did the same through Instagram until she blocked me on there too. Even sent her a couple of letters.

Genuinely don't know what to do with myself anymore lmao
>>
>>17724956
>Don't know what to do with myself anymore lmao

Dude you're on a car board. Obviously you like cars, go buy a project or something or start fixing up your shitbox.

Work on you so you can become a better you and don't sit back and regret breaking up with her. You two obviously didn't work out for a reason. You're better than that shit.
>>
>>17723766
No wonder you pasty fucks will be extinct from your own island in 60 years.
>>
>>17724049
I do mine every 50k had several cars with 200-300-400k
>>
>>17722323
This isn't really that bad, but this is an underrated post.
>>
>18 years old delivering pizza.
>have no license.
>Shit box at the time is 92 jeep Comanche.
>Snowing like crazy all night.
>Take delivery to aparment complex
>Can find right building
>Try to pull sick j turn to turn around.
>Backed into park car at about 15mph.
>Drive right up hood and damn near on roof.
>Drive off because jeep things.
>Find correct building deliver pie get tip.

Tldr: unlicensed pizza driver hit and runs then completes delivery.
>>
>>17725238
How did they let you get a delivery job without a license? I had to prove I had one to be a lube tech
>>
>>17722318
jesus christ
>>
I've never really fucked up while driving but almost lost an arm while riding passenger
>riding with buddy on base
>come to 4 way stop
>car coming in side lane but he has a stop sign still and we are there already
>go through
>other car barrels through stop sign
>had arm hanging out window up to this point and pulled it in to grab a smoke
>t-boned right after pulling arm in
>other driver is an officer and tries to blame it on us but there was a pmo watching the whole thing and fucked the officer
And that's how I almost lost my arm to a dumb fuck who can't drive
>>
>>17723513
>not being able to sense traps
Pleb
>>
>>17722430
Dumb cunt should have driven it for you
>>
>>17724242
They try and make it out to be life ruining but it really isn't. Almost everyone I know has one and they're all doing fine
>>
>>17724049
So, you're saying your stepdad is correct?
>>
>>17724714
>the entire car was about to pin me between the wall and the car
Literally just jump nigga
>>
There's an intersection on my way back from work that's like, A little bit sharper than 90 degrees, and goes from neutral to uphill. I took it normally (AKA blasting it in first) one day during moderate rain and ended up doing a complete 180 and staring at the car behind me, who thankfully stopped, and then proceeded to laugh as I backed up to let him past.
>>
>>17719855
I knew that was familiar and reading this brought back memories of my first car. I was never able to fix my parking brake shoes so I just made sure to park on level surfaces
>>
>>17723513
You literally lived my dream and you have the gall to bitch about it.
>>
>be 16, no license
>go every sunday to a place where the cool cars gather
>much like a meet, cars all day going up and down the rather long avenue
>two gas stations on each end of the avenue where car guys meet
>at first i took pictures, but made friends to hang out with after some years
>dad works at this avenue, there's a traffic light in front of where he works
>decide i want to take my car to the meet
>my shitbox was broken
>get my dads wife's car, he had it that day but wouldn't use it before going home
>drive up and down all day with friends
>race a passat variant
>race a cooper s
>race an audi a3
>race my friends
>race a bicycle
>burn tires
>quickshift all day
>downshift and floor it on every corner and roundabout
>around 6:00 pm dad decides he wants to go home
>starts to organize things without telling me
>passing in front of his workplace, everything cool, the street is packed
>around 5 cars full of autists
>loud music, sirens, horns, revvs ,burnouts, yelling
>took us some 7 minutes to get close to the intersection
>had all my windows down, loud music and friends revving
>everyone was having a good time
>dad probably heard the tire noises, revvs and horns and decided to go check it out
>he stops and looks directly at me, i for some reason realize and look at him
>wasted.jpg
>get scared, try not to pannick
>look at him, smile and wave like nothing is happening
>friends in front of me being autists
>lights turn green, everyone's flooring
>get out of there as fast as i can
>he calls me
>tells me to get my ass back there


the rest is history, boy did i hear some that night.
>>
>>17723143
This is the fucking best thing about folding mirrors. Accidentally bang something? No biggy, all that linear motion converts into rotational motion folding the mirror instead of obliterating it.
>>
>>17724242
>That shit is life ruining.
Lol no it isn't, you go to some stupid meetings and pay a fine, hardly life ruining
>>
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>>17724855
>honey

t. Joe jack
>>
>>17718966

>me
>broke college student
>own shitty integra
>it needs a new timing belt
>can't afford to have it done at a shop
>jack the car up using two scissor jacks
>no jack stands
>no wooden blocks
>no chocks by the wheels
>spend 5 hours under the car like that since the most I had ever done before was a brake job

I lived though.

>several months later
>buy almost ruined oem wheels on craigslist to replace the horrid 17s put on by the previous owner
>tires are decrepit and rotting
>try to keep up with some miata on a back road
>enter corner and realize I'm going way too fast
>stomp the brakes while turning
>lift oversteer, rear wheels leave pavement

Somehow I recovered it and didn't slam into a tree, although another guy on that cruise spun his camry into a tree.

>several months later
>buy shitty rsx seats from some guy on craigslist for $60
>decide to weld brackets to make the seats fit in the integra
>borrow my dads flux core welder that I don't know how to use
>brackets look like literal bird shit when I'm done
>"looks good to me"

Fortunately I wisened up and bought seats meant for the car before I had the chance to get in an accident, the seats were mounted too high so my head was touching the roof and they probably would have broken loose and caused serious head and neck injuries to anyone unlucky enough to be in the car at the time since the belt buckles bolt to the seats not the floor. Still have the car as a daily, it's a lot less shitty now that I repainted it and replaced the engine.
>>
>be me
>drive an EF XR6 Tickford
>have a fight with girlfriend or something, can't remember just remember being pissed off
>driving home, decide to take the country road to calm down
>hooning through the country, about halfway home it starts lightly raining
>approach a roundabout where the first exit is a slight left, followed by a medium right
>going about 90kmh
>take left fine
>turn right
>overtaken by the boot
>full 360, most of it was backwards up the wrong side of the road
>spin around the other way, bounce up a curb and off the road into a small ditch
>panic mode engaged
>wait for the car behind me to drive past (he would've only seen me parked on the side of the road, wouldn't have seen the sick drift)
>hoon up road and pull over about 100m
>check car
>zero damage
>bounced off a curb at likely 50kph and it's fine
>if there was a car coming the other way would have likely died and or killed someone
>drive home and convince myself nothing ever happened
>>
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>>17719855
>driving the car to get spares for the essential component of the car you are driving
>>
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>driving behind pals on the way home from the store
>late at night, windows are fogged to shit and I don't know the way back
>follow them closely
>blue lights
>oh shit
>friend and I both have stolen goods from the store we just visited
>oh fuck they're coming for it, I didn't know they did that for shoplifters
>stuff it in a dirty corner and tell him to play it cool and drink his stolen drink like he bought it
>preparing for the worst
>officer comes up
>"Why didn't you yield, you could have hit me if I weren't paying attention"
>wat
>takes my license
>no ticket, just a verbal warning
>finish shitting myself, go home
The moral of the story is yield.
>>
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>>17718966
>Just got out of jail a week ago
>Get some acid with my buddy
>Hanging out at his work
>Been about 40 minutes since I took it, starting to feel it
>Fuck it, let's go get some rolling papers
>Drive to the gas station 3 blocks away
>I don't realize it at the time, but my blinkers weren't working (light would stay on steady)
>Make the turn onto the street the gas station is on
>cherriesandberries.jpg
>fuck me
>Pull into the gas station since it's the closest spot
>turn on cab light, get my I.D., mentally prepare myself and kind of freaking out
>"Sir do you know....." etc etc etc
>I hand him my ID, he asks for insurance and registration
>Pull open my glovebox and pull shit out
>Can't find my registration or insurance
>Digging through it, hands are shaking, I'm sure my pupils are huge
>I feel like he knows
>Manage to find registration but not the insurance
>Cop goes back to his car
>Think I'm fucked
>Eventually comes back and says to make sure I get my turn signals checked out and to stay safe

>mfw
>>
>>17726357
pics of your 'tegra?
>>
>>17718966
>middle of the night
>driving truck, 20k owing
>be drunk
>pass out, swerve
>over correct and flip
>complete write off
>lucky I didn't kill someone
>mfw insurance voided, because drunk
>mfw finance company wants their 20k within two weeks
>mfw blow 400 on a 400 limit

Would've lost my job, and probably killed myself if I blew 401. Still paying the debt off.

>inb4 why finance you retard?
I know, I just wanted the truck bad...
>>
>>17727440
Financing isn't a bad thing, anon.

In your case, you blew it. No pun intended.
>>
>family tradition of getting drunk and drifting cars in the snow
>we love the snow, because we're genuinely good at it, both safe and unsafe driving
>allows us to know well never get pulled over because we'll outrun
>prove it one night, kinda
>on way home from bar
>drunk off my ass, drifting every turn in my 98 explorer
>decided I'm done, go home following a brother who was with me doing the same shit in his shitty cavelier
>pass school parking lot on way home, brother wants in so I follow
>I fucking floor it, only a couple blocks from home I'm basically safe
>super high speed right into the lot, bring it right up to the curb
>notice brother didn't do anything on his way in
>super high speed leftFUCK THAT'S A COP
>detracted and afraid, I forget to catch my traction again and smash into the sidewalk area at the front of the school
>floor it, going right toward the cop now because the exit is a loop
>pass brother, hard left, this turn feels really off
>hard left again because that's how the loop takes you, still feels fucking off
>I see his light come on and he's coming
>super hard right, two 90 degree turns in a row to keep toward my house
>take off, pedal on the floor
>straight through an intersection
>my street is next, I already don't see his lights so I make my drift into my road
>floor it, I'm about 8 houses down, on the left, and on a big ass hill
>now I know why shit feels wierd, I caused a flat when I hit that curb
>make sure I've got a wide turn here into my driveway for maximum speed when I hit my unloved driveway
>make it up, shut the car off, run inside, people still awake
>just shutting off all the lights
>cop never finds me
I had work the next morning too so when cavalier bro got there we went to my garage for a spare I knew I had and a floor jack. Changed the tire in my driveway, not a dam thing bent
>>
>>17719911
Vinny?
>>
>>17726154
>dream is to fuck crossdressers in a Miata
Get a better dream, faglord.
>>
>>17722318
weaponized autism
>>
>>17722093
Australia tried a tiered system back in the 90's after having universal healthcare, costs went up for everyone and quality of care decreased. Its never going to try that again you moron
>>
>>17723766
Read: penchant for buggery.
>>
>>17719911
you're a bad person
>>
>>17723746
some bamboo charcoal clears the smell up in a good week
>>
>>17721778
you live in towrongto onterrible too?
>>
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>>17718966
>be me
>15 yo
>goes camping with dad
>dad falls down cliff
>tries to drive dad to hospital
>dad barely conscious
>cop follows me for 100km
>arrives at hospital
>gets license taken off me before I even have it
>spends 2 days n lockup
>>
>Be me, 19 yrs old
>Shitbox can't idle steady at 900RPM;
>Decides to fiddle with the bolt that controls air flow or what the fuck ever;
>Somehow tune it correctly, car is idling fine;
>Car is dual carbureted, so I have to repeat the process on the other carb;
>Fiddle the bolt of the other carb, shit goes wild;
>RPM goes over 1500 for no reason;
>Try to undo it;
>RPM goes down to like 400RPM, engine shakes violently and stalls;
>Undo it again, pull the choker and decides to take to the mechanic as they have a proper equalizer(I just went by the sound and vibration, turns out that wasn't reliable);
>Accidently let a bolt fall inside the carb as I was mounting the air filters;
>Panics, turns off the car and call the tow truck;
>One day and 500 bucks later, the car is idling good;
>Ask the mechanic how he pulled the bolt out of it;
>He literally pulled it with a magnet.

I'm never messing with carburetors again.
>>
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Deer ran in front of me, try to miss him, lost control and slammed into a mountain wall
>>
>>17718966
>16
>absynth
>new infiniti g35
>wet drift
>ditch
>storm drain
>tires divorce wheels and move back home
>tow truck
>jk drove home on rims
>>
>>17729007
what country? i thought most civilized countries allow for speeding if its to carry an injured person
>>
>18 driving after/during a heavy ass snow
>roads aren't really plowed
>with my best bro
>cruising some back roads
>end up needing to turn around for some reason
>backing up
>"does that look like a snow filled ditch to you?"
>keep backing up
>fall into snow filled ditch
>eventually some truck comes by and yanks us out
>went better than expected after that was said and done
>>
>18 driving after an ice storm
>driving way out of town to get some pussy
>GPS screws up I get off course
>end up going on these back roads for awhile
>going 30 MPH on ice
>see a stop sign
>freak out
>slam on brakes
>skidz
>end up in ditch
>walk to a few houses a few blocks away
>nobody home
>go back to car
>some truck is there pulling it out
>proceed to getting pussy out of town
>>
>trying to impress girl I work with
>it's raining
>we're cruising
>back roads of some industrial area
>hit an e-brake turn
>spin out
>feel like a loser
>proceed to drive very cautiously rest of the time
>had a few dates after but never got further than making out
>>
>going to electronics store for parts after work
>roadside has another lane worth of space on the other side of the line, turn lane into the parking lot for store branches off into this extra space
>exceedingly common for people to just jump into this space early
>traffic is backed up and packed
>decide to just hop into the lane, excited as shit to buy new computer parts
>forget there's one more uncontrolled intersection going into an adjacent residential area
>traffic has parted for people turning left into this intersection
>cant see this
>nor the SL1
>hello front quarter say hello to my engine
>RIP first car
insurance still paid me like $12k so I wasn't too mad at all
I still bought another brand new econobox like an idiot tho
>>
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>>17721490
Worth it i bet
>>
>>17729026
Thank you for your honesty,sir.

Also, you tried to tune a dual carb with little to no experience?
Did you just blindly go in, thought that since it is old tech it should be no problem?
No hatrred,just curious.
My first car had a carb, and I would do what I could before making adjustments. (My case it was usually the ignition,85 Camaro)
>>
>>17725238
Fuck you for endangering a rare '92. Those shits were literally custom order only.
t. shitbox '89 'manche owner
>>
>>17729260
Yeah, it's was a VW air-cooled engine, the carbs from those engines are a pair of a single stage Solex H40/44 without any electrics.

And I wasn't going to fully tune them, just regulate the idle by tweaking with the bolts and paying attention to vibrations and the sound. I saw my father doing it once and I figured it was easy, but then again, I was 19 and stupid.
>>
>>17719949
Vegas anon!!
>>
>>17729007
Fuck whereever that is, that's some bullshit.
>>
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>>17729046
That's not really a fuck up anon, that's just some genuine bad luck.
>>
>>17718966
I tried to see if my Dakota could fly.
>>
>>17729424
elaborate?
>>
>>17729530
>Going to my buddy's place for the weekend (he lives 50 miles from me, and shitbox only likes premium)
>Taking a new route he discovered to shave some lights and traffic that only adds about 2 miles to the trip
>Speed limit on the road is 40
>I am doing 50
>Halfway along this route there is a tight turn that doesn't look so tight
>Recommended speed for this turn is like 20
>I don't see the sign because some worthless piece of garbage thought the best place for it on the right side of a right turn lane 300 yards from the turn
>Realize a little too late that tight turn is tight, manage to get it back down to speed limit with breaks.
>might have made it with a puckerd anus
>EXCEPT
>MOTHER
>FUCKING
>GRAVEL
>Dakota has no antilock breaks
>Dakota has lost all traction
>Fly off this road into a drainage ditch for a little leauge field
>As i am flying think "okay, shitbox is tough she can take it"
>"Is that a--"
>land on a motherfucking rock
>when i say a rock i mean a ROCK
>dent the oil pan, punch a hole in one rim, trash another, broke a tirerod and caused a leak in the rear diff that i didn't find out until way later that the repair shop didn't catch.
>also kicked a 600 pound rock like 11 yards
>Pic related is the rock
>>
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>>17729609
why didn't it upload this?
>>
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>>17729609
Pic related is damage
>>
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>>17729609
>Background of pic related is the road
>>
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>>17729609
Pic related is the hole in the rim
>>
>>17729662
Nice fucking blogpost
>>
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>>17729609
And last bit not least, Pic related is my Beretta 92 mag on said rock
>>
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>>17729666
fuck off reddit
>>
>>17729666
We should be close to bump limit anyway doesn't really matter
>>
>>17723210
I drove an 88 accord in highschool too. We got rid of it cause the alternator went bad
>>
>>17724390
>>17724373
Something similar happened to me once
>stuck at ramp signals
>cars roll forward one car length every 10 seconds
>I see a sweet z in the lane next to me so stare at it
>it's fine because I know I have a decent gap in front of me
>toddler minded bitch in a commodore violently changes lanes (on a ramp signal) right in front of me
>I don't see and tap her rear bumper with my number plate
>no damage
>we both pull over anyway
>you hit me I can't see anything but I'm going to need to get this inspected in case there is damage what is your number
>give her fake name and number

Both lanes move the same speed and lead to the same place. For the life of me I never understand why it's even allowed to change lanes at a ramp signal
>>
>>17729026
magnet sticks are great
You can get them for like 10€ on Amazon.
Its literally just a magnet on a stick or wire.
>>
>>17729678
I don't even go on Reddit you cancerous piece of shit, I just don't want you useless tripfags hogging a good thread.
>>
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Atleast the dude I hit wasn't an asshole, still fucked up my dignity for a month.
>>
>just fixed old Simson S51
>fixed front brake cable
>brake is now about 3x as strong
>new paint
>looks beautifull
>ride it during bidnight
>only weak as fuck original east german light
>drive into roundabout
>see exis
>raise up Simson to exit
>THAT IS NOT A EXIT
>THERE IS A CURBSTONE
>APPLY FULL BRAKES

I locked the front wheel up and slided over the curbstone thanks to old tires and much improoved brake.

Damage:
>headlight glass cracked
>speedometer squished (didn´t work anyway)

injuries
>scratched 5x5cm of knee open

worst thing:
>still 70 km to ride home
>>
>>17718966
>Go to 4chan car meet
>Have a good time
>Befriend 4channers irl
>>
>>17726391
>drive home and convince myself nothing ever happened

truer words have never been spoken
>>
>>17726983
I've driven on 3/5 lug nuts before to go and buy some more nuts. Was the safest I've ever driven that car.
>>
>>17727045
>stealing
Jesus this thread is full of degenerates isn't it?
>>
>>17731772
This your first time on 4chan or something?
>>
>>17731793
No, but I've noticed an inordinate amount of degeneracy in this thread. Drunk driving, drugs, theft. Usually I don't see this much.
>>
>>17731906
Well I mean it's a thread about fucking up, it's the optimal place for such a thing.
>>
>>17731772
You haven't joined us in the do you consume drugs or alcohol while driving threads.
>T. Degenerate
>>
>>17723545
Oh my god fucking kill yourself seriously just die you cringey spazzy cunt holy shit
>>
>>17732075
The only cringy piece of shit cunt in this fucking place is you and your mom for allowing such abomination to come out of her loose vagina un-aborted, faggot.
>>
>>17725833
>Almost everyone I know has one
You should know better people
>>
>>17722430
>Brakes won't work
Yes they will just press them harder you weak idiot
>>
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when this happened
>>
>>17732874
bro he was 13

>>17733337
storytime?
>>
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>>17733441
sure, its pretty retarded tho
>driving in mountains
>let good friend drive since i trust him
>bit of a crazy driver but so am i so dont mind too much
>litteraly tossing car around corners at like 50 mph in wet conditions
>he comes around one corner even faster
>back wheels slide out car is now hurdeling down the road spinning
>hear friend screaming oh shit oh shit
>go into 20 foot embankment on side of the road backward and flip twice
>entire top of car is crunched inward literal miracle we didnt both die
>dad was paying for my insurance at the time and as it turned out the car was only insured for liability
>didnt know this and it ended with friend paying just under half of the cars worth out of his own pocket
>now i never turn off traction control in the rain
>pic related
>>
>>17733477
You didn't fuck up because of traction control. You fucked up because you let an asshole drive fast in the rain.
>>
>>17733441
>he
I*
>>
reversing without looking behind
>>
>>17718966
>jetta 2001
>be driving down mountain in wintah
>old guy in subarude wanting jetta butt
>going 45 'round turns, he catches up only in straights and rides dat ass
>left hand turn goes dark, pull out just ahead fbm gonna do it
>ice errywhere
>studs make me chad
>rear slips, suddenly anime
>GF is screaming, didn't hear it desu
>flick tail back, still wagging
>suddenly a car comes around the corner ahead
>fuck it
>flick car into wall at an angle
>spin backwards, totaled car
>watch as idiot in subaru spin three times, glad I wasn't near that idiot
>other car slowly passes us
>use ice to slowly spin back 'round in dead car without tapping wall
>GF is silent, apologize as we slow to a halt skidding into the pull out
>fuck gotta get front plate to turn in
>see snow walls over 14' high, fucking plough shooters left me no way to get to safey
>two more cars following us crash, blocking road
>caddy, toyota rears 'em
>this was right where my plate was, I was out there searching for it like an idiot
>if I found it I would've been hit
>be the last car taken out two hours later, no heater and ears ringing from crash
>we went down for business supplies, came back with a totaled car

Welp, gotta' give Jetta some dupes, it can sure spin.
>>
>>17723793
The only mellenial thing is your autism. Normal people have said things like that for many years. Most people call my car "the Ford" and not what model it is.
>>
>>17733574
not an asshole really especially considering he paid for it. I honestly believe that if i was behind the wheel the same thing wouldve happened.
>>
>>17719092
This sounds really familiar
>>
>>17722814
no stop i love the memes here
>>
>>17732111
>cringy piece of shit cunt
I thought India was range banned
>>
>>17723976
Cops really don't care about weed unless you have enough to indicate you're a dealer.
>>
>>17727370
>gets out of jail
>begin breaking law immediately
Do you ever wonder how you wound up in jail, or do you just blame everyone but yourself?
>>
>>17722334
Was it, dare i say it, AuTiSM?
>>
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>>17719080
>>17719092
Well shit
JUST fuck my shit up senpai
What a shitty situation you had there m8
>>
>changing mums oil
>she's trying to drive up ramps
>almost. almost. car rolls back
>almost. almost. car rolls back
>want me to do it
>refuses
>almost. Almost
>fucking guns it
>car launches
>front clears ramps
>massive dent in chassis
>lets me do it after that
>>
>>17733477
You're a dumb fucking idiot.
Thread posts: 315
Thread images: 59


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